luke:
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY AT THE RED PONY AND CONTINUAL SOIRÉE
michael:
what the fuck
max🖤:
he's watching a tv show
calum my bf <3:
oh my
doctor atlas:
what show
luke:
longmire:)
ashton:
is that the wild west cop show
luke:
it's
so much more
than that
max🖤:
sigh
he's been up all night
doctor atlas:
that's bad
max🖤:
good luck convincing him
doctor atlas:
pulling all-nighters, whether it's to watch netflix or study, actually worsens your memory
not to mention staring at a computer screen for like seven hours straight causes eye strain, headaches, and neck + back pain
luke:
whose idea was it to let a doctor in here to call out my bad habits
doctor atlas:
also sleep deprivation can impact your performance and focus
luke:
is that why i have no brain cells
doctor atlas:
yeah probably
luke:
doctor atlas:
god
max🖤:
like i said
good luck convincing him
doctor atlas:
i'm assuming you got no sleep by association
max🖤:
correct
anD I CANT EVEN JUST GO IN ANOTHER ROOM
THE ENTIRE APARTMENT /IS/ /THE ROOM/
michael:
you could go in the bathroom
max🖤:
higydgsfjdhsk
luke:
you could've told me you couldn't sleep 😔
max🖤:
you wouldn't have done anything-
luke:
fair enough
in other news
he's so cute🥺🥺🥺
max🖤:
don't you buy my love by calling me cute
luke:
too late
did it work
max🖤:
yeah
doctor atlas:
YOURE SO WEAK SHDJFJFKDKSK
max🖤:
i know😔
ashton:
LMAOOOOO
him 🥰🥰
doctor atlas:
HUSHTHSJDKFKD
ashton:
DID YOU KNOW ATLAS HAS FRECKLES? HE HAS FRECKLES. LOTS OF THEM. A LOT. I LOVE THEM.
doctor atlas:
STO P IT SHDHFJDKSK🥺
calum my bf <3:
i am so alone
michael:
same
luke:
:)))))))
max🖤:
LUUUUUUUU
michael:
IM S O A L O N E
calum my bf <3:
ashton:
CALUM
calum my bf <3:
I AM
/ALONE/
ASHTON.
A L O N E.
COLD.
LONELY.
TOUCH STARVED.
I HAVENT HAD SEX IN MONTHS.
IM SO LONELY I GET HORNY AT RANDOM TIMES.
doctor atlas:
i appreciate that info thank you
calum my bf <3:
YOURE WELCOME.
doctor atlas:
please, list your other symptoms
calum my bf <3:
DONT PATRONIZE ME, DOCTOR-
WHATS YOUR LAST NAME
doctor atlas:
ryder
calum my bf <3:
THANKS
DONT PATRONIZE ME, DOCTOR RYDER
luke:
dr. ryder*
calum my bf <3:
max🖤:
calum my bf <3:
YOURE ALL SO TERRIBLE TO ME
doctor atlas:
i diagnose you with lonely as shit-itis
i'm filing you a prescription
tinder once a day for a month, or until the symptoms subside
ashton:
i love it when you get all doctor-y
calum my bf <3:
WOW IM DYING OF LONELINESS AND YOURE RLY OUT HERE BEING HORNY, HUH
ashton:
correct
doctor atlas:
i went to harvard medical school for this
michael:
YOU WENT FO HARV AR DMEDICKAHSCOHOLG$.?.?.??
doctor atlas:
yeah
max🖤:
IMFH?vzvz??,,!,???
calum my bf <3:
WHERED YOU GO TO GET YOUR BACHELORS😳
doctor atlas:
you gonna have an aneurysm if i tell you?
calum my bf <3:
PROBABLY, YEAH
doctor atlas:
yale
luke:
WHAT THE FCUk.
michael:
HOLY FUCK
max🖤:
DEADASS?.?.?.?.??
doctor atlas:
all of the dead asses
ashton:
ATLASHDJDKSKHDJFKS
luke:
i?????
why did i not go to yale
i'm still so sad about it
doctor atlas:
why didn't you?
luke:
i dont knowwwwww
i guess i chose ucla because it was easier
i got accepted to yale though
i just never went
still hate myself for it
i guess i also didn't want to spend four years in connecticut
doctor atlas:
lmaooooo
it's really nice there honestly
it's quiet
it's only an hour and a half from nyc as well
ashton:
oh to be young lovers burdened by distance and making weekend road trips back and forth from new york to connecticut, meeting in the middle for lunch on weekdays
michael:
i-
doctor atlas:
what he's saying is that he's a hopeless romantic
ashton:
you would be correct
luke:
i wish i had something else i wanted to do
i hate that i passed up an opportunity at an ivy league school
calum my bf <3:
the privilege that leaked from that sentence😔
luke:
boi fuck you
max🖤:
no he really paid for school like this:
luke:
MAX OH MY GOD
ashton:
FKDJSHSKGKDLS
michael:
this conversation has gone.... so downhill..... so fast
doctor atlas:
you wouldn't be wrong
calum my bf <3:
hey atlas i have a question
doctor atlas:
yeah?
calum my bf <3:
a doctor question
doctor atlas:
go for it
calum my bf <3:
hypothetically, what would one do if they accidentally sliced open their hand while cutting up vegetables
max🖤:
oh god calum
doctor atlas:
how deep is the cut
depending on how deep it is you might be better off just going to the doctor
don't do the er though just stop the bleeding and wait because the er is ~not fun~
calum my bf <3:
it's fairly deep, yeah
luke:
dear god
doctor atlas:
yeah go ahead and apply pressure and just go see a doctor😂
calum my bf <3:
i hate doctors tho
no offense doctor's offices just creep me out tho
doctor atlas:
i'm not teaching you how to give yourself stitches over text
please go to the doctor; i would prefer if you didn't bleed out😂
luke:
me too
calum my bf <3:
ughhhh
fuck
fine
what do i apply pressure with
doctor atlas:
paper towels or a rag or something
how bad is the bleeding
calum my bf <3:
it's not that horrible
doctor atlas:
just use a dish towel
pls don't bleed out
calum my bf <3:
thank u
doctor atlas:
ofc
luke:
i love how we've all just started consulting atlas if we have some kind of medical issue
max🖤:
right
michael:
HEY ATLAS WANNA SEE MY INFECTED WOUND
doctor atlas:
your what
michael:
KSHDHFKFKSSL
yeah i cut my arm at work and it's infected
doctor atlas:
did you go to the doctor??
michael:
yeah
doctor atlas:
did they give you antibiotics?,.!.??
michael:
no
doctor atlas:
what the fuck
okay wash your hands with soap and warm water before you start
run the cut under warm water for a few minutes and clean the area around it with soap
do you have any bacitracin
michael:
any fucking what
doctor atlas:
neosporin
michael:
oh
yes
doctor atlas:
okay put that on there and let it air out for a little while
then wrap it in gauze
and change it once a day so it doesn't get nasty
michael:
bet
thank u dr. rider
doctor atlas:
anytime
ashton:
oh my god you're all using my boyfriend and your personal physician
luke:
i'm not >:-(
max🖤:
give it time you'll accidentally chop off a limb or something
ashton:
LMAO
luke:
>:-(