Mine {Book 1}| Completed

Chapter 15: Thanksgiving

Chapter 15: Thanksgiving

I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna worry. I'm not gonna try to be someone I'm not. I'm not gonna ruin a great day. I'm not gonna feel bad. I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't bother me. And I can't hold the tears back. But now I'm just gonna put a smile on my face. And to pretend nothing bothers me...

The thoughts were in my head. Everything was haywire.

I struggled while putting makeup on my face. I couldn't handle anything that was in my head. I just wanted to cry my eyes out. And dad knew nothing for the past couple of days. He just wanted Thanksgiving to be good. And so I sat in my room struggling with my makeup terrified I ruin my mascara from crying.

I sighed, unable to do it. I don't think I can go downstairs and face everyone. I can't face Christopher due to our last conversation which was him rejecting me for sure. And ever since... he's been busy with April. And then... I was busy texting Patrick everyday until today. And once my alarm clock went off this morning I had texted him on my way into the shower, out of the shower and getting dressed, having breakfast and then brushing my teeth. And it's certain he is definitely coming.

Thanksgiving used to be the greatest holiday for me. But now it's so hard for me due to this being the first Thanksgiving that mom isn't here. And I was shaking because of it. And so, I can't face dad and Colleen's family because of this. I will breakdown. My parents being together was everything. It was my world. And now it's so hard to look down and know my mother won't be there.

My mother is over her sister's house for Thanksgiving in which Grandma will join along with the great uncles and aunts and cousins over at Aunt Maggie's house. And while I sit here thinking of it... I should be with mom.

I had my mascara on but it was faded. And I fixed it. And then I had just tried my best not to worry of a thing. I wanted to cry. But dad said he wanted it to be a great day since it's our first holiday together. Meaning with Christopher and Colleen. So this was definitely fear coming from me. I grabbed my fan, fanning myself of this anxiety take over my body. I felt like I might crumble. And I just wanted to be happy. But being happy was so hard.

      I saw Christopher this morning when I was brushing my teeth. He was being sweet and kind like nothing happened a couple days ago and like he didn't ghost me. And he said good morning to me while I just brushed my teeth and ignored him and stayed silent. But I didn't wanna talk to him. And then after I took a shower and then I came in here getting my makeup on. I'm still in my robe while my hair is up in a towel.

   I had light makeup on. And I had decided I was gonna have my hair flat ironed. Even though my hair is naturally straight. And I wanted to look my best. And I had texted Patrick most of the morning. Even when I had two cups of coffee this morning. And he told me he couldn't wait to see me. And after being in my room, I had my country music playing of Sugarland. And as I was listening... I had just took my damp hair out of the towel, and I started taking my flat iron, straightening it. I had plenty of time before everyone arrives.

     After my hair was done, I had gotten up to take my outfit I was gonna wear... it was lying out nicely on my bed. It was a dark blue dress that I picked out only because Patrick asked me to dress beautiful. And I think this is good as any. I took off my robe and put on a black thong and a strapless bra. And I took my dress putting it on with snazzy shoes. And I liked dressing up for holidays. And I also put in big loop earrings. And I was wearing my charm bracelet. And a locket. It was gold.

Putting on this dress, I felt very sexy. Which I worried that it might be too sexy. But as Mandy tells me... there's no such thing as too sexy. I wanna make April jealous. But I want Christopher to see what he's missing out on. He could have all of me... all of this... but he denies it for someone who could never love him like I do. And here, I am gonna look the greatest. And I was wearing expensive perfume. The one from the bathroom. The one Christopher let April use, I'm sure. Let me see their reaction when they smell it on me. And then I'll know they used it after having sex.

And so, I had looked just as beautiful enough. And I know Christopher might be taking his time getting ready. And I had stood at the door of my room, leaving as I closed my door quietly. I could hear noises downstairs into the kitchen. I was ready to go but just as I was passing Christopher's room, I saw his door cracked a bit and from this I saw through the mirror in his room that he was dressing nicely but he didn't have a shirt on yet. And I saw in the mirror of the nice abs he had. God, I would give anything to be his right now.

I watched him looking through his closet in distress and his drawers trying to find a specific shirt. And he seemed confused. I had rolled my eyes and then left downstairs to the kitchen to see what was going on. Colleen was in the kitchen putting the temperature on. And of course, dad settled the appetizers done on the coffee table in the sitting room. They both had their glass of wine.

"Hey Colleen." I greeted her as I hugged her.

"Hey Em. You look so beautiful. Let me guess... for Patrick?" She read my mind instantly and I smiled with a nod and we both laughed. She put down her wineglass. "You should go out with Patrick. He is such a nice guy. And I've known him since he was seven."

"I know. But I get nervous whenever he's around me. Is that insane?" I asked her.

"No, that's what love does to you. It makes you incredibly nervous. Sometimes I get nervous around your dad. Like once, we went out to this fancy restaurant and I was nervous before arriving. And there he was...looking handsome and beautiful as ever." She told me, which excited me.

"Can we talk before the guests arrive? Like just us two?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. We can talk in the family room." She said, and we both had left the kitchen and went directly into the family room, closing the French glass doors behind us.

We emerged to the couch by the window. And once we got to the couch we both sat down. I looked at how beautiful Colleen looked. Her blonde hair wavy and her lips cherry red. And she looked so beautiful I'm sure dad would be crazy not to love her. In the sitting room I could hear the TV on that dad had. And I just thought of nice today would be.

"So, what's on your mind? Something you wanna talk about?" She asked, facing me but she definitely was curious of what I had to talk to her.

"Colleen, can I trust you? I mean, anything I say to you you won't tell my dad, right? Like can it be confidential between us?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, Em. I won't tell him anything that you don't want me to."

I felt relieved and from this, I just relaxed my whole body. I had a lot to talk to her about. I would talk to my mother about every issue going on. But she's not here. And Colleen is more convenient and I trust her like a stepmom should be trusted. I looked at Colleen a bit nervous.

"So what is it?"

I sighed. "I may be crazy. But lately I was wondering... what do you know of sex? I mean, how do you know if a guy wants to have sex with you?"

Colleen was shocked. She cleared her throat.

"Why? Emma, have you and Patrick...?"

"No, it's just I'm curious. And sometimes I feel like doing it because I love them. But am I mad to be passionate about it?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, having sex is for loving the person. Even when your young. And it's a place where you feel connected to them. And I do love how a man can be passionate. But experiencing is important."

Colleen knew how to make me understand it. And I just had curiosity. What if I had sex with Patrick? Would it be crazy? Or insane? Would dad be angry? Regardless of how overprotective he is. It still drives me insane of what guy I want. And I don't know how Colleen can just place in a good marriage when she lost a husband six years earlier. But I know she does love my father.

   "What do you do when a guy may not love you as he says he does? Or what do you do when a guy says he loves you and then he rejects you and calls it a mistake? Even after he kissed you. And how do you get over a guy you can't have?" I said.

  "Emma..." she wrapped her arm around me, feeling sorry for me as I had a crack in my voice. "Sometimes they are not meant to be. He can be indecisive. Or he's just in denial. Or afraid he may hurt you. Or he really isn't the guy for you."

     What Colleen was saying made sense. But he is for me. Christopher and I had a connection. And it was beautiful. He made me feel like I could be myself. I was able to let go of my worries. He was mine for that brief moment until he had avoided anything to do with what we had. He called it a mistake. And it breaks my heart to know.

    The room dropped to silence.

   "Colleen, when my dad asked you to marry him...were you worried?" I asked.

   She gulped. "Yeah, I was petrified. I didn't say yes to him right away. I found it difficult if I was ready to be in love again. I still hadn't been over my late husband from six years of his passing. But I knew I deserved to be happy. And I truly love your father. So...when he asked me I couldn't answer. I returned my answer in a few days after thinking and then... I went to the same restaurant with him and in his champagne glass poured out a note floating that said yes to him."

     That was something romantic that my father would do.

   "Do you ever worry that he still loves my mother?" I asked.

   "Actually I have plenty of times. If you think your dad and I don't argue...then you got something to learn. We argue a lot. And it's sometimes about trust issues. And we disagree about it in our bedroom. And how your dad moved on from your mother to me... I sometimes wonder if he is over her. But he says that he loves Rachel...your mom I mean. But his heart is to me. But he claims his love for your mother it isn't the same. And I'm so sorry about your parents split. It couldn't have been easy to go through." She said.

    It made me only wonder is that Colleen cares. My mom and her haven't associated. Not once. I think my mother who stays away. She hasn't been to the house since she moved out. But my mother left of course. But then a week later she came back and got her things moving out. And I don't think nothing happened in my parents bedroom. They still had chemistry. Even during the divorce. And my theory is while mom was leaving... she and dad slept together. Why else would dad act like a king around the house? And all my life I've known dad he only acted like that only when he would get laid. That's how I know when Colleen and dad do it.

    Last week, dad took over the kitchen like a king. He had made avocado toast which Colleen loved. And Colleen always glows in the morning. And I think my father and Colleen sleep together every night. Colleen has been glowing very good these past few weeks...so it means good sex. And Christopher has had it too. Good sex.

"Even when my dad has you by his side as his wife you still have trust issues?" I asked.

"Emma, wether if your married, dating or engaged...there's always something. And your dad and I have our differences at times. But no matter what... I still love your father." She said.

My heart stopped.

"I'm glad you make my dad happy. And he deserves it. After all, he took the divorce quite well. But I could see it was destroying him. When mom left he was mute for weeks." I explained.

   "So I assumed." She agreed.

        And I only thought of how much I wanna just love someone terribly but I can't only because the one I want doesn't want me. But I have this dress on that is extremely sexy and I want this sexiness to be seen by Christopher so he knows exactly what he is missing.

   "Colleen, do you believe Christopher loves Gina still?" I asked out of curiosity.

    "I think he will always love Gina. She was his first love. And the way it all ended was sad. But... I gotta say that was a time when he was innocent and young. And I cared for him since. And he hasn't been the same since his father died and then when he went to the reform school and he came back after nine months. And he was just eleven. I saw him after he was twelve and he changed completely." She said.

   "Changed how?"

   "I knew my son like the back of my hand. He came home after nine months...looking different. He was changed. And I think they changed him. Maybe brainwashed. But they changed him. And he never came back the same. And something was off. I don't know. But he was different. Not the child I remember. But one day Emma, when you have children... you will see what it's like to know your child inside out and in." She explained.

   It sounded like Christopher had attitude adjustment from being rebellious. And he also, went from that to being changed by the school. Maybe it was brainwash. But what happened there? Was there black magic? Voodoo? Wicca? Or was it manipulating the mind of un-disobedient kids?

   "Colleen, of course he was changed. He was a kid dealing with the loss of his father. And I can't imagine what he might have gone through." I said and then we both embraced.

     We both remained silent in our embrace. We were unable to express how this would be. I would be spending Thanksgiving here for my first year without my mother. And I'm spending it with dad and Colleen's family. So this is definitely a change. But I'll have Patrick here. And I can't imagine not having him by my side.

     I felt a draft enter, turning from Colleen to see Christopher who was nearly fuming. I'm guessing he heard our conversation. Gee, why does he happen to walk in on people during private conversations?

   "What are you doing? Why do you always put your noise into my life?" He spoke so briefly looking at me like I was a target.

   He's looking sexy again...

   "I'm sorry, Christopher. Please don't be mad at your mother. I was the one asking questions." I said, confessing everything out.

