Chapter 38: Doing the Right Thing Even if I REALLY Don't Want to
Today was the day. The day I was extremely nervous for.
The cross-country competition.
Sawyer helped me as much as he could, and he tried his best to help me feel confident about the competition. It helped, to some degree. I did feel a bit more confidant as I was practicing, but the day the competition arrived was a completely new story.
I never felt so many butterflies in my stomach before, even whenever I see Sawyer shirtless. Then again, I see him shirtless a lot so I definitely got used to it.
Sawyer came with me early to the competition grounds, mainly to help me bring Paint there. As much as I loved Paint, I didn't have that much experience transporting horses anywhere. I wanted to ride Paint to the competition grounds but no, it was too far from the farm.
I told Sawyer it would have been good practice but he still wouldn't let me.
"Can you promise me something?" I asked Sawyer as I was brushing Paint's coat to calm him down after being transported here. He really didn't like closed spaces.
"Are you talking to me or the horse?" Sawyer asked. "Because with you, I could never be too sure."
I looked at Sawyer since I was currently looking at Paint, despite my question being directed to my boyfriend instead. Yeah, I could see why he asked that question since I talked to Paint all the time. No shame.
"I was talking to you," I said. "So... Can you promise me something?"
"That sounds serious," Sawyer said. "But yeah, of course. Anything. So what is it?"
"Promise..." I sighed. "Promise you won't get mad if I send you nudes while you're on tour?"
Sawyer gave me a flat look, not being amused by my not-so serious yet serious question. "Seriously? I thought it was something serious. Wait a second... You said while I'm on tour. You... You think you're not going to get the spot?"
I shrugged as I turned my focus back to Paint. "I know my confidence has been shifting but... Now that I'm actually at the competition... I don't know. I just... have a feeling I'm not going to make the team..."
"Hey..." Sawyer said softly, resting his hand on my cheek. "You are going to make the team. You did amazing during practice. I mean, you rarely hit any of the jumps and you finished quite fast."
"No, I didn't finish fast," I said.
"What?" Sawyer asked. "Yeah, you did. I timed all of your runs and you were also back at the start of the path in now time."
"Oh, you were talking about the practices," I said. "Never mind then."
"Of course I was," Sawyer said. "What did you think I was--" He sighed when he realized what I was talking about. "Never mind. Of course that was what you thought about. But in all seriousness, you are going to do amazing today."
"Thanks," I said, giving him a small smile even though I was still feeling nervous. Not as much as I was before because Sawyer had a way with words, but still enough to feel worried about this competition.
I was one of the last competitors to compete, so at least that gave me the opportunity to watch everyone to see if I could beat them and what I would have to do to make sure I place well.
I really needed to place well.
I didn't know if anyone else was being considered for the spot. For all I knew, Kitty and Steph were the only two who were being considered, apart from me, so I was trying my best not to focus too hard on the other competitors. I didn't want to spend most of my time trying to figure out who was also being considered.
Steph was one of the early competitors and she did... extremely well. So far, she was placed first and as the competition went on, no one else had beat her.
"Looks like we know one of the people taking the spot on the team," I said to Sawyer. "So... All I have to do is beat Kitty."
"Or both," Sawyer said. "You beat both last time. I think you can do it again."
"What if I don't beat both of them?" I asked. "What if I come third? What if I don't even place? It's not like they're the only two competitors here? Oh my gosh, what if I come last? I can't be at the bottom of the list. I'm a top, not a bottom."
"Must you sexualize everything?" Sawyer asked.
"Yes. It helps take my mind off of how nervous I'm feeling, and I'm feeling very nervous."
Sawyer wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a side hug. "You're going to do great, James. Really."
"I hope..."
When the competitor before me was about to go, I hopped onto Paint to get ready to go. My nerves were still very strong, but I was trying my best to push it away so I could focus on the competition.
"I have one more thing to tell you before you compete," Sawyer said. "Just think about how amazing it will be when, not if, when you make the team. You and I will be touring around the country together. Think of all the places and things we can see together."
"Is it a bad time if I tell you that I'm already having dirty thoughts?"
Sawyer sighed. "Of course you are."
"But really, hearing you say that made me a bit more determined. I will really love travelling around the country with you. Alright, I am going to try my best. Not that I wasn't going to before. Now I'm just feeling a bit more confidant."
When my name was called to compete, Sawyer patted my leg. "Good luck, babe."
