Private message Tweek T >>> Craig
Tweek T: it's all coming together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Craig: what?
Craig: who taught you to make a Lenny Face?
Tweek T: Kenny likes Kyle
Craig: what?
Tweek T: He's got a fat crush still
Craig: oh
Craig: oh
Craig: damn
Craig: now we just have to get them together?
Tweek T: yup
Tweek T: but that might be hard so I'm asking Stan for help
Craig: good idea Kyle's as stubborn as FUCK at times
Craig: I mean all the time
Craig: speaking of Kyle, he looked a little off in my physics class
Tweek T: yeah I noticed that he was late with Cartman this morning
Craig: ask Stan about that too babe
Tweek T: can do ;)
Craig: ━╤デ╦︻(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)
Tweek T: wowzers
~
Group chat Fuck Cartman
<TooMuchPressure is online>
<Craig is online>
<Fatboy is online>
<Gingerbread is online>
<KennyMcDick is online>
KennyMcDick: funny isn't it class time?
Fatboy: oh I never noticed. What a shaaame
Craig: yeah, I can't stop now
<Kyle's Bro is online>
Kyle's Bro: if you can't beat them join them
Craig: *raises glass*
KennyMcDick: Cartman and Craig expected, but Tweek??? KYLE?????
KennyMcDick: I am w o u n d e d
TooMuchPressure: gah! I actually wanted to ask how Kyle was that's all! Craig said that everyone texts in class
Fatboy: except Wendy
Kyle's Bro: no she just studied until she sleeps god damn
Craig: I wish I had her dedication
KennyMcDick: I remember when I had some self pride in myself
KennyMcDick: *stares into the distance*
Kyle's Bro: Wait you wanted to ask about Kyle?
TooMuchPressure: yeah he seemed kinda off
Kyle's Bro: yeah
Fatboy: he almost fell asleep in the car this morning
KennyMcDick: I'm worried about him dude
Gingerbread: that's nice and all, but I'm fine
Craig: yeah that's easy enough to say on texts
Gingerbread: I'm fine
Gingerbread: honestly
KennyMcDick: why are you texting in class? You never do that
Gingerbread: I'm in the bathroom
KennyMcDick: oh
Kyle's Bro: in the bathroom?
Gingerbread: I was taking a piss! Nothing else! Geez
Fatboy: Ok no need to get so feisty Kyle
Gingerbread: I'm surprised you know what feisty means
Fatboy: AY JEW IM NOT ILITERATE
Kyle's Bro: Hmm
KennyMcDick: I think you went back on your point
Fatboy: no I didn't I meant to do that
Craig: yeeaaaahh
KennyMcDick: riiiiighhhtt
<Butter_my_nutters is online>
KennyMcDick: now butters? The innocents are falling prey to us scoundrels
Kyle's Bro: yeah we did so much shit when we were younger
Gingerbread: just last week we gathered up all the fish in the lake and released them into the ocean Stan
KennyMcDick: Ah yes, when we were young...
Fatboy: I kept one and ate if for my tea
Kyle's Bro: CARTMAN NOOOO
Butter_my_nutters: that wasn't very nice
KennyMcDick: why are you here butters
Butter_my_nutters: I just thought I'd tell you folks that you shouldn't be texting when we have classes on
Butter_my_nutters: so I'm gonna go now and hope you listen to my words
<Butter_my_nutters left the chat>
Fatboy: I really hate butters
<TacoMASTER is online>
TacoMASTER: tell me about it
Kyle's Bro: WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE TEXTING IN CLASS
TooMuchPressure: I've just been reading so I don't count
Craig: too innocent still
Craig: but that's a good thing ;)
Fatboy: gay
KennyMcDick: gay is great
Craig: dis the gay and I'll come and kill you
KennyMcDick: this is a showdown I want to happen
Fatboy: I'd like to see you try
KennyMcDick: Aw man fight time
TacoMASTER: AWWWWWW MAAAAANNNNNN
<That_one_black_guy is online>
That_one_black_guy: I was summoned when I heard there was a fight
TooMuchPressure: fights make me nervous
Craig: you fought me
TooMuchPressure: yea fair point
KennyMcDick: @Gingerbread
Craig: why?
KennyMcDick: I'm kinda worried he hasn't talked in a while
TooMuchPressure: back to class?
KennyMcDick: he would've left the chat
Kyle's Bro: he's got a point
Fatboy: there's only so long you can piss for
Fatboy: @Gingerbread
Kyle's Bro: Kyle?
~
Kyle heaved, clutching the toilet bowl with white knuckles. His stomach clenched painfully, and line of spittle dangled from his lips into the bowl. Panting, he leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes. His phone vibrated.
