TRIGGER WARNINGS : angst, self harm (scratching)
Virgil POV
What the hell do these dreams?! I ran my hand through my hair, getting more and more frustrated with myself.
I could faintly hear Remus ranting to Roman about something in the kitchen. I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room.
My phone was buzzing repeatedly, which was what had woken me up. But my mind was more focused on the strange dream.
I keep having the same damn dream every time I fall asleep now. I'm at Opal Gorge. I'm on the bridge and I'm crying because of Roman. I heard someone yelling at me but then I threw myself off the bridge.
Why does my mind keep doing this? Roman said that I accidentally fell. It was all an accident. My fall was an accident. Right?
The buzzing got annoying and I slowly was slipping into sensory overload. I sighed and rolled onto my side to grab my phone.
I had about seven text messages from Damien and one call from him. This can't be good.
Damien - Virgil
Damien - Virgil something bad happened
Damien - Remus said he likes Evan, Quinn and I and we agreed to let him into the relationship but Quinn completely freaked out
Damien - he's not responding to me or Evan and I don't know where he ran off to
Damien - I'm really worried about him
Damien - can you get ahold of him? Do you know where he might be?
Damien - I'm freaking out Virgil I don't want him to hurt himself he didn't seem okay when he ran off
Me - that's a lot to take in, yea I have an idea where he is, I'll go get him
I turned my phone back off, not bothering to read the flurry of texts. My heart was beating incredibly quickly. I can guess that Quinn isn't taking that news well at all.
Sending a quick text to Roman, I pulled my combat boots on quickly. It took me a while to get my brace on by myself but eventually I got it. Luckily the park isn't too far from Roman's house.
My heart was pounding the entire wall their and my mind kept telling me horrible things. Quinn hurt himself. He ran away. He went back to his old house.
There was no one in the park which somewhat surprised me. It was a nice day out despite the clouds covering the sky.
Bypassing the playground, I started walking down the path. Then taking a turn into the woods, I almost stumbled.
Stupid led. Stupid brace. Constantly getting in my fucking way.
I forced my leg to work with me as I walked into the woods. It annoyed me how far into the woods Quinn's hiding place is. But then again, he did want to escape.
Eventually I saw it. Stumbling down into the gorge, I headed quickly over to the structure. The fairy lights were on inside it.
I paused at the entrance and knocked a few times. No response. The longer I waited the more worried I got.
"Quinn?" I said. "It's me, Virgil. Can I come in?"
"Yeah," A soft voice mumbled from inside. I breathed a sigh of relief and crawled inside.
Quinn was pressed against the far corner. He was shivering badly from the cold, his thin sweater not helping much. An open sketch book say next to him but it was messily written words instead of a drawing.
I quickly scrambled over to him. I pulled off my hoodie and wrapped it around his shaking shoulder. Despite the cold I was feeling now, I didn't care.
His face was red and blotchy. Tear tracks were littered all down his cheeks and his eyes were watery.
"Can I touch you?" I asked him. He nodded 'yes' in response.
I pulled him into my lap and hugged him tightly. Quinn leaned into my touch, his breath hitching as he tried to keep himself from crying.
"Damien told me what happened," I mumbled. "With Remus."
"I fucked it up," Quinn cried. "I fucked up the relationship."
"No you didn't," I told him. "You have feelings. You can't change those."
"I just don't like Remus," He mumbled. "I barely know anything about him. He's so much older than us. He scares me."
"You're allowed to feel like that," I said.
"But he was so angry when I said no. It scared me. I don't like being yelled at," Quinn said, breaking down into sobs. His shaking increased.
"Hey, it's okay," I said quickly. "It's over. You're here with me right now."
"It scared me," He whispered again.
"You can't be angry with yourself because of things that trigger you," I told him.
"But it's not fair to everyone else," Quinn said, borderline gelling. "I hurt Remus. It's going to destroy our relationship."
"You can't help it that yelling upsets you," I continued. "You can't help it that what Remus did was a big shock. You weren't prepared for it. You can't be mad at yourself for this. You need time to think all this through."
"I should die," He whispered.
"No," I said sternly, anxiety spiking through me. "You shouldn't die because of this."
"It's all so much, not just the relationship drama. Everything is too much," He ranted.
"Have you hurt yourself?" I asked tentatively.
No response from Quinn. He shrunk into himself and refused to make eye contact.
"Quinn," I said, grabbing his chin to make him look at me.
He just held out his arms. Very gingerly I rolled up his sweater sleeves. Long bloody scratches were going down his arms. His forearms were also incredibly skinny and bony which couldn't be good either.
"Did you scratch yourself again?" I asked even thought I could see the answer for myself.
"I couldn't stop it," He cried. "I was back there. All this is brining back memories and I don't like being yelled at and it felt good because it hurt and I deserve it-"
"No one deserves pain," I quickly cut him off. "Except maybe Jackson. And a few other people."