   He scoffed with his arms crossed. "I'm so sick and tired of you doing stupid things. You go and take and get whatever you want. Your taking my best friend from me. Your dragging a wedge between us. How could you?"

   I wanted to slap him right there and now. But when I stood up, I noticed his eyes glued onto me. He stared me up and down. And I knew my plan had partly worked.

   "Christopher," I began. "I only asked your mother 'cause you won't tell me anything. I'm your sister. And I try getting to know you since you moved in the weeks ago but you just won't open to me." I explained.

    Colleen stood up and took it like we were arguing like real blood brother and sister. And she seemed shocked by this.

   "This is complete bullshit." He said to me.

    Colleen clapped her hands together once and snapped. "CHRISTOPHER! That is quite enough young man."

    He backed down the second she spoke up in my defense.

   "I'm not a child to be scolded, mother." He said out of no guilt, he just spoke what he felt and didn't care.

I stared at him in disgust for acting this way. And I couldn't believe it for a second this is how he treated his mother. But I thought was... if his father saw this he would be so upset.

"Christopher, don't talk to your mother like that. How could you be so cold and selfish? What if your dad was here...he would be very disappointed on how your treating your mother." I scolded him myself with my words taking over.

He was fuming.

"Fuck you, Emma. You didn't know my father. You don't know anything. Your just lonely 'cause your own mother walked out on you. So your taking my mother..." he said.

What he said made me wanna cry forever and never stop. I felt tears nearly falling down. And I just couldn't believe he would say that to me. I frowned in sadness to him. I bit my lip forcing myself not to cry. I rubbed my lips together and tried everything to stay positive right now.

"CHRISTOPHER MALCOM GREYSON!" She scolded him for sure. "Don't do this. Watch your language. I don't want fighting. But she is right, Chris. If your dad could see you now... I know that he would be very disappointed in you."

Christopher froze. And he looked like he could barely speak at all. He was speechless more than anything. I wanted to hug him and tell him it's alright. But before anything he just looked angry in spite it all.

"Christopher..."

"Don't ever...say what you mean." He muttered and before anything he stride away.

I wanted to chase after him but Colleen told me to let him cool off. And so I did even though I felt sorry. Why do I feel so guilty? And so I had stared at the French doors that were open and I watched Christopher a second ago walking through the doors. And I can imagine him crying. Crying to a point he misses his father like how I miss my mother but in his case, his father is dead unlike my mother. And I cried for him. But how am I not to? I cared so deeply about him. I shouldn't have mentioned his father to him.

Once I had helped Colleen in the kitchen putting down some of the plates on the dining room table in which dad was so busy trying to just make sure the candle was lit that was of pumpkin spice and also apple cinnamon. And since I helped Colleen timing the turkey the second dad was just happy to see his two amazing girls.

"It's so so so nice to see my two beautiful girls." Dad giggled, once walking into the kitchen while Colleen sorted the silverware nicely.

   "Alright, Mister Fancy James...are you gonna help? Your mother will be here soon. So go take out the wine glasses." Colleen scolded him, in which dad laughed at how bossy she was.

"I know babe." Dad smiled. "My mother won't be here until a quarter after."

"Go to the wine cellar and get the wines that you are crazy about, dear." She said.

   "Babe, you are so bossy." He scoffed, and with a smile, he had gone to the basement and in sixty seconds he had run back up with the bottles Colleen requested.

     Dad had the screw to when he would open up the cork. And dad was smiling. Yep he was glowing. My dad definitely had gotten laid this morning. I could tell when we were at breakfast. Having Advocate toast, bacon and eggs. Yeah, he was in the most romantic mood while cooking with Colleen. Which he used to do with mom. The same kind of laughter and joy.

   "Hey what was the commotion I heard in the family room?" Dad asked, unscrewing the cork to the Pink Flamingo wine bottle.

Colleen had helped with the other eight bottles, placing them neatly. I watched her rub dad's forearm. There was tension going on. But I was fixing the plates in the dining room.

"That was your stepson." Colleen replied.

   "What happened?"

   "I told you before. He just needs to adjust from his rebellious behavior. I mean, he is my son. I know how to handle him." I heard Colleen say while I finished straightening the cloth on the dining table.

  "Well honey, when I seventeen I did worse. At least he's not getting high." He laughed as if it would be funny to think he would.

   Colleen laughed with him about it after nudging him. "Look, I was wondering if maybe you could talk to him. I mean, you have good influence. Like a father figure. He needs a man to talk to. And I think your the one to do it."

     I was not meaning to hear this. But I heard dad sigh of feeling very anxious about it. Christopher never looked up to dad like a father. And I don't think my dad would be the influence. And I just don't think it would do Christopher any good. But Colleen actually thinks he has good influence.

"Col, I don't think I'm a father figure at all. He's seventeen. And I was rebellious when I was his age. It's just... who he is. And there's nothing I can say." Dad said.

"I think you can. You put your foot down. Your strict with the kids curfew. So... I definitely think you should talk to him. Like try to talk to him as a friend. And just try to get to him. I did it with Emma before the wedding. So maybe you can do it too." Colleen said with concern in her voice.

"I did talk to him...before the wedding as well. I couldn't get through to him. If you ask me... I think he's afraid of me." Dad said, which I giggled quietly that he thought that.

"Dear, I highly doubt he is. Just talk to him. Please. Just do it for me." She begged him.

I heard dad agree to it and after dad sung a funny silly tone to the soft metallic song was playing through the house he had then left the kitchen, disappearing.

~

C H R I S T O P H E R: 🥀

I stayed in my room, sulking. But I felt like shit right now. What am I doing to myself? And I just felt like I shouldn't face her. I hurt her so much that everything she said and has...was true. I had fucked up. I sometimes look at Emma and she is all I want sometimes. But when April and I started dating she made me promise to never break her heart. And when I kissed Emma that day that's exactly what I did. And I feel so sorry for it.

I kissed Emma because she made me feel like I needed to. And I never meant to lead Emma on. And she has every right to be angry. I fucked with her feelings. But I'm with April. And I love her. But it's funny because another part of me was telling me it's Emma that I love. But I can't love her when she's my stepsister. And if April found out about what I did...she'd be so angry. But possessive. And it's bad enough she feels threatened by Emma because she is beautiful. And just some moments ago when I heard mom and Emma talking about me. It hurt me. And I think Emma did that only because she was getting back at me.

When Emma looked at me she looked like she just wanted to melt in me. I saw how much she does care about me. And she definitely is in love with me. And when she mentioned my father to me I knew she was right and it made me breakdown. But I was angry how mom was talking to her about that stupid reformed school she sent me to. That place I put in my past and I have forgotten. And what happened there... I wish to forget forever. And so I have.

I had texted April and she said she'd be over soon. And I definitely couldn't wait to see her. I need to get my mind off of Emma. After seeing her downstairs like that in that short dress I wanted to do nothing but tear it off her. Even if I wanted to I wouldn't. Im dating April and I wouldn't do anything to hurt her when I vowed not to. But I did when I kissed Emma. And sometimes I worry that Emma might snitch and tell April what happened. But is Emma that cruel to do that?

I couldn't help but just wish to forget about what me and Emma did. But I don't wanna see her with Patrick. As a matter of fact I don't want to see her with anybody else. But I'm having mixed feelings of wanting to be with her but I can't when my destiny is to be with April.

A text message came through on my phone and I jumped seeing it was from April.

TEXT FROM APRIL ❤️:
I can't wait to see you baby 💕
I'm dressing up very sexy for you
I can't wait to see you 💋

I smiled as I saw the text. I sent her a bunch of heart emoji's. And I had just got up and opened my closet trying to find this sweater that I wanted to wear. I usually wear it as comfort. But somehow it's not here. I think mom might have put it in a laundry hamper or misplaced it. And so I had some of my thoughts just on a lot right now. And I was not ready to face Patrick today that he is going to be here with my stepsister. Does Emma know what she's getting herself into?

I sat on the end of my bed and I heard my door getting scratched at. I opened it seeing Wanda, the Siamese cat that is distant but she's loyal and beautiful. She jumped onto my bed and lied there. I chuckled at her and then I closed my door, staying stuck in my thoughts.

I could hear the music running through the house. And I heard loud talking from downstairs. And then I just sat by Wanda on my bed just listening. But I was gonna wait for April to get here.

But then there was a knock at my door. "Christopher?" I heard Edward say on the other side. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." I replied.

And my door opened and there I saw my stepfather that I have nothing in common with and he couldn't possibly ever have anything positive to say to me. And I just wasn't feeling up to speak about anything negative he would say to me.

He sat down in the chair across from me.

"Is it alright if we talked? As friends if that's alright?" He said.

"Okay." I nodded. "What do you wanna talk about?"

He cleared his throat. "Well, your mother told me what happened. And I had been persuaded to talk to you. But... I think there's some things we need to talk about."

"Okay..." I breathed.

"Is there something on your mind? Your mom thinks your distant. And I think she's quite worried about you. And if I had a son I would be worried about him too being distant. And in this room...you can say anything. No judgment." He said.

     Edward has a funny taste in things. When mom and Edward told Emma and me they were getting married I honestly lost faith. But when they got married I was asked a month prior to the wedding by Edward to be a groomsman. Which mom insisted. And during the day of the wedding Edward told me that he was proud to be my mother's happiness. But little did he know my mother's happiness was with my father. But then I realized I want my mother to be happy. She was unhappy for six years. And now since she and Edward been married she has definite happiness. And that's what I want to see.

      Sometimes I swear that Edward can read my mind and see right through me. And I am standoffish because of his mind tricks. But Emma worships this man. Her father is a manipulator. But it's hard to say that Emma is a daddy's girl.

    Edward is staring at me like he had some judgement scenario face expression going on. And it definitely shocked me that I had to see this guy stare at me like I was his child. He's only married to my mom. What is mom so worried about? Because I keep to myself? And I got no idea why this man is any business to do with him. But I promised mom when she got married I would respect Edward under his roof. And so I have.

   "Just because I keep to myself?" I said it like it was a statement.

    "I guess. But it's not just you being distant. You seem to be...a bit repetitive. Is there anything going on? Is it your girlfriend?" He asked.

   I wanted to laugh.

    "No, I'm fine...we're fine. And I think I'm okay. Mom doesn't need to worry. I'm fine." I said.

     The room went quiet and the only sound I heard was downstairs that sounded like Emma's laughter.

   "Look, I will say if your worried about anything..."

     Did he have to ask? Has he not figured it out yet?

   "Is it your father?" He asked, and then I sighed, realizing how he knew. It's because he can read my mind, I guarantee it.

   "Yes." I whispered, trying not to get emotional.

    He closed his eyes for a moment feeling awful. "It must be hard for you. And I lost someone when I was young. I had a younger brother. His name was Freddie. And we were closer than the water and the waves. And I always looked out for him. I took care him. He was my little brother." He said, and sighed after.

    I am actually glad to hear this. I can know Edward a bit more.

    "What happened?"

    "He...um...he died. He was just ten." He shut his eyes trying not to cry I could see. "The kid had epilepsy. And one day we were walking on the pier after going to a fare. It was in late Autumn and then he tripped over a ledge and I thought he was playing around to scare me like he usually did. And then... I saw him struggling. It was almost like seizure. But it wasn't. And I was just fourteen trying to save him and I held him for that longest time as he struggled for life and then...he just died in my arms."

     How was I not to feel for him? And I gazed at him in guilt. I couldn't believe this happened to him.

