Angie's Christmas Eve had gone well enough until the lights went out. After a day spent drinking eggnog, eating fruitcake and watching Christmas movies, by the time the evening rolled in, she was reasonably warm, tipsy and sleepy.
She didn't want to be with anyone. Not like she had a lot of options. Christine was no longer her friend, Jessie was gone, and Kay had better stay home for Christmas.
Browsing Netflix in the dark gave her a headache, so she turned on the lamp by the couch. The light flickered for a moment, then the entire apartment plunged into darkness.
"Well, fuck," she said good-naturedly, turning on the flashlight on her phone.
She stood from the couch and wobbled to the window. The building across the street had power so it most likely wasn't a blackout. It must be her own fusing.
Her phone beeped and warned that the battery was critically low. To be fair, she couldn't remember the last time she'd charged it. So with the little light it could still provide, she dug out the candles she still had and lit them. It wasn't much of an improvement, but better than nothing.
Then, like the experienced electrician she was, she used the phone battery she had left to check her fuse box. Except it was above the exit, too high up for her to reach even perched on the chair she dragged in from the kitchen, and she wouldn't really know what to do even if she could reach.
"I need an electrician," she declared into the semi-darkness.
Except it was Christmas Eve and late already, so finding someone who would work at this hour seemed impossible, especially when she had no idea who to call and she had no phone or internet.
She'd never needed an electrician before. She'd always had Tom, or if things were too complicated, Jimmy. Now Jimmy was in Huston. They hadn't flown back for the holidays because they were taking off in two days and Sarah had decided to go there instead. Sam was probably still on that mysterious mission,and Kyle should stay with Kay. Which only left option number one. Tom.
"Calling him over would he stupid." But her battery was dying out so it was now or never. She really wanted to watch another brain-numbing movie before bed.
Spending Christmas alone, the first Christmas without her family, was not easy. She needed more eggnog. But first, he dialed Tom's number. Maybe he had plans, but she didn't care right then. He owed her TV.
"Angie?" he asked stupidly, as if he couldn't read the damn name on his screen.
"Hi," she said, "I need your help, could you come over? My battery is about to die. Thanks." And she hung up, then giggled a little.
He was probably panicking, wondering what was going on. A part of her expected him to want to track her watch, but since she told him to come over, there was no point.
So for the following minutes, she unlocked the door and busied herself with moving the candles off the kitchen table and to the counters, as well as the ones near the couch to make sure nothing caught fire. It was a habit she'd developed when they used candles for entirely different purposes. The thought startled her a little, but another glass of eggnog fixed her worries. Then, she sat on the kitchen table, leaned back on her hands, and crossed her legs.
Huh, maybe she should change into something nicer. She wore leggings and a checkered shirt-dress which was fine for moping around the house. Maybe she should take the leggings off and keep the dress, but then she'd be wearing fluffy reindeer socks so that wasn't very sexy either.
Why did she want to be sexy again?
To punish him.
That sounded legit. It was his fault he wasn't there and Christmas wasn't wonderful.
A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. Just how much time had she been hallucinating on top of the table?
"Come in," she called.
The door opened and Tom burst in, right into the chair she'd dragged over to check the fuse box. He swore profusely and turned to the kitchen, then froze, taking in the candles and her on the table.
"Angie, what are you doing?"
She'd always liked the way his skin shone in the candlelight. To be honest, she'd never been a fan of the romantic crap because it killed spontaneity, but the candles were her thing especially because she loved to see him glow. Every inch of him...
"Angie?" He now sounded worried which was pretty legitimate.
"Sorry." She shook her head and straightened. "I think there's something wrong with the fuse box. I have no electricity and the lamp next to the couch sort of popped right before the power went out."
"That explains the chair," he said, sounding amused now. He still had the sunglasses on and she hated them.
He walked back into the hall, searched the drawers of the cabinet there and shone a flashlight on the fuse box. Oh, right, they had one of those.
"This should be an easy fix. I hope." He pulled the chair closer, climbed on it and opened the fuse box.
Angie watched him messing inside, lifting levers and pushing buttons. Now that she was single, she should totally figure out how those things worked, where everything inside her apartment was. While she was at it, she should think about getting a smaller place. What good was a three bedroom apartment when she lived alone?
"Here we go." Tom pulled another lever and the TV came to life. "The lamp's bulb is probably out and the fuse popped."
"Pop goes the weasel," she said with a wise nod.
"You okay there?" His voice was playful as he jumped off the chair and brought it to the kitchen.
"Just some eggnog," she said as if the answer made sense.
"How much eggnog?"
"Not that much." She pulled the bottle from behind her and presented it. There was barely any left. Okay, maybe it was more than she thought. "Okay, it looks bad, but I drank it over the entire day and I had a lot of fruitcake and a nap at some point."
"Making the most out of Christmas, then," he said with a smirk.
"You're just jealous I stole your ideal Christmas idea."
"I'm not going to deny that. I'd do anything to get out of mine. Mom is even more mopey than usual, and that's saying something." He shook his head though he still looked amused. "Feels weird to be the sensitive one stuck at home."
"Maybe you could use some eggnog." She waved the bottle in his face.
He winced. "No, thanks, I'm driving." He hesitated, looking her up and down, probably. "I should go."
She didn't want him to go. He was fun. "How about some fruitcake then?"
