Okay I was really proud of myself for chapter title for last chapter
A Single Pale Buttercup was supposed to reference Steven Universe A Single Pale Rose
But no one seemed to understand it
ONE HUNDRED CHAPTERS OF THIS SHIIIIITTTTTT
WE MADE IT I WROTE ANOTHER 100+ CHAPTER BOOK
THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOO MUCH 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
（✿ ͡◕ ᴗ◕)つ━━✫・*。
⊂ ノ ・゜+.
しーーＪ °。+ *'¨)
.· 'Let there be angst☆'¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·' (¸.·'* (¸.·'* (¸.·'* (¸.·'* (¸.·'* *¨)
Words - 3107
hAvE fUn
TRIGGER WARNINGS : bullying, attempted rape, attempted murder, PTSD stuff, self harm, blood, talks about child abuse, hitting
Quinn POV
I flipped the page of my book, tracing the sketches with my fingers. Leave The City by Twenty Øne Piløts blasting into my ears.
There's surprisingly a lot of books in the library about art technique if you know where to look. I was curled up in one of the window wells on the second floor in the back.
All the art books are back here anyways and not many people go into the adult nonfiction section. Especially the art section.
I looked at my phone to see it was almost five pm. I sighed and shut the book in my lap. Damien makes me come home from the library before dark ever since the almost freezing to death event.
He also won't let me take my usual path home. I have to go back through the city or have someone come pick me up. I think it's bullshit.
I looked down at the sketch I did today. It was of Remus. Now that I'm spending more time with Remus, I've started developing a crush on him.
But I was a total bitch to him so I know he's moved on from me. Besides he has Evan and Damien. Why would he want a broken mess like me?
I carefully put my charcoals back in their bag and set it in my messenger bag. I have about three sketch books that I carry around with me and a smaller journal also full of sketches but I more so use that one for figuring out palettes.
After putting my phone and earbuds away, I got up and wondered back down the isle. Finding the spot for charcoal art, I slid the book back into its spot.
The library is so calm and peaceful. It's quite. Barely anyone comes to the library nowadays so there's not many people to deal with.
I headed towards the balcony and than went down the stairs. The old librarian waved goodbye to me. I come here enough that she knows me by name.
The cold bit at my face the second I stepped outside. I shivered and pulled my jacket tighter around me.
I probably look like a total emo right now, and I do care because of my anxiety, but I also don't care. Black skinny jeans, black high top converse, a dark grey sweater that was too big for me and a black fleece jacket.
Even my messenger bag full of my art supplies was black. I don't cover mine in pins like what other people do and besides, it was covered in enough paint stains.
Deciding against calling someone to pick me up, I started walking down the street. I don't want to bother or annoy anyone.
Patton and Emile would probably fight me if they heard how self deprecating I am in my mind.
The snow was finally melting which made me sad. Despite spending hours being buried under the snow and almost dying, I still really like the snow.
"Hey psycho!" Jackson's voice screamed behind me.
I flinched and sped up my walking. Not again. This isn't happening again. I'm not getting jumped by Jackson again.
"I'm fucking talking to you," Jackson said, grabbing my by the shoulders.
I tried to shove him off me and run but Jackson grabbed my messenger bag and dragged me down the alley way next to us.
"Issac didn't do enough to you in my opinion," He said. "I was there that day, just watching. He barely touched you. It was annoying."
Jackson threw me roughly to the ground. I scrambled backwards away from him but my back hit the wall.
I was breathing heavily, tears in my eyes. I clutched my bag close to my chest, terrified he'd burn more of my art.
"So I think I need to finish the job," Jackson purred, grabbing a wooden baseball bat from behind a trash can.
While he was turned around, I forced myself up to run. I only made it a foot or so before the bat hit my side.
I fell down with a cry. The bat hit my arm this time. I desperately grabbed at the ground in front of me in attempt to drag myself away.
Jackson laughed at m feeble attempts. He grabbed the back of my jacket and pulled me up. Then his fist collided with my face.
My head snapped back and I felt blood fall from my nose. Pain blossomed across my face and the tears in my eyes increased.
He shoved me to the ground while laughing psychotically. The bat hit my back and I cried out. I could already tell I'd be bruised badly by tomorrow.
"What else did you Dad do to you?" Jackson asked, grabbing me by my hair and forcing me to look up at him. "The bottle thing didn't work as well as I wanted it to. He beat you but that doesn't seem to trigger you too much. So what will trigger you?"
I didn't respond, just staring up at him in fear. Then someone new looped their arms beneath my armpits and hoisted me up.
When I turned to see Issac, I tried desperately to wiggle out of his grasp. But he was too strong. The smell of weed coming from him was overpowering.
"How much did he hit you?" Jackson asked, punching me in the cheek. I just cried, giving up on escaping.