    He sniffled. "And ever since that day... I decided that I wanted to be a surgeon. I couldn't save my brother but I can save other lives worth millions. And I just learned that I care about others...but if I didn't take the career I wouldn't have met Emma's mother and I wouldn't have had Emma. And I'm blessed to have her as my daughter. No regrets at all." He said.

   "How'd you meet Miss Grant?" I asked.

   He smiled.

      "It was at the hospital. Her father was sick but he needed a liver transplant and I was his surgeon. And then I met his daughter. And she was...beautiful. And I found her to be the most amazing woman I had ever known. She made me love her from the start." He chuckled a bit and he looked down and I smiled only thinking of it.

   "April makes me feel the same." I commented.

   "You love her, don't you?" He gazed at me with his eyes shooting at me and his facial expressions reminded me of Emma. Especially when Emma is curious or upset... he reminds me of her.

   I nodded. "I never thought I could be happy but April made me happy. Like how you make my mother happy."

      I hadn't known what was to come and go of me. I have a stepdad who is strict. He seems worried of if I'm out late getting drunk and here he is... just smiling at how I mentioned about him making my mother happy.

   "Yes." He nodded. "But Christopher, how often do you have sex with April?"

     I froze to be shocked and I laughed nervously. I didn't like to share my sex life with anybody. I did tell Ty when I first had sex with Gina. And that was it. I don't usually talk about what goes on in the bedroom with my libido.

   I was speechless right now. He was patient trying to wait for what I would say.

   "I guess it's not an obvious response." I muttered.

    "So a lot then? You do know I care about you. And I worry. So... what I mean to ask is... are you and April safe?" He asked.

   Of course I am.

   "Yeah, we're being safe. I'm very careful." I replied.

   "I'm just worried. After my years of being married I didn't wanna have a child when I did. I wanted to wait many years down the line. But Rachel and I were using protection and all but we just didn't think of it 'cause we were married and then one morning I find Rachel every morning vomiting. And after she ate she was getting sick. And then she comes to me and tells me she was pregnant. I was stunned. But having Emma was only great news. And Rachel and I never regretted having her. But if there were regrets...it was getting married." He said.

     I knew that had to be true. Edward is telling me all this so I can open up to him. I can read him too it seems.

   "Then why did you marry her?" I asked.

     He smiled, giving me a strange look. "Because she was gorgeous."

     I chuckled and for the first time I got along and agreed with him.

    "Rachel an amazing woman. And she still is. And we were in love. I still love her. But she wanted to close the chapter on us. I mean we were young when we got married. And since being with your mother...it's made me see things better. I can be happy." He said.

    "Does it make us all happy?" I leaned forward.

   "As well as it can, Christopher." He replied.

        He clapped his hands together and then we heard the doorbell ring.

    He put a grin on his face. "I suppose that's our call."

   "Okay." I nodded.

       Once Edward left, I had come across Wanda who was lying on my bed being cozy and lazy. I smiled back at her and then I left my room, trying to be confident this time to go downstairs with Edward to those greeted guests arriving. Emma and my mother had let them in. It was Edward's parents, Emma's grandparents. The Grandmother who doesn't support Edward and my mother's marriage. But I guess things are quite different.

    She was actually in a happy mood. And she was definitely smiling once she entered in the house. Emma and Colleen gave her a hug over a hundred times. And then Edward hugged his mother like it had been a hundred years. And then I watched Emma hug her Grandfather. I will say the James family isn't big since Edward doesn't have any other siblings except his brother that died.

   "Oh, there's the young angelic face." Barbara said to Edward, her son.

And then I just had just stared at everyone, observing. And I watched Emma smile which of course was interesting to me. I noticed she was deliberately ignoring me. She wouldn't even look at me. I'm looking at her how I saw her at the wedding. She was sexy. And I got possessive of Ty who called her beautiful. I think Emma is beautiful but we can't be together. That's why I have rejected her. Our parents wouldn't accept it. And that's why I'm going to stay with April. But I do love April. She is everything I want. She makes me smile, except for when we're arguing.

       I think it's funny how Emma dressed today. Was it for me or was it for Patrick? And she definitely was trying to prove me a point. She was trying to make me jealous of her and Patrick. Why can't she understand that I made a big mistake by kissing her and that I'm in love with April? I'm dating a girl that I love. When I kissed Emma I wasn't thinking. And I never meant do it. But it doesn't mean I don't have feelings for Emma. 'Cause I do... but no no I can't because she's my stepsister. We're family. And I'm with April and I'm glad to be with her. And I don't know how I can take Patrick, a player, to be around Emma. She has no idea what she's getting herself into.

   And showing up at the door happened to be Patrick.

     While everyone else had gathered in the kitchen or in the sitting room to mingle, I watched Emma hold Patrick's hand.

   "Emma, you look amazing." He told her, which I hated seeing him touch her.

   Damn! I hate it that I have feelings for Emma but I cant show them or be with her because she's my stepsister. And if I weren't dating April... I would be with Emma but in denial because she's my stepsister.

     "Thank you. You look incredible. And I love that your here." She said to him, and then I had turned my head away when Emma and Patrick went into an intense make out session.

   Emma is trying to make you jealous...

    "Come with me. I'll get you a drink." Emma said and then she had quickly flee with Patrick directly to the kitchen passing by me.

      Does Emma not know how hard it is to love someone but you are forbidden to love them because it would ruin things. If Emma and I got together it would be a sin to our parents. My mom and Edward would be angry at it. Emma is my stepsister and they'd never give us their blessing. That's why I'm rejecting her. So that we won't have to go through that. I may have hurt her when I rejected her... but she doesn't know it hurt me too that I rejected her and called it a mistake.

It was a mistake because I'm dating April and I hurt my girlfriend behind her back and since she is threatened by Emma as it is...it hurts me that I cheated on April. I never wanted that. And I can't believe what I have done. And sometimes April catches me dozing off when I'm in thought about it. And she claims that I'm distant. But I am trying to be the best boyfriend. And I just focus on April because I can't be with Emma. She's my stepsister and I never would destroy our family like that.

I couldn't comprehend about anything. And I just thought of being in the kitchen to just see what my mother wanted to do for the time.

"Christopher, you look handsome." My mother cried happily with her hand on her heart.

With my own judgment I just felt embarrassed already. Thank god April wasn't around. But my mother started to stroke my hair and she was just fussing with me. I tried taking her hands down from messing with my hair.

"Mom, please don't." I backed up.

"I'm so sorry honey. You just look so handsome. You look just like your dad." I saw tears in her eyes.

I growled softly not wanting to hear about my father. My dad loved Thanksgiving. It was his favorite holiday. Because like I like, he loved spending time with family and friends. And in which, I didn't even call Grandma Crystal Greyson. Every holiday I call her. But I haven't even thought of it.

"Mom!" I snapped.

  "I'm sorry honey. I just get too carried away." She said.

     It is funny how she reacts sometimes. But of course, my mom was probably the most logic person in the room. And I definitely enjoyed seeing her happy with my now stepdad and I'm still not fully used to them. And just in moments I got a text from April that made me get excited as anything.

                 TEXT FROM APRIL ❤️:
                 I'm here baby! I can't wait to
                               See u! 💋💋

     I was going to reply back but then I decided to head for the basement and go through the garage to find her in her car and that's when I just saw her getting out and she put her hands around me, pulling me in for a hug. I decided to lift her up in my arms, pinning her back against her car. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I had smiled at her but to attack my lips to hers. And I went crazy unable to stop kissing her. And she was moaning from the kiss. And right now I just wanted to take her right here right now.

     "Babe, I am so glad to be here. But as a treat. I got this lemon pie...as a treatise for you and your family." April said to me, I laughed, because I didn't expect this.

   "Ape, you didn't-"

  "Yes, I did. My sisters are natural bakers and love pies. So they made it. I hope it's okay I brought it." She said, and her blue eyes gazing to me.

   "Yes, Ape. I love it." I sighed.

And just as I had pulled her in for the craziness hug that was aggressive, she giggled and I kissed her gently. And she pulled me in roughly.

"I think we should go in." She pulled from the kiss.

And with little said, we headed in towards the garage into the basement and I closed the door behind us. And then the thought crossed my mind when just yesterday April and I had sex on the sofa. The same one I kissed Emma on. And I lose control of myself sometimes.

"What do you say? We have a half an hour until my family arrives..." I said, pulling her in by the hips, kissing her.

She was shocked.

"Babe, what if your stepdad or your mom comes down? We'll get caught." She turned from my embrace.

"No, my stepdad hardly ever comes down here. He only comes down here for wine. And he brought it up earlier. And my mom knows I like respect if I'm down here. Besides, we'll be very quick." I said.

She pushed me back before I could kiss her.

"And your stepsister?"

"No. Emma doesn't like it down here. Besides Patrick is upstairs so I don't think she'll be coming down. All we have to do is be quiet and be quick." I said, as I kissed her. "We did it quick at your house."

"We were in the shower. Not in the basement." She rolled her eyes.

I was getting so frustrated right now. I rolled my eyes. But she really hates taking risks.

"If your not gonna pleasure me then I'm just gonna have to pleasure myself." I said, about to walk away.

"Fine, baby. I'm sorry. But it has to be quick." She said softly.

And she yelped when I pushed her down onto the sofa and then I hovered over her to put my hand over her mouth and I kissed her to keep her quiet. And I will say it didn't take long for us to remove our clothes. And I remember I was coming instantly from being so hard. She took it cowgirl which I didn't mind and it lasted longer than I thought.

~

                              E M M A: 🌹

     I had brought a drink over to Patrick and I gotta say he just looked fabulous. Patrick even had a nice smell to him. And I definitely started getting used to Patrick being around a lot. And so did dad. We sat in the sitting room and they had a conversation of old music to Royal Philharmonic and Beethoven. Which I liked. Colleen was actually getting along well with Grandma, which is definitely unexpected. And so I had decided I would enjoy my time here.

I was actually very glad that Patrick came here. I mean I did invite him. And I was just sitting down in the sitting room just beyond focused on dad and Patrick talking. And I know dad might be a little edgy or worried something in the future will go on with Patrick and me. And since I am a daddy's girl he will make sure to get through to anyone that will become my boyfriend. And if I date Patrick, I want us to be as any regular couple. And I am sixteen and I definitely deserve a boyfriend something Christopher can't understand.

     The entire time I was watching dad and Patrick talking. And I just watched them being like friends. And I definitely liked seeing it. The room was filled with talking. And I sat there on the sofa, taking Patrick's hand. And I think he stayed silent because I grabbed his hand like there was more going on with us.

     Since the day Patrick and I almost had sex, I have played it in my mind. I played it over and over again. And I just wanted to think of Patrick with no clothes on. And I was only pictured of us being together. I wanted to imagine Patrick kissing me every second and it would drive me insane. I wanted to kiss him right now that's how insane it was. And I wanted to pleasure him. And I had stared at Patrick, just wanting him...right now.

Grandma liked Patrick as she told me that he was nice to be and I only wished and wanted to kiss Patrick more. And I had given a grape to Patrick in which he smiled being thankful for it and we both really enjoyed the company.

I had taken Patrick to family room, leaving the French doors open and I wanted to show him the glass table where pictures were. A line of pictures and also our piano was next to it. This piano has been around since my parents got engaged. And with that, I had shown him the family room that is right by the dining room. The family room was our relaxing room. And the piano was white and it had a vase of yellow roses. And there were two couches. And even a coffee table.

On the glass table where the picture frames were...mom's face used to be but after she moved out it's been everyone but her face. It has a frame of Grandma when she was twenty five. And a frame of dad when he was young. And a frame of me when I was nine years old.

