He Jin's eyes widened and he let his tears flow, his head also felt numb with what Qin Yang had said...had he ever said things like that in front of Qin Yang? And did he do so after getting drunk?
Qin Yang raised He Jin's hand again and threatened him viciously, "look at me and swear to God, swear to your parents, tell them that you don't want me anymore! Tell them that you don't have anything to do with me anymore! Then I, Qin Yang, will not bother you anymore in this life! Say it!"
How could He Jin say it? He shook his head subconsciously, and his last mental defense line totally collapsed. The mask that he had worn for three years could no longer cover his crying face.
Qin Yang was watching the pathetic side of He Jin, he no longer kept his cool and introverted surface, and he no longer cared about his face, reputation, pride and self-esteem, yet this time, he was finally so real and Qin Yang had a strong urge to hold him tightly.
Qin Yang pulled He Jin close to him and held him in his arms. When he did so, the corners of his eyes also started getting wet.
For other people, three years would be a period that passes in the blink of an eye. However, for He Jin and Qin Yang, they felt like having waited a lifetime in despair, loneliness and struggles. He Jin never expected an impulsive, romantic relationship seemingly driven by hormones would leave such a deep mark in his heart.
Initially, He Jin wanted to keep his romantic thoughts and to make their relationship stay at its best moment, but his sudden departure had made both of them extremely painful.
With tears in his eyes and a blurred vision, He Jin looked at Qin Yang's eyes and asked, "it's been three years, why would you still..." Why would you still come to look for me and still remember me?
Before He Jin asked, Qin Yang interrupted him, "I had already waited eight years, why is three years a big deal? If you don't return, I will wait for you forever."
After hearing this sentence, He Jin felt like his heart was going to stop beating and his blood was going to be condensed. It took him a few seconds to resume his physical reactions, as if he had to make up for the few heartbeats that were missed. Then, his heart started beating quickly again, and he felt his blood flowing once more. He also regained his senses.
While his hands were still shaking, he hugged Qin Yang back, and used his lips soaked with tears to kiss the man in front of him. Qin Yang felt so emotional that his whole body was shivering, and he kissed He Jin back forcefully. At this moment, the two finally connected on the emotional level.
He Jin let go of everything and hugged Qin Yang's neck tightly. The taste of each other lingered between their lips. The two were entangled with each other affectionately in the dusk of late autumn, by the car outside the suburbs.
They only stopped when the two almost couldn't breathe. He Jin made use of this break to apologize to Qin Yang while his voice was still trembling, "sorry, Qin Yang, I'm sorry..."
"I don't want you to say you're sorry! What I want is you!" While his eyes were still red, Qin Yang pulled the car door open and pushed He Jin in, and he pushed himself in immediately.
...
When the temperature of their bodies started to get lower, the two were still intertwined and they refused to let loose.
Qin Yang used his lips to rub on He Jin's face, and gently licked his red and swollen eyelids like a little pet. There were no more tears on it, but Qin Yang still couldn't get enough, he had to continuously leave scent of himself on He Jin.
He Jin closed his eyes, he was rubbing Qin Yang's back lightly, and the two rubbed their ears against each other. They were fully indulging themselves in the flirtatious environment until it was fermented to the extreme. They felt like the whole atmosphere has turned into sugar, and they completely lost themselves in it.
"Silly..." He Jin couldn't help but start again. His hoarse voice, after too much crying, revealed a sense of sweetness and innocence. He was touching Qin Yang's head and whispered, "why are you so silly..."
"Am I silly?" Qin Yang's voice also became lazy and he didn't sound as fierce as before, it was fully of gentleness.
He Jin felt like his whole body was getting numb. Suddenly, he reacted and recalled that he had fallen in love after hearing Qin Yang's voice for the first time.
After logging on the game after eight years, and when He Jin heard him calling "Ah Jin" gently and playfully, he knew that he had already been conquered.
He was once afraid to be judged if Qin Yang found out that he's fond of guys, and he was carefully hiding the fact. However, he couldn't resist Qin Yang's attractiveness either, and he was trying slowly to get near to him...
