Chapter 27
"And she was all, 'Sit your mother fucking five dollar ass down before I make change!'" Zayn laughed, imitating me.
"Do I really sound like that?" I asked shyly.
"No. That's my ghetto accent. You sounded more country, I guess." he responded.
"Can we just have one day where we go out and anyone who gets on our nerves, we can get Arielle to yell at her. It would make my entire life." Dani giggled.
"She already does that now." Louis chuckled and pulled me onto his lap.
"Morning." Harry muttered, stumbling down the stairs.
"Wait! How comes Harry gets to sleep in?!" I whined.
"Because he's Harry." Liam answered. I glared at him.
"What time did they wake you up?" Harry asked.
"The crack of Satan's ass." I replied.
"Sucks to suck." he winked. I gave him the finger and this topic just pooped up in my head.
"I bet they have an unaired episode of Dora the Explorer where Swiper swipes Dora's virginity." I said randomly.
"Really makes you think." Niall commented, bobbing his head.
"If a quiz is quizzical, then what is a test? A testicle?" I questioned.
"Good one." Liam chuckled. I winked.
"You know what really sucks?" I asked.
"What?" Louis replied.
"Straws." I nodded and clicked my tongue.
"Clever." Zayn added.
"Hey there Delilah, what's it like in your vagina? I'm a thousand miles away but I'd like to get inside yah." I sang and Louis burst out laughing.
"Oh my god! Where did you get that?" Louis laughed.
"Made it up." I shrugged. "Never eat Dora ice pops. It's like a pedophile licking a small child."
"I get it. That's clever." Dani giggled.
"And God said..." I trailed.
"Let there be boobs." Louis and I said together.
"Yessss!" I cheered and high fived him.
"Why aren't you two married yet, with your own TV show?" Niall asked chuckling.
"Why don't I have my own TV show?" I asked to no one in particular.
"Good question. It'd probably be the most watched show ever." Zayn chuckled.
"And the most censored. Every second there would be a beep." Danielle laughed.
"Why don't murderers hide the bodies in cemeteries?" I questioned.
"She's still going." Niall said amused.
"What if humans lost all their skin ever winter and walked around as skeletons and the trees got pissed because they had to rake skin off their lawn?"
"How the hell did you think of that one?" Harry asked.
"Just comes to me." I shrugged.
"Another. This stuff is funny." Dani clapped excitedly.
"I guess winning a ticket for the Titanic wasn't so lucky after all."
"Good one." Harry winked.
"Hey there Delilah, What’s it like up in Rack City? I see 10s and 10s of 20s laying down upon your titties, close your eyes…" I sang.
"Make that one up?" Louis laughed.
"No, I saw it on Tumblr." I laughed.
"You're so weird." Zayn chuckled.
"I may be weird but at least I didn't write 50 shades of grey." I retorted.
"Point taken." he responded.
"I’m gonna show up to a haunted house without pants on. Then I’ll tell everyone that ghosts took my pants and it will be very spooky." I sighed.
"That's just strange." Liam said, shaking his head.
"Who was the person who passed up the chance to call German currency Germoney?"
"That's a good one. Makes you think." Louis tsked.
"Shit!" I screamed.
"What?"
"I have school!" I yelled and began frantically running around to grab my things.
"But you skipped yesterday."
"Because we got arrested the day before." I retaliated.
"True."
~*~
"Can I use the bathroom?" I asked raising my hand.
"What for?" my teacher questioned.
"TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS. What do you fucking think for?" I growled. He looked up at me and sighed.
"Answer a riddle first." he smirked.
A riddle? The fuck..
"k." I sighed.
"What's something you can't see or feel. And it's not air."
"WiFi." I answered right away. "Can I please go now?"
"Yeah yeah."
--
"Miss.Mihalic, what is your political party?" my history teacher asked.
"Uhh... The slumber party." I replied.
"And what is that?"
"A party in which we only believe in a good night's sleep." I responded. He rolled his eyes at me.
"Can someone else please answer this question. One can only take so much Arielle Mihalic in a day." he sighed.
"You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen!" I yelled at him. He glared at me.
"Princ-"
"Principle. I know. I'm used to it." I said raising my hands in defeat.
I began walking to the door but turned around last second.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW SCHOOL! I'M GOING TO BECOME A POT DEALER! I'LL OFFER MANY KINDS OF POTS AND VARIOUS KITCHEN UTENSILS." I screamed and stormed out.
I'm not going to the principle. Fuck that.
I have a perfectly perfect boyfriend waiting for me at home.
~*~
"You're home early." Louis pointed out.
"Leave or kicked out?" Harry asked knowingly.
"In the middle." I shrugged. Then began coughing.
"Are you okay?" Liam asked.
"Yeah. Fine." I sniffled.
"You're not. You've got a fever." Danielle sighed, placing her hand on my forehead.
"Get the cough syrup." Louis instructed.
"I am not drinking cough syrup!" I yelled.
"It's grape. Calm down." Zayn chuckled.
"It doesn't taste like grape! Have you ever tasted a grape? Cough syrup tastes like death and the tears of small children."
"You're such a drama queen." Danielle muttered.
"At least I'm a drama queen. You're a drama peasant." I whispered.
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Horrible chapter I know. Like I'm ashamed of this chapter.