"Is your house anything decent like this?" I asked with the brightest smile.

"It's decent and spotless. But my dad drinks so sometimes collect the beer cans. But yeah, I like I like your house. But this room it's nice. It's like a good place to be when you wanna forget the world." He had a smile on his face, and his eyes looking at every direction.

I flushed and then I saw him make his way over to the piano the keys were definitely in tune. Dad usually dusts it every week as possible. He tries his best to keep it in good condition. It's been around for nineteen years.

"Do you play?" I sighed.

"No, but Chris does. When we were kids we used to sneak into this church and the old woman there ran this choir and taught Christopher. And he learned to play fast. And he still does. I used to watch him play. You should ask him." He chuckled nicely.

I tried picturing Christopher playing this piano. But I pictured the child of Christopher to be playing a piano of perfect pretty keys. And I wondered what he was like then. And I smiled at the piano, turning to the piano. I grimaced and I sat down at the piano to only start playing with the keys myself. I learned from my Grandma so I'm practically a natural.

Once I allowed a song to break through, Patrick stood there, admired. A smile came across from his face of sudden surprise. And the music definitely came from Bach and the music was calm, peaceful, chill, relaxing and beautiful. I let my myself feel comfortable with the piano that was definitely grateful to be here. I usually play Christmas songs with this piano.

      And I just loved staring at the keys but I had looked up at Patrick quite a few times. And I have never been more grateful. And I just looked at him while the music went on. And the song had a beautiful familiarity to it that I think Patrick might have recognized.

      He stood by the piano and definitely liked every key note that came out of it. I smiled at him, imagining what could be going on in his brain of this. And I likely was blessed with the music. I'm grateful dad had this. But it only survived this house through the baggage in the house during mom and dad's fights, the slamming doors the breaking of glass and even cabinets and drawers and also pots and pans being thrown. Even a vase that my Grandma got for mom and dad as a wedding gift and it was broken during one fight. A fight I could never forget.

   "Emma, are you okay?" Patrick said, interrupting my painful memories in thought.

      Why did I have to remember any of that just now? But still...this piano had done so much and it was indeed a great piece. This piano has been around in this house for nineteen years. And I loved the sounds it made. Patrick day by me, seeing I was still able to play even though I looked like my mind was somewhere else.

     I felt a tear walk down my face, which I panicked because I didn't want Patrick to see. He took my hands from the keys and closed the keys up and I faced him.

   "What is wrong? You play beautifully?" He asked with concern.

    I stared into his green orbs that were definitely beautiful. And I stared for a moment until I faced my body to look at him face to face.

   "It's not the piano or my playing that is the problem, Patrick. It's just..." I hesitated then breathed. "It's just not the same playing it and having it in this house. Or even celebrating a holiday at all when my mom isn't here with me. Or that my parents are not together."

    He wrapped his arm around me, holding me close to him.

   "It's not your fault they split up. I mean, my parents split too. My mom left and she hadn't seen us since she walked out when I was nine. And do you know who helped me get through it?" He said, his voice so close to my ear I felt his breathing.

Christopher...

   "Who?" I acted dumb.

  "Christopher." He admitted. "And even so, my dad started to drink. Him and his whiskey and beer it used to drive us crazy. My sister and I went through hell of missing our mother. Our dad used to sail on her all time. He never used to touch us. But sometimes...when he's drunk... he loses it. And he used to hit me like a piñata. And I dealt with it because I had to. To protect my sister... and I did it all for her. And when my mom moved out.... I never felt more alone."

I cried just as harder hearing this. I can only see why when Christopher beat him that time it didn't bother him because he was used to it. And I am surprised by it. But then another thought came through.

"Did Christopher know about your dad?"

"He acts like he knows nothing. But I am not stupid. I know he knows. Plus, my sister had this biggest crush on Christopher so I wouldn't be surprised if she had told him. And I try to avoid it as possible." He said.

I wiped a tear off. "I'm sorry about what your dad did. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Em. It's not anyone's. He made decisions to beat my mom all through my childhood that she left. And then leaving me to get beaten myself which I've gotten used to." He explained.

"All he does is drink and makes you feel the hurt. How could your mother leave you like that?" I said with a soft voice, nearly ready to cry.

He looked at me and wiped my tear away with his finger. And the look on his face made him not worry a bit about himself. I wanted to know how long it had lasted.

"How long has he been hitting you?" I sobbed.

"Since I ten. And I did it all for my sister." He replied.

"How old is your sister?" I asked, wiping my face dry from the tears.

"She's fifteen. She'll be sixteen in February."

And I only thought of Patrick having to go through so much. And then I had lifted the cover back up, deciding to play the piano again.

"Let's think of something nice." I nudged at him.

The piano came back to life as I started playing a song of Beethoven that wasn't good from my playing but I tried my best not to worry. I played it as good as I would play any song on this piano. And every note I liked was definitely beautiful and magical.

"It's beautiful." He whispered. "Like you."

And then I turned my head to look at him and I began to stop playing and once his lips pressed to mine, I had lost focus all the way. And I started to just slide my hands up his sides to his shoulders. He lifted my face up, cupping my cheek in his hand while he kissed me slowly. Even though I wanted it much faster. And every time we kiss, I feel ready to burst. And I keep my hands hooked around his shoulders while he kisses me. And I just can't think of anything else but his lips to mine.

While in the midst of kissing, I hear someone clear their throat and we both stop to only find Christopher there.

While seeing him there, we straightened up and of course, Christopher looked annoyed. But he still looked sexy to me. And he was beautiful as a Greek God. And all morning he's been a complete asshole. But right now I gotta just take it for whatever it is. But what's on his mind to be annoyed?

He rolled his eyes being annoyed with us for...kissing, I guess. I just saw the look he always gives me when he's fed up. And this was definitely it. He stared between Patrick and I. And I wasn't sure what was going to be done or said.

"What is it, Christopher?" I was annoyed of him just as he was annoyed.

I stared him up and down which Patrick didn't notice. And I had just looked at Christopher's hair styled to perfection and his eyes still beautiful. And he was wearing a cardigan sweater with khakis. And he looked so sexy I could kiss him in front of Patrick and not care. But I wouldn't if he offered because I'm mad at him still. I'm a big mistake to him so forget it all.

He is just staring at us like he was ready to judge. Or had to say something very important but wasn't sure how to say it or he was afraid to say it.

"Is there something the matter?" Patrick asked.

His face came to living without the confused or worried expression on his face where he stared like a zombie.

"Yes, actually there is." He walked in and instantly his gaze burned to me. "I wanna know what are your intentions with my sister..." he looked at Patrick in envy.

Patrick cleared his throat. "Um... I don't understand."

I rolled my eyes at Christopher for being an asshole still. I don't quite understand what is wrong with him? Why am I not allowed to be happy? I can see right through him using my psychic powers seeing that he is definitely jealous. Does not want me dating at all? Is he blind? Or just dumb? He is dating April. We can't be together. And if so he shouldn't care if I'm dating someone else. He needs to get over it.

    "What are you getting at, Christopher?" I asked, feeling nothing but hate at him right now while he tormented me with his pissed off stare.

    "There's a lot of things. First off, why waste your time with him when he is nothing but a player? Can't you see that he is going to break your heart?" He had a tone that sounded like he was scared. The same kind when he walked in the room being speechless.

     I felt myself feel more worried about his delusional accusation.

    I stood up from the piano. "Christopher, he used to be which he gladly admitted. And the one thing you have no right is to barge in here and tell me who I can and cannot date. You just don't like seeing me happy. You just can't get over the idea that I can be happy too. You feel threatened because if I date someone you won't spend time as much and you wanna be the guy I lean into for comfort. But guess what Christopher...I don't need you! Ever!"

   He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. And he just smiled in disbelief and knew or tried acting like it is nothing.

  "Emma, Patrick isn't the right kinda guy. Okay. He's my best friend and I know him better than anyone. But more importantly just because he proved he didn't sleep with Gina doesn't mean he still wanna fuck her." Christopher spat.

    Patrick got up and was standing right next to me in which I never been so upset with Christopher in my life. Patrick was worried Christopher might do something to me. And I knew Christopher wouldn't hurt me. But then the memory of him hitting me at the gym and how he could allow him to do that.

   "Fine, Christopher. Your right about it all. I played girls. I slept with a lot of them. Okay. And yes, I did sleep with Gina. I lied only because you couldn't respect Gina from beginning. You didn't deserve her. Gina found out she had cancer and couldn't even bear the thought of having to tell you when you never were there for her. And I only was there as a friend but she was in a sad state of her cancer for so long she cried on the phone for days." He said and it all was making Christopher more upset by the harsh words. "She cried about her relationship with you. And yeah, Gina and I had slept together. We did it a few times only because she said you couldn't satisfy her anymore. And I will own up for having sex with my best friend's girlfriend. But don't forget she was my friend as much as she was yours. But she was gonna breakup with you. She was done with you."

    My jaw dropped and Christopher looked ready to bolt. But I feared he might beat him again. I wanted to push him away before anything would happen.

   "But then... I knew what I did was wrong. So I hid from the truth. And just because I'm with Emma doesn't mean I'll give her the same treatment I gave to a lot of girls I played in the past. I've changed Christopher. We both did." He said.

    I frowned in confusion.

  "Both?"

  "Oh you didn't know, Emma? Between every breakup of him and Gina. Christopher used to hookup with random girls too. He was a player as well. So we both were." Patrick said, his voice sounded frustrated.

  Christopher put his hand up. "No, you are different. You can't change. And I won't let you take the one important person away from me."

   "It's not because your being an overprotective brother, is it? It's because your plans are wanting to fuck Emma. Your own sister...you wish you could be the one to fuck her brains out." Patrick got closer to him and I knew I had to stop this.

     I stared between the two terrified that something would happen and something would go on. I was afraid to speak in case one would already due to bloody deed. I walked closer so nobody would get hurt.

   "Guys don't do this. It's a nice holiday. Please...don't." I pleaded in my low sadness voice.

   "Babe," the voice of April came into the family room.

     April had grabbed Christopher's hand and I noticed April staring at me in jealousy. She clung onto her man like she was afraid someone else wanted him. And yes I wish Christopher and I could be together but I can't be with him. He's with April. The girl who is jealous of me. So why bother? And I rather have Patrick because he won't dump me or play with my heart.

    "Come with me. Let's have some apple cider." April pulled him away and in which his agitated face turned to a smile, walking away with her into the kitchen.

     I was able to breathe. And so was Patrick. He turned to me and I hugged him tightly. And I cared about Christopher but he wouldn't let me. But right now my main concern was Patrick. I worried for him of how everything felt to him. And I'm not mad that Patrick did what he did. It's in the past and he was ashamed of what he did. And I feel sorry for him.

   "Are you okay, Pat?" I held him close.

   "I'm always okay, Em. Always." He mumbled.

~

The rest of the bunch did eventually arrive. It was the North's. Colleen's parents and her sister, Kathleen, her husband and kids. The ones I remember from the wedding which wasn't that long ago. And we were all gathered together on Thanksgiving. And I definitely enjoyed it completely. As I looked over seeing Christopher introducing his Grandma to April I had turned away trying to hold my jealousy. And since earlier, April and Christopher have done nothing but make out the entire time.

I had helped Colleen with the food only because I know she would want the help. Dad had pulled out the camera a few times saying the pictures will go to the holiday memory book he has started. And I actually want no part of. Colleen was more of a natural in the kitchen than anything. And while I was collecting more wine glasses, I brought them into the dining room placing them in front of every plate. I even folded the napkins perfectly. There was distant talking going on in the sitting room.

