This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. I'd heard countless stories about omegas choosing a mate, how their instincts would surge up and tell them This is the one. This is the one that I want for the rest of my life. Something in their body would recognize the total submission, and their scent gland would rise to the surface of their skin, leaving them in a vulnerable, accepting state. It would show the alpha of their choice that they had handed over complete control. It was a conscious decision on both sides. So how could this be happening to me? How could I have chosen this alpha without even realizing it? My body was betraying me in the worst possible way.
Eren took a step toward me, hands raised in a meek gesture, and I fished out the repellent spray from my pocket. I wasn't going to put my trust in this alpha. It didn't matter what he saw, what he smelt, this was a mistake.
"Stay right there," I warned.
He stopped, but his body shook with the effort to keep away from me. "You're scared and in shock. I won't leave you here unprotected. Let me take you to Hanji."
I brought the spray up, my arm shaking. "I already told you that I'm not your responsibility."
"But you are." His eyes shot down to my neck, a look of sheer desperation settling on his face. "You've given me the right to take care of you. Please, Levi."
"I haven't given you anything! I haven't... I didn't mean for this to happen."
"Please," he pleaded. "I won't mark you against your will, but I need to take you somewhere safe. If another alpha comes across you, they will react to your scent. Do you think they'll be able to hold back the way I am?"
I cupped my neck and whined under my breath as my fingertips slid over the sensitive skin. No other alpha would show the same restraint. We both knew that. They would let their instincts take over the instant they smelled me, uncaring of my feelings towards the situation. Even if I were to hurry to the medical wing in search of Hanji, I was bound to run into an alpha along the way, and once they were aware of my scent gland throbbing just below the surface of my skin, I would have no chance of escaping. I could already feel my body going slack in preparation for the bonding mark to take place. I was weak, defenseless, and it was all Eren's fault.
Damn him.
Leaning back against the wall, I thought over my options. Not that I had many at this point. I would either have to take my chances with Eren, or risk facing an alpha that didn't possess half the control he did. Fuck. Who was I kidding? It was obvious which I should choose.
"Spray that on your neck," Eren suggested in a strained voice when I stayed quiet, gesturing to the bottle I held. "You can even spray it on my face, just...please."
"You're so annoying," I muttered, but lifted the bottle to my neck. I sprayed a generous amount onto my skin. The pungent, nauseating smell was immediate. Hanji wasn't kidding when she said this stuff reeked of skunk. "This will burn you if you touch it."
"I don't mind, s-so can I come over there?" He was shifting from foot to foot now, like it took a tremendous amount of effort to remain rooted to the spot he was in. I knew that it did, and a small part of me enjoyed that he was giving me this level of control over him. No other alpha would do that. "Levi?"
"If you try anything, I will not hesitate to spray this shit down your throat. Do you understand me?"
"I won't try anything," he said right away.
I had to keep reminding myself that this was the only way to get to Hanji without running into problems, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't dampen the fear that made me want to bolt in the opposite direction. Once I gave him permission to come over here, would he be able to stay in control of himself long enough to get me to the medical wing? What if he attempted to do something? I wasn't sure that I would be able to defend myself in the current state I was in, and I was all too aware that if he slipped up, even for a second, everything I'd worked for over the years would be ruined. I was putting my entire life in his hands, an alpha I hadn't even known the day before yesterday.
"Levi," Eren said, "I swear that I won't do anything."
I looked up at him, dazed. "Then prove it to me. Show me I can trust you." I tossed him the spray bottle, knowing I'd just given up my one defense against him. "Spray that on your neck, over your scent gland."
Without the least bit of hesitation, he did what I asked of him. The skin on his neck began to bubble and redden, like an acid burn. I stared at him in utter shock. I hadn't been expecting it to do that.
"Oh my god," I breathed. "I didn't know. I didn't think..."
"It's nothing I can't handle," he said, voice level and calm.
I hadn't asked Hanji if that spray would cause permanent damage to an alpha, and the realization that it could hurt me more than I thought was possible. Suddenly it was imperative that we hurry. Not for my sake, but for his. Even if I didn't want to mate with him, that didn't mean that I wanted to ruin his chances to bond with another omega. Was my self-preservation worth that? I didn't think that it was. Marking an omega was what alphas lived for, what they craved from the moment they went into their first rut. I couldn't take that away from him.
