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Cold shame fills Luna's heart more nights than most. Though she has never been her mother's favorite, it drives a wooden stake in her chest to bare her chiding alone. When her father was alive, he would come to her defense, and Luna felt more unbreakable around him.
Now however, she only feels emptiness. She wishes her father were here.
Of course, her mother only brings her on these trips to make it seem like they are a happy family. And any suspicious noble would be smart enough to know not to stick their nose where it doesn't belong. Still, Luna wonders what the high king thinks.
She huffs. It shouldn't matter what he thinks. She shouldn't be thinking about him at all.
Luna sits at her writing desk and opens her stationary box. She extracts a jar of ink and a quill, deciding that perhaps a small entry in her diary will calm her mind.
Yet as soon as her quill hits the parchment, it takes a mind of its own, and Luna begins to draw the picture of a lion, large and grand. It's stands firm in front of a little girl. She's crying. Her tears grow larger as they reach the grass, and Luna watches her own tears fall onto the page. They blur the lines of the Lion's back paws, until there's nothing but gray smudges.
Frustration hits Luna's chest. Like an ugly little creature crawling it's way up her esophagus; getting stuck. She chokes back a sob — reminds herself to get a hold of herself.
A lady doesn't lose control. A lady doesn't show her negative emotions. A lady doesn't draw escapism art and then ruin it with tears. A lady doesn't ruin her sisters chances of getting married, and she certainly doesn't dance with the king in secret.
Someone knocks on the door.
Luna scrambles to hide the drawings and wipe her tears. She stands up and rubs at her wet cheeks. She clears her throat. "Come in."
It's the one person that Luna is afraid to be seen with. King Peter peeks his head into the room. "Forgive me," he says, voice softer than the wind. His eyes dart around the room, tenderly, as if he wants to memorize every out of place object.
Luna bows her head. "It's fine— Your Majesty. I, uh, I'm sorry about the mess."
Peter quirks a quick smile. His eyes form into gentle crescents, like he's about to approach a tender subject. "No mess," he says, eyes clearly searching her window seat, where her father's coat is still there, half-hidden behind an embroidered pillow. His brows furrow, and he snaps his gaze back towards Luna. "I wanted to ask if you felt ill. Since you missed breakfast and lunch with us."
"I have it in here," Luna says, then she immediately wishes she hadn't. "I mean, I asked to have it here. I like the privacy."
Peter steps into the room and closes the door behind him. "Oh. Well, Lucy missed you. She's a bit anxious to become your friend."
Luna brightens, and she's unable to keep the anxious feeling for long when Peter says those words. "Really? I want to speak to her as well. And her faun friend."
"Lord Tumnus?" Peter chuckles. "He seemed to be adverse to your sister this morning. I'll have to tell him that you like him."
"I think he's lovely," Luna offers. She wants to say more. She wants to say that fauns seem to have the most free spirits, and she wishes she had the same freedom. She wants to say that fauns remind her of flowers and meadows and the loveliest of dances.
"I invited your sister and your mother to a bonfire party tonight. There are no nobles; just narnians, but I thought they might like to come. That is— I thought they might extend the invitation to you."
"They didn't say anything." Luna's eyes capture the ruby red satin cummerbund around Peter's broad waist. She scratches her forearm. "I'm not really a party person, so..."
"Well, if you become one," Peter hands her a small envelope. "I promise I won't let them make you work this time."
Luna's eyes widen. "They didn't make me," she lies to him. "I wanted to."
Peter nods. "Well, in case you don't this time. Just come as you are. It's by the ocean, you know."
Excitement fills Luna's lungs at the thought of dancing with a faun. On the beach, nonetheless!
If her father could only see her, getting a royal invite by the high king himself. She falters. "I can't..." If my mother found out, "I'm not a narnian really... I won't ruin it for you guys."
Peter frowns. A heavy furrow is in his eyebrows once again, as he once overs the room. He inhales slowly. "I want you to be comfortable. So if you decline, I understand. But please think about it for more than a moment."
Luna nods. She wants to tell him that this sounds most exciting. She wants to join and sing and dance. She wants to finally feel the sea at her feet; the world at her disposal. Perhaps she could flag down a ship and travel just like her father used to. She'd be a seafarer and she'd be free to be whatever she'd like.
But if her mother ever finds out, it'll be worse. And deep down, Luna can't help but wonder if this is all a test. Perhaps her mother put Peter up to this, and if she says yes, she'll get in trouble.
She'd rather just stay in her room and pretend she has already been to the sea. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I really don't think I could."
Something dims in Peter's blue eyes. The storm turns gray and he blinks it away, though not quick enough for Luna to miss. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to disobey you."
"It was a request, not an order." Peter smiles. He bows his head and peaks up at Luna from behind his lashes. "Never feel obligated, Lady Luna."
Luna feels her fingertips warm at the sight, and even more at his words. He sounds almost... hopeful that she'll reconsider. She thinks about reaching out to touch him, but the thought gets caught behind her chest. She holds back and clears her throat. "I'll think about it."
"Good." Peter brightens just slightly, and just eyes trail down Luna's face.
Before Luna can register what is happening, Peter reaches his hand out and strokes her cheek with his thumb. "You've got a bit of ink, just there. Do you write?"
Luna can still feel the warm roughness of his thumb. She opens her mouth to answer, but she is afraid he won't like the answer. "I draw."
"Maybe you'll let me see sometime?" Peter cocks his head to the side, all innocent and nothing like how a mighty king should act.
Luna likes it.
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sorry i haven't updated in awhile,, i was afraid no one was reading.
pls let me know what you liked/disliked about the chapter!
and what you would like to see!
do you think luna will attend the bonfire?
if people like this story then i'll try to update more often :)