I swear I could hear Patrick talking to someone. That I think he was talking to Jenna and Hailey. Christopher's cousins who were the bridesmaids with me. And Jenna was around my age and I swear she could be flirting with Patrick. And if someone flirts with something that is mine it's insane.

Eventually I heard my phone ringing of the Lollipop song. I grabbed my phone off of the countertop in the kitchen, seeing it was mom. And it excited me.

"Mom." I answered.

"Hi, sweetheart. I'm so glad to hear your voice. How is your holiday over there?" She had a voice that was excited, and I felt the excitement with her.

"Everything's great, I think. How is it with Grandma and Aunt Maggie?" I asked bringing out my politeness.

I heard her laugh. "It's great. You'd be surprised over here. But your Grandma misses you. Maybe one day you can come for a holiday like Christmas, New Years or Easter." She said.

I thought of it. Spending it with mom would be heaven. And I thought of spending it with mom would be awfully great but not to spend it for the first year without dad and Colleen would infuriate dad. And he'd try to convince me not to go as the controlling guy he is. And I was just thinking of this while I had hid away in the family room, shutting the French doors.

As I had been alone finally I could actually breathe. And I just thought of the idea what Christmas would look like. If I spent with mom it would be divine. But how in the world would dad let me go? Maybe next Christmas he would. But for the first year he wants me to spend it with him and Colleen since we're unfortunately a family.

So now my family is suddenly huge. Since dad married Colleen it made Colleen's family part of us now. And I have not exactly like the idea of having to think of mom being pushed aside for the holidays. Maybe Easter I can spend it. But I know mom would be more interested than anything. And dad just wants the control, including the idea that maybe dad wants all of this control. Mom isn't wrong about dad. He is controlling. And wants the control. And I haven't been able to say much about it to dad how I feel because like I said he is controlling and never listens.

"Daddy would never let me go to yours for Christmas." I complained to her, the disappointment about it made me feel a bit upset about dad being controlling.

"Jesus, is that what that son of a bitch said?" She sounded beyond furious.

"Mom, it's just that he-"

"-we made an agreement." She cut me off. "Your dad is still controlling even though we're not married anymore. But I'm gonna talk to him, Emma. But...it's likely that your dad still holds the key to everything." She said.

I don't know what's worse. Dad being controlling or the idea of two people who once loved each other just become enemies to each other. And I laughed in disbelief at this because it's complete bullshit how mom is handling dad and it's bullshit how dad is being a jerk about everything.

"Mom, please don't."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, honey. It's just that..." her voice trailed off. "You know what...let's not talk about this."

I definitely agreed to this. And I had just looked at the piano while walking and pacing in the family room. I had eventually closed it. And I had then sat on the couch just trying my best to calm down of how upset mom was. And I then waited as it was silence except for people in the house talking in the background of the house. I heard from the kitchen and the sitting room, even when the family room's doors were closed.

"But are you happy having Thanksgiving with your dad?"

"Yes, it's fine. And he's perfectly fine. And I think Colleen keeps him on a good path. Like she's a good influence. Kinda like you used to do." I said.

"As long as he's happy." Her voice sounded strange to me, as if she was hurting.

"He's happy with her. Even in my imagination he's happy with you." I said.

Mom laughed and I knew that she never wanted to think of her with dad ever again. I know dad in a way still has feelings for mom. He denies it, but I know it's true. And mom says she moved on from dad the second she left. And it hurts me that she walked out like this.

"Mom, why did you have to leave us?" I quickly spat in disbelief.

"Emma, we've talked about it a million times." She quickly responded.

I sat back into the couch more.

"No, we haven't. It's the same story. And I know that's not true. You and dad argued a lot before those months came. What were you guys arguing about in the night?" I said, not feeling guilty if I said anything to offend her.

I pictured her being standoffish. And I wondered what was going on through her mind. But she was quiet while I waiting what she had to say.

"Emma, darling...you heard? You weren't sleeping?"

"No! I was in my room and I heard you guys sometimes laughing. But most times I could hear you guys yelling. Yelling like someone was being murdered. And it scared me. I was fifteen. And I was scared." I explained, and I wasn't gonna cry from memories.

"Emma, your dad and I went through so much. We were young when we got married and we went into blindly and didn't think of it. We just weren't the same anymore." She said.

     I had known that they were different from how they were. All from what I remember. And I only thought of what everything would be like if they were together.

    "I know mom. But I just miss you. It's my first Thanksgiving without you." I sobbed, trying my best not to cry.

   "I know, honey. But I promise we'll see each other very soon." She promised.

I took that for granted and I wanted to hug my mother and just wish that day could be today. And it all went going crazy inside me of how much I haven't even spent time with mom. I have neglected her in a way that I wish I never have. I was too focused on being a part of this family.

After the wedding I should have just left dad and stayed with mom. Then I wouldn't be attached to Christopher or I wouldn't have been attached to the point that I fell in love with him. Sure, I had a crush on him when we met but I got too close to him. And I fell hard for him. The feelings were so different and strange. Strange from anyone that I had met. And surely I wanted him but if I was living with mom in Los Angeles maybe I would be attracted to some other guy. And maybe I could learn of love as well with someone else. And Christopher could go on happy without us kissing where I would have made him a cheater.

I should have lived with mom instead of dad. Mom invited me to live with her so many times. And I declined every time. And it hurts me to know I did that. And I miss my mother more than anything. And I am not gonna sit here and complain.

If I stayed with mom I could have visited dad on the weekends. I could sleep over on Saturdays and Sundays. But I just can't believe I picked dad over mom. When mom and I grew so close. We been close. But then again...dad and I been close from the first moment dad held me when I was only couple minutes old. In the hospital that morning at 2:55AM he loved me that he created a beautiful bond between us. Choosing between my parents is obviously the hardest choice. I love them both since I was too young to remember anything. But here I am today remembering it all.

On my fifth birthday dad had did everything. He decorated the house and decided on the theme to be all unicorns because that's what I loved when I was small. Mom bakes the cake herself and she made it special. There's a pictures of that day... I keep them in this photo album of every birthday. And there's pictures of that day. I was wearing a pink tutu and my hair was in a party hat and I had purple fairy wings. Dad then called me his princess.

Even on my tenth birthday it was at the bowling alley. And dad took my desire to invite every friend to it. And I am practically very good at bowling that dad thought that was a great birthday party. But since my birthday is in the fall, mom called it divine. And that's why I was able to have an outdoor party.

"Look honey, I gotta go. But we'll talk real soon. I promise. Okay honey. Be strong. And I love you." She said, I stayed silent while tears fell like a river storm and I remained silent with tears and then the line ended.

Once she hung up I wanted to cry and never stop. So I remained silent. And I could hear the laughter in the house, echoing that I had immediately wiped my tears away. And I had just wish I could have the enthusiasm as everybody else was. And so I got up and I went to the doors, opening them while I entered the hall and I left through the kitchen to only join the rest.

Everyone else was laughing about conversations. And I had looked at Patrick who was definitely talking to Jenna. And she was flirting with him. Especially with the dress she was wearing. It was short and tight on her it looked. And I rolled my eyes. I cut right in between them, not caring. And since I had watched April kissing Christopher it disgusted me. And I think he was trying to make me jealous or he was proving a point to Patrick that he doesn't love me which is obviously not true. And I only know Christopher has feelings for me too. When Christopher kissed me that time, he had enjoyed it. He made it like he didn't care about April. It was as if I was all he cared about. And then after he pushes me away and tells me that he is in love with April and what we had was a mistake. And I see the way he looks at me sometimes... he definitely has feelings for me too.

   Dad was being the kindest yet here. He was laughing to whatever Grandma North had said. There was wine in all of the adults hands. And I just went close to Patrick, clung onto him like he was the boyfriend I deserved and he was. I had moved my hand from his waist down to his leg to his knee but upper to his thigh, just holding there. And I saw Christopher watching. Jealousy read across his face. And I actually didn't care.

      I held onto Patrick by leaning into him. My legs crossed and my other hand touching the tips of his fingers. And his heart had a nice rhythm I could feel it.

   "So Emma," Jenna began. "Is Patrick your boyfriend? And is Chris okay with you dating his best friend?"

   I gulped, being very shocked about her question of suspicion right there. And I had laughed uncomfortably in disbelief. Jenna stayed silent and stared at me blankly. And she was definitely confused why I had laughed.

   "No, Jenna. We're not dating. We're just really close friends right now." I admitted.

   "You two would make a great couple." Hailey intervened.

      "Thanks." I smiled, taking the great comment.

   Jenna giggled and easily said, "you two looked great at the wedding. Both flirty."

     I heard the movement of quick aggression.

   "April, I'm gonna go outside for a moment. Come with me." Christopher said, his throat clearing.

   "Okay babe." She got up following him.

         And just like that Christopher and April vanished out of the sitting room. And I knew right then and there how jealous he was. He definitely possessive right there.

If you want me Christopher...all you have to do is say I'm yours and I'll be yours.

And so I had just stayed close into the embrace of Patrick. And he was thinking exactly what I was thinking. We both interlocked our hands together and he smiled at me where I wanted to kiss Patrick but I was unable to...not in front of my dad. And then I had just decided to smile at Patrick unlike anything.

"We should talk, Em." He whispered to me and I nodded. Getting up while holding hands I excused us while dad was talking to Grandpa about football. And I don't think dad noticed while Colleen was barely drinking her wine so she wouldn't get drunk.

And so the first thing we did was head out to the patio to talk. And I felt the privacy was better. And I closed the door to the patio and then, we were alone.

"Em, do you not think that Christopher is not in love with you?" He asked.

The way he said it made him sound worried. It was like I was in competition with my stepbrother and the guy I have caught feelings with over the weeks. And I stared at Patrick is in his eyes. I can see the worry. I was still holding his hand.

"I don't think so, Patrick. It's insane. I mean he's my stepbrother. Don't be crazy." I giggled in disbelief.

"I know I may sound like I'm over exaggerating but I can see it. I read off of him. I can see through him. Since the wedding... I noticed how he looked at you. He looked at you like..."

"Like what, Pat?" I asked.

"Like he was in love with you. Crushing on you for that matter. I mean how can I compete with that? It makes me jealous. Wondering if you like him back. I mean you'd tell me if you did, right?" He said.

It hurt me so much to keep my infatuation with Christopher a secret. Of course, I want to. But if I tell him...he'd not want to be with me. Patrick is my positivity and he helps me move on from loving Christopher. I wanna love and be with someone who I can be with. Not be with someone I am forbidden to love. Not someone I am unrequited with.

"Of course. But Christopher is just controlling and overprotective. We're step-siblings. It's crazy if he liked me like that. Think about it. It's nonsense. I rather date you than anyone." I said.

He pulled me in close by he waist close to him.

"Well since you said that... I actually was going to ask you later...but now is perfect than anytime." He said in his quiet gentle voice, he pulled me close to him his voice was in a whisper.

He grinned at me while I waited patiently to what he was going to ask me and I had a feeling of what it was.

"Emma..." he began, taking both of my hands and I gave him good eye contact seeing his beautiful green eyes. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

The way he said it sound cute. And I adored it. And I couldn't even believe it. I gasped of excitement and just like that pulled out a little box that was a golden locket and I wanted to cry. He told me it was his gift.

"Yes, of course." I pulled him in to kiss him. And I kissed him fast which is how I like it. I kissed him in synch. And I heard him moan softly against my lips while I kissed him hard and long.