"Hurry the hell up," I snapped, in a panic. "We have to get to Hanji faster than ever now. Get your ass over here." I held my arms out to him in open invitation.
Eren didn't rush over to me like I assumed he would. All he did was stand there with a covetous expression on his face. "Give me a moment," he said through clenched teeth.
"We don't have a moment, you moron. Your neck—"
"Your scent changed."
"Of course it did. I smell like a foul skunk."
"That's not it." He moaned and a shudder shook his frame. He tilted his head to the side, eyes falling closed. When they opened up again, he pinned me to the spot with his heated gaze. "You're submitting."
I shook my head almost violently. The fear I'd felt minutes ago returning. "No. You're insane. I'd never submit to you, or any alpha."
"Don't worry. It doesn't change anything. Just makes it a bit harder for me. That's why I asked you to give me a moment."
I stayed frozen in place as he pulled himself back from the brink of caving in to his instincts. It didn't take as long as I was expecting it to, but I still couldn't bring myself to take my eyes off of his neck. The skin there was a bright, vicious red. It had to hurt, but he gave no sign that it did.
After he took another deep breath, he said, "Okay. I have it under control. Can I come over there now?"
"I already said you could, didn't I?" I shot back, trying to sound annoyed and exasperated, but I couldn't pull it off. Instead I sounded small and afraid, which irritated me to no end.
With slow steps, Eren closed the distance between us. The closer he got to me, the more out of control I felt. It took everything I had not to throw myself at him. His enticing scent made something inside me stir, a deep, primal need that demanded me to claim this alpha for my own. And how I wanted to. Then I caught sight of his neck, at his ravaged scent gland, and I made a whiny sound in the back of my throat. He was hurt and I'd been the one that caused it.
"I'm all right," Eren assured, because the sound I had released had been one of worry. It was the omega inside of me wondering why my alpha was hurt.
My alpha...
Fucking shit.
"I have you now," Eren whispered as he gathered me up in his arms. "I promise I won't hurt you. Please trust me on that, Levi."
"I don't trust anyone—Mm." Instinctively, I nuzzled my face against the side of his neck that was unmarred. His skin was warm and soft against my lips. So tempting. "You smell so good."
His grip tightened on me, but he started walking in the same direction we came from. He didn't ask where the medical wing was, which would've worried me if I had enough brain capacity to think with left. But, as it was, all I could do was rub my face against him, too eager to get his scent on me. I wasn't even aware when my hands shot up to snatch handfuls of his hair. The only thoughts running through my head were Yes. Yes. Want your scent on me. Need it. Feels so right. I'd never felt more like an omega than I did in that moment, so desperate that I was seconds away from begging him to mark me.
I whined, needy, and turned around in his arms until I had my legs secured around his waist. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me steady, and I started grinding against him, completely lost to instincts now. I tried to fight them, I did, but it was so hard. Everything about this felt too good, too right. I couldn't even remember why I'd been resisting this to begin with. I wanted him to respond to my touches, to touch me back, but he kept walking.
"We're almost there," Eren said in a breathy voice. "Hold out a little longer."
"C-can't. Too hot. It's painful. Please."
He groaned, the sound filled with agony. He wanted to give into me, to ease the pain of the omega that had chosen him, but he was fighting it with every fiber of his being. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew why he was, but for the life of me I couldn't remember. "We're almost there," he repeated. "Just try to endure it."
By the time we made it to the medical wing, I was sucking and biting on his neck, leaving behind vivid marks on his skin. At the sight of them, satisfaction welled up inside me. Anyone who saw him would know that he was spoken for, that he was mine.
He's not yours.
But he could be.
"Hanji!" Eren called out, smacking his hand against the double doors that led to her office. No one was allowed in without the proper clearance, which he didn't have. "Hanji! I need you to open the doors!" I pressed my lips to a spot just below his jawline and dragged my teeth across the skin before I started sucking on it, hard. His whole body shook. "Ah, fuck, Levi. You're gonna—you're gonna have to stop. You're making it incredibly hard for me."
"I can tell," I said in a dark, lustful tone I didn't recognize. I pushed my hips forward and felt his erection throb against mine. "Maybe I like making it incredibly hard."
