He caught sight of her greasy dark hair and pug face as she walked arrogantly off the train. She squinted slightly, not a very attractive look, he thought. She looked straight at him and he gave a small gesture that could have been seen as a wave. It was more of an acknowledgement that he was there. Her lips curled into a smiled and he was about to make a smart remark when she had her wand pointed at him.
“Apugno!” She said in a sugary sweet voice.
Without warning he was being assaulted by three tiny but vicious birds. He covered his face and cowered but he could still feel them nipping at his skin and blood trickle down his cheeks from where they caught him. He yelled out in pain and felt himself being beaten to the very last of his will, there wasn’t much more he could stand. Would it ever end? A better question is how much more can he take. His cries soon turned to whimpers as he cowered by a wall and waited for the assault to finish.
Soon enough he heard the birds flutter away. He looked up to see Pansy and the first thing he saw was her fist.
She was small, but she sure was violent. His whole face ached in pain and he was in no mood to fight. He was defeated.
“You know what that was for. Next time you better meet me on the train.” She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him up.
“Next time I won't meet you at the platform.” He hissed.
She snorted. “At least you learnt your lesson.”
“Did you have a good Christmas?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“I gained four pounds and had to spend it without my father or uncles. It was a hoot.” She shoved a bag at him and he snatched it from her. “You’re lucky your father’s a coward or else he’d be stuck in the same place.”
Draco looked down at his scuffling feet and ignored her. He wasn’t a coward, he wanted to say. He was so torn between defending him, which he had no desire to do, and defending his choice, which was something Draco would never have done alone.
Eventually they made their way to the castle and he carried her things down to the dungeons. He dropped them at the foot of the stairs before her dormitory.
“Aren’t you going to bring them up?” He made a grunting sound and carried them up to dump them by the foot of her bed before pushing past her and back down to the stone fireplace.
It was so different in this common room to the Gryffindor’s. He had never realised before just how cold and bland the Slytherin rooms were until he… until her…
He realised that he was clenching his fists and squeezing his eyes shut so tightly that he hoped it would keep out all of his memories.
He had to keep reminding himself of the reason that he was alone. It was because she had people, she was someone and he wasn’t worthy of someone like her. The things he did… he deserved someone like Pansy. Someone who punished him when he defied them or hurt them rather than trying to console him. Why did she do that? The amount of times that he was rude or arrogant, or cruel… She held him like it was she who had inflicted the wounds.
That wasn’t what Draco thought about when she crossed his mind. He wished things were different. There was no room for him with her. He missed the way she brushed his hair out of his face and the way she looked up at him from under her eyelashes, like he made her unsure, like he made her feel the same way that he did.
He looked out of the window to see that it was growing dark outside. He headed out of the dungeons before Pansy could come looking for him and walked up to the fifth floor. As he opened the door to the prefect’s bathroom he half expected her to be in there.
Even if she had been he would have let her be. He needed her to forget him. He wasn’t good enough for her. He knew it and those friends of hers surely did too.
As he stripped down and flicked his wand for the taps he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. Dried specks of blood and small grazes were scattered over his face and his eye was looking purple and swelling up on the left side. He took a good hard look with a grey expression on his sombre face. I deserve this.
He slipped into the bath and splashed his face. The hot soapy water stung his fresh cuts but he continued until his face was just numb. His whole body was numb.
There was a late dinner in the castle that night, to accommodate the arrivals on the last train in. Hermione was brushing through her hair before heading down to meet the others. She didn’t tell Ginny who she had been spending her time with.
She knew that Ginny would just tell Harry and then there would be a real problem. The only person who really knew was Luna. She wasn’t even sure how Luna always seemed to know the truth behind things, but she did.
Hermione walked down to the common room, her mind on anything but that boy who she would probably never understand.
“Sorry if I took a long time.” She said as she descended the stairs.
“Oh it’s fine, Ron’s still up putting his face on.” Ginny said almost impatiently.
“What?”
“She’s just being rude. She means that he’s taking his precious time.” Harry said.
“Calm down, I’m right here.” Ron ran downstairs and they made their way to the Great Hall.
“I tell you, if there’s one thing I’ve missed it’s been-”
“The food? We know Ron.” Ginny cut him off as he reached for at least three drumsticks.
“Since when was she allowed to sit with us?” He said with a mouthful of chicken.
“I might just go and say hello to Luna, I haven’t seen her since we got back.” Ginny gave Harry a fleeting kiss from across the table and made her way to the Ravenclaws.
Hermione looked at Harry to her right, staring at her like she was all he could think about. She was happy for him, he deserved it after everything.
Harry threw something over at Ron. “You know the food will still be here in an hour.” He teased.
“I figure I should make the most of the feasts while I’m still here.” He grinned, chicken and all.
They ate silently for a few minutes before Harry spoke up.
“Hey guys, take a look at Malfoy.” Hermione’s head shot up too quickly and looked over to where Harry was pointing.
Ron turned as well so that the three of them were now staring. Hermione let out a small gasp. His face… Pansy flitted about happily by his side as they headed to their seats. She must have done that to him, Hermione thought.
“Blimey, he obviously rubbed someone the wrong way.” Ron mumbled.
“That doesn’t narrow it down much.” Harry said quietly.
Draco sent a glare their way and they turned around and back to their food. Hermione met his eyes and even from across the room she could see the sadness in them. He looked away and she felt the tears sting the back of her eyes.
She managed to hold them back and knew that must be a good thing. She was getting stronger. Moving on from the past.
He couldn’t be in her future.