"But..." he pulled his lips away, breathing. "We are gonna have to take it slow."

"Yes, Pat. Anything for you." I smiled.

I had kissed him again so hard he was shocked by my reaction. I received butterflies in my stomach. And I kissed him again feeling my hands up his chest and up to hook my arms around his neck. Our foreheads pressing against each other.

"Pat," I sighed.

"Hm?"

"Can you put the locket on for me?" I asked whispery.

He nodded and I turned around as he moved my hair out of the way while he placed it on me. And I had put this unremovable smile on my face, turning around to face Patrick, I stared at him.

"How does it look on me?"

"It looks beautiful on you. It suits you." He smiled.

And then I pulled him in, kissing him nonstop. I was hungry for every part of it. I didn't want to stop kissing him for a second. And our kisses became intense to a full of nonstop make out session. I had not stopped for a moment and I definitely loved Patrick right when he asked me to be his girlfriend my life has turned to anew.

Why would I not want to be with Patrick? He is actually very nice and he's someone that makes me extremely happy unlike anyone. I look at Patrick at how Mandy looks at Aaron. And I always envied their relationship for such a long time. And now I don't need a reason to be envious. And for that, I can kiss him whenever I want. And I don't need anyone like Christopher to tell me that I can't be with Patrick.

I was beyond blessed to have Patrick with me. And I was extremely happy to be with him now than I ever wanted. And so I just wanted to scream of joy. Wearing this locket was how a recent engages woman would feel. And so, I just had the feeling of happiness. How was I to not feel happy with him. So I kept on this smile that I was unable not to have. And I had never been the happiest right now.

And I just couldn't believe that I was being part of this. And I had just been swept off my feet which I was glad of. And so I just loved how I felt kissing him and being in his embrace. And I smiled of total excitement. And just then, I felt like the Gods have answered us. And with the happiness of any, I just embraced him tightly. And I remember him kissing me to the point that I didn't ever wanna stop. I don't see what the point of stopping was.

I saw everything right in front of me. I saw this beautiful angel in front of me. And I knew exactly what I wanted...what I needed. And I had gone through it completely to love this guy. And I honestly didn't care. Patrick and I can be so much better than Christopher and April. Because their relationship just seems about self control and a lot of sex. But with Patrick I want it to be special.

I just kissed Patrick and I remember it being amazing. Especially when we first kissed outside my house...before Christopher nearly killed him. Patrick is a beautiful guy that I want it to be and so when I look at him he is who I want. I'm letting go of Christopher.

And just as I was in the midst of kissing Patrick, the patio door had immediately opened and so, we both pulled away, finding my dad there. He didn't seem to notice, which I was relieved. Or he knew and just acted oblivious. Or he really didn't know because my dad is overprotective he would have said something right away. He wouldn't let that slide. So no, he definitely didn't notice.

"Hey, there's my beautiful girl and your friend. What are you two doing out here?" Dad had laughter in his voice that was ginger. I think it's from the wine. Dad acts like this when he's drinking. Meaning he is in a good mood.

"Hi, daddy." I giggled, moving my hair out of my face, seeing my dad looking happier. "We just came outside for air. We were just talking."

"It is beautiful outside." Dad commented with laughter in his voice.

Patrick turned all shy. And I think my dad actually liked Patrick. And of course my dad is pretty overprotective when it comes to boys. He has told me that he always wanted me to be his girl but he knows eventually I will belong to a guy I will date and possibly get serious with. And I had just looked at dad hiding anything we could have been caught doing. And I felt myself blush. And there was a smile on my face. A smile that I couldn't seem to get off my face.

But more importantly it came to my mind that we have to tell my dad. We have to tell him or he'll think Patrick doesn't respect him. I know how my father is. He told me that once. And he has said it over and over. So anxiety bared over me. Taking over me completely. And I was just worried about it.

I had been horrified about everything. As how Patrick might have guessed something was upsetting me. But I was worried knowing we have to tell dad.

"This is why November is the greatest in Santa Monica." Dad complimented the weather.

Inside was the laughter that I could hear. I heard Colleen laughing with Grandma North and even Kathleen. So dad then decided to head back inside. And I told him we'd be back in a minute and we both breathed, laughing quietly.

"Do you think he saw?" Patrick asked.

"No, he has no idea. If he knew he would have been pissed. And trust me, you don't want to see him pissed. But I think it's the wine. That's why he probably didn't care. He gets crazy when he has more than two glasses of wine." I said.

"Gee, it was so close." He chuckled, grabbing my hand.

And I stared at him and then my thought from a second ago flooded back in.

"Pat, we have to tell my dad. About us. 'Cause if we don't then he's gonna think you don't respect him." I said.

"Like asking permission or approval of marriage? Like that?" He asked me, raising a brow.

"Yeah, except not the asking part or the marriage." I replied.

He sighed long. "Okay. We'll tell him."

"Now?" I asked when it sounded like a demand.

"Yeah, sure. Right now. Let's tell him." He smiled, pulling me by the hand as we headed off from the patio, closing the door behind us once we headed in.

     Entering in the kitchen, I saw Christopher and April making out which I rolled my eyes at. And we had found dad in the sitting room right next to Colleen giving her another glass. I couldn't believe dad kept giving himself a lot of wine. He'll be drunk before the turkey is done. And plus the TV was on where everyone was watching football which of course excited everyone.

    "Daddy, can I please talk to you? Alone?" I asked in which he placed his wine glass down and just then, I had him where I took him into the family room with Patrick.

    "What's going on?" Dad asked me, in which I knew he was curious the second we entered into the family room.

   "Something has happened. And we have something to say." I said, starting off being nervous.

     Dad looked nervous just for a quick second. His blue eyes staring between us.

   "Emma, are you pregnant?" He blurted out, fear hiding underneath his soft voice.

   "What? No!" I shook my head, shocked by his theory. "Dad, I'm a virgin. And like you said I can make the decisions on when, why, where and if I lose it. That way I don't lose it with the wrong guy."

    Dad knew I was right because those were his words when he talked to me to see if I had sex. I was fifteen. And I told him straight out I was still a virgin and he and mom both said if I decided on losing it that I can chose when, why, where and if I lose it...but only if it was to the right guy.

   "Okay. But what is you need to tell me?" He asked, and I saw how confused he was.

Nerves were surrounding me. I felt like I might die. Just like that time I had to tell him that I broke my phone once. And he lost it and was furious. It took him weeks to get me a new phone. And he had to pay the insurance on my broken one. And in which I was grounded for it and I was fourteen. But now I'm just worried will I be grounded for this as well? For loving Patrick?

"The thing is dad..." I started, taking Patrick's hand. "We..." I stalled.

"I was meaning to ask you if it would be alright if I take your daughter out?" Patrick asked.

"Am I missing something here?" Dad cracked up like this was just a funny hysterical joke, and I just didn't find it funny and neither did Patrick. "Oh, your being serious? So have you both...talked about dating or was it last minute?"

"We were outside talking about it." I replied to him.

He crossed his arms and this is where the judgment might come to handy. And I was worried to death and so Patrick gave my hand a little squeeze. And I just can't imagine without Patrick being here when dad makes his speech about it.

"Okay. I'm glad I've been informed. But...Patrick...I gotta say you better prove that you have her. Because my daughter is...she's special to me. And I don't want anyone hurting her. Not anyone. So...for starters do you drive safe? And what kind of dates do you do? And what kinda music are you into? And more importantly...if you are to have sex with her...use protection because everyone knows pulling out is never safe." Dad explained.

"Dad!" I was embarrassed.

"Sorry. I just wanna make sure we have understanding." He looked at Patrick and he gave him the approval to answer.

"Mr. James, I love her. And I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. You have my word." Patrick responded to him and he had no fear of him.

Dad smiled and he was indeed happy.

"Thank you." Dad said. "Thank you for telling me because if you didn't tell me on your intentions to date my daughter.... you wouldn't respect me." He huffed.

"I do." Patrick nodded. "I wouldn't hurt Emma. And I really do care about her. I want her to be happy. And I'll make sure of it."

"Yes. That's what I want. I want us on the same page. But there's a big rule about this house." Dad said. "When you are in the house in Emma's room...the door stays open three inches. The same goes for Christopher in this house. And also for you both."

I had just thought of how Christopher doesn't even follow that rule. Because I can hear Christopher fucking April's brains out. So he doesn't even follow the rules. But I'm gonna follow them.

"Yes, I understand." Patrick said.

Dad then left the room and he gathered back into the sitting room with the rest of everyone else where I was certain the voices of Kathleen and Colleen both laughing loudly.

I pulled Patrick close and finally that was all out of the way and the approval seemed like he was worried.

"Now you see that was overprotective. Not like Christopher who kept demanding you who you can and can't be with. See the difference?" Patrick said.

"Even if so, I chose you over anybody, Patrick. Even a selfish stepbrother. I am not ending what we have...ever." I said and then I pulled him in and kissed him hard, not caring if anyone saw us or walked in.

The kiss was long and passionate. I definitely enjoyed every moment of it. I couldn't enjoy it any other moment. I felt his hand run down to my waist. And I just didn't care about anything right now. I just cared about Patrick and nothing but Patrick.

And my heart didn't give up.

~

At the dining table, it became one of the greatest. Everyone was talking to everyone and I definitely enjoyed to be sitting in between Hailey and Patrick. Dad was at the head of the table on the left. And Colleen was at the head of the table on the right. Wine was being poured. And I had to sit across from Christopher which annoyed me. And I think he did that on purpose. And I think Christopher knows. But I don't care. I like Patrick as much as he likes April. We both can happy. I just wish Christopher would see that he called us a mistake and denied my affections so if we can't be together then I need to find my own happiness with someone else. And that's Patrick. Besides, Christopher is dating April and he refuses to give her up. So here I am falling hard for Patrick over Christopher.

The turkey was obviously the greatest and I loved it along with the stuffing and the cranberry sauce and the mashed potatoes. I gazed at Christopher who gazed right back at me, giving me a short notice of his pity. And he was definitely enjoying the turkey the best. Marshmallow had his own bib on that said: The James' Thanksgiving. And there was the beautiful dog of ours eating out of his bowl.

I loved the turkey and I gotta say Colleen did quite the best job. And I think dad kept giving Kathleen wine. And I just enjoyed the moment at the table. Everyone was laughing and I just enjoyed the moment as it is. Patrick definitely was being a great boyfriend from the start.

    I smiled at Patrick where I felt the need to kiss him but I stopped myself because I didn't want to kiss him in front of everyone. So I relaxed myself, putting my fork into the mountain of mashed potatoes that I did enjoy.

Of course, I had noticed Grandma North just watching around because she seems like an observer. No wonder where Christopher gets it from. And I had to just thought it was strange how Colleen finally decided to move onto her third glass of wine. I had not been able to handle all this wine going around. I glanced over seeing April being extremely clingy to Christopher like always. And I ignored how I could see she might be clingy and needy to him.

My Grandma and Grandma North definitely liked each other. My Grandma is sixty eight and I think Christopher's Grandma is at least sixty two. She has blonde hair like Colleen and Kathleen do and her gray hair is very little. And she looks like she's forty when she's going on sixty three.

"So, Christopher...I actually was pretty surprised about I got the news from your mother that you were dating someone. And I was in my garden and I couldn't believe it when she called me." Kathleen said, and everyone, including April were interested.

"You mean your vegetable garden?" Christopher asked Kathleen, and she nodded, her hand holding the wineglass.

