*Trigger Warning: Harsh language and bullying*
Andy silently wishes that he could be with Bill. The cafeteria is a lot different without his friend. People stare at him for simply being the only person who associates with Bill. He pulls his eyes down to the food before him, hoping that the time will pass and then he can go shopping for Bill. Why did he care? It's not like he had anything to gain.
Maybe it's because he knew the truth of what happened in that locker room. The bullies all circle like vultures and he doesn't bother glancing up at them. This kind of behavior is a trigger, one he isn't ready to pull.
"Where's your little boyfriend, Biersack? He kill himself?"
"No. Rodney. And it's none of your business what happened to him," Andy nearly snarls. "Leave me alone."
"Aww, is the retard gonna go tell on us?"
Andy closes his eyes, no, he couldn't. Not now. Stay inside. "Look, I'm just trying to eat my lunch. So can you leave, just leave."
"Awww, I think he's getting mad. I thought retards like you couldn't get mad." Andy often got angry but he didn't quite understand it. It wasn't like he meant to but the other person in his head, he lived for the rage. That rage kept him alive when he was moved from foster family to foster family.
"Rodney, just leave me alone. I don't bother you, you have no reason to bother me."
"You hear that Devin, we have no reason to bother him," Rodney snorts. "You punched me in the face, loser. And I want my fair shot." He grabs the teen's shirt collar and pulled him up from the seat.
"Rodney, please, just let me go," Andy near whimpers. "I don't wanna hurt you or get into trouble."
Before the theater kid could give Andy a matching shiner, the dean enters the eating area. Rodney drops the kid and glares at the adult approaching them. "You're lucky. But just know, I'm gonna get even." Andy watches them walk away, his heart racing. That was too close. Too fucking close. He wraps up his food and rushes to the bathroom.
Sitting in the stall, Andy tries to calm down. Fuck. Fuck. That was too fucking close. He starts patting his chest, hoping the action will shut down his anxiety. The anxiety of showing his other side. The angry side. The side that left him little notes in his phone. School is almost out. We can make it until school is out. Tears stream down his face as he thinks of what could've happened if that woman hadn't walked in. He didn't even stay to see what he had to say. He could hear the bell ring and knew he couldn't be late to class.
Running out, he's met with the doting gaze of Dean Anderson. She looks at his tear stained cheeks and frowns. "Andrew, is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Uh yeah. I'm fine. I just um, I missed my parents." His eyes never meet hers but she knows that he doesn't meet gazes anyway.
"The lord brought you to us. And the lord brought you to Marshall and Diane," she smiles. "I couldn't imagine they'd adopt you after I talked with them at mass."
"Yeah well. They're very nice people. I appreciate them and you for it," Andy responds. "But I have class, so I should go to that." The woman moves out of his way, watching him walk in the direction of the classroom. He didn't want to be in the building. Every second reminded him of how he used to get pushed around, everyone loved picking on the kid that is afraid to stand up for himself. More like he's afraid of what happens when he does. But Billy isn't. He used to argue with those kids and spent a good chunk of his time in detention or mediation conferences.
The draw back to attending a catholic school is they believe that students can be guided to the right path through religion and talking with a priest about why we should treat people with respect. After all, they're only children and they don't know any better. Andy can heat the footsteps that linger in the hall behind him, almost picking up speed when he does in fear of being attacked by Rodney and his crew again. Those theatre kids shouldn't have been the big on campus bullies but, seeing as they could do no wrong because of their status...Andy didn't wanna end up caught in their clutches again.
He slides into the classroom, taking a deep breath and facing the confused students that don't understand his paranoid behavior. Quite frankly, Andy doesn't understand why he is feeling this paranoid either. After all, he could kick their asses if he so chose to, but would rather not. What would he do after that? Get expelled. Then he'd leave Billy all alone and that is worse than any beating those idiots could dish out.
The day drags, Andy not even paying attention to the world around him anymore. He's trying to decide if one pallet would suffice or should he get him a whole face of makeup. What would that entail? Naturally, that would include foundation, a concealer, eyeshadow and a bunch of other stuff. He rushes to the dean's office to grab Bill's homework for the next two days and then grabs his belongings out of his locker to head home.
Andy has a list by the time he gets into his adopted parents car. It's only Marshall this time, Diane must've had work, he deduces in his head. "Hey there, kiddo, how was school?"
"Not worth talking about. I have a list. I want to purchase these items," Andy replies. Marshall smiles and turns back to the steering column.
"Your dean called. Said she found you hiding in the boys' bathroom and you said you missed your parents? Wanna talk about it?"
"It was a brief feeling but it passed after she saw me," Andy retorts. "Can we stop talking about this?"
"Of course. But you know, you can always talk to me. I won't judge you, kiddo."
