Commissioned by saveme1800
Actor!Taehyung x reader (but it's from Tae's POV). Taehyung is the lead role in a new drama but the first day on set he bumps into someone that changes his life forever.
⚠️Tags: Hanahaki disease (see my book, The Hanahaki Series, for a quick explanation if you need it), angst, smut, character death, Jimin is in it too
—
Taehyung sat back on his heels, staring in horror at the contents of the toilet before him, his fingers shaky as they gripped the edges of the bowl. His mind was racing back to that fateful moment.
—
He had been reviewing the script for the scenes they would be shooting the first day on set and not paying very good attention to where he was going when he rounded a corner, running straight into someone. The script in his hands went flying, pages falling all over the place, and Taehyung gasped in surprise.
"Oh no! Oh I'm sorry I'm so sorry," the person he had hit said in a cute, feminine voice, quickly dropping down to gather the papers.
"No, no, I wasn't paying attention," he said, shaking his head and squatting down to help. "Don't worry about it."
"No no, this is my fault," she mumbled. "You just- oh." Her eyes suddenly went wide and she froze when she looked up and their eyes met. Taehyung was unfortunately used to this sort of treatment, and it happened on set just as much as it did in the normal world.
"Ah," he said, a little uncomfortably. "It isn't your fault. Please don't worry." He wanted to break eye contact and move on, but she was still staring at him, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, glasses slipping down her nose as her hand gripped the pages of script she had gathered. "Um...I can - take," he reached for the papers and she jumped back to herself, shaking her head in embarrassment.
"Gosh I'm so sorry," she said again, sounding on the verge of tears this time. Taehyung couldn't help but smile as she straightened the pages out. She was just so endearingly cute. "Here! You take my copy and I'll tidy this and bring it to you later, okay? I'm sorry about this Mr. Kim," she said, pulling her own script out of her bag. It was clipped together with a fat binder clip and had her name printed on the front in pretty lettering, written in purple ink. The word "production" was at the bottom. Taehyung reached for it, hesitantly taking the stack of paper in his hands.
"Okay but you have to call me Taehyung from now on. Deal?" He asked.
"I couldn't!"
"I insist."
"Okay. Um. Taehyung," she said, looking down shyly.
Taehyung took the script and glanced at his watch, giving her a final wave before hurrying off to his appointment. He felt a tickle in his chest as he walked and cleared his throat, thumping his fist lightly on his sternum and shaking his head. He hoped he wasn't getting sick, he didn't have time for that right now.
Throughout the day working out of her script, Taehyung noticed all the little notes she had penned, becoming quite enchanted with the way her mind worked and her cute handwriting. He thought it was interesting that places where he would have marked acting notes she had marked things about lighting, and he was invested in benefitting from her side of things.
He was flipping through her script later on that day, the tickle in his throat having worsened as it wore on until he was coughing into his closed fist. He frowned and shook his head, thinking he would ask for tea after his hair and makeup were done for the day. Just as he was turning a page the door opened and he glanced up to see her coming in.
"Oh, hi again," he said, grinning at her. She was still shy but not as mortified as earlier as she set his script back down in front of him, his name staring up at him in his own messy scrawl from the cover. And she had clipped it together for him with a clip like hers.
"Here you go, I'm sorry again," she said. Taehyung smiled at her, hearing all the notes he had read in her voice in his head now. He liked the way she dressed, cute but professional in a vintage, eclectic sort of way that really complimented what he knew of her personality.
"I said not to be sorry," he teased. He pointed at one of her notes in the script and raised an eyebrow. "'Sounds hot' it says here?" She gasped and reached out, grabbing the script from him and closing it quickly.
"Oh gosh I'm so embarrassed," she whined, bringing a hand up to cover her face.
"Don't be embarrassed," he chuckled, reaching for his own script. "And thank you for the clip."
A full day of shooting later, Taehyung hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of her as she ran around on the set, giving direction and working with the other production assistants. He found himself smiling unconsciously as he watched her, endeared by everything she did. He coughed a little, and turned his attention back to work.
—
Flash forward to Taehyung in the present, sitting back on his heels and staring at the flowers in his toilet which he had just been choking on, and vomited up to clear his windpipe. His heart was racing and his mind was frozen in fear. This couldn't be happening, he had just met the girl it was just a crush, he thought. No way. This wasn't love, these - these flowers were a fluke. As if in answer he suddenly gagged again, leaning over the basin and spitting another flower into the bowl, wiping tears from his cheeks and spit from his chin when he pulled away again.