"But Christopher and April...I'm curious how after the wedding you two met. How did you guys meet? What is the story behind your chemistry?" Hailey asked, being the supportive cousin she is.

I actually could bear to hear the story about Christopher and April's love story because I'm now official with Patrick. I had taken a drink from my sparkling apple cider in my glass, and I was definitely excited to hear this story about April and Chris.

"Yeah, let's hear how you two met!" Grandma North exclaimed.

April decided to speak from how Christopher seemed a bit coy. And he turned pale. Nervous. April was all smiles. And she was definitely looking gorgeous and I think it was all for Christopher. But her makeup was heavy. And her blonde long hair was straightened down to perfection. It was silky and shiny.

She grabbed her glass, "so Chris and I met... at this pizza restaurant. His friend, Ty and my friend, Sharon were hanging out with me. Ty said he wanted me to meet his friend. I was a bit worried because I had gotten out of a six month relationship. And then I saw Christopher accidentally while he was at the restaurant that was very neon lit and dim with nice R&B music and he had accidentally spilt his coke on my dress. And that's when we met."

Hearing April tell it sounded so much better than hearing Christopher say it. And everyone loved listening to the story. And I kinda enjoyed it to know and understand what Christopher sees in her.

"And when I met him I knew from the start I had to get to know him. He apologized like a gentleman and he was charming while trying to help dry my dress. And he was just so persistent to get to know me. And I had gone with Christopher to this burger diner instead. And we ate our bacon burgers, fries and these large Coke's. It was a nice night with him. And we just got to know each other. And I gave him my number and he gave me his and from the start...I knew Christopher was the one." She explained.

I smiled and everyone actually liked hearing about the story. Hearing how April and him actually met. I knew it was at a pizza restaurant but I didn't think it happened like that. And it was a bit a lot to imagine. But my curiosity was what happened after at the burger diner. Did they sleep together that night? It looks like Christopher is like that. But maybe not, they could have just called it a night. I was still at mom's when that happened.

"Which burger diner was it?" Hailey asked.

"27 Straws." April replied with a smile.

   "Oh that is such a beautiful diner." Grandma said, laughter hiding right underneath her voice. "Emma, that's where your parents used to go to a lot. Before they were married."

    I think my father didn't wanna hear about memories about mom and him. And if I were dad's position I wouldn't wanna hear about my ex husband or wife. And surely, the two former married couple actually don't even get along. They can't even look in each other's eyes without fighting.

  "Does Grandma Greyson know?" Jenna asked Christopher. "About you dating April? Have you seen your Grandmother...the lady of fortune."

   "I haven't talked to her since before the wedding." Christopher said.

     And then the entire time during dinner it was all excitement and laughter. And Patrick had grabbed my hand a few times during the dinner as we had definitely just laughed and were excited to speak about the fall weather in Santa Monica. And however, I just enjoyed seeing Christopher and April both laughing the rest of the time, which definitely made me just feel it might be crazy. Crazy like that they are crazy of each other.

But it's funny because during dinner I noticed Christopher was texting on his phone to someone and it's obviously not April. And she didn't even notice he was texting. But I definitely noticed. And he was smiling at the texting.

    Once dinner was over I had helped Colleen to collect from the table of every dish. And the dining room table was clean quickly and it's funny everyone was still drinking wine. As in the adults. And I just rinsed the dishes, glasses and plates and silverware putting them into the dishwasher. And as I had done that, Patrick awaited into the sitting room. And while in the sitting room everyone was full of laughter. In the hall was Christopher and April both making out like crazy which I rolled my eyes. I just turned away, ignoring it.

     Once everything was put away into the dishwasher, I heard April's annoying laughing. And they just kissed to only make me get annoyed. But then after, Christopher wasn't even in the kitchen now. It was just April and me. I took the rag wiping the countertop. And I felt like April was watching me. And I turned seeing her staring.

"Hey Emma, I just wanna say I'm sorry if I upset you in any way. It's just I know you are very overprotective of him.

Overprotective of him? What the hell made her think something like that? I just stared at her awkwardly and I couldn't exactly put my hands on it. I smiled, shaking it off. I was a bit confused because that doesn't mean...wait did Christopher sag that I was overprotective of him in order to coverup the fact that I have a crush on him? If so...SHAME ON HIM!

"What do you mean by that?" I laughed in confusion.

"Well I mean he told me you can be a handful. That you are worried if a girl breaks his heart. But Emma, I'm not like other girls. I'm very faithful." She said.

Did you say the same to Logan's family before you cheated on him?

"You think I hate you?" I was confused because I never threw any vibe except being distant.

"Well for starters...you threw a water bottle at me when we first met. Your very distant from me when I'm your stepbrother's girlfriend. And also, whenever I walk in the room, you leave." She had smiled as if she was trying to be my friend.

I had finished wiping down the table in the dining room and April stared at me while I did that. And during it, I could hear the soft music playing through the house and of course, the laughter coming from the sitting room and the TV of football on.

"Yeah, I guess your right. I'm a bit overprotective of him. But when we met I did that because I wasn't crazy about you. Your not what I had in mind. I'm just not a fan of you. I don't like you very much." I admitted.

"Why?" She hissed.

"April, you are pretty, perfect, young, and your a good influence. And your a great cheerleader. I'm just envious of you." I lied, covering up my reason.

She rolled her eyes at me and growled in frustration. She looked devilish. And I was jealous now. Why do I care when I'm dating Patrick? I guess I'm still never gonna let Christopher go no matter what even though I'm with Patrick. I right now wouldn't mind breaking up April and Christopher. But Christopher would never forgive me so I can't bear myself to do that. And I know April is a bitchy drama queen. She is not right for my stepbrother. I know trouble when I see it. And it's written all over her face.

"Wow," was all April could say. "You are a cold person, Emma."

Yes, bitch! Because you started the bitch vibes when you started sleeping with Christopher!

"I can be worse." I pressed.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to hate me?" She shook her head, looking insanely uncomfortable. "Christopher also told me about how you think I'm not good for him. That he deserves better. But I'm gonna tell you this...stay out of our relationship. It's not yours! Besides, your boyfriend is a playing."

"Patrick is not a player." I spat, but quickly a thought ran in my head. "What about you and Logan? You slept with Luke. Your the one who cheated not Logan. And your the reason why he's all messed up. Because you hurt him. You slept with my best friend's boyfriend. How could you do that, April? How?" I snapped.

April's face went completely pale and she looked worried about me finding out about this and she had total loss of words.

"Yeah, I slept with Luke. Big deal. And for your information Luke and I were fucking for months. Logan didn't even know it. And Victoria doesn't either. It started long before the camping trip. Even all summer. And fall. Then Luke and I got caught by Logan. That's when we stopped." She explained to me.

"You got to fix this, April. Victoria doesn't even know. How could you do that?" I hissed at her in anguish as fear came over me.

April smiled, shaking her head in refusal. I wanted to slap her. She doesn't even care she slept with Luke. How can I still face Victoria knowing that Luke has cheated on her numerous times with April? April is nothing but a fucking liar to everyone. Logan never cheated. He was faithful. April wasn't. What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't just sit around here and watch Victoria date Luke and not know a thing.

"It's not a big deal. It's just sex. She'll get over it." She crossed her arms. "And I'm not fixing anything."

"I thought I misjudged you. But it turns out I didn't. Your nothing but a slut. A tiny ugly slut. I mean, do you think Christopher is gonna stay with you? He will not commit to you in the future. You both will go off to two different colleges and he will find somebody else to fuck. I mean all you two do is fuck." I protested.

"Actually he does. Because he already asked me to the prom in May. And next month we're attending the New Years Eve Ball together. So...yes we are gonna last. College never breaks a relationship. You don't know us. Or him. He tells me things he would never tell you." She spits at me.

At that moment, I felt my world falling down. I care about Christopher. But at this moment I thought I could scream and slap the hell out of her face. I wanted to restrain myself. I looked at her with the dirtiest look until Christopher came into the kitchen. And I know he knows we were arguing.

He had walked in looking gorgeous as ever. I felt the tension inside that was fire. I wanted to explode and tell April what we did. But I restrained myself to stay calm and to not do anything.

I had the strength to tell April just to hurt her. I wanted to kill her. And I don't care. I wanted to just slap her until she bleeds to death. I made sure Christopher make sure he didn't notice anything.

"Hey Ape." Christopher kisses her, wrapping his arms around her. "Leave Emma to clean the rest. Come with me."

She entwined her fingers with his and they both walked out, leaving me in the kitchen alone. I threw the rag into the sink. And I turned faxing the window only to allow tears fall down my face. I know today is a holiday. But I can't take it. I can't take it. I can't take seeing Christopher with April. They don't belong together. I cried in my hands.

And then I had just cried to the point I felt someone's arms come around my waist, finding Patrick. I wiped my tears, a smile came on my face. And my sadness disappeared. I faced him.

"Hey Em, are you okay? What happened in here with you and blondie? Are you okay?" He asked me.

"No..." I sobbed and then I had embraced him tightly that I needed his embrace. "Just hug me, Pat. And tell me you'll never leave me and tell me it's going to be okay." I cried, pleading.

He embraced me just as I asked and he cradled my head like a baby. And I just cried unable to stop thinking of everything being said. How much I need Patrick when I'm at my worst. And he's here. Right here where I need him. He kissed my temple.

"I'll never leave you, Emma. And everything's going to be okay." He had a promising voice.

I shut my eyes and then I remember just crying in his embrace.

~

C H R I S T O P H E R: 🥀

April told me about the argument between her and Emma in the kitchen even though I overheard enough. I can't believe Emma did that. Maybe she lost her temper. But damn, this all just keeps getting worse and worse. The night had went by and our families left and April and I said goodbye. Edward claimed that Patrick said that Emma said she wasn't feeling well so Emma was cooped up in her room with the fucking player.

     I guess it takes a lot for someone to notice that they don't like you in that way. Emma just doesn't see that...even while she is making out with my best friend. Earlier I saw them on the patio...making out like crazy lovebirds. I found it crazy. But I don't care. But why does Emma do this to me? She gets agitated about me...like we have something but she is making out with Patrick. It's like she's just using him to make me jealous. But it's not gonna work. I've tried talking to her...twice. I tried having a suitable heart to heart conversation with her...but she just doesn't understand. She doesn't understand that I'm with April. She doesn't get it that I'm crazy over heels with April. If our roles were reversed I would understand. But I wouldn't use a girl to make her jealous.

     Earlier I had made out with April to prove a point to Emma and Patrick. To Emma mainly... to prove to her that I'm in love with April and that nothing is going to change my mind. And I was proving to Patrick that I'm not in love with Emma. Maybe he senses something off about the step-sibling relationship Emma and I have. And I don't get that. Patrick always seems like the jealous type. But he too needs to see I'm only focused on April and that's it.

     I had a lot on my mind even though April was right by me. I took the wool blanket that is usually in my car that I happened to hang up in my room today and I draped it over April's shoulders. And I had just stroked her golden hair. She was beautiful more than any girl. And I wouldn't give her up for the world. She's my everything. And if Emma thinks I'm hiding my feelings from her or if I'm in denial of loving her...she's wrong when it's April I love.

     The evening came by extremely fast. Mom and Edward spent a lot of time downstairs. As ten thirty swung around they stayed down in the sitting room watching TV hooked on wine still. I am so lucky I'm under the age because it just seems like the holidays is when mom drinks a lot. I won't lie, mom drank a lot after my father died. It was whiskey not beer or anything too strong. But it was whiskey and wine. And she drank a lot that she knew by the time I was thirteen she had to stop. And she did. But since then she only drinks occasionally and once in a while. Like on Friday nights she'll have a glass. And I'm not worried she'll go back to her old habits.