His response to that was to pound his fist against the doors. "Hanji! Open these fucking doors or I'm going to kick them down!"
The door flew open seconds later to reveal a wild-eyed Hanji. "Eren, you're disturbing me in the midst of a very important—" She stopped when she saw me in his arms. "What the hell is going on here?"
"He chose me as his mate," Eren explained in a rush, "so his scent gland became visible. I wanted to bring him here to keep him safe."
Hanji adjusted her thick glasses as she outright glared at his neck. "Well, he seems enthusiastic enough. Are you sure he didn't want you to mark him? Oh, and you should wash that stuff off your scent gland right away. I'll need you to come back in so I can check you over."
Eren set me down on my feet. I clung onto him. "Levi made it very clear that he didn't want me to mark him. He's acting on instincts right now. C-can you take him already? I need to get out of here before I do something that will make him hate me."
"No. Don't leave," I begged. "Stay with me."
He pushed me into her arms after that and took several steps back. "Take care of him, Hanji," he said right before he took off without a backwards glance at us. I went to go after him, desperate for his touch, but Hanji snatched me by the arm and dragged me into her office. She shut the door behind us with a definite click.
"I'm going to have to sedate you," she informed me as she shoved me down onto a cot she kept in here for special cases. She strapped my wrists down faster than I could react to her movements. "You're not going to stop going after him unless I do. Your body needs him right now, so I'm going to have to knock you out for a good twelve hours for this to pass. When you wake up, we have a lot to talk about." Pulling up a medical stool next to the cot, she sat down on it and leaned back to retrieve a syringe from her desk drawer. "Just relax now. Everything is going to be okay."
I shook my head. "No. I need to go to him. You don't understand..."
"Shh, if you still feel that way when you wake up, then you can go to him all you want. But right now you're being overrun by instincts. You're not in your right mind."
"No," I said, even when I knew it was futile.
My body was so hot. It was unbearable.
"Stay still for me." She rubbed my arm with an alcohol swab. As she sunk the needle into my skin, she said, "He shouldn't have been able to do what he did just now. His self-control is unheard of. To be frank, you're lucky that he didn't mark you, especially with how you were acting toward him. That alpha is something else entirely. It excites me. I can study him."
Her voice was already beginning to fade as my eyelids grew impossibly heavy. My vision went blurry in an unnatural way, sounds became long and indistinct, muddy, and everything was too dull and bright at the same time. The last thing I thought before I went under completely was: I need to go to my alpha.
---
Heavy. I felt so heavy.
For a long, terrible moment, I had no idea where I was, or even who I was. Then it all came back to me, the way things do after the grogginess of sleep subsides. I remembered Eren and I walking to the library after breakfast to go do his paperwork. I remembered how he pointed out my scent gland after I accused him of being just like every other alpha out there. But above all else, I remembered the fear that came after I realized that I'd chosen him as my mate. The fear that was all consuming. Yet, in the end, I'd put my trust in him. I let him take me to the medical wing, which is probably where I was right now.
Irritated, I tried to bring my right hand up to rub at my eye, but found that it had been strapped down to the cot I lay in. The same could be said for my other hand. What had I done in order for Hanji to restrain me? I couldn't remember anything after I gave Eren permission to take me here. Had something bad happened? My body felt achy, muscles throbbing, but that wasn't a bad sign. If Eren had mated with me, I would feel sated and relaxed. Right now I felt anything but.
Turning my head to the side, I spotted Hanji's enormous metal desk, which meant I was in her office. Judging by my sore arm and foggy mind, she had put me down for the count. I could lie here and try to guess why she felt the need to do that, but that would prove to be pointless real fast. Waiting for her to come back to explain things to me was a better option, that way I wouldn't drive myself insane with every assumption my mind brewed up. Luckily for me, I didn't have to wait for long, because a couple minutes later she came waltzing through the door, a clipboard clamped beneath her arm.
When she saw that my eyes were open, she said in an excited tone, "I just got done examining your alpha."
"His neck," I nearly shouted, remembering that I'd made him spray that repellent on it. "And he's not my alpha."