Taehyung ran over his options in his head. He could do nothing and wait for the flowers to slowly grow in his lungs until he suffocated. Not an appealing idea in his opinion. He could see a doctor and have the operation to remove the flowers before they could kill him. There were a lot of side affects to the surgery though and it was a hassle - the simplest option would be to get the girl to reciprocate.
Taehyung nodded to himself. It shouldn't be too hard, right? The way she had looked at him when he dropped his script was promising - she surely had an interest in him at least. All he had to get her to do was - what, kiss him? Sleep with him? Anything like that would probably do. He pushed up from the floor and washed his face, brushed his teeth and peered at himself in the mirror. The face that so many had praised for its handsomeness looked back at him and Taehyung was only just a little bit nervous. She would reciprocate...right?
—
He spent the following week of filming trying to get her to pay attention to him, but Taehyung was slowly realizing he might not actually be very good at flirting. Had never really had a reason in the past, but he needed to figure it out because his symptoms were getting worse.
"Tae, I have a solo scene today and I was wondering if-"
"Hey, you know that girl in production, with the short brown hair and the big eyes?" Taehyung interrupted his costar, frowning.
"Uhm...I think so?"
"Do you know anything about her?"
"No, not really."
Taehyung frowned and looked at the man that was talking to him, his little face pinched in confusion.
"Damn," he sighed. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
"I was just wondering if you would have time to just sort of be on set while I was filming...if you can't that's fine, but I'd love your feedback if you can!"
"Oh yeah, sure Jimin," Taehyung said. The man smiled up at him and Taehyung felt an urge to reach out and pat his head but he restrained himself, just returning his smile instead. "Alright, I'll catch you later," he said, ducking around Jimin and hurrying off to find the girl. He had some down time, so now was a perfect opportunity to try and talk to her again.
He caught a glimpse of her disappearing around a corner and hurried that way.
"Hey," he called. She paused and looked back at him, a hand coming up to tuck her hair behind her ear. Taehyung paused. Wow. "Um. I mean - hey. Uh, how are you?" She blinked, a touch of confusion flitting across her face.
"I'm - okay, thank you?"
"Do you want to have a drink with me?" Taehyung spat then, cursing himself for his inability to be smooth again. Her face cleared though, and she smiled.
"Really?"
He didn't really know how it happened, but a couple hours later they were back at his apartment and he was kissing her, his hands sliding over her hips and his chest feeling tight, breathless. He pleaded with his body to just give him a little bit of time without coughing up any flowers. Once he was finished tonight they'd be gone anyway and he didn't need to ruin the mood with his weird talent. He was walking her backward toward his bedroom and she stumbled into his chest, letting out a breathy giggle and looking up at him, her hands grasping his shoulders to keep from falling.
Their eyes met and Taehyung couldn't believe this was happening, she was really here with him, in his arms, in his apartment, headed to his bed. His smile widened and he scooped her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and carrying her the rest of the way.
"Is this okay?" He asked, laying her down on her back on the bed while he leaned away to tug his shirt off over his head. Her eyes slid over his body and her hands reached for his waist.
"Yes," she breathed, looking excited and flushed. "You probably worry about someone coming back later and saying they weren't okay right? So I'm telling you now, yes, I want this," she said, biting her lip nervously.
Taehyung felt like she had worded that a bit oddly, but he ignored that thought for now as he leaned back down and kissed her again, his hands sliding over her chest. He had imagined this repeatedly for days and had to admit, the real thing was better than any fantasy. She responded well to all his touches and he wanted to kiss her everywhere, started with her neck, drawing little whimpers from her with each movement of his lips, trailing his mouth down to her collar. As he kissed her he slowly unbuttoned her top, praising himself for being able to focus on both tasks at once, even though his head was clouded with the taste of her skin on his tongue.
When her shirt was open she sat up long enough to remove it and he stripped her of her bra as well, falling back down with his mouth on her breasts, hand pushing between her thighs. She couldn't keep still beneath him as he sucked at her nipple, tongue flicking it and hand delving beneath the waistband of her pants. She inhaled sharply as his fingers moved along her heat through her panties, feeling her out over the fabric. He teasingly traced along her slit, rubbing at the mound where her clit would be if he could see to touch it directly. She tilted her head back and let out a moan and Taehyung raised his head to watch her expression as he pressed a little harder, feeling dampness start to soak through the thin panties when he applied pressure.
