chapter 11: the rookie •••
You drive yourself crazy waiting for Din to return, constantly pacing around and busying yourself with whatever tedious task you can to distract yourself. Peli, feeling sympathetic for you, lets you shadow her as she works on the Razor Crest, and you both make the necessary work go much faster—since Din had insisted upon no droids assisting her. It manages to give you at least something else to think about and focus on. Yet, when the Tatooine suns are high in the sky once again and there's been no sign of Din, you've started to assume the worst.
The work's done, and now you have nothing else to do but torment yourself with thoughts of Din's job going bad. You sit in one of the chairs of Peli's office with the child resting in your arms, your eyes closed as you attempt to get some rest. She's gone to get some more supplies, and she let you have the office to yourself. You barely slept last night, and while your exhaustion weighs heavily upon you, it's still extremely difficult to try to sleep with the worries that consume you.
You do, however, manage to drift in and out—until you're rudely awoken by the sound of binders clasping shut. Your eyes shoot open, and you look to see the child no longer in your arms. Those same binders enclose your arms together. A cold rush of horror runs through you as you look up to see none other than Toro standing above you, holding your blaster in his one of his hands. The child's secured in his other arm. The absence of Din makes your heart skip a beat.
"Where is he?" you ask, your voice sounding low and threatening. When he doesn't answer, you yell louder. "Where is he?"
"He's probably realizing that the bounty's dead, and he's next," Toro remarks.
You scoff, shaking your head as you do so. "You can't kill him. You'd die trying."
"I'm not going to kill him." Toro's voice is full of arrogance as he looks down at the confused child in his arm. "I'm going to turn him in to the Guild."
You narrow your eyes at him. "You really think you're going to be able to do that?"
Toro smiles menacingly at you. "Yes." He pauses as he puts your blaster on his belt, reaching that hand forward to hold your chin and force you to keep looking up at him. "Thanks to you. You're my bait."
Feeling disgusted by his touch, you spit at him, landing it on his arm. He shakes it away in disgust, turning back to you with a dark look. He grabs you by the collar of your shirt and throws you towards the corner of the office, causing you to grunt in pain when your head and body meet the hard wall viciously. He walks over to grab a piece of fabric from his belt, tying it around your mouth so you're no longer audible.
"You'll regret that later. For now, you can sit tight until the transaction's complete."
You continue to glare at him, intending on standing back up and freeing your way out as soon as he leaves. He, however, thinks one step ahead, giving the droids that still linger a command to make sure you stay inside and Din stays out or else he'll destroy them. They comply, and the three of them keep watch both outside of the office's foggy glass and on you.
You're not sure how long you sit in the corner of that office, waiting for Din to come back to the mess you've gotten into. At one point, you hear Peli return, but Toro whisks her away into wherever he's been hiding himself and the child. During the entirety of that time, you can't stop feeling guilty for letting this rookie bounty hunter manage to take away the child and lock you up so easily. You're a fighter, and a damn good one at that, and you didn't even allow yourself a chance at proving that. You'd fallen right into the trap, and now it was only Din who could get you all out of it.
Suddenly, you hear movement outside of the office again. The droids duck their heads down, and you try to crane your neck to see what's happening. The movements are as quiet and swift as possible, and your heart flutters at the thought of it being Din.
"Took you long enough, Mando," you suddenly hear Toro's voice say, and you perk up at the name he addresses.
He's back. He's all right.
"Looks like I'm calling the shots now, huh, partner?" You grimace at the sound of his arrogant voice.
"Where is she?" Your heart practically flies at the sound of Din's voice. You try to call out to him, but the cloth around your mouth drowns out every sound.
"You'll find out once you drop your blaster and raise 'em."
You continue to hear silence, and you hope Din doesn't comply with his words. You soon, however, hear the dull sound of his blaster hitting the sand, and you close your eyes in worry.