She waved me off. "Sure. Oh, and his neck is fine. After he sprayed himself, he continuously tried to heal that spot, so he managed to avoid any real damage that could've been done. He's a unique alpha, that one. He has the ability to focus on an injured part of his body and heal it in minutes. Do you know how rare that is? Normally alphas take weeks to heal, but your boy can do it in minutes." She smacked her desk. "He's truly amazing."
"Shut up and tell me why you strapped me down."
"You mean you don't remember?" she asked, tapping her lip with a ballpoint pen she held. "That's odd, though I'm sure the memories will come back to you with time. But, long story short, you wanted Eren to plow your ass. It astounds me that he was able to resist not only his instincts, but you. You were basically salivating over him."
I stared at her, abashed. "I would never salivate over anyone."
"That's not what his neck says. You left quite a few hickeys behind. Just take a look at them the next time you see him, which leads me to the main topic of this conversation." She set the clipboard down on her desk. "Since you've chosen him as your mate, you are now in a very vulnerable position. From what he told me, you weren't even aware that you chose him, but that doesn't matter now. The fact is your scent gland will rise whenever you're around him, and considering Erwin wants you to train him, you're going to be around him a lot. That means you either have to let him mark you, or I'll be forced to tell Erwin of the situation. I can't allow you to go walking around the sanctuary with your scent gland in plain sight. That's sure to stir up a lot of trouble with the alphas that reside here. Especially since you're the only unmated omega here."
I groaned. "You can't tell Erwin. He'll take me off my duties."
"Then are you going to let Eren mark you?"
"Hell no."
"Then you leave me with no choice."
"Isn't there another way?" I asked, grasping at straws.
Hanji sighed. "I don't see another way. The moment you're near him, you're going to react the same way you did today. Whether you like it or not, you want that alpha, and quite badly, from what I saw. Not only will your instincts overwhelm you whenever you're around him, but you'll also be possessive of him. If a beta happens to get near him in a romantic way, you're going to pitch a fit. You may not believe that you will, but oh, you will."
I looked up at the ceiling and tried to make sense of what had happened to me in less than forty-eight hours. If what Hanji was saying was true, and I had no reason to believe that it wasn't, then I was fucked. I wouldn't be able to go back to my duties. Eren would cause too much interference with my thought process, which meant I would become a useless asset to my team. Erwin wouldn't put up with that for long. He would demand that I make a decision. I would either have to let Eren mark me as his own, or I would be removed from my posts and assigned other duties. Omega duties.
No. I couldn't let that happen. Not after I worked so hard to be in the position I was in.
"Unstrap me," I said.
Hanji gave me a quick once over before she leaned down and yanked on the strap. As soon as my hand was free, I undid the other strap and sat up. There had to be another way around this. I wouldn't let Eren dictate how I went about my life. It didn't matter if I chose him as a mate. I didn't want him.
After I slipped on my shoes, Hanji said, "There is one other way, but Eren would have to be in agreement with it, because it would be painful for the both of you. But if you're both willing, then I believe that if you let him scent mark you several times a day, you'll be able to keep some semblance of normality around him. It'll be hard at first, but with time, it will get easier."
"I'll talk to him."
"Don't get me wrong here. It won't be an easy thing to do, Levi. The temptation to mate with him will always be there, strong and undeniable. If you act upon it and Eren winds up giving in somewhere along the way, then you can't hold him responsible for it, seeing as you're the one that is putting him in this position. If it were up to him, he would mark you. He would make you his."
I rubbed at my temples, feeling a headache coming on. "I don't want to be his, or anyone else's. Just...take me to my room. I need to shower and get out of these clothes."
I needed to get Eren's scent off me.
"Give me a minute to finish this up," she said.
Turning her back to me, she scribbled something down on the medical form she had clipped to the clipboard. I steered my attention toward the door as she continued to work in silence. Somewhere on the other side of it was Eren. I knew that I wouldn't be able to avoid him for long, that I would have to find the courage to ask him to scent mark me on a daily basis, which seemed demeaning. I would depend on him from here on out. God, I wanted to hate him. I wanted to blame him for everything that happened today. I really did, but I couldn't find it in myself to do that. I was the one that chose him for a mate. Me. If anything, I was more responsible for this shitty situation than he was.
