Today we're in Paris, since Ruel has a show here in a couple days, but for now we have the next 3 days to sight see and spend our time the way choose. Nate scheduled everything to make sure Ruel has a small break, since he's been under stress from the nonstop traveling and performing. We know he's happy and loves what he does, but he still needs to let himself rest and take time for himself.
"BABY LOOK" He shouts, causing me to whip my head in his direction, startled by his yell. I instantly roll my eyes as I look at him, seeing him pointing at a bag of gourmet Cheetos. He stares at me with a pleading look in his eyes, practically one second away from dropping on his knees to beg for them. I let out a sigh before making my way into the shop, knowing he won't quit the dramatics until he gets them.
"Have I ever told you just how much I love you? Because I really fucking love you" he whispers in my ear, leaving a small kiss where his lips just so happened to brush. I blush and lean over to give him a small peck, not wanting to kiss him too much and get Cheeto dust on my lips. He instantly pulls my into a hug, with his arms wrapped around me, but making sure to not crush the Cheetos and not get his orange fingers all over me.
"I love you too bubs" I mumble back to him, my voice coming out muffled from the way my face is shoved into his chest.
He finishes his snack and finds a restroom to wash his hands in, claiming that he needs them clean or I won't let him touch me. I laugh as he makes his way into the restroom, knowing he was right about me not wanting to let him touch me with his gross orange fingers. He makes his way back out and immediately intertwines our fingers, bringing the back of my hand up to press a light kiss.
We make our way back to the hotel, since it's nearing dinner time, and neither of us feel like walking around much longer since we've been out since 9 this morning. We walk in a peaceful silence, watching the hustle and bustle of the city, staring in awe at the beauty of it and it's people. We start to get closer to the hotel when he stops and stares at something, I turn my head to see what he's looking at, only to be left with a light blush at what it is.
"Ruel fucking stop" I hiss out, hoping people don't notice the direction our eyes are pointing at. He snaps his head back to me with a blush coating his cheeks, running a hand through his hair before ultimately letting it rub the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Sorry, but can you blame me? You'd look really good in that though" he says, whispering the last bit to me so that those around us can't hear. His eyes still trained on the lingerie set in the stores window that we just so happened to be passing by.
"Shhh someone might hear you!" I say with my face turning red at his blunt statement, watching him smirk at me because I gave the exact reaction he wanted. He tugs my hand towards the shop with a teasing look on his face, causing me to glare and pull his body back to mine. He lets out a laugh before giving me a kiss on the side of my head, slowly tugging me back to the hotel.
I follow after him, our hands still entwined, and a red blush covering my face. It's not that I wouldn't want to wear something like that for him, it's more of that's something you'd wear when you're going to actually sleep together. We haven't gone all the way yet, definitely tried more things and learned about each other's bodies, but I just still haven't been ready for the full experience yet.
We make it to our hotel room in silence, him just looking around and watching all the people, whereas I'm thinking about whether or not I'm truly ready. As I watch him open the door and look at me with a small boyish grin, I realize that I'm actually ready to truly give myself to the boy I love. We make it into the room and he immediately goes to the suitcases and pulls out a hoodie for me and a pair of sweats for him. We both change right there, with me noticing the way his eyes sweep over my body, causing me to get a slightly excited but nervous feeling.
"What should we watch?" He mumbles out, scrolling through the guide on the tv once we both get comfortable on the bed. I glance at it before giving a small shrug as I lay with my head on his chest and our legs twisted together. He lets out a chuckle and lets one hand rest on my lower back as he scrolls before finally finding a movie.
"What'd you put on?" I whisper, playing with the drawstrings on his sweats, feeling him tense up when my fingers brushed his lower abdomen. He watches me with a perplexed look before giving me a small smirk.
"Are you making moves on me?" He laughs out, causing me to blush and move so that I can bury my face into his neck where he can't see it. I feel his body shake as he laughs, before he slowly sobers up and puts both of his hands on my back, slowly sliding them down until they rest on the back of my upper thighs, touching the bare skin that the hoodie isn't covering. Before I can even reply, his hands slide up the hoodie, resting on my underwear clad ass, leaving me a blushing nervous mess, also freaking out about the fact that I'm wearing underwear with smiley faces on them.
"If you are, then don't stop. I definitely don't mind letting my beautiful girlfriend seduce me" He says into my ear with a cheeky grin slowly taking over his face. I let out a gasp as he grips my ass and sits up, having me straddle him as stare at each other, only a few inches apart. Noticing that he also seems to be a little nervous, from the way his hands are trembling.
"I want to say something but I don't know how to say it" I mumble, nervous about what might happen, and then embarrassed to even ask. Ruel notices my awkward and shy demeanor and gives me a soft smile before leaning in and giving me a kiss.