"You feel so good," he murmured, fingers drifting up to finally push past the band of her underwear and delving down to touch her. She gasped when he rubbed three fingers along her slit, slicked with her wetness, warm and soft. "Fuck," he breathed, watching her face as he pushed two fingers into her. "God you're so wet."
"Taehyung," she whined, reaching down to push at her pants until she could kick them off. Taehyung pulled back and helped her remove them, looking down at her hungrily. "Come on," she said breathily, spreading her legs and looking up at him hopefully.
Taehyung didn't need to be told twice, he quickly removed his pants and grabbed a condom from the bedside table, feeling a jolt of pride when he noticed the way her eyes caught on his cock in his hand as he rolled the rubber over it. He had been nervous that he wouldn't be able to get her off, always had a little bit of worry around this sort of thing. But she squirmed beneath him when he pushed inside, hands holding her thighs open as he began to rock in and out. She lifted her legs and he hooked one over his shoulder, spreading her wider and allowing himself to go deeper until she was moaning and whining loudly. Her face was screwed up in pleasure and Taehyung held himself back for as long as he could, thrusting into her and letting a hand fall down to rub at her clit.
"Oh my god oh my god Taehyung-" she whimpered, squirming beneath him.
"Come on baby," he growled, leaning over her and pushing her leg back farther, cock buried as deep as he could go.
She threw her head back and he felt her clenching around him, hands fisted in the sheets as she cried out. He watched her orgasm spread through her and finally let himself go as she was finishing, filling the condom as her body relaxed beneath his.
He pulled out and cleaned up and lay down next to her, sighing happily and letting his eyes closed.
"Wow," he breathed, wiping a bead of sweat from his temple and scooting toward her.
"Yeah," she agreed, leaning back a little. Taehyung scooted closer again but she got up from the bed, reaching for her clothes. "Bathroom?" She asked. Taehyung's chest fluttered nervously but he pointed silently toward the bathroom, watching her duck into it. He grabbed his underwear, feeling a tickle in his throat that he tried to keep down. She came out of the bathroom fully dressed and Taehyung felt a rock drop into his stomach, chest tightening nervously.
"You're going?" He asked. She nodded, looking a little sorry.
"Yeah, I have an early morning. Wish I could stay."
Taehyung looked up at her and she crossed the room shyly, moving toward him.
"I had a good time," he told her, not sure what he was supposed to say now, wishing she wanted to stay with him so he could hold her, talk to her, learn everything about her.
"Me too," she said, smiling to herself. "I'll remember it forever, my night with Kim Taehyung."
Taehyung could feel his lungs struggling to operate on their own, he needed to clear his airway. None of this had gone the way he expected.
"Maybe - we can do it again sometime," he said with some difficulty.
"Maybe we can some day," she agreed, not sounding convinced. "But after we finish shooting I'm going home and I don't know when I'll be back to Korea. This has been a dream but - I'm ready to return to my normal life. I think I want something a little smaller, you know? I could never live the kind of life you do." She smiled at him a little sadly but then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before turning and waving. "See you around!"
Taehyung listened to her walk through his apartment to the door, slip on her shoes, and leave, the door clicking closed behind her. Then he bent over and vomited pink flowers all over his bedroom floor.
—
Taehyung moved through the motions after that, feeling dead inside and struggling to breathe. He tried to focus but he kept seeing her and every time he did it brought a rush of flowers to his throat. He couldn't get into his work, had to shoot for twice as long as usual to get usable footage. Finally after a week of sleepless nights, raw vocal chords, and underperforming at work, he had enough.
"I can't live like his," Taehyung sobbed, head hanging over the rim of his toilet, the bowl once again filled with pretty pink flowers. Taehyung had heard murmurs around the set, caught glances and seen whispering. The women seemed to think that he was sleeping his way through the production assistants, or maybe that he had done this with other crews before. Taehyung didn't blame the girl, it was his fault for not being clear. But she had been very clear. She didn't want the life that he could offer. It would never be the small, normal feeling she craved. Taehyung was a celebrity. And he came to the conclusion that everyone's life would be easier if he just had the surgery.
He made the appointment and when he went in he broke into a coughing fit so violent he had to breathe into an oxygen mask when he finally expelled the flowers.
"Son, are you sure you want to go through with this?" The doctor still had the audacity to ask as he looked down at Taehyung's bloodshot eyes and blue lips, his face flushed and damp with sweat. "You know about all the side effects?"
"Just get these things out of me," Taehyung spat, gasping for breath.