Trembling fingers scooped it off the bathroom floor and into his palm. The sudden brightness made his head pound and he groaned, squinting. With a small sigh, he scrolled through the messages with glassy eyes.
~
KennyMcDick: @Gingerbread answer please
Fatboy: don't keep us waiting Jew
Gingerbread: I was washing my hands
Kyle's Bro: for that long?
Gingerbread: you know what I'm like with these bathrooms dude. They carry so many germs it makes me want to hurl
KennyMcDick: can't argue there
Fatboy: geez Jew everyone else left the chat it was getting so boring
TooMuchPressure: nope I'm still here
Fatboy: you don't count
KennyMcDick: shut up fatbbbooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiii
Gingerbread: Tweek ignore Cartman he's a whiny lil bitch
Gingerbread: on that note I'm going back to class
Gingerbread: don't miss too much in lessons
<Gingerbread has left the chat>
TooMuchPressure: bye guys
<TooMuchPressure has left the chat>
Fatboy: we need to talk
Kyle's Bro: agreed
KennyMcDick: agreed
<KennyMcDick has left the chat>
<Fatboy has left the chat>
<Kyle's Bro has left the chat>
~
Group chat Kyle's babysitters
<KennyMcDick is online>
<Kyle's Bro is online>
<Fatboy is online>
<KennyMcDick changed the chat name to We Need To Talk About Kyle>
Kyle's Bro: Cartman did you see Kyle eat anything this morning when you picked him up
Fatboy: no why
Kyle's Bro: well he said he only just got up
KennyMcDick: so you think he hasn't eaten anything?
Fatboy: ain't he diabetic?
Kyle's Bro: yeah
KennyMcDick: and if he is ill...
Kyle's Bro: Kyle needs that energy from breakfast.
Kyle's Bro: he needs to eat
Fatboy: shit
KennyMcDick: even Tweek noticed he looked off
Fatboy: double shit
Kyle's Bro: we need to corner him at lunch
Fatboy: stupid Jew won't take a day off for some reason
Kyle's Bro: Kyle's like that
KennyMcDick: he doesn't like a big fuss
Fatboy: lil fucking Jew shitfaced asshat
KennyMcDick: so what class is he in now?
Kyle's Bro: I dunno actually
Kyle's Bro: but it's lunch next to we'll just wait for him
Fatboy: I'll tackle him whist you pin him to a chair
KennyMcDick: good idea Cartman
Kyle's Bro: Kenny can I ask you something?
KennyMcDick: shoot?
Kyle's Bro: do you have a crush on Kyle?
Fatboy: HA GAY
KennyMcDick: WTF where did this come from I thought we were talking about Kyle's health????
Kyle's Bro: I know bad timing
Kyle's Bro: I just thought that
KennyMcDick: I think he's quite
KennyMcDick: quite cute
KennyMcDick: he's nice
KennyMcDick: and I love being around him
Fatboy: this is kinda weird hearing this
Kyle's Bro: so it was true
KennyMcDick: how did you know?!
Kyle's Bro: guessed
KennyMcDick: r i g h t
Kyle's Bro: shit Wendy's just texted me shit
Fatboy: what?
KennyMcDick: what did she say
Kyle's Bro: I asked her about Kyle because she's in his class and she says he hasn't even turned up
Fatboy: shit
KennyMcDick: we need to find him something's bad about this
Kyle's Bro: she said that she hasn't seen him for the entire hour
Fatboy: so he was lying when he said he went to the bathroom?!!
KennyMcDick: Jesus fucking Christ
Kyle's Bro: he wouldn't miss class for anything
Kyle's Bro: something's really wrong
Kyle's Bro: I'm phoning him
<Kyle's Bro left the chat>
KennyMcDick: come one Kyle
Fatboy: why is he such an idiot
Fatboy: fucking Jews
Fatboy: hurry up stan!
KennyMcDick: Please be a misunderstanding...
<Kyle's Bro is online>
Kyle's Bro: he's not picking up
Kyle's Bro: he's not fucking picking up!!!
KennyMcDick: try again
KennyMcDick: or I will.
Kyle's Bro: Wait he's phoning me
<Kyle's Bro has left the chat>
Fatboy: thank Christ
~
"Kyle where are you? I'm so worried!"
"Shit Stan..."
"What is it?"
"I don't feel that great...could you come and find me? Please? I really don't feel too good."
"Where are you?"
"In the bathroom...top floor by the computer lab..."
"Ok. Just hold on Kyle and stay on the line, yeah?"
"Mmm."
"Is this why you were late today?"