He Jin was holding Qin Yang who's on top of him, and he didn't know what else to say. When facing this fool who was willing to wait for him for a lifetime, any words would seem too weak. He could only dedicate his later half of lifetime to promise to Qin Yang that he'd never leave again.
Seeing that He Jin had no reaction, Qin Yang raised his head and asked insecurely, "so are we good now?"
A person who's usually so cold and distant in front of fans has suddenly become so insecure and vulnerable...
"Yes." He Jin kissed him proactively. No one knew better than him what it felt like to find something back after having lost it. Aside from delight, there's also fear, he's so afraid to lose Qin Yang again, and this time, he decided to never let go, "...I love you."
He Jin checked his bracelet. It's already 9:17pm. He got off the car.
Qin Yang sat in the car and looked at him. When thinking of He Jin's sudden expression of love, he felt that happiness had come too soon and too surreal...
He looked up and saw one of the buildings. After reading the data from collected from Xiao Zhou, he knew that one of the windows belonged to He Jin's home, the place where He Jin lived for nearly thirty years, and the place that had restricted his freedom.
The entrance to the black building downstairs looks like a monster's mouth. Seeing that He Jin's back was about to be swallowed up by that shadow, Qin Yang jumped out of the car in anxiety and called out in panic, "He Jin!"
He Jin stopped, turned around, glanced at Qin Yang and said, "What's wrong?"
Qin Yang looked at him and suggested awkwardly, "Do you want me to go up with you?"
......
He Jin smiled, and there were still marks of tears on his face, but he smiled so calmly, “give me your hand.” He said to Qin Yang.
Qin Yang inexplicably stretched out his hand, but he saw that He Jin was handing out his wallet, ID card and bracelet, then he said, “wait for me here.”
Qin Yang, “…”
He Jin walked back steadily, there was love in his heart, and he was full of courage. This time, he was no longer doing it for himself, but he wanted to do it for Qin Yang. He had to fight for him one more time.
Qin Yang counted the time with his head up. At 9.30pm, he stuffed He Jin’s stuff into his pants’ pockets, reached out to take out the cigarette case, and lit a cigarette while his hands were shaking.
After He Jin had left his life, Qin Yang had slowly developed the habit of smoking. He was so afraid that He Jin would leave him again, he was afraid to see He Jin being defeated and tell him, “my parents don’t agree us to be together, just leave…”
Qin Yang knew that He Jin could do something like that, he could be such a cold-blooded person.
At 9.45pm, there were already two cigarette butts under Qin Yang’s feet. He seemed to hear someone shouting upstairs, someone was hysterically crying, but he couldn’t hear which floor it came from.
At 9:55pm, the crying and screaming had disappeared, and Qin Yang started turning in circles.
At 10:15pm, it had already been an hour. There were five cigarette butts on the floor. Qin Yang squeezed the cigarette case tightly, supported his hand on the car, and gently knocked the window glass with his forehead.
At 10:30pm, there was a sound behind him finally. Qin Yang immediately turned around and saw He Jin stepping out of the shadows, eagerly locking his vision to himself.
He Jin smiled. He walked toward Qin Yang quickly as if he was rushing over. It looked as if he had wings behind him. It’s bringing wind, hope and freedom.
Qin Yang’s anxiety gradually faded away, and he also felt reborn.
After eight years of waiting and three years of torture, he was finally not let alone anymore.
“Why did you look like that?” Qin Yang was holding He Jin too tightly, making it hard to breathe. He gently pushed Qin Yang away.
He Jin looked at Qin Yang’s face, and Qin Yang was also checking him out. He didn’t answer He Jin’s question. Instead, he was gently caressing He Jin’s face, and he asked with empathy, “did she hit you?”
“It’s alright, it doesn’t hurt.” He Jin touched his cheek nonchalantly, “it’s cold outside. Get in the car, I’ll return to the hotel with you.”
