When knocks on your door finally echoed in your apartment, a smile immediately formed on your lips and your heart was filled with joy before you even opened the door. As soon as Jungkook's eyes shined in front of you in the dark, butterflies flew in your stomach without him doing anything.
"Come in," you whispered, not wanting to disturb your neighbors, and he tiptoed inside with a grin.
Once the door was locked behind you and the lights turned on so that you could see each other, he pulled you in a hug, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, his nose tickling your skin.
A moment later, you were cuddling on your couch, soft music playing in the background as you talked about anything. Just like you used to.
At one point, a silence settled between you and you relaxed in his arms, feeling his calm heartbeat under the palm of your hand resting on his chest. He was tracing patterns on your back mindlessly. It felt intimate.
You wanted to kiss him.
You looked up and your eyes met his pretty ones. His hand on your back stilled, and his heartbeat increased under your hand. You gave him a soft smile, your eyes sparkling, and his heartbeat calmed down.
You glanced at his lips, and a faint blush spread on your cheeks. You knew he understood, because the tension between you got heavier suddenly. Your every sense was more sensitive now, your nose filled with his scent, your ears filled with the sound of his heavy breath, your eyes filled with the sight of his beauty —you were only missing the touch of his lips against yours and his taste in your mouth.
His eyes left yours to stare at your lips, sending a shiver down your spine. You felt loved. You felt desired. You closed your eyes, melting in this feeling. When you opened them again, you were longing for him more than ever.
And slowly, almost unconsciously, your faces got closer to each other, little by little. You closed your eyes again, anticipation growing in your stomach. However, while you were craving to close the small gap between your lips, he stopped just before your mouths sealed together. You held your breath, your heart beating out of your chest.
"Y/N," he breathed out and you opened your eyes to look into his hesitant ones. An unspoken thought floated between the two of you, and now that you knew how he was probably feeling, you didn't shy away.
You waited for a few seconds, looking deep into his eyes while your heart seemed to beat faster and faster with time passing. He was gazing at you as if the rest of the world had disappeared and it was just you, you and you. A shiver ran down your spine.
"I need you," you eventually let out with a shaky voice, sounding more vulnerable than what you had expected. He hesitated one more second, but eventually pressed his lips against yours slowly.
And it was so gentle, so soft, he was so careful, it made you want to cry.
However, as your lips started moving together, the both of you exploring the sensations again, a salty taste invaded your mouth slowly. You opened your eyes only to realize he was crying quietly, tears running down his face without him doing anything to stop them. His hands were resting on your waist carefully, as if you were glass and he was afraid to break you. As if one wrong move could make you shatter.
"Jungkook," you breathed out, breaking the kiss. He opened his red eyes, unconsciously leaning towards you again as if he was already missing your lips.
"Why did you stop ?" he whispered, looking at you with something in his eyes you eventually recognized was fear. He seemed afraid you didn't want to continue —as if you could ever change your mind when talking about Jungkook.
"Jungkook, you're crying," you said softly and he looked at you with thousands of emotions fighting each other on his face. He touched his cheeks slowly, his hands leaving your waist.
"It's okay," he took a deep breath, closing his eyes to contain his tears that continued to flow without him making a sound. "I'm fine, I promise."
"What's wrong ?" you asked quietly as your hands found their way to his cheeks. He let you remove his hands from his face before you softly wiped his tears, your skin on his sending electricity through your body.
"I-" he stopped, his voice cracking slightly. "I just never thought I'd get to feel this again."
For some reason, it felt like his words held all his insecurities, all his doubts, all his sorrow. And for some reason, it felt like by telling you this, he just let go of everything that kept him from being happy. It felt like he just let go of every pain.
And as he leaned in to kiss you again, it knocked the wind out of him and tears started streaming down his face all over again, because he still hadn't completely taken in the fact he was feeling all of this when he had lost hope years ago.
This time, his kiss was less gentle and more desperate, more demanding.
And it felt as if it was the first time again. The first time his lips met yours. The first time your tongues danced together. The first time his hands traveled on your body.
It had been so long it felt like the first time you fell in love with each other. But everything was different from the first time.
When you pulled on his hair and he let out a moan, it still triggered something in you, what happened with Hoseok always in the back of your mind. You didn't say anything, focusing on him and him only. On the way he was so overwhelming, on the way your mind couldn't think straight when Jungkook kissed you.
But when his hands started making their way under your clothes, your body stiffened. You knew he felt it, because he slowly took his hands off you, and his lips became less demanding. He eventually broke the kiss. You tried to kiss him again, not opening your eyes to avoid having to explain anything.
"Baby ?" he breathed out, and it sent butterflies flying in your stomach. You rested your forehead against his, still keeping your eyes closed, as if it could prevent him from asking any question. "Do you want to stop here ?"
No.
Of course not. You didn't want to ever stop, but what you wanted and what you felt capable of were two different things. And at this moment, you didn't feel comfortable with him touching your skin there, or him seeing you without your clothes. Stupid scars. But his voice was so soft, so careful when asking you that, it made you feel less guilty. Like it was okay if you just stopped there —and it was.
"We don't have to do anything more if you don't want to. Just being with you is enough," he started again seeing your lack of response, his voice even softer than before. You nodded a little, your eyes still closed.
"Can we just cuddle ?" you whispered, your cheeks reddening. You knew you probably just ruined the moment, you knew he was probably expecting something, but right now, you couldn't give it to him.
"Of course baby," you felt a smile in his voice so you finally opened your eyes, and his own were looking at you with so much love it almost took your breath away. "Come here," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around you tightly, leaving butterfly kisses on your forehead.
And that's how you fell asleep, cuddling on the couch, a smile on your faces and your hearts full of love.
-
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"Do you think your hair is long enough to do a man bun ?"
"What ?" Jungkook laughed, shaking his head while you ran your hands through his hair, wondering how he'd look with his hair tied.
"I promise you it would look good ! Please let me try," you pouted, crossing your arms. He smiled at you softly, his arms making their way around you and pulling you close.
"Guys ?"
"It's not long enough," he said with a low voice, giving you a peck.
"Does it mean you've already tried ?" you asked, your eyes sparkling in excitation. You were convinced he'd look incredibly good with a man bun, and to think he had already tried to do one made it even hotter.
"Hey guys ?"
"I might have," he whispered as he gave you another kiss, a little longer this time.
"I want to see," you said on the same tone, your focus leaving his hair to go on his lips.
"Guys !"
Taehyung's voice made the two of you flinch, Jungkook letting go of you. Your best friend was looking at you with a bored face, as if he was already used to Jungkook and you being love birds even though it was the first time in years he spent time alone with the two of you as a couple.
"I just got a call from a friend, I have to go," he said, hugging you two quickly, "See you another day —and don't do anything questionable here, please."
You felt your cheeks reddening as he winked at Jungkook before walking away. As soon as Taehyung was out of sight, Jungkook turned back to you with a little smile, pulling you close to him again.
"So, what were we saying ?"
You didn't answer, your mind more focused on his lips catching yours than his words.
———
i think i won't write much more guys, the end is coming :)