It turned out a kiss truly didn't mean anything to me. Or, perhaps just not from Jackie Reed. She laughed after, and then I laughed. After that, there was nothing more to say and we swam for an hour more and I went home on my bike around six. A week passed by as it had before and I went to Jackie's house to swim another few times. I'd barely see her mom. Sometimes I'd say hello in the kitchen or see her walking past the pool house doors. She was reserved. But it wasn't something I thought about much—I was there for Jackie, and the pool.
At the end of the week, Jackie and I organised that I'd come over on Saturday evening for a practise and perhaps to stay over too. So, on Saturday around five p.m, I hopped on my bike and rode upwards through our town, lake-bound. Jackie's house was only a small distance from the large lake that was the attraction of our boring town, but no one really went there too often. It was popular in the summer with tourists who were on the all-American road trip, but around September to May it was almost always soulless. I remembered being younger and begging my dad to take me up there - to do what? I don't remember. But when we did go, he'd hold me right under my armpits and let me splash my bare feet in the shallow end. It was freezing water, but it was fresh and natural. Fog hung around it in cold mornings and the surface wobbled and sparkled under summer sunlight. I doubted then that my dad would take me anymore. I was too old, and he was too busy. So on the odd occasion, I would go alone. I'd stand at the edge of the water, roll my trousers up to my knees and step into the shallow shore area. I would shiver. I'd feel my skin prickle with goosebumps, but I'd take another few steps forward and wiggle my toes in the sand. I sometimes wished that I went more often. After I'd leave for college, it would become something I wouldn't be able to see anymore. The town and the lake may just become a memory, and only that.
At the bottom of Jackie's road, I saw a familiar head of blonde hair making her way down, a plastic bag in her hands. She saw me first and waved. I waved back politely. But the way she had stopped and stood at the side of the street meant she wanted to talk, so I slowed beside her on my bike.
Her face was red before I even spoke.
"Hi, Giana." I said, smiling.
"Hi, Norah, are you alright?" She asked, speaking quickly as she always did.
I laughed softly. "Yes, I'm alright. Are you?"
She nodded, and I watched her eyes run over my body. "You look so... different out of your school uniform."
"Good different, or bad different?"
"Good different! Of course... you always look good." She said quietly, staring down at my outfit. I was only wearing a navy hoodie and sweatpants as I was about to swim at Jackie's but I guessed it would look strange if she'd only ever seen me in school uniform and a swimsuit.
"Well, thanks." I nodded at the bag in her hands. "Where you off to?"
She pulled the handles apart and showed me its contents; a bag of sugar and a pint of milk. "I'm taking these to a family friend. She's kind of bed bound at the moment."
"How kind." I said softly, glancing into the bag another time before looking back up into Giana's red face.
"It's not really... but if you think so, then I guess. I mean, anyone would, wouldn't they?" She gushed. She swayed on the balls of her feet. I smiled at that.
"Well, perhaps they would. Maybe they'd find it too much of a hassle - going on a saturday. I just think it's kind you would, I bet they're grateful." I shrugged, smiling.
"Hmm. Perhaps." She mumbled, and stared at me for a second. "Anyway, where are you going, Norah?"
"Just out." I said. "To swim."
"Of course. I'm not surprised. Don't you get tired of it?" Giana asked.
"No, not ever." I grinned. "Well, I won't keep you from your delivery. See you, Giana."
"Oh! Bye, Norah. Text me!" She called as I started to pedal up the road again.
Only a few minutes later was I stopped outside of Jackie's house. I propped my bike against her inside wall and walked up to the front door. There was no car in the drive space again. It was mostly always empty, and I'd assumed that Jackie's dad owned the car that was supposed to be sat there. I'd never seen him though. He was a mysterious man to me and a few times I'd questioned his existence all together. But I knew he existed from the men's shoes in the hallway and the ring on Mrs. Reed's finger.
I'd noticed her fingers were slender, hands well groomed and her nails were always shapely. I suspected she got them done often. The paint on them was usually a dark wine red and they were a neat length.
I knocked on the door. There was a minute of wait, and impatiently I stepped through her bushes to get to the window. She'd said on Friday that she would be waiting for me but there hadn't been any motion behind the door, or the windows. As I was peering into the window, I heard the door open to the left of me.
"Oh, shit." I cursed as I hopped back through the bushes to the doorstep.
Jackie's mom was standing there, eyebrows raised as I appeared from her front yard bushes. She was dressed in her usual skirt and blouse, despite her being in her own home, but her hair was tied back in a low ponytail and her top two buttons were undone. I wasn't expecting her to be standing there so I did a bit of a double take, my heart stammering under my skin.
"Norah... What were you doing—" she glanced past me to the bush I'd emerged from, "—in the bushes?"