"We're just going to keep trying new things until we figure it out," Issac purred in my ear. "You should probably just tell us now and let us have our fun."
I shook my head 'no' and tried to cower away from them. But considering I was trapped between them, I couldn't go anywhere.
Panic started to rise in my throat. I couldn't breath. I'm trapped here. No ones coming to help me.
"He raped you didn't he?" Jackson asked, grabbing my chin with his fingers.
I felt the blood drain from my face and Jackson started smirking. He figured it out. He let go of my chin and stepped back.
"You're gay, you'll enjoy this," He told me, undoing his belt. But then he stopped and his eyes widened in a realization. "Are you just gay because of your dad? You like taking it in the ass but he did that to you?"
I tried not to react. That's not true. He Dad that to me because he found out I was gay. But it hurt that he believed that.
"Don't worry," Issac said, rubbing himself on me. "We can be your new daddies."
Jackson than punched me roughly and my vision went spinning. I could feel rings digging into my cheek.
Issac forced me to bend over and Jackson grabbed my hair and pulled my face to his crotch.
When I finally realized what was happening, pure panic filled me. And I started screaming. I struggled and did anything to get them off me.
Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me! Stop! Not again! Stop fucking touching me!
I didn't even realize that I was screaming that aloud. Panic gripped at my heart and I couldn't breath.
Help me help me help me make it stop MAKE IT STOP
Get off me! Don't fucking touch me! Stop!
Not again not again not again get OFF ME
too loud
Everything's too loud
It burns
DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME
STOP
please
MAKE IT STOP
I can't go back
I can't go back
I can't go back there
It hurts
Over and over and over and over AND OVER AND OVER
IT'S TOO LOUD
DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME
I didn't even realize that they had dropped me. I was writhing on the ground, scratching myself and pulling out my own hair. I have no clue how much of that I said aloud.
"Fucking freak," Issac said in disgust.
"You're such a psycho," Jackson said.
"Do everyone a favor and kill yourself," Issac said.
Jackson picked me up this time. I was shaking badly and I could barely focus on what was in front of me.
"Maybe we should just kill you now," Jackson laughed, grabbing a pocket knife and flipping it open.
I stared at it with wide eyes. My shaking increased as he pressed the blade against my throat.
"Just a little pressure and than a quick slice," He whispered, pressing the knife into my neck. But then the pulled the knife away.
"We need to have our fun first," Issac said, pulling me down.
I went limp. The other two weren't expecting it and they dropped me. I smacked against the cold ground but I instantly bolted.
Only then did I realize I left my bag behind. Everything was in there. My sketch books, my good charcoals, and my phone. I could hear them yelling and running after me so I just kept running as fast as I could.
Ahead of me was a small convenience store and gas station. My luck finally decided to start working because Remus was walking in the opposite direction. A bag of something in one hand and a slushy in the other.
"Remus!" I yelled, relief filling me as he turned around.
I ran into him and he barely caught me as I collapsed. He gently sat me down on the ground. Remus was looking at me with worry but than Issac and Jackson caught up.
Remus took one look at my bleeding shaky form and quickly stepped in front of me. Before anyone could say anything, Remus chucked his slushy at Issac.
"What the fuck?!" Issac screamed as the slushy exploded against his chest. It got all over his chest and face.
"Give that back," Remus said lowly, pointing at my bag. "And then fuck off."
"No," Jackson said. "We weren't done with the psycho."
"Well then your going to have to get through this psycho first," Remus growled, pointing at himself.
Jackson opened my bag and dumped all my things into the muddy slush at the edge of the parking lot. I let out a little whimper, watching as my work got destroyed again.
Remus then pulled something out of his pocket and opened it. A pocket knife. He pointed it at Jackson as he walked over to grab my things from the slush.
He picked up my things and shoved them in the bag. But than Issac ran toward me. I screamed and scrambled backwards.
Issac raised a fist to punch me but Remus's fist hit his face first. Issac stumbled sideways and Remus tossed me my bag. Remus closed the knife and balled it in his fist before punching Issac again.
There was an audible snap as Remus's fist collided with Issac's nose. Issac screamed in pain and blood instantly started rushing from his nose.
He went running back the way he came, holding a hand to his bleeding nose. Remus turned to Jackson with a murderous look in his eyes.
Jackson looked at him uneasily, his eyes darting to Remus's bloodied fist. Then he turned and bolted after Issac.
I just sobbed and held my bag close to my chest. Before I knew it, Remus picked me up and started walking somewhere.
My shaking subsided a bit and I didn't struggle. I just held tightly to Remus and buried my face in his neck.
I must have passed out because the next thing I was aware of was Remus putting me on a countertop. We were in the kitchen of his house.
He turned away from me and rummaged around in a cabinet for something. I unconsciously started scratching my arms. I needed to feel something besides this overwhelming fear.