When he woke from surgery he felt like a new man. His chest was light and fresh and he hadn't breathed this deeply in weeks. And the best part was, when he tried to recall the person he had the surgery because of - he had no clue. Couldn't tell you her name or what she looked like or where he knew her from. Taehyung was happy.
He went back to work, much more professional now, able to do everything like he used to and better. His scenes went smoothly and all his interactions at work were easy. He was less anxious and spoke to everyone in a business-like manner.
"Tae!" He turned when he heard an excited voice, seeing his costar behind him.
"Jimin, what can I do for you?" He asked, smiling easily.
"Well I was wondering if you would come watch my scene later and give me pointers again? It was so helpful last time."
"Of course!"
After Jimin's shooting was complete they went to a quiet area to discuss it.
"I don't know why you always ask me for help Jimin, you're an amazing actor. You always execute your lines so well and you emote better than most people I've seen. You really don't need me," Taehyung said, shaking his head and smiling.
"Well...maybe it's a little bit that I just want to spend a little extra time with you," Jimin murmured shyly, looking down, his cheeks flushing. "I mean-" he suddenly broke off, turning his head to cough into his hand. He coughed for a moment and then took a deep, slow breath, clearing his throat and calming down. "Sorry about that," he said, dabbing at the corners of his eyes.
Taehyung frowned and tilted his head.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah," Jimin said, nodding. "Yeah I just - have been having some trouble lately."
"You know," Taehyung said, "I had some trouble myself. I don't mean to assume, but if I were you I'd get the surgery."
Jimin blinked at him in disbelief.
"You what?"
"It's the easiest option. You can clear that right up, if it's what I think it is."
"But - what if the other person could - feel the same?" Jimin asked, his voice small, his eyes fixed on Taehyung.
"In my experience, it's easier to just get the surgery. People are unpredictable, and they'll just disappoint you."
"But - but I love...the person," Jimin said, his eyes watering a little. "I look up to them and I like being around them - what if I get the surgery and it makes me forget they exist all together?"
"That's even better," Taehyung said, reaching out to grab Jimin's arm encouragingly. The man's eyelids fluttered for just a moment before focusing on his face again and he seemed to lean into Taehyung's touch. "Then you don't have to worry about those feelings ever again."
"But - don't some people - lose the ability to love altogether? I don't think...I don't think I want that. My feelings about this person are just - too important." Jimin was searching Taehyung's eyes intently, but for what he didn't know.
"I'm telling you," Taehyung said, shaking his head. "It's much simpler like this. Anyway, I've got to go, alright? Great job today." He turned away, moving to leave the room.
"Wait, Tae," Jimin said, grabbing his arm. "Can I just - do something really quick?"
"What?" Taehyung asked, tilting his head and blinking.
"Ah - I just - this." Jimin moved closer to him and Taehyung waited, letting him approach, even when Jimin was far too close. Even when Jimin's eyes closed and his head tilted and he leaned in and pressed his lips against Taehyung's. Even when Jimin's hands came to cup his face and deepen the kiss. It was pleasant, the sensation of kissing Jimin. Taehyung didn't mind it. He tilted his head in answer and let himself move with him, kissing the man back softly. Finally Jimin pulled away, inhaling a shaky breath and letting his eyes open slowly, staring at Taehyung as if waiting for him to speak.
"That was nice," Taehyung said.
"Nice?" Jimin asked, some emotion Taehyung couldn't discern on his face.
"Yes. Thanks," Taehyung said. It felt a bit awkward, but it was just Jimin, and he liked Jimin. This was fine. He felt nothing.
"Y-yeah," Jimin murmured. Then his breath caught and he was stepping back, covering his mouth and coughing violently, his eyes screwed up and face going red. Taehyung patted his back and grabbed a trash can, watching Jimin spit pink flowers into it and nodding knowingly.
"Get the surgery, Jimin. You'll feel better," he told him. When Jimin was done coughing and was breathing more easily again he straightened up, looking up at Taehyung with wet cheeks and red lips.
"I could never," he breathed. Taehyung shook his head.
"Well, I wish you luck then. See you tomorrow," he said, giving Jimin's back a final pat and heading out for the day.
—
Only he didn't see Jimin the next day.
He didn't see Jimin ever again.
Jimin really should have gotten the surgery.
—
Thanks one more time to our local creative bitch saveme1800 for integrating one of my favorite tropes into this commission! If you're into the idea of the flower thing it's called Hanahaki disease and I have a special book dedicated to short stories involving the disease!