The date was awful,we went out to eat and he spent half of it on his phone,making me kiss him at the end-Cold and ahed,that was everything I all-ready knew with life.
I sit with David,with a desperate urge to break through the doors.
"Is there anything you would like to talk about Emma?" He asks "Anything you feel like getting off your chest,"
"What,can I say anything?" I ask.
He nods. "Wether it's right or wrong,that's what I'm here for,"
I sigh "I don't think there is a right or wrong anymore. Only horrible and not-quite-so horrible,don't you?"
"I never thought of life that way," he shrugs "Let me ask you Emma,you heard of Winston Churchill?"
"How dumb do you think I am?" I demand "Of course I do!"
"Well he once said 'If you're going through hell,keep going," he tells me.
"Well yeah-I've kept going,but there's no way out!" I snap "I have a war inside of me,sometimes it keeps me alive but mostly it threatens to destroy me,and I want it to! Life doesn't run like a clockwork David,you being you should know that already. Life is like how those rock bands I like sing it,life is something positive people say is perfect. But mine is and feels like it never will-So I don't think I should live it anymore,"
"I am not giving up on you and I am not leaving you," David says as he awkwardly takes hold of my hands "Now people in life and yourself blame you but that's not your fault-You can't spend the rest of your life being afraid of people rejecting you,you have to start by not rejecting yourself. You don't deserve it,and you come here whenever you fall apart,or whenever you feel alone because I care about you,you promise me?"
"Promise," I squeak,giving him a smile.
Okay,it wasn't a smile exactly,not quite a happy expression but almost-And for now... Almost good enough.
I knock on Thomas when I get home and head to his garden where we sit on a large bench,kinda like a swing which we rock back and forth.
"You feeling better?" He asks.
"I'm great!" I say.
"How did yours and Josh's' date go last night?" He asks.
"Meh,pretty good," I lie "Why?"
"Doesn't matter," he shrugs "Umm... Yeah,I.. I.. I was out last night,and well,I've got a girlfriend,"