"Hey, don't do that," Remus said, grabbing my hand. "You're going to hurt yourself."
I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't focus on anything except the pain and the fear. The overwhelming flood of memories that assaulted my mind.
"Look at me," He said gently, putting his hands on my cheeks. "Breath. They're gone."
"They touched me," I chocked out. The places their hands hit me burned.
"Where?" Remus asked, anger in his voice.
"They hit me," I tried again. "Everywhere. Like Dad did. Told me they were going to rape me and kill me. It was too much. Too loud and they wouldn't stop touching me!"
I screamed the last part, digging my nails into my arms. I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that'd stop the memories.
"You're safe right now," Remus's voice cut through the memories. "I'm right here and I'm not going to let them hurt you."
"Why?" I asked. "I was such a bitch to you. Why did you put up with me?"
"I scared you," He said softly. "I can't blame you. I scare a lot of people."
"But I let my stupid fucking problems control me and then I do stupid shit that hurts the people I care about," I cried, completely sobbing now. "I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong and I tried to push you away before I even got to know you. I can't fucking control myself and I hurt you. And now you must hate me. But now I like you and I want to date you but why would you like me anymore? I was such a bitch to you and I don't deserve forgiveness. I'm such a fuck up."
I curled in on myself, clamping my hand over my mouth. I didn't even care that I told Remus that like him.
I deserve nothing. I hurt the people I care about because I can't control my emotions. I can't use my trauma as an excuse when it's the reason I push people away.
"Can I touch you?" Remus asked.
"Yeah," I whispered quietly, not even sure if he heard me. My hand remained clamped over my mouth.
Remus gently pulled my back up and pulled my hand off my mouth. There was concern and shock in his eyes. I don't even want to think about how bad I must look right now.
He gently put his hand on my cheeks and wiped a few of my tears away. I diverted my eyes from him, my face heating up in embarrassment.
"Can I kiss you?" Remus asked softly.
"What?" I whispered, quickly looking back at him.
"I want to kiss you but I'm not sure if you're okay with that right now," He told me.
I nodded 'yes'. Remus leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. Shock and happiness filled me, overriding the sadness.
We kissed for a few seconds before pulling apart. The kiss left me breathless.
"Quinn, I never stopped liking you," Remus admitted.
"I'm sorry it took me so long," I mumbled, looking away again.
"I don't care," He said quickly. "I would've waited forever for this. You needed to be comfortable with the idea first. I'm sorry I tired to force it on you."
"It's okay, I forgive you," I told him.
"Can I kiss you again?" He asked.
"Please," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
Remus wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I blushed and he smirked a bit before leaning down and kissing me again.
We stayed like that for a while. Just kissing and holding onto each other. Remus was holding me gently. Like I was fragile and easy to hurt or break.
"Seems like we missed something important?" Damien's voice came from the hallway.
I squeaked and jumped backwards in shock. I blushed heavily. Remus and I turned to see Damien sanding there with a smirk. Evan was next to him with a huge smile and his eyes wide with happiness.
"How long were you two there?" Remus asked.
"We just got here," Damien answered. "We get a text about Jackson and Issac attacking Quinn and we show up to see you two making out."
I flushed and looked down at my lap. Damien and Evan walked over. Evan was practically bouncing on his feet.
This is the first time I've seen him happy and smiling since his birth parents showed up yesterday.
"It's nothing to be embarrassed of," Damien told me, giving me a quick kiss. Then he looked at my bruised and bloodied face and grew angry. "What did those fuckers do to you?"
My shaking started again. That feeling of total fear came back. My breathing got sporadic again and tears filled my eyes.
But then Evan was hugging me. He hopped up on the counter with me and pulled me in for a tight hug. I looked to Remus to explain.
"I don't now much except what Quinn told me," Remus explained. "I know they jumped him and beat him up. They kept touching him and then they tried to rape him. They told him they were going to kill him."
"I'm so sorry," Evan whispered, his grip tightening around me. Then Damien joined the high, followed by Remus.
We stayed like that for a while with me in the middle. But eventually we pulled apart and Remus handed Damien a first aid kit.
He three worked together to gently wipe the blood from my face and bandage my arms. I showed them where they hit me. Luckily just bruises. No cuts or broken bones.
Eventually we were cuddling on the couch in the living room. I refused to let go of Remus so he held me tightly in his lap. Damien and Remus were resting against each other. Evan technically in Damien's lap but he was trying to hold onto me.
Lots of hugs and cuddles. And more kisses from everyone. This was nice.
"Does this mean that the four of us are now officially dating?" Evan asked. "Please, I want us all to be together."
"Yes, I'd like that a lot," Damien agreed with a smile.
"Agreed," Remus said. "If it's okay with you three."
They all looked at me. Remus looked a little worried. But I smiled and started nodding my head 'yes'.
"I want to be in this relationship," I told them. "All four of us."