"Mrs. Reed! Sorry... I'm sorry! I was waiting for Jackie and when she didn't come to the door I, uhm, went to the window." I looked at her confused and faintly amused face and gulped. "I see how strange that looked now."
She smiled softly, "so what are you doing here?"
"I'm here for Jackie, she said we'd swim today and that I would stay the night—if that was okay with you, of course." I said politely, looking past her shoulder and into the hall. I couldn't see Jackie.
"Jackie? She just went out with friends an hour ago. Didn't she say?" Mrs. Reed looked confused, attractively so and I felt weirdly guilty—as if I was wasting her time. I wanted to disappear.
"Oh, no. She didn't say. There must have been some kind of mistake in the times or something." I said, feeling slightly irritated that Jackie hadn't mentioned a change of plan. I tried to remember a time where I maybe wasn't paying full attention while she was talking but I couldn't think of one.
"That's unlike Jackie. I'm sorry, Norah. She isn't here but you can still come in and swim." Mrs. Reed offered kindly. Her face and voice were so genuine it hurt.
"You wouldn't mind?"
She smiled at me. "Of course not. Come on."
My whole body felt wobbly as I walked past her into the house. It felt strange to not be welcomed in by Jackie, to not tail after her into the pool house with a brief hello to the woman who was beside me then. Mrs. Reed was smiling still when I looked back at her, like she was constantly amused at the sight of me. I didn't know whether I was unnerved or excited, the feelings felt too similar when they swirled in my gut the way they were.
She was walking at my side, both our feet aiming for the kitchen.
"Are you sure I can go and swim?" I asked, needing to hear reassurance.
"Yes, I'm sure. Why wouldn't you be allowed?" She said as we stopped in the kitchen.
I shrugged, leaning against the counter. "Isn't it weird that I'm just here alone? I don't mind, I can go back."
"No, it's not weird at all. Well, I don't think it is." She paused and looked over at me. "You're one of Jackie's better friends."
Her words warmed me, and I realised that I cared about the opinion she had of me. "Probably the best, ma'am." I joked. "But why? Has she got bad friends?"
"No, no! Not necessarily bad, but you're more... comfortable to be around. They can be loud, and impolite." She explained, tucking a loosened strand of hair back behind her ear.
Comfortable—I'm comfortable to her, to be around!
"And I'm polite?"
"Always. You're always polite." She said, waving her hands to exaggerate and I smiled at the motion. "You call me ma'am and Mrs. You make me feel old."
"That's not my intention though—to make you feel old. I'm sorry." I said sheepishly.
"It's alright, just I don't know, call me by my first name instead. It would sound easier." She suggested.
"Which is?"
"Mio. My first name is Mio." She said softly. And what a lovely name it was. I knew no one with one similar.
"Okay, Mio." I said, grinning at how strange the word felt in my mouth.
"You don't have to say it like that though." She laughed gently, and my insides reacted to the sound.
"Like what?"
"Like you did!" She said, and her face had grown a little red at the cheekbones. It was odd to see a grown woman blush, even slightly. It made me wonder how I said it, how it had made her think of something.
We looked at each other for a moment or two more and then I shook my head and laughed.
"I'll go to the pool now—though, sorry to be annoying, but I need a towel." I said, stepping toward the pool house.
"You couldn't be annoying, now go on. You can go and get in."
I left the kitchen and went into the pool house. And for some reason, I felt nervous to undress in the safety of the there. Even though I was standing beside the wall, away from the sliding glass, I stripped down hesitantly, glancing over at the see-through doors. Of course, nobody came through and even if they did, it didn't really matter. I felt strange. Instead of diving in, I climbed down the metal ladder into the heated water slowly, taking my time as if I was posing for a photo. I still dunked my head under though, treading down until my body spun so that I was facing the pool base.
It's less strange down here, it works, I thought to myself, and the words swam even in my head as if my mind too was submerged. I suppose it was.
I came up and took a deep breath, eyelashes dripping and hair slicked down against my cheeks where it had pulled out of my ponytail. I puffed out my cheeks, smoothing my hair back.
I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Jackie had ditched me. The idea flared an anger inside me. I wanted to yell, but I wouldn't. So I instead blew aggressive bubbles into the pool with my lips and then moved to the edge, ready to give Jackie a piece of my mind. I'd already thought of the excuses I would forgive and the ones I wouldn't. I flipped open my phone and pressed down on the keypad, searching for her contact. I hoped she even had it on her. Sometimes she couldn't even manage to do that.
It rang once, and twice, then it clicked and picked up. "Hello?"
"Jackie. Where are you?"
"Norah? Huh? I'm with Fiona and ... I'm forgetting something, aren't I?" She said, her voice sounding suddenly sheepish.
"I can't believe you." I hissed. "You said we would hang out today! I'm at your damn house!"
