luke:
i have decided to stop existing
calum:
why
luke:
because existence sucks
calum:
what's going on
luke:
existence is pain
calum:
what's going on, lu
are you okay?
luke:
not really
i literally have a migraine from crying almost all day
i'm so mentally and physically exhausted that it takes a ridiculous amount of effort to even lift my arms
i'm glad we're in the same time zone tho i was rly hoping at least someone would reply
i'm bad at talking about my feelings and problems but having someone is good
calum:
yeah
you have to tell me why you've been crying all day though
that's really concerning and i'm worried about you
luke:
my life just realllyyy sucks lmao
i work myself to death and that's not even a parx reference i'm just fucking killing myself with how much i fucking work
and i'm way too fucking young to be in the position that i'm fucking in and i cannot fucking deal
and i have to aid all the goddamn new kids and shit and it's exhausting because most of them are literally my age or older and it's weird telling people older than me what to do
not to mention the emotional trauma that comes with seeing dead fucking bodies every day
i'm just so fucking tired, cal
calum:
what's your address
luke:
why
calum:
because i'm driving up there?
luke:
no i'm not letting you do that
it's almost midnight
calum:
it's okay
what's your address
luke:
fuck
i'm giving you gas money tho
calum:
i'll allow it
luke:
6200 hollywood blvd
obviously la
calum:
okay we're leaving now
luke:
w-we?
calum:
me n duke
luke:
duke?????
calum:
my boy
luke:
Y UOU HAVE A DOGH
calum:
i do
luke:
FUCKFUCKFUCKF
I LOVE HIM!!!!
calum:
well you shall meet him in 1 hour and 53 minutes
give or take
luke:
i cannot believe you're driving to los angeles for me
calum:
well
i consider you one of my best friends
so
luke:
really?
calum:
yeah
is that okay?
luke:
yes
i consider you mine too
michael:
i wouldf just like to point our that i jusr woke up and my eyes are literslly strugglinf to open and i only saw the lasr two texts and i rly thought y'all were confessinf your love for each other
luke:
isn't it like 6pm there
michael:
7pm yeah
calum:
why are you just now waking up
michael:
pulled an all nightrr at work
got home at noon
went to sleep at 3
now i'm here
luke:
dear god
go back to sleep
michael:
i'm tryinh but y'all be blowing up the gc
calum:
oops
we'll take it elsewhere now
michael:
thanku
luke:
happy sleeping
michael:
uwu
calum:
did he
luke:
yeah
calum:
god
luke:
put ur phone down and drive
calum:
red light
luke:
ah
be careful
calum:
i will
i mean it's a straight shot from here to la pretty much
it's literally 13 miles from my house to i-5 then i'm on there for almost 100 miles then i get on us-101 for like ten minutes then i'm there
so
luke:
still
u have babie in the car
calum:
duke's a self sufficient man
luke:
oh my god
calum:
okay i'm gonna go i'll see u soon farewell
luke:
goodbye be careful pls
calum:
i will
——
luke:
oh shit
ashton:
i go to sleep one time and all of a sudden calum's in los angeles what the fuck
calum:
oh shit!
michael:
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke
luke:
MICHAEL
michael:
ur pretty
luke:
oh
calum:
he's tall
ashton:
i figured
luke:
😐
michael:
i didn't know u wore glasses
luke:
that's because i don't take pictures wearing them calum's just horrible
calum:
excuse me i drove to los angeles in the middle of the night for you
michael:
what's his house like
luke:
?.?.?.?,!,!,!????
michael:
like is it clean
luke:
WhT.?.!,'nvcv
michael:
i need to know what type of person u are
calum:
it's clean
luke:
CALUM
luke.exe has crashed
calum:
(for reference he also scolded me out loud)
it's a studio
it's very cute
it has a balcony
luke:
why is this happening
calum:
he recycles
luke:
CalUm
michael:
my god
a man
luke:
ohmygod
ashton:
wait so cal u slept there last night
calum:
yes
michael:
~ooh~
calum:
what the fuck is that supposed to mean
luke:
it means i have a studio apartment which means one bed
ashton:
~and there was only one bed~
calum:
oh my god
michael:
~so~
luke:
i'm gonna take your tilde rights away
michael:
luke:
that's what that symbol is
a tilde
ashton:
i'd ask how you know that but
luke:
& is an ampersand
§ is a section sign
michael:
smart luke popped out
luke:
what do you mean popped out i'm always smart
calum:
i watched you forget how to tie your shoes earlier
ashton:
JSHDJFKSKSDK
luke:
wow thanks
michael:
tell us more smart shit
luke:
..
michael:
pleaseeeeee
luke:
i was
.. is a diaeresis
... is an ellipsis
. is a full stop
also known as the period
michael:
boring tell us interesting stuff
luke:
corpses can continue moving for up to a year after death
ashton:
oh my god
calum:
WE ARE HAVING BREAKFAST
michael:
EW WTF
luke:
i don't know what you expected when you asked a forensic scientist for "interesting stuff"
a few months after charlie chaplin died, a few guys stole his body and demanded a $600,000 ransom from his wife in return for the body
ashton:
oh my god??????
michael:
did they give it back???
luke:
yeah the police investigated and arrested the guys and got the body back
which is why he's buried in a concrete grave now
michael:
how do you know this shit
luke:
well
whenever i finished tests or quizzes in school really quickly i'd research random shit
so i've got a lot of useless information up here
wanna know picasso's full name
ashton:
pablo?¿
luke:
kinda
pablo diego josé francisco de paula juan nepomuceno maría de los remedios cipriano de la santísima trinidad martyr patricio clito ruíz y picasso
michael:
hehe
"clito"
luke:
you are the worst person to ever walk this god forsaken planet
michael:
JSHDJFSKSKSK
luke:
i'm leaving i'm gonna eat my breakfast now
and pay attention to calum bc hes cute
calum:
🥺✌️
luke:
awh i made him blush
^irl
it's adorable
ashton:
i ship it
calum:
oh god
michael:
#cake ?
luke:
FUCK-
calum:
oh my god