"Cuff him," Toro commands someone, who you assume to be Peli. The tension in the air is enough to practically choke you, if the cloth around your mouth wasn't already doing an effective enough job at that. "You're a Guild traitor, Mando. And I'm willin' to bet that this here is the target that you helped to escape." You cringe at the thought of Toro holding the child. The continued silence on Din's behalf makes you uneasy. "Fennec was right—bringing you in won't just make me a member of the Guild... it'll make me legendary."
There's more silence, and your stomach stirs in anticipation. Suddenly, you see a bright flashing of light. You squint your eyes and feel your heart begin to pound when the sound of blaster fire comes soon after. Then, you hear a single shot from Din's blaster, and then the sound of a large thump against the sand. You let out a breath of relief, assuming that Din's been able to take out the overconfident rookie. There's a sound of rustling, as if Din's searching the body. You feel fear fill you for the child's safety.
"Where is it?" Peli's voice appears next, and you can hear them looking around the hangar. You close your eyes as the worries run through you.
Then, you hear the child's coos, and you let out the breath you didn't realize you've been holding.
"There you are!" Peli exclaims in relief. "Were you hiding from us?"
Despite the confirmation of the child being found, you can still hear restless searching, and now you assume Din's looking for you. You try to call out to him, but the cloth stops you again, and you curse a few times to yourself as your head falls back against the wall in frustration.
"Do you know where she is?" Din's modulated voice doesn't even try to hide his panic as it addresses Peli. "What did he do with her? Is she safe?"
"I haven't seen her," Peli informs him.
The droids, no longer in fear of being killed, instantly rush out of the office. You raise an eyebrow, trying to stand up but—not having any arms to help—realize you can't.
"What's that, guys?" Peli asks the droids. "She's in there?"
Without a moment of hesitation, you can hear Din's footsteps coming closer to the office, and relief sweeps over you as soon as you see him in front of you. "Cyar'ika," he breathes, running over to you and dropping to his knees as he releases your binders and removes the cloth from around your mouth. In the whirlwind of relief and alleviation of the horrors that've been haunting you for over a day, you find your vision blurry, and the first thing you can think of doing is throwing your arms around Din's neck and burying your face in the cloth that covers it.
"Din," your voice comes out sounding like a gasp. "I was so worried."
"I'm sorry," Din remarks, his voice sounding full of the same emotion as yours. "I should've seen it coming. I thought he'd gotten away with you two, and..." He trails off, just pulling you in closer as he gets the two of you off the ground. He regretfully pulls you away from him to cup one of your cheeks in his hand. "You're okay?"
You nod. "I'm fine. I just... I was really worried about you."
Din lets out a sigh. "Me too. I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you."
You continue looking at him, now feeling the guilt rush over you. "I'm so sorry, Din. He got to the child before I even had a chance to—."
"This isn't on you," Din assures you firmly. "He wanted me. He wouldn't have hurt the child—and thank Maker he didn't hurt you."
You give him a nod, not fully convinced but willing to sideline it for the moment. Din leads the way back out of the office, where you see Peli rocking the child gently. Her eyes light up upon seeing you.
"You're all right!" Peli cheers, giving you a smile. "I guess I left at the wrong time for those supplies, huh?"
You manage a laugh, shaking your head as you take the child from her arms. It looks up at you with a loud coo, and you brush your hand over its ear in return. You watch as Din wanders over to the body of Toro and digs into his pocket, taking something out of it. Meanwhile, Peli sighs lightly.
"So, I take it you didn't get paid," Peli says, looking at Din with disappointment. He, however, empties the contents of whatever he's taken from Toro—and hundreds of credits fall out onto Peli's hands. She looks at it with wide eyes.
"Does that cover us?" Din asks, tossing the wallet to the side.
"Yeah, that just about covers ya'," Peli assures him. She gives you a friendly pat on the shoulder and the child an affectionate tap on the head before she heads back towards her office. You feel Din's hand rest on your back, bringing your attention back to him.