     I had allowed April to stay because she didn't feel like driving out in the night. So I allowed er to stay. She had decided on taking a shower. And she was gonna wear this plaid long sleeve shirt of mine. It is practically her favorite. And when she wears it, it's long on her. And it's oversized. She had decided to just take a shower before dozing off from her excitement even after the bun cake, apple pie, cherry pie, pumpkin pie and lemon pie. She had a bit of everything. Her appetite worries me. How does she eat all that and never gain a pound?

    "Babe, are you sure you don't wanna join me in the shower? Kinda like that time we had in the jacuzzi...in your parents bathroom that time?" She laughed in her voice, with a slight guilt trip.

    "Shh!" I snapped. "No one's supposed to know. Remember? If they knew...I'd be-"

    "-dead. Yeah, I know. But it's just a thought, babe."

      She had come over to me, giving me a kiss. And I wish that she wasn't going to go into the shower but then I realized it would only be some time. And after she stride out of my bedroom... I could hear distant muffled laughter coming from Emma's room. Wow. I didn't realize you could pick up sounds. So that's how Emma knows when April and I have sex. And I'm impressed by this. But it's definitely crazy. I could hear laughter. Patrick is in her room...making her laugh which disgusts me. Why can't Patrick date anyone but my stepsister? Why can't Emma date anyone but my best friend? She's tearing our friendship apart. And I don't wanna fight with Patrick. I still care about him. He's my best friend. But I'm just worried he'll hurt Emma. And I'm trying to protect her but she's just so fucking stubborn.

     I had watched the TV, seeing an old black and white movie that looks to be from the early 1950's. I honestly couldn't find anything more interesting. And then I just relaxed there surrounded by my pillows. Wanda was still lazing in my room on my bed. Sometimes I feel like she can read my mind. Something Marshmallow never does...well I think Marshmallow is stupid. While Emma thinks he is amazing and loyal. He's anything but that. He took one of my shoes destroying it. And he had once taken a dump on my bed. And she calls him a perfect dog?

And I just got nothing in common with Emma. We can't even be friends. And not in any way will I want to be. If it weren't for mom marrying the devil then I wouldn't have to live here away from my friends with Emma who is a nightmare for a stepsister. And I have to put up with her.

     I stared at my phone only to assume that I need to get my mind off of everything so I wanted to text someone. But then I thought about Jessica. We haven't seen each other since the bonfire. And I just wanted to text her to see how her holiday was.

   So I picked up my phone and I went directly to text Jessica.

               TEXT TO JESSICA:
                Hey Jessica. How r u?

               TEXT FROM JESSICA:
                  Everything's good. This is
                   Unusual that your texting me.
                    Is something wrong? X

                  TEXT TO JESSICA:
                I need to know about Gina.
              Is she alright? Do you still
              talk to her?

                 TEXT FROM JESSICA:
                    Christopher I talk to her
                  Only when she emails me.
                  She's constantly asking 'bout
                 you. But maybe we can talk
                more about it. Like maybe we   
                can meet up somewhere
               and just talk. You and me 💋 😘

                     TEXT TO JESSICA:
                  You want me to meet up with
                 you secretly? 🤷‍♂️

                TEXT FROM JESSICA:
                    Of course not. You can bring Ty or Tom with you one day. And maybe we can do some...if you know what I mean like the old times 😉

                 TEXT TO JESSICA:
             Jessica, I have a girlfriend
          and I don't do that anymore.
            I don't take drugs anymore.
           And I'm not gonna do that.
          And I'm not gonna meet up
        With you to get high and talk about
      Gina. I want us to be alone and talk
     About Gina. X

    
                 TEXT FROM JESSICA:
                 Of course Chris. I was only kidding babe. 😘

And then I felt like I had no reason to be texting her to begin with. And then I looked down at the text that was all the same. And she was talking about Gina. I only looked at them because I was afraid April would walk in at any second. She'd be furious if she knew I was talking to Jessica. I left my phone on vibrate now. And I left it on my nightstand.

Some time after, April came walking back in and she was wearing my shirt. The shirt of mine that looks good on her. She smiled once she got back in. Her waves have returned. Today her hair was straightened and just beyond perfect with those golden locks. And I had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down on top of me where she had kissed me. And she was only in there for fifteen minutes and I lost my mind without her.

We made out so intensely I had gone crazy. She was straddling me as she kissed me hard. We both moaned from the kiss and just in seconds I tossed her over, hovering over her and I kissed her. And I sent a lot of kisses from her lips to her neck that went everywhere.

"Babe, just allow me to say I've been having such a great day. But babe, I'm sorry about fighting with Emma. She came onto me so strongly...and she was being honest I think but cold." April said.

She had taken her strength by throwing me down on my back as she hovered on top of me but she straddled my waist, leaving a kiss onto my lips slowly.

"No, Ape. Don't be sorry about that. It wasn't you. It was her. Just don't listen to her, babe. Okay. Because it's not true. I'm not gonna leave you when we go to college." I said.

She stroked her palms down my torso and gently I ran my fingers in her long hair. A smile was plastered on her face. And I stared into her blue eyes.

"I know babe. But she just hurt me." She hesitated with a shaky voice on the verge of emotion. "But I love you too much to even care-"

Ping!

"What was that? Was that your phone?" She frowned, and I wanted to scream now. And I know it was Jessica texting me. But after another ping came through and she quickly raced to my phone. "Who is texting you?"

I tried reaching my phone before she did but she grabbed it and she looked at the screen and was a bit upset with something.

"Christopher...why do you have a lock on your phone? And why are you texting Jessica? It's Jessica...that girl from the bonfire." April seemed very upset and I hated seeing her like this.

All I gotta do is explain myself.

She could only see the two messages across my screen. And they were words that no girl wants to see on her boyfriends phone so it made me seem like a screw over. So how could I explain myself?

"We're just friends, Ape. I promise you... that's all. She's Gina's best friend. That's why we talk." I said.

She smiled in sarcasm. "In case you've forgotten you had a fucking threesome with that bitch! You had fucked her!"

"Yeah, a long time ago. A year ago that happened. I have nothing with Jessica. We're just good friends." I defended myself quickly.

She crossed her arms.

"Was she who you were texting at the dinner table?" She spat, her jealousy spilling right from her.

"Yeah, but we're friends, April." I felt myself getting agitated with her.

"Bullshit, Christopher. She called you babe on here. And is wanting to see you. What the fuck, Christopher?" She looked at me like she hated me.

I couldn't say anything to excuse it. So I just remained silent and she sighed. She had threw her hands up in the air and she walked away from me where she was reaching on the floor for some things that I noticed.

"April, you are not leaving me!" I pulled her harshly by the arm.

"Let go of me, Christopher." She seethed before getting angry which I knew would happen and I didn't care if I provoked her. So I pulled on her harder. "Christopher, let me go! Let me fucking go!" She pushed me and I fell landing on the floor, hitting the back of my head on the bottom of my dresser.

She covered her mouth, quickly running to me and I remember just seeing her turn her personality to comforting right away.

"Oh my god, baby I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Just go." I demanded quietly.

     April looked at me and she refused to move as she stood right by my side. She was nervous to say anything. But I had enough to strength to get up and hold her hard at her shoulders. And she didn't back down. But this time she got out of my grip and she was definitely angry at me.

    "I should be the one mad. You always do this to me. You are always texting someone. I mean you obviously don't care about me. Your talking to someone you used to fuck." April said. "Do you want Lindsay? I bet you still wish you could. And do you think I don't know? Ty told me about her crush on you. And at the bonfire you two were flirting. And when she kissed you in front of me...you enjoyed it."

      This was crazy. And how could she actually go through these accusations? She sounds like the typical normal jealous girlfriend. And I just can't take how needy she can be. It is driving me insane. Does she not realize how ridiculous she sounds?

   "But you also have a lock on your phone. I mean this is why I don't have trust. And this is why we can't have nice things." She said, crossing her arms and she definitely didn't care how I felt about these harsh words.

  "Oh my God! Do you hear yourself?" I spat.

    "You know what...fuck you, and you can go fuck Jessica after I leave." She rolled her eyes and she turned around grabbing her purse with her keys.

  Shit.

      I couldn't just sit here and let her leave. In which I didn't care. All I cared about was that she wasn't angry. Because by morning she might breakup with me. And I didn't want ya ending... and so the first thing I did was allow her to not walk out that door.

   "April, if you walk out that door..."

   "What?!" She hissed.

   "Then don't fucking come back ever." I threatened her, her expression turned to worry.

   "I just need some time. Can we just take time apart for a few days? Like the whole vacation? We been fighting so much. We just need a small break. So give me some space and time is all I'm asking." She said.

     I couldn't believe this. And so like that, I let her walk out after she gave me back my shirt. She left in her dress and she left before I could stop her. I shit my door only to cry about it because I never meant for it to turn into this. Why did I text Jessica? What was I thinking? I can't believe I let that happen? I wanted to just punch a wall with my hand.

    But she said we weren't over. She just wanted a break for vacation. And like that, I can't even believe it. So I'm just gonna stop thinking about it. She'll call me back because that is what April does. She can't go days without texting me. So...I'll just wait for her.

   

~

     
                            E M M A: 🌹

      Patrick made me feel better. He always did. He somehow did. And I just couldn't stop thinking of how incredible he is as a boyfriend. And we were in my room, watching A Lexus a beautiful French movie. Of course Patrick has no idea what is going on due to the language but maybe over time I can teach him French. But he just smiled and had his arm around me.

      I smiled at the TV while we were in dark. And I forgot everything that happened today except for the intense kissing and make out sessions Patrick I did. I was now in a white
Baseball tee-shirt with the number 33 on the back. My makeup was all off and my hair was up in a messy bun. And I had Patrick with me so I didn't feel alone.

    Patrick was about to get up and leave while it was after eleven thirty.

   "Please, don't leave yet, Pat." I pleaded him.

   "Okay." He agreed.

       And little did I know we both fell asleep quickly after that. And I remember waking up lying on him. My ear against his chest and I could hear the rhythm of his heartbeat. And I remember when I woke, he was still asleep and my door was still open as I left it. And that morning turned to awkwardness. I ran into Christopher while brushing my teeth and he definitely knew Patrick stayed over but I didn't care.

   "Does the King know?" Christopher asked me, referring to my dad.

   "Yeah." I replied. "And by the way, don't speak to me, Christopher. I'm still mad you."

      After I was done brushing my teeth, I pushed him out of my way. And I honestly didn't care. I heard him chuckle at me once I left. And from this, I had gone directly to my room where Patrick was still asleep.

    I was aware of Christopher and April's fight. But of course, April wasn't seen around all vacation. When we returned back to school, they were once all lovey dovey again. But then again I don't care now that I'm dating Patrick. And I told all my friends about. Mandy thought I was making a mistake by not telling Patrick about my feelings for Christopher and that I'm just lying. But...I'm not gonna tell Patrick 'cause if I do...he'll walk away from me and never want me. It's better this way.

A/N:
       Hey guys it's your girl E M I L Y! 🌹
      I hope u guys enjoyed this chapter!
     I took a lot of time off just to sit down
        and write this chapter. And I'm excited to where the story has headed!

MEOW! 🐈 🐱

#loveyourself
#staybeautiful

🌹