"I won't judge you bub, I'm all ears" He says leaning his forehead against mine, with the softest look he could possibly give me. Seeing the look on his face makes me turn to complete mush since he's the most caring and gentle boy I've ever met.
"I don't know I just kinda want to do something, like you know" I mumble out awkwardly hoping he catches on to what I'm saying. He gives me a confused stare and slightly tilts his head to the side, trying to read me and see what it is that I want, but turning up blank.
"Well what is it?" He gets out bluntly before I crash our lips together, causing him to fall back in surprise at the force of it. He instantly kisses back and lets one hand rest on my waist, while the other softly holds the back of my neck, I clumsily push my hips down to grind against him, feeling him tense up before he pulls away.
"B-baby what're you doing?" He stutters out, shocked by how bold my action was. I instantly clam up thinking I did something wrong, and that he didn't want what I wanted. He notices the sudden change on my face and instantly cradles my face before pressing soft kisses all over it.
"Wait, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I need to know what you want, since I don't want to assume and pressure you into something, that's all." He explains, leaving a soft kiss on the tip of my nose, softly rubbing circles into the bare skin of my waist, since he slipped his hands back under the hoodie again. I stare down at my hands that rest against his bare chest, praying for the ground to swallow me up from how awkward I feel.
"I uhm want you" I mumble out, my face instantly heating up and scrunching from how embarrassed I felt. Ruel immediately freezes and stares at me with a blush coating his cheeks and wide round eyes. I make a move to get off of him when he tightens his hold on me and sends me a shy smile.
"I need you to be clear with me on what you want princess, I don't want to assume and make you do something you'll regret." He says with nothing but pure love on his face, with a hint of nervousness in his eyes. I tense up knowing what he wants me to say, but feeling scared about having to be so bold about it.
"I know I told you that I'm not ready for that, but it's been a couple months now.. I uhm feel more comfortable about it and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd like to uh you know like sleep with you?" I mumble out, cringing after every couple of words, before ending it like a question since I don't know how to initiate something so intimate. He looks up at me with a shy look on his face before leaning up and giving me a light kiss before placing little kisses all over my face.
"Heyy don't be getting awkward with me now, I'm happy that you're being open with me about what you want. Are you sure you're ready? Because baby we don't have to rush into this" he says with concern, feeling nervous that he's pressuring me into wanting this. I give him a nod and lean down to kiss him when he stops me and gives me a little smirk.
"As much as I'd like to start, I need you to say it verbally for me darlin, I need to hear it from you to make sure you want this." He says softly, knowing I'm already feeling jittery about having to be so open emotionally. I give a soft nod in return before taking a deep breath in.
"Yes, I want to have sex? I don't know what to say like uhm I want to sleep with you? I don't know I feel like sex is a strong word like uhm" I start to ramble from the nerves of the situation before Ruel cuts me off with a laugh. I freeze upon hearing his chuckles, staring at him with doe like eyes.
"Baby calm down, that was all I needed to hear, and it's not a strong word since it is what we're going to do." He whispers into my ear with a smirk, causing me to turn my head away with a bright blush. He instantly turns my head back to his, making me look into his green eyes, that are way darker than normal.
"I'm nervous" I mumble out, when he leans in to kiss me, he pulls back a little and gives me the softest smile he can. He brushes a strand of hair behind me ear before leaning forward and giving my forehead a small kiss.
"Honestly uhm I'm nervous too, but we can like be nervous together" He mutters with a boyish but charming smile, as a small blush causes his cheeks and ears to heat up. I give a little grin back before leaning in, and finally giving myself to the love of my life.
Limbs tangle together, hands awkwardly fumble to find places to rest and grab, teeth clash against each other in rushed kisses, jerky awkward movements are made, but most importantly a deeper intimate connection is made with the boy who owns my heart.
We lay there in silence, looking out the window and feeling complete peace with one another. I feel him drawing lazy shapes on my back before leaning a little and kissing the side of my head. I tilt my head up to lightly peck his lips, pulling away to flash him a smile.
"How was it? I uhm hope it was how you wanted it to be, sorry if it wasn't that good. I'm also learning how this works" he whispers, not wanting to break the peaceful environment we are in, but also feeling nervous that he didn't do well for his first time. I press a kiss to his chest before laying my head back down.
"It was perfect. By perfect I mean awkward, soft, and absolutely clumsy. Just the way it was meant to be, we get to learn all of it together and that's what made it perfect. I mean you weren't the only one having their first time" I tell him truthfully, letting him know that I didn't want a typical perfect first time movie sex scene. I wanted him and all his clumsiness and lanky body trying to figure out where to go, because that's why I love him. So we bumped heads a couple of times and fumbled around more than a few times, it was perfectly imperfect.
He smiles and just looks out the window, as I look at him. It might have been a little awkward and we might have not known what we were doing most of the time, but that's how it's supposed to be. I lay in his arms, watching the twinkling lights in his eyes, thankful to be in the city of love.