"Ready to go?" Din questions, gesturing towards the ship.
You nod, following him inside with the child pulled close to you. In the lighting of the Crest, you can't help noticing the dark smears across the front of his cuirass, mirroring something of a strong blaster shot. You grimace, making a mental note to question that as you follow Din into the cockpit.
Silence pursues as Din takes off, letting the Crest get used to its new condition before leaving the atmosphere and punching into hyperspace. Once the autopilot's on, Din turns to you, tilting his head as he spots you rocking the sleeping child.
"I'm going to put it to bed," you tell Din in a soft whisper, so as to not awaken the child. "Then, I'd like to talk." You gesture with your eyes to the mark on his cuirass, and he looks at it himself. You stand up without hearing an answer, descending the ladder and setting the bundled child down gently onto its bed. You smile slightly at its peaceful state—wishing you could feel the same way—and close the door. As soon as you turn around, you see Din standing nearby, his helmet tilted in curiosity. "What happened here?" You walk towards him, reaching a hand out to delicately touch the blackened armor.
Din lets out a breath. "An MK-modified rifle."
Your eyes double in size, your fingers remaining where they are as you look up at Din with concern. "A sniper bolt? You were being sniped?"
Din takes the hand you've left on his chest and holds it in both of his. "And I'm all right, aren't I? It's okay. The beskar held up."
You sigh, still observing the place where it struck. You know it still had to hurt him, just judging by the staining it left behind. You take your free hand and place it back over the spot, pressing down on it with just a bit of pressure. Instantly, you hear Din hiss under his helmet, even though you know he'd tried to hold it back.
"You're hurt under there," you inform him, your voice full of worry. You look up at his visor with pleading eyes. "Can we take care of it? Please?"
Din seems hesitant at first, but he soon obliges, giving you a nod. You smile slightly in relief, beckoning him towards the place you'd both sat before when the child had healed you. Din sits with his back against the wall as you reach for the medical supplies. You kneel beside him, setting the supplies down as you grab the edges of his cuirass.
"We'll clean this after," you assure him, pulling hard to take the metal off. When it comes loose, you place it to the side, turning back to Din. You figure he won't need to remove anymore of his armor, but he's already removed his pauldrons and put those to the side as well. You take in a breath as your fingers look for the hem of the thick shirt he always wears underneath the armor, and once you find it, you look back up at him for approval. When he gives you another nod, you gingerly pull the material up until you can the skin of his entire upper body.
Your eyes can't help grazing over the fading battle scars and scattered bruises, and your heart softens instantly. It visually reminds you that Din really is a human being under all that armor, and he feels all the same pain as you and many others. You try not to dwell on the toned muscles you can see, acquired from many years spent training and exerting themselves in battle, but you can't help it. There is, however, one thing that sticks out the most—and it's a huge, dark bruise spread across the same place where the shot had hit Din's cuirass.
"Oh, Din," you breathe, your fingers running gently over the bruise. You can hear the faintest wince from Din even at your delicate touch, which breaks your heart. "I'll try to be as gentle as I can."
You reach into the medical supplies and take out whatever you can to help the bruise, finding a bottle and a bacta patch as the best solutions. You first squeeze whatever's in the bottle out onto two of your fingers and move towards Din's chest, beginning to rub it in circles over the bruise. Din grunts at the feeling, and you offer your free hand for him to take. He begins to squeeze it as you continue. Once that's finished, you get the bacta patch ready, placing it as gently as you can over the bruised skin. You take a deep breath when it's in place, your hand still lingering on his chest.
The moment instantly changes, then. Din's wound's been taken care of, and you can busy yourself now with cleaning his beskar—but you can't bring yourself to lean away from him. Your eyes focus intently on the place your fingers are still touching, your other hand still tight in Din's grasp. You don't move, and barely even breathe, wanting to absorb the closeness you have right now. It's the most human contact you've had in too long—and you can imagine that it's the same for Din.
