A/N: Kinda sad. Trigger warning for mentions of grooming.
Katsuki doesn't think he's ever felt so shitty.
Emotionally, anyway.
He's taken punches from the greats-from All Might, no less-and never once even shed a single tear. He can take physical pain like a fuckin' champ but heartache?
Well, he's slumped over the toilet of their bathroom with his stomach feeling as if he had swallowed rum and fire, crying and sniffling and wondering why the fuck being in love hurts so bad.
There was obviously some truth in what she had said. He could tell from the way that Shouto---always so confident in himself---tripped over his own words in a struggle to try and defend himself. Katsuki just didn't know where the truth ended and the lies began.
And honestly? He was scared to find out.
The first time they had sex, Shouto told him that he was his first. And Katsuk believed him---because they were young and Shouto was his first, too. His first time. His first love. His first heartbreak.
His first everything.
But he lied. He lied and he didn't have to. So what else was just a lie? Was he going to get tired of Katsuki too and eventually just throw him away? Is Shouto going to become his father?
Katsuki is...afraid.
His cell phone vibrates next to him on the floor and he glares at it just before he reaches out to grab it.
Sparky ⚡:
Hey baby, we came by your agency to surprise you but Edge says they sent you home. Are you okay?
Katsuki's fingers hover over the keypad but he decides to just lock his phone again instead, haphazardly tossing it back onto the floor and running shaky fingers through his hair.
Sleep. He needs sleep.
"Baby?"
It comes muffled from the other side of the bathroom door and Katsuki startles. When had Shouto even gotten home? Why hadn't he heard the door when he came in?
"...y-yeah."
"...can we...can we talk, please, sweetheart?"
Katsuki pauses, stomach lurching as he feels himself about to empty it into the bowl once more.
"...'m not feelin' too good, Sho. Maybe later."
The door handle jiggles and Katsuki can hear his own heartbeat in his ears.
"Are you---Katsuki are you throwing up right now?"
"Sorta. Maybe. Be fine."
"No, it's not fine. Please, please open the door so I can help you, baby."
Katsuki's anxiety spikes and he snarls.
"You fuckin' helped enough!"
A pause. Hopefully he's gotten a fucking clue.
But of course, Katsuki hardly ever gets his way.
"You're upset with me. I get that. But if you just let me explain, I can promise you that it's not how you think it is."
"Can you really? You said I was your first, Sho, and you lied. How can I trust you when she was obviously telling the truth about something?"
"...I did lie. And I'm sorry but I was just ashamed. I'd never purposely hurt you, Katsuki, baby, you know that."
Katsuki contemplates telling him to fuck off again, but his curiosity begs to be sated. He's hopeful---hopeful that Shouto hasn't just been yanking him along like some shitty show pony for the last three years.
"Ashamed of what?"
"...can't I tell you this from inside?"
"No. You tell me right where you are or I'm calling Eiji to come get me and I'm taking all my shit."
He can hear the distinct noise of Shouto's breath catching in his throat and the subtle noise of his clothes against the door as he sinks down to sit on the floor on the other side.
"Don't. Please. I'll do whatever you ask---"
"Then start talking. Quickly, before I decide I can handle this shit anymore."
"Okay---okay." Shouto says, more to himself that to Katsuki. He's trying to psych himself up, to rid his own anxieties.
"So...Sora and I were supposed to get married. It was a deal between our families---an arranged marriage. My father would get the perfect heir and her father would get a share of the Endeavor agency. Janky shit from a right bunch of pretentious fucks. But Sora was my friend so I stayed quiet."
Katsuki doesn't have anything to say, shaking fingers curling around the toilet seat.
"The more I began to understand what their deal was, the more sick it made me. Disgusted, even. I loved Sora dearly as a friend but the thought of her being my wife and bearing my child bothered me to my core. I told them how I felt and everything just went bloody tits up from there.
I was around thirteen when they started to tell me that I needed to have sex with her-only three years after they'd made the arrangement official. Told me I had to start giving him the fruit of his labor. That I had to do my part or our family would fail. Obviously that was a right crock of shit but as you might be able to guess, the penalty for defying him was to be beaten. So I gave in."
Katsuki, admittedly, is having a hard time processing this information. He knew that Endeavor was a monster but Christ in a hand basket, what the fuck?
"I didn't want to hurt her, so I did promise that I'd be gentle but she wanted more and every few days I was forced to fuck her and pretend like I fucking loved her while I just spent my days in self-loathing with pure hatred for my father and for hers festering deep inside of me."
Katsuki thinks that he may just be gaining a proper understanding of this.
"So then you ghosted her and got with me second year."
"I didn't ghost her. My father called off the engagement after Sora failed to get pregnant under the accusation that she and her father wouldn't be able to keep up their end of the deal. After that, my father continued to try and arrange different marriages with girls. He didn't know at that time that I...wasn't completely interested in women."