“Did they agree to let you go?” Qin Yang asked desperately.
“Yes.” He Jin fastened his seat belt and he also wondered why his parents had let him go. At the last moment, his father pulled his mother, and he said to He Jin when his eyes were wet, “leave. Dad will be around.” This was really unexpected.
“How did you tell them?” Qin Yang lowered his handbrake and the car slowly started.
He Jin propped his elbow on the window, holding his half-swollen face and slowly said, “I told my mother that I’m not the same as my brother. Even if I’m with you, I won’t do stuff like my brother did. And I won’t leave them alone.”
Qin Yang glanced at him, “I just heard someone roaring, and thought that you were quarreling fiercely.”
He Jin was stunned, “we didn’t argue.”
In fact, the situation turned to be much better than He Jin had imagined. He thought it would be extremely difficult to make that critical step, as what frightened him the most was his mother to lose it. However, after hearing what he said, his mother just slapped him once and kept crying afterwards. After telling his parents all his thoughts and reasons, He Jin asked for their understanding and support. When his mother stubbornly answered no, his father stepped out.
Although father He had promised not to tell his mother about what happened three years ago, He Jin felt that his parents had already prepared for this day, that He Jin would come out of his closet sooner or later.
“Maybe you heard it wrong.” He Jin looked at Qin Yang, his eyes were flashing.
He could finally face his heart with courage. God knows how happy he was when he saw Qin Yang again.
The two returned to the hotel, took a shower together, and kissed for a while on the bed. However, they didn’t have the energy to do it again, so they were just holding each other and talked.
He Jin asked Qin Yang about his life these three years ago, as this was something that he dared not find out when he was alone. Right now, he was desperate to know every detail.
“I heard that you had a girlfriend.” He Jin remembered one of the things which bothered him the most during these three years, and he grabbed Qin Yang’s hand and asked.
“Who told you that?” Qin Yang looked a bit annoyed.
“Monkey told me. He told me that you’d brought a pretty girl to school before. It should be before I went back to school for my dissertation…” He Jin hadn’t realized that he sounded jealous now.
“I haven’t even asked you about your 18 blind dates! How dare you get jealous?” Qin Yang looked angry.
“You…you investigated me!” He Jin was stunned.
“I only found out yesterday.” Qin Yang snorted, “if you didn’t beg me to not leave you, I’d never do so.”
“…” (= _ =)
“Aren’t you just the same? There’s so much news about me. It’s so easy to find about my info on TV or on the Internet, yet you still asked how I was doing. I was showing it to you honestly!” Qin Yang sounded more annoyed.
He Jin suddenly felt warm. Could Qin Yang be staying in the entertainment circle just to catch his attention?
He kissed Qin Yang and apologized, “it’s my bad…I dared not check news about you, I was afraid that I’d miss you and that I’d suffer.” Suddenly, he saw no more need to hide anything, finally he could be totally honest in front of his lover, and there’s no need to act strong again.
It’s just a crab leaving his tough shells behind, showing its most vulnerable side to the only trusted person.
Qin Yang also found it precious to finally see He Jin like that, and he wasn’t mad anymore. He understood perfectly how He Jin had felt, and it’s actually the same for him – he was so worried that if he started contacting He Jin, he wouldn’t be able to control himself, and he knew that he’d just stick to He Jin.
“The girl that Hou Dongyan saw was the assistant that the company had looked for me, she’s called Li Xiaowen. She still works for me now and she knows about us. Don’t get jealous anymore.” Qin Yang said in a low voice.
The two started kissing again, the jealousy in the air was soon replaced by sweetness.
“Then…what are you going to do?” He Jin finally asked the biggest challenge they were about to face now.
Since they have decided to be together, they had to overcome it. Now, Qin Yang was based in A city and He Jin was working in Q city. Even if they had to be separated for one hour, it would be very unbearable, let alone living in two different places.
Qin Yang frowned and he looked sad, “I have to fly back to A city for a show tomorrow, I can’t stay in Q city that long…”