When Hanji was done filling in her paperwork, which she announced by slamming her pen down on the desk, we left her office without saying much to each other. As we passed the double doors and stepped out into the empty corridor, I immediately felt exposed and vulnerable. I didn't like the feeling, but I couldn't shake it, even when I knew that an alpha wouldn't attempt anything when I had Eren's scent on my skin. The uneasiness came from not knowing whether the suppressants I'd been taking would work now that I'd chosen a mate. I had a feeling that they wouldn't, that my body would gladly go into heat the instant Eren put his hands on me.
By the time we made it to my room, I was determined to speak to Eren before today came to an end. I wanted everything figured out by tomorrow morning.
"Eren's in apartment A1," Hanji said, like she'd been reading my mind. "I think you and him need to talk."
I pushed open my door after I scanned my badge and punched in my four-digit code. "I know that."
"Don't worry about explaining anything to Erwin. Eren told him that you two finished the tour. As of right now, Erwin is in the dark about everything that went on today."
Relief flooded through me. "Good."
"Don't be too hard on Eren when you go talk to him. He didn't do anything wrong."
I knew that too.
---
I stood outside Eren's apartment with my stomach in knots. It was eight at night. Two hours before lights out, and I couldn't be less prepared to get this over with. How could I face him when I knew what would happen when I smelled him? When I knew what I was going to ask of him?
"Come on, Levi," I said to myself. "Knock on the fucking door already."
Before I could raise my fist to do that, my heart hammering away in my chest like it had every intention of galloping right out of my ribcage, the door swung open and Eren leaned up against the doorframe to regard me with a look of tenderness that soothed the omega in me. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I was waiting for you to knock, but you were taking a while, so I thought I would save you the trouble."
I glared at him, feeling an unfamiliar warmth pour into my cheeks at lightning speed. He'd been watching me through the peephole. How ridiculous. "First of all, that's creepy as hell. Second of all, I'm sorry about today. I didn't think that this was how things would turn out. I don't know how any of this happened. You may not believe me when I say that, but it's the truth. I had no intention of choosing you, or any other alpha, as my mate."
"I believe you."
I looked up at him then and saw that the skin over his scent gland was splotchy, but healed. It filled me with relief to know that I hadn't caused any permanent damage. As for the other side of his neck... I groaned aloud. There was an abundance of dark hickeys that I knew I had given him. "Why haven't you healed those yet?" I asked, aggravated that I had to see the evidence of my arousal painted on his skin.
"These?" He touched the marks I'd left with his fingertips. "Why would I heal them? I like them."
Not knowing how to respond to that, I settled for, "Listen, there's a reason I'm here. I didn't come just to apologize. I have a favor to ask of you, and I would appreciate it if you would hear me out."
"Tell me anything that you need to tell me," he said. "I'll listen."
Why did he have to be kind and understanding? It made it hard to dislike him. I wanted him to give me every reason to hate him, to distrust him, but so far he had done everything in his power to prevent that from happening. Still, my reaction to him didn't make any sense to me. From the time I was six, I'd loathed every alpha I came across. It didn't matter if they showed me kindness, I would hate them simply for what they were, what they could do, what they had done. So why was this one different? Why had he been different from the moment I saw him down on his knees in that confinement chamber?
"I won't let you mark me," I said in a small voice that sounded nothing like my own. It was weak, this voice. "I can't. But if I don't do something, then everything I've worked for, everything I've accomplished, will be gone."
Eren reached out, slow, questioning, but when I didn't move, he took my hand. "Just tell me what to do."
"I need you to scent mark me every day, so I can get some relief from..." Wanting you so much, I finished in my head, but didn't dare say out loud. "Can you do that?"
In response, Eren brought his wrist up to his neck and rubbed it against his scent gland, covering it in his essence. Then, ever so slowly, gently, he rubbed his wrist against my own scent gland. I unwound under his touch, my body accepting him.
"It'll be easier to resist your instincts if I do it this way," Eren said, running his wrist on the other side of my neck now. "If I were to do it in the traditional way, to rub our necks together, I think that would make everything harder for you."
All I could say in response to that was, "Thank you."
"I chose you too, you know. Once an omega chooses their mate, they cannot choose another. An alpha, on the other hand, can choose to mark them, to claim them, but can refuse to let the omega mark them in return. I'm sure you know that. But... I would let you mark me. I would let you claim me."
"Why?"
"Because I've never wanted anyone the way that I want you."