| North Hamgye |
"I guess you're lucky," Jungkook said as he helped Rosé stand up. "Why?" She asked brushing the dirt away although it was no use. "I was about to leave Korea today. By ship." He paused. She looked at him stunned. "Tell me, what's happening? I want to help you. Everyone wants to help you." She paused.
"The ship will go to Japan, Philippines, Malaysia, and eventually to Europe. It's a shipment ship and I can just sneak in with the items. I was thinking of settling in either Malaysia or Vietnam. It's one of the closest to Australia yet I don't think any of you would find me in those countries so I'm safe."
"Australia? Why Australia?" She asked when she heard the country name. "I thought that the reason why I couldn't contact you was that you went there. But lately, it got me thinking. I asked help from the wrong person. If I had asked Jisoo, Lisa, the guys or even Tzuyu, I might still be there at Hamgye." Ouch, that was a hard blow to her. He had asked the wrong person for help. But now, her priority is to convince him to stay. That was her mission all along.
"Did you know a week ago Jennie was in Milan? Kai had found her five years ago. She lost most of her memories and her ankle is even broken right now. Yet, she fights through her pain to find you, please come home." She rested her hands on his cheeks.
"You're guilt-tripping me?" He said with a chuckled, he removed her hand from his face. They were fine. They were supposed to be fine. Yet why did it seemed like there's a wall between them? Why are feelings so difficult? Why does it have to be difficult anyway? "I'm not, I'm just telling you what lengths we're going to take you back home." He avoided eye contact with her.
"Jung--" She was interrupted when he pulled her hand. "It's raining heavily, we should find shelter. If any of us get sick, it will troublesome. Plus, we have to find Jennie and Taehyung as fast as we can right? You said it yourself that Jennie is still injured." They started walking from where they had rolled down but he lets her hand go.
Was this the final strike for them? Was him reaching out to her 3 months ago was a test to see if she had cared about him as he did? If it was a test, then she had failed it. She had failed it so bad that he gave up on them. "There's a hut." Jungkook pointed out. "I think it was built for visitors to have a picnic. Rest here, I'll find us firewoods."
She couldn't say anything. Maybe being left alone for a while can get her to think of what to say. If Jungkook is angry, she can reason with him. She can calm him down. The only problem is that she was afraid if she cried and starts victimising herself. She needed to admit that he needed her help and she ignored it. She needs to know that she was wrong.
Making a decision from her heart. It sounded easier said than done. She was afraid of getting hurt once again but what relationship doesn't have a rough patch once awhile. And the lack of arguments just shows that they don't care about each other that much. Apologizing, that's the right thing she must do. If he accepts that, it's better if he doesn't then, at least she apologize and admitted that she was wrong. That's what important.
He returned with stones and woods soon after. "I think this is going to keep us warm for the time being. We can't stay too long. The rest must be worried about you." He said in one breath. She just nodded in understanding. She can't make him angry. An angry Jungkook terrifies her, they broke up when he was angry.
She has to pick her words carefully. God this is a terrifying task. "Being alone is bliss at times." Jungkook sighed when he had successfully lit a fire. It was getting darker and colder. "It got me to really think what I had done for the past year, it also got me thinking about the people by my side." He looked at her. There was no hints of sadness or anger. It was blank.
"So, let's be honest to ourselves Rosé," He took hold of her hand. "I've loved you and I'm sure at one point, you love me too." He paused, taking a breath. Rosé felt like the air surrounds her was getting limited for some reason, her chest tightens. He said 'loved' does that mean he doesn't love her anymore? " 3 months ago, when I asked for your help, where were you?"
"When you see me, your lips were quivering, and a habit you do when you're guilty of something. I know you like the back of my palms, you even said,'I'm sorry, I need you, please.' If you're aren't guilty of something, you wouldn't say that." He paused again.
Here it was the moment of truth. If she lies now, he will soon know it sooner or later. If she tells him the truth, the 'us' that she expected, the 'them' that she longed for will be no more. Both will eventually hurt one another in the end. What should she do? What does her heart tell her to do? What would anyone do?
She took a deep breath, don't cry. She told herself. She doesn't deserve to cry right now. "3 months ago, I was selfish." She paused. "I told Taehyung that you were the one that been ignoring me when I did. He believed me and tried to cheer me up. Those 3 months, I didn't think about you. Namjoon confronted me but I told him that I was.." She paused for the nth time.
"I was done with you," She forcefully closed her eyes. She doesn't want to see his face now. He is hurt. I didn't know what really happened to you until they told me the truth. Then, here we are. They needed the lead from your text in my phone and all this while, you've been waiting for someone to grab your hand to save yourself from the black hole but I.."
She took a deep breath, looking at him. She can't afford to cry right now. His eyes were brimming with tears but he didn't bother to wipe them or hide it. But his eyes were at their hands. "but I just stood there. Nothing." He nodded, "did you come here because you felt obligated or guilty to find me? If you weren't, you wouldn't have mentioned how Jennie is enduring her pain to find me." He asked tears kept spilling from his eyes.
"Maybe." She sighed. She closed her eyes, forcing herself not to cry. "I won't run," Jungkook said briefly. "Jennie, Jisoo and the rest still need me here." He paused as he took a deep breath. She felt a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for loving me, and I loved you but right now, I can't." He said that and moved to the other side of the hut. "Go to sleep, we have a long walk when the rain stops."
The rain did stop after a few hours. And he did stay with her, even gave his cardigan that he wore to her. There were few bruises on him and some old scars. "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo when I returned back." He smiled at her. His eyes were puffy and red but his smiles to her was still the same. The walk was filled with empty talks. This is what she deserves. "Is that the lighthouse head?" He pointed at a direction. "Yeah, we have to climb up." She said again. "Didn't you say the rest is at the lighthouse? I'll help you first, and you can get the rest to help pull me up." He suggested.
a/n : black swan is definitely one of my top bts songs (where i can jam anytime regardless of how I'm feeling) of all time including, tears, mic drop, fake love, epiphany, i need u, house of cards, best of me, y'all watch me list all bts songs. Sfshgssh but there's something about black swan instrumentals that makes me fall in love.
and oh, let's go angst!!