Quinn laughed a little at that. I smiled gently at him and wiped the tears off his cheeks. He curled up against my chest and stayed there.
"Can I call Emile and Patton?" I asked. "You need love, care, and advice that my emo ass isn't good at giving. Also you need to bandage those arms."
"Sure," He mumbled, his voice muffled by my chest.
"Can they come here?" I asked, motioning to where we were hiding.
"Sure but not inside," He answered.
"Okay," I said while pulling my phone from my pocket.
I went through my contacts until I found Patton's name. I pressed the call button and put my phone to my ear. I leaned back against the wall and kept my other arm tightly around Quinn.
"Hey kiddo!" Patton answered cheerily. I could practically hear his smile through the phone.
"Are you busy right now?" I asked.
"No, why?" He answered.
"Do you know where Emile is?" I asked him.
"Yeah, we're at the Coffee Corner right now," Patton told me. "Is something wrong?"
"I'm with Quinn right now," I explained. "He needs help and I'm not the best at comforting people."
"What happened?" Patton asked, his voice laced with concern.
"I'll tell you when you get here," I said.
"Where are you too?" He asked.
"We're in the forest by the park," I tried my best to explain. "Okay you know the gorge by the river?"
"Yeah, I think," Patton said.
"Okay, if you're on the walking trail and you reach the big pine tree, turn right and start walking into the woods. Straight line from there and you'll hit the gorge. You should be able to see us from there,"
"Okay, we'll be there soon," Patton told me.
"Thanks Patton," I breathed a sigh of relief. "And bring bandages with you."
Then I hung up, not wanting to deal with a frantic Patton after those instructions. I slipped my phone back into my pocket.
"Okay, we gotta get outside," I told Quinn.
He just nodded, unresponsive again. Maybe he's going to stop talking again. I hope he doesn't.
"You're going to have to walk because I can't carry you," I said.
Quinn got off my lap and crawled back outside. I followed him out. I was now shivering in the cold. I should've asked Patton to bring me a jacket.
We sat down on a rock and leaned against each other. I slipped an arm around his waist and pulled half of my hoodie around my shoulder.
Roughly ten minutes passed before Patton and Emile appeared at the top of the gorge. Slowly the made their way down to us.
"What's wrong?" Emile asked, looking at Quinn worriedly.
"Long story short, Remus has crushed on Damien, Evan, and Quinn. He confessed to them today and while Evan and Damien like him back, Quinn didn't take it too well. He said no and Remus yelled at him about it. That triggered him and he ran here," I tried my best to explain.
"Well I never would've guessed that," Patton said. The two looked shocked.
"I'm not good at comfort and advice," I said, looking at Quinn. He was resting against me, looking down at the ground.
"Why do we need bandage?" Emile asked, holding up a box of band-aids and a roll of gauze.
I very gently pulled Quinn arms from him and pulled up the sleeves. Patton and Emile looked at the deep scratches in worry and shock.
Then Emile sat down next to Quinn and started wrapping his arms. Patton sat down in front of Quinn and got his attention.
"Do you want Remus in your relationship?" Patton asked him gently.
"I don't know," He mumbled.
"Does he scare you?" Patton asked. Quinn nodded 'yes' almost instantly.
"He's loud and rude and mean and he does drugs and alcohol and I know he's trying to get clean but it's so much like my dad and then he yelled at me and it scared me and I don't like being yelled at and he's so much older then us, we know nothing about him," Quinn rambled on so quickly it was hard to follow him.
"You don't have to be in a relationship if you don't want to," Emile told him. "Don't force yourself to love someone."
"But it's going to destroy our relationship," Quinn cried. "And what if Remus is actually really nice and I'm just not giving him a chance because I'm so fucking scared."
"It's normal to be scared when it comes to new relationships," Emile said. "Especially something like that."
"I hurt his feelings," Quinn mumbled.
"You weren't prepared for something like that," Patton said gently.
"You have to give yourself time to think about something that serious," Emile added, finishing the bandages around Quinn's arms.
"But Evan and Damien were completely okay with it," He argued. "They both even kissed him."
"Wow," Emile breathed.
"That's...a lot for something that just started," Patton said.
"I feel cheated on...which I know is stupid...but I feel so jealous and I feel like they're going to replace me," He admitted.
"They aren't going to replace you," Patton told him. "Damien and Evan love you a lot. And it's natural to feel jealous about something like that."
"What about an open relationship?" Emile suggested.
"No!" Quinn said quickly. "I'm fine in a poly relationship but I'm not comfortable with an open one. I'd feel left out and abandoned when they did stuff with Remus. And then I'd feel bad because they'd be happy with Remus but then have to deal with me too and I'd just be a burden. And then it'd be so easy for them to break up with me."
"You need to talk to them about this," Emile told him.
Quinn didn't respond to that. He looked terrified. His crying had started back up.
"This'll work itself out," Patton told him. "It's going to be okay."