"I didn't feel too bad then...I just thought I didn't get enough sleep but now I feel like shit..."
"Have you thrown up?"
"A few times..."
"I'm almost there – do you want anyone else here, or just me?"
"*coughing* Kenny maybe?"
"Ok."
"Stan?"
"Yeah?"
"I really don't like getting sick...each time I do it always turns serious...I don't wanna go back to the hospital..."
"You won't Kyle I promise."
~
<Kyle's Bro is online>
Kyle's Bro: he's sick and wants to go home
Fatboy: knew it stupid Jew
Kyle's Bro: Kenny he wants you here too
KennyMcDick: he does? Where are you guys?
Kyle's Bro: top floor toilet, by the computers
KennyMcDick: on my way
<KennyMcDick has left the chat>
Kyle's Bro: Cartman could you go and tell the office what's going on?
Fatboy: yeah
Fatboy: I'll give us a lift to his house if you like seeing as I'm the only one that can drive
Kyle's Bro: that's great thanks
Kyle's Bro: shit Kyle's parents are away
Fatboy: fuck! Ike?
Kyle's Bro: Kyle's looking after him. I'll go and collect him from elementary when it's time
Fatboy: fuck Kyle's parents
Kyle's Bro: yep
<Kyle's Bro has left the chat>
<Fatboy has left the chat>
~
Kenny look the steps two at a time, almost tripping over his own feet. His bag drummed against his thigh as he ran, but the pain of it didn't register to him.
His foot caught on the last stair, and he fell onto his knees, cursing loudly. Kenny pulled himself up and dashed down the hall, heart thudding rhythmically under his dirty orange parka. His trainers squeaked as he turned the corner, slowly opening the bathroom door.
A toilet cubicle was open halfway, revealing a very worried Stan staring at someone, soothing them. Kenny knocked on the door to gain attention, wincing as he heard the sound of reaching.
"Hey." Stan looked at Kenny briefly and shuffled over, and Kenny hissed through his teeth as Kyle came into view.
The red-head looked entirely different from that morning, most notably the giant bags that hung under his eyes, and his pale, clammy skin. The teen was trembling, panting hard as he leaned onto Stan.
Kenny knelt down in the bow quite full cubicle, brushing back Kyle's hair with his hand. Kyle opened his eyes, once bright green now glassy and clouded.
"Hey." Kenny murmured. His crush gave a brief smile before gagging, bending his head over the bowl.
"He hasn't eaten anything yet." Stan whispered to Kenny, his face creased with worry. Kenny gave a short nod, realising why exactly Kyle had gone downhill so quickly.
"Let's get him home." Kenny said. Stan nodded, murmuring something to Kyle.
"Come on. Let's go." Kenny smiled at Kyle reassuringly as he slowly got up. He swayed and Kenny caught him before he could hit the floor.
"Thanks." His crush looked half asleep, eyes closing for a few moments too long.
"No biggie." Kenny replied, rubbing Kyle's back.
~
Group chat Fuck Cartman
<Kyle's Bro is online>
<Fatboy is online>
Kyle's Bro: @everyone Kyle's feeling ill so we are taking him home
Fatboy: can he walk or do I have to carry his ass into the car
Kyle's Bro: he's walking right now, but Kenny's basically carrying him
Fatboy: that bad?
Kyle's Bro: yeah
<That_one_black_guy is online>
<Craig is online>
<Butter_my_nutters is online>
<TacoMASTER is online>
<TooMuchPressure is online>
Craig: damn
Butter_my_nutters: tell him I wish him a get well
That_one_black_guy: I'll bring back Kenny's books, he kinda left some behind when he ran out of the classroom
Kyle's Bro: thanks
TooMuchPressure: do you want me to help and go to the store or something?
Kyle's Bro: yeah that would be good. Maybe some aspirin?
Craig: and lucozade
Kyle's Bro: yeah thanks guys
<Fatboy has left the chat>
<Kyle's Bro has left the chat>
TacoMASTER: I'm gonna make a get well card
Butter_my_nutters: I don't mind being the get well card again
That_one_black_guy: I'm leaving at lunch to give these books back anyone coming?
TacoMASTER: sure I'll always bunk with you
Craig: I've already done a bunk
<Craig has left the chat>
TooMuchPressure: I don't wanna miss class I'm already doing bad sorry
Butter_my_nutters: same
That_one_black_guy: that's fine, don't worry
<TacoMASTER has left the chat>
<That_one_black_guy has left the chat>
<TooMuchPressure has left the chat>
Butter_my_nutters: get well soon Kyle
<Butter_my_nutters has left the chat>