I smiled at him. "Thank you."
I led Paint to the starting line, and he seemed more than ready to knock this competition out of the park.
Paint did end up knocking one of the jumps, but I tried to not let that shake me. I kept all the determination I had to try my hardest to place. I really needed to do well so I could make the team.
And I did.
Well, I wasn't sure if I made the team yet but I ended up placing first.
As soon as I led Paint back to where Sawyer was, I jumped off my horse and Sawyer pulled me into a tight hug. "I knew he could do it," he said. "I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you," I said. "For all your help. I definitely wouldn't have done this good if you didn't help me train and if you didn't try your best to boost my confidence."
"You're welcome," Sawyer said. "I knew this was something you really loved doing and I wanted to make sure you get to join the team."
I pulled away from him, just so I could give him a kiss. I was so grateful to have him in my life.
Kitty was the very last competitor, and she looked extremely confident, like nothing was going to stop her from doing well in this competition.
And she didn't.
For some weird reason.
A really weird reason.
I mean, she finished the race quite fast. I did see her horse knock the second obstacle and if that was the only one she did, she should have came first. In fact, even if she made two she still should have came first. But apparently, she came sixth.
There was no way that was possible.
I didn't know if Sawyer noticed it as well. I didn't ask him before I walked over to Kitty, who looked very pissed off as she was leading her horse to the feeding area. "Hey," I said.
"I don't want to talk to you," Kitty said as she continued walking away.
"How many penalties did you make on the course?" I asked.
"Why? So you could rub it in?" Kitty asked.
"No, because you should have came in first," I said.
Kitty stopped walking as she looked at me. She hesitated before saying, "I should have just gotten one, but they're saying my horse made a refusal, which she didn't, so I got a bunch of penalties I didn't even deserve."
"Do you know which obstacle they're saying the refusal happened?" I asked.
"Apparently, it was the second one," Kitty said. "The one that my horse just knocked, which should have been my only penalty."
"What?" I asked. "No, that's impossible. I saw that one and that definitely wasn't a refusal. All your horse did was knock it over, but she still jumped over it as soon as she got to it."
"Well, thanks for stating the obvious but that's not going to do anything," Kitty said before walking away.
I sighed as I walked back to Sawyer and Paint, who were now with Lauri. She smiled when she saw me. "Jamie, that was amazing. Exactly what we're looking for so I would like to officially ask you to join the tour."
I couldn't help but smile widely. "I would love to join the tour."
Lauri smiled back. "Perfect. I'll email you with all the details later because right now, I have to go offer the second spot to Steph."
"Wait, hold on," I said. "What about Kitty? I know she was being considered."
"Jamie, Kitty came in sixth," Lauri said. "I've seen her in other competitions and she's extremely good, but sixth place isn't something we're looking for."
"She only came in sixth because of the judges' error," I said. "They said she got a refusal but she didn't."
"I'm sorry if you really want you're friend to make the team, but the judges don't make errors like that," Lauri said.
"Whoa, friend?" I asked. "Kitty is not my friend. She's not even an acquaintance or anything. She's my enemy. Literally. We just fought yesterday because I smiled at her, and I only smiled at her because I knew she would get mad at me. Believe me, I would never lie to get Kitty on the team."
"It's true," Sawyer said. "I don't know what this is about the judges' error, but Jamie and Kitty do not get along at all. I don't even get along with Kitty. She's my ex-girlfriend so I wouldn't lie for her either but if Jamie says there was an error, I believe him."
"Yeah, Kitty said the refusal was for the second jump, but I saw that jump," I said. "It was just her horse hitting the jump, not an actual refusal."
"Wait, the second jump?" Lauri said. "No, that can't be right. That's one that's still visible on the bleachers, and that's where I was sitting. She cleared all but one, the second one, but there were no refusals."
"That's what Kitty told me, though," I said. "And there's no way she would have finished as fast as she did if there was a refusal. That really slows things down."
"I'll have to figure out what's going on," Lauri said before walking away.
"You know, I'm proud of you for standing up for Kitty," Sawyer said.
"I want things to be fair," I said. "And it definitely wouldn't be fair if she didn't get a spot on the team when she really should have came first. I still don't get how the judges could mess up that badly, though."
________________________
i wondered what happened oof
jk i know what happened lol
but oof two more chapters left until we get book two, which will, if you haven't guessed it, be about sawyer and jamie on tour woo.