Which means that by that time, he and Katsuki had already begun seeing each other.
Does that mean...?
"And did you fuck them, too?"
"....Katsuki."
Katsuki kicks the door angrily.
"Answer me, Shouto!"
A long, pregnant pause.
"Some of them, yeah. Yeah I did."
Katsuki's throat is beginning to hurt from trying to hold in his tears, vision blurry as he chokes on a sob.
"How long? How long were we together before you stopped fucking them?"
A long, suffering sigh. Shouto sniffles from the other side of the door.
"Six months, maybe. No more than that, baby, I swear."
So that's it, then. Shouto did cheat on him.
Katsuki is becoming dizzy.
"Please just leave me alone, Shouto."
"No! I didn't want to be with her. I didn't want to be with any of those women; I just did what I felt like I had to do! I was so numb, Katsuki-you don't understand. I just wanted to feel something again. Anything. I knew the moment that I made you mind that I'd never want anyone else again. I have been faithful to you, baby-"
"Other than when you fucking cheated on me for sixth months?!"
An ugly sob breaks away from Katsuki and he tries his best to regain some semblance of his composure but he fails. How could he even sit there and pretend like this is okay?
"So what, did you date me to 'knock me down a peg'-is that it? You didn't have any intentions of being with me and that's why you felt so comfortable to fucking sneak around on me and fuck other people behind my back?!"
Shouto's silence hurts more than any other lie could. Katsuki's entire body is trembling.
"How many?! How many, Todoroki?!"
"...baby..."
Stop asking questions that you don't really want the answer to.
"Why do you keep doing this to me; why do you want to hurt me so badly?! I would never do something like this to you. I thought that you loved me..."
There's the faint noise of Shouto scrambling to his feet outside of the door.
"I do love you, baby. I meant that every single time I've said it---my pretty kitty. My princess---"
"Fuck you!!! Fuck you, you fucking fuck! No more---you have no more power over me!"
Katsuki's phone vibrates again---a phone call this time.
Incoming call from Sparky ⚡
He scrambles to pick it up, feeling himself plummeting into a downward spiral. He needs to leave. He needs to leave or its going to get bad---
"Yo, Blasty Boy! Heard you were feelin'----whoa. Kats, are you okay?"
He shakes his head even though he knows that Denki can't see him, bawling and wiping at his face.
"Kats, talk to me, baby, you're scaring me. If you don't answer I'm gonna call the police and get you some help, okay?"
He shakes his head again and swallows, trying and failing to catch his breath.
"I-I need to go. H-H-Help me-please!"
"You need to go? Go where, baby?"
And Katsuki spirals into full blown hysterical tears, entire body shaking with the force of his sobs. He's in pain---and it hurts more than any scar ever will.
"It's okay, baby, it's gonna be okay. Hanta and I are on the way, alright? We'll be there real soon, just hang tight."
And then the line dies. Katsuki let's his phone tumble to the floor with a loud clatter, curling in on himself to try and quell the ache in his chest. When it doesn't work, he takes his phone and hurls it at the bathroom mirror, crying out as it shatters.
The door handle jingles again.
"Katsuki?! What did you just do?! God, please, babe, let me in or I'm going to have to kick the door off its hinges---"
"No! No, no, leave me alone!"
"I just need to make sure you're not hurting yourself, baby---"
"You!!! You hurt me!!!"
"I know! I---fuck---I'm so sorry, you gotta believe me---"
Shouto is crying, too but his tears mean very little to Katsuki. Not now. Not after what he's done.
"Katsuki?!"
He hears the faint sound of Denki's voice coming from the front of their apartment and wipes at his face again.
"I-I'm h-here!"
The sound of boots thumping across the tile comes closer and before he knows it, their bedroom door is being thrown open. He hears it slam back against the wall.
"What the fuck?!" He hears Denki curse. "What the fuck are you doing to him that he's got himself locked in the fucking bathroom?!"
"Mind your bloody business, Kaminari, I'm not doing anything to him!"
"Fuckin' bullshit, you bastard. Let him out!"
"I'm not holding him hostage!"
"Kat, come on out, babe. I'm not gonna let him hurt you."
Katsuki jumps to his feet, throwing the door open with enough force for it to swing back and nearly smack Shouto dead on the nose as Katsuki throws himself into Denki's arms, sniffling and sobbing into his shirt. Denki cards his fingers through his hair to try and soothe him.
"Shhhh, shhhh. It's okay, I got you. You wanna go to Eiji's? Hm?"
Shouto bristles, slamming the bathroom door shut in a fit of rage.
"You're not taking him anywhere!"
"Yeah, well, it's not really your choice, now is it? I think you've done enough, dude, don't make me restrain you." Sero says, trying to be as passive as possible but not even remotely close to being in the mood to deal with Shouto's shit.
Shouto can only stand there and watch as they carry Katsuki away from them.