"Thank you," Andy nods. "You are far easier to talk to than your wife. But I appreciate you both for giving me a home that isn't in that stupid school."
"Well, we wanted to assure that you'd be safe and would know that someone cares about you. Di , she's just a little....extra sometimes."
"I still appreciate you both." Silence fills the empty spaces of the car, Andy shoving his ear buds in to ignore the world. Having asperger's made him different compared to his peers. Andy remembers when his parents first called him special. They said he had the God disease. One that made him pay close attention to certain details. But those details included him pointing out what they were doing was illegal; those details put him inside of a small room with no one to speak to but the voice that developed in his head. This voice was never evil, in fact, Andy felt protected by it. This aggression gave him courage, the same courage that held onto him when he wrote the letter that caused the cult's most loyal member to turn his parents in. They lied. And those foolish enough to believe their lies felt like fool for even believing them for a second. A full second of belief was all it took.
And where did that leave timid Andy? Standing awkwardly in a Sephora, wondering if he should buy a matte pallet or one with shimmer shades. Billy usually wore dark makeup around his eyes. It wasn't shiny, why is he even thinking of this? And why did Marshall even give him a credit card to make the purchases? He fills the basket with items, wondering if Billy wants any of this crap. Billy will appreciate it. He repeats this over and over. Knowing maybe he'll trick himself into being confident about his choices.
Andy even stopped at the candy shop and picked up a large bag of sour gummy worms knowing it's bound to cheer his friend up. That's it. His friend. He didn't speak to Marshall during the ride. He simply stares at his phone, wondering if Billy would like his gifts. He has Bill's address. He knows where he lives and he could check up on him. Andy doesn't speak to Marshall, getting out of the car and walking up the stone pathway to the one story home. Billy lives here, Andy wonders to himself.
He prepares to ring the doorbell, a tad bit nervous. Picking up his hand, he finally gathers the courage.
"Coming."
That's Tom. His voice is several octaves deeper. His accent sounds more English than his baby brother. But they still have that German accent laced among their words. That same drawl. Okay, there's no turning back now. He can't anymore. The door opens and he's met face to face with the older sibling.
"Andrew? Right?"
" uh yeah. I mean yes. But Andy is fine. "
"I'm just messing with you," Tom chuckles. "The sailor is in the living room. I ordered pizza, if you're hungry." Andy remembers the forgotten, abandoned lunch he didn't partake in earlier and nods.
"Thank you. I appreciate the hospitality."
Tom chuckles again, dragging him from the door and into the foyer. "You don't have to be so formal. I'm not going to bite you."
"I always try to show respect."
"Tell me again, how you became friends with my daft little brother?" There's the accent difference. Andy would use crazy or another word but Tom opted for daft. Interesting choice. Before a response can pass his lips, Tom only pats his back and dismisses him to the living room. Andy doesn't see him wander into the kitchen.
"Don't mind that jerk. He's a real piece of shit. Is that a bag from Sephora? What did you buy there?"
"You lost your makeup. I wanted to replace what the assholes destroyed."
"Andy, you didn't have to," Bill sighs. He massages his forehead, Andy finally noticing the wires on his head. How long have those been there? Did he have those in the car? I don't usually miss the smaller details. Then I remember he had a hat. I couldn't see them because of his hat.
"What happened to your head? Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine. This is just a formality. Wanna do some homework? I'd rather be distracted by bullshit than talk about my problems." Andy nods and reaches into his bag, the pages all bound together by a binder clip.
"Sister Joseph said that this is what you'll need. I have notes for the first half and tomorrow I'll have some for the second."
"Shit. I miss a day and sister Joe decides to give a full stack of pages. She's a piece of work."
"She rescheduled our exam because they contacted her about you not being here." Andy looks at Billy, he missed him pressing the button on the EEG pack. His gaze is far away and he didn't even see Andy anymore. Billy stares straight through him, fear resting on Andy's chest. Why did he look at him this way? The teen draws closer, putting a hand on the other boy's shoulder and attempting to make him look at him, not through him.
"Hey, are you alright?" Bill wants to respond, to tell him all about the storm in his head. He wants to tell him to get Tom but he can't. He has waited too long. Then he wonders, why does this feel different. The world is swirling as it hasn't before, Andy's face slowly vanishing. His right arm jumps at his side and his form leans on Andy. "Should I get Tom for you?" Before he could even make a move to grab his older brother, Tom enters to ask if Andy likes mushrooms.
"Hey, how long has he been like that?"
"Couldn't be more than a couple seconds," Andy responds. "Is he okay?"
"Yeah. This is new behavior but everything with this has been new."
Andy didn't understand but he isn't going to let go. He let Bill go through the motions and held him while he slept. He is there when he wakes up and Bill looks up at him and then falls right back to sleep.
"I like you a lot Andy," Billy mumbles. "Stay a while."
"That's fine," Andy hums.