You're surprised when his free hand suddenly wraps around your wrist, moving your hand across his chest. When he stops, your hand remains over the left part of his chest, right over his heart. You can feel the way it's racing—just like your own. You finally look up at him, seeing his visor looking down at you intently.
"We're sitting here, in hyperspace, with no threats or excitement around," Din tells you softly. "And yet my heart is still pounding."
You part your lips, wanting to speak but being unable to find any words. Your gaze observes the helmet closely, and your mind flashes back to all the worry you felt when he'd been out on the job. How you only wanted to see him walking into that hangar. How you feared you'd never see him again when Toro returned without him. And that's when you find your response, knowing that it must be said. "Din," you begin, your voice strong yet hushed in emotion. Your gaze drops to your hand on his chest. "I... I have feelings for you." You look back up at his helmet, seeing it stare back at you as still as a stone. "More than just as a companion, or even just as a home. You're my home because I don't want to be anywhere without you. When I thought you were gone, I was so scared, and I couldn't imagine having to live again without you. I really, really care about you, Din."
Din's visor simply stares at you for a few long moments. Finally, he releases his grip on your wrist, instead bringing that hand to cup your cheek with his gloved hand. His thumb brushes over your cheek affectionately. "Cyar'ika," Din responds, using the same tone as you, "means 'darling' or 'sweetheart.'" Your heart instantly swells, the air leaving your lungs almost entirely in disbelief. "I've been trying to tell you the same thing ever since our last night in the village. I think it's no secret that I'm not eloquent with words, so I resorted to using that." Din pauses, taking his hand off of your cheek and removing his other hand from your grasp. He then reaches to take his gloves off, leaving just the calloused hands which remain underneath. His hands fall onto both sides of your face, and you close your eyes as you observe his warm and intimate touch. "Because you're dear to me."
You reopen your eyes, seeing blurriness because of your pure shock and deep feelings. All you want to do in this moment is kiss him with all the passion you feel in your heart, but you know that you can't, and so you instead opt for another way. You use one of your hands to press one of his further towards your lips, giving his palm the most tender of kisses. Your hand that's still over Din's heart can sense the change in pace at your actions. You haven't realized how much you've craved this kind of affection and intimacy in your life, and you know it's the same for Din. Your heart swells at the thought of you two, with such similar pasts and struggles, finally getting to experience the bliss of affection and trust with each other. "Does this mean that you... that we're..." you trail off, waiting on him to fill in your thoughts.
"Yes," Din answers with a chuckle at your bashfulness. He then brings one of his hands to the back of your head, beckoning you towards his chest. "Come here, cyar'ika."
You do as he says, resting your head against his heated chest. Your arms wrap around his strong torso as his pull you in close to him. You reach your lips out to give his chest a small kiss, closing your eyes as you absorb the feeling of such life in him. Din's helmet comes down to rest against your head. No words have to be spoken in this moment, since your actions say it all. You can feel your heart practically soaring above to the Maker, and you swear you've never felt so comfortable, safe, and happy in your life. Eventually, though, you begin to think rationally, and find that you can't sit in this spot forever. "Your cuirass, Din," you remind him softly. "It has to be cleaned."
"We can take care of that later," Din assures you. "Why don't we just go rest now, together? I sure as hell need it, and I can believe that you barely got any sleep last night."
You nod to agree, chuckling a bit as you lift your head from Din's chest. He pulls his shirt back down and stands up, helping you up as well. He leaves the cuirass and medical supplies where they lay, leading you into your room and allowing you to get onto the cot first. He follows, and—differently from any other time you've shared this cot—he takes you into his arms, letting you bury your face in his chest as you relax into him. You finally feel all of the worries, horrors, and guilt leave you as you rest in his arms, not even getting the chance to bid him goodnight before you fall asleep. •••