"Of course, I'm so sorry, Norah! I purely did just forget and this morning Fiona had asked to go with her to an event she was nervous about and I'd become so confused; I didn't mean it!" Jackie gushed, and I could hear her voice wobbling a bit. The last thing I wanted to do was make her cry while she was out with her friends. "I'm an awful friend, aren't I? I'm coming back. Hold on, Norah, I'm coming home."
"Don't be stupid, stay, stay. Don't come here. It's alright, okay?"
She sniffled. "You forgive me, Fish?"
"Of course I forgive you, you soppy girl. It was an accident, okay?" I sighed.
"I'm still really sorry. What'll you do now?"
"Well, I guess I'll just have to hang out with your mom. She won't ditch me, huh." I joked, fanning out my legs behind me gently, elbows leant against the poolside.
"Don't be weird." Jackie said, sounding disgusted. "Just go home, it would be more fun than talking to my mom."
"Hey! I already spoke to her, she's not boring. Be nice to your mom now." I smiled, and glanced over at the sliding doors.
"Gross, you sound just like her. Just swim and go home - like a normal person." Jackie sounded like she was moving about, like she'd left the room she was in when we started the call.
The sliding doors breathed as they slid open and Mio stepped in, holding a bath towel over her arm. I looked up at her.
"Too late, she's here right now. Bye!" I grinned, pulling the phone away from my ear and just catching Jackie yelling something about me being strange. I ended the call.
"What was that?" Mio asked, a small smile on her lips.
"Teasing Jackie." I said, and she folded the towel down beside my bag and my clothes. "Thank you."
I wanted to add her name at the end but I didn't feel it was the right time just then. She nodded at my thanks but didn't go leave, she looked ready to talk again.
"Did you find the reason?" She questioned.
I nodded. "She just told me that she'd just forgot and I guess I can't be mad about that."
I watched her move then, and I think for a second or two I didn't breathe. She smoothed down the front of her skirt and crouched at the poolside, placing both her hands flat on her thighs and remaining completely steady. It was admirable really. She didn't wobble or topple. Her legs were pressed tight together modestly so I couldn't accidently peer down under her skirt - not that there was much of a chance of that. She'd tucked her dark hair behind her ear on the left side. The position, with her halved in height to be closer and me leant against the pool edge, meant a conversation would ensue. She wouldn't walk back into the kitchen and stay as reserved as she usually would. For some reason, she wanted to talk with me. And with her being the seemingly unreachable, womanly woman she was, I felt quite proud of myself. Something in me inflated and beat, like a heart.
"How is Jackie at school?" She asked.
"She's similar to here, I think. Her attitude never seems to change, no matter where she goes. Yeah." I answered. My shoulders were growing chill the longer I stayed above the water; I felt a draft licking over my damp skin.
"And you?"
"And me?" I tilted my head, appearing confused like a dog. She nodded. I continued, "well, I suppose I'm a little louder there than I am here. I actually enjoy school, kind of - as much as you can really. I try to put effort into all my classes.."
"A good girl in school, I guessed so." She nodded, and that thing inside me beat again. "And is Jackie, uhm, interested in anyone in school?"
I laughed a little, "sometimes she is. A few people in the past."
"Norah," she started seriously, saying my name in a way that made me think I was in trouble, "are you Jackie's girlfriend?"
If I had a drink, I would have spluttered with it. My smile slowly faded and my cheeks got quite hot. Quick embarrassment set in as I thought about the only thing that could have given her that impression: the kiss. No one had been at the door when I looked, but who's to say she wasn't standing there while my eyes were closed and my lips were on Jackie's. I knew she'd seen, and it made me beyond embarrassed. I wanted to clamber out of the pool and run all the way home. I thought of never coming back to Jackie's again, of sticking to swimming at school and in town. The shame I felt then seemed too humiliating.
I'm sure my face was bright red as I spoke next. "Did you see something weird? Oh, God..."
Mio smiled slowly and raised her eyebrow slightly teasingly. "See what? Was I supposed to have seen something?"
I'd given myself away too quickly, but fortunately, I felt more relief than embarrassment at that point. "No, no, nothing at all." I said.
"So, you are Jackie's girlfriend?" She pressed.
I shook my head. "No, I'm just Jackie's friend. Only that. Jackie's very funny and she's lovely and she's beautiful - but we aren't like that."
I wanted to tell her sorry for the misunderstanding, but what exactly did I have to be sorry for? At my explanation, Mio smiled again.
"Of course, I gave her all the good things. Especially the beauty." She said in a joking tone. But the way she looked when she said it made me want to agree boldy.
"I think so too," I said, looking at her seriously.
She appeared to be a little surprised at first but smiled politely in response and said, "thank you, Norah."
Perhaps I was a bit weird. Just like Jackie had said.