He didn't jump on it like she hoped he would. Didn't jump on her either, even if that was maybe for the best. But the familiarity of having him there, joking around with him, was making the day so much brighter.
"Come on," she pressed on. "Would you really rather go home to your mom? I bet she'd rather you stayed here too."
"I won't deny that." Even if he seemed to entertain the idea, he still wasn't biting.
"Look, I'll send her a text." She grabbed her phone from next to her butt and typed Hello Mrs. Grant. Tom is at my place, we're spending Christmas Eve/Day together. Hope that's okay. Merry Christmas! And then a bunch of lame emojis to make the text friendlier.
"Wait, did you just...?"
She held her phone up and he finally walked to her and stared at it. A buzz indicated that Maxi Grant had probably answered, too
"Wow, that was fast," Tom said. "She is thrilled, wishes you a Merry Christmas and your phone just died."
"It did?" She turned it over and the screen was indeed black. "Shoot."
"You should charge it."
"Why? You're here. It's not like anyone else gets crazy it I don't answer." She realized what she was saying the moment the last word came out of her mouth. Great. The eggnog was going to end up ruining her Christmas.
But to her utter surprise, Tom just chuckled. "I wouldn't underestimate Kay's maternal instincts. She can get pretty pushy."
"Riiight. Then I'm really not charging it. She needs to focus on Kyle for a change."
Tom smiled, but it was sad, so she guessed he was just as aware as her that things between Kyle and Kay were less then great. To be perfectly honest, they were better off, and they weren't even a couple anymore.
"Fruitcake?" she asked again. "Wine?"
"I don't drink anymore, Angie."
"Wait, like not at all?"
His smile turned bitter. "I thought you'd appreciate the need for abstinence. Maybe I'll start drinking socially again at some point, but when I can be trusted. When I'm happy."
She reached out and grabbed his hand, then pulled him closer to the table. Before he could react in any way, she snatched his sunglasses. He looked better than he had at his father's funeral, but there were still markings of exhaustion on his face.
"Not getting much sleep?" she asked, trying not to think how it might be because of her.
"More like it's bad quality sleep," he said. "I've sort of spiraled into unhealthy habits, but the new mission will probably help me bounce back."
"Or kill us all," Angie said fairly.
He huffed. "Oh yes, or that. At least Jerry and Jimmy will escape since they're in outer space and everything."
"I can't believe the Agency couldn't wait for them to return."
"Time waits for no one," he said dramatically.
"Oh yes, I'm sure some piece of crap that's been lying in a pyramid or whatnot for thousands of years would be terribly inconvenienced if it had to wait two more weeks."
They both started laughing and it felt so freeing, so nice. So familiar. It was very easy for her to put her hands on his cheeks, and when he looked at her, it was the gaze she knew so well. This was possible, they were possible, if only... She leaned closer to him.
"Angie," he whispered. "Don't do this. You're tipsy and I'm exhausted. And it doesn't change anything. I still slept with Suzanna."
Oh yes, that annoying copy-cat. The thought of his hands all over her was a complete turn off. Except this time, her need to be next to him, to kiss him, was just a little bit greater.
"Did you kiss her? While you screwed her?"
"No. I held her up against a bathroom door. Hardly the time and place to get romantic. But I do think I might have kissed her before."
That thought also hurt. "While thinking she was me?"
"You know there's no other way I would've even touched her," he whispered.
At the moment, it was enough for her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed his lips to his. For a moment, she felt resistance, then he took her in his arms and kissed her like he had so many times before, with a perpetual need and a fire that had her toes curling. How she'd missed him, the feeling of intimacy, that she wasn't alone in the world. They were a team, in it together, two underdogs against the world.
Her hands fumbled with his hoodie, but he grabbed them and pulled away. The longing in his eyes made her decide he was crazy. How could he stop when he obviously needed her too, wanted her?
"I'm sorry, babe, but I can't let you do this," he said. "You deserve much better than me."
"Are you leaving?" Her voice broke and the show of weakness hurt.
"Not if you don't want me to, but no more kissing or anything."
"Movie then?"
He hesitated since they had a very poor history of finishing movies, but he finally nodded. So they settled on the couch, in front of the TV, and he let her lay her head down in his lap, and stroked her hair until she fell asleep.
And the next morning, when she woke up, she was in bed, fully dressed, and he was sleeping on the couch.
Yes, they could get along, and she felt so much better seeing him there. But he'd been right the previous night. With her head free from eggnog, and without the traitorous light of the candles, it was very hard to imagine him ever touching her again without her thinking that those hands had been on another woman.
♠️
Kay had never had a crappier Christmas in her life. Or maybe she had and it was lost in the depths of repressed memories. The difference this time was that she was with Kyle. She was supposed to be happy.
They hadn't celebrated anything. No tree, no home cooked meal, and just one present each. Kyle had given her spa tickets to take Angie, which, even if impersonal as fuck compared to what he usually got her, she had to admit she needed. She'd gotten him so sheet music for his guitar, even if she was aware he always wrote his own. But he'd seemed excited about it and promised he'd try it out.
But after that... Kyle had signed up to be on call on Christmas Day at the Station without telling her, and was now preparing to go to work. Leaving her alone.
As she stood with her back against the kitchen counter and watched him buttoning up the final buttons of his uniform, she wanted to scream.
He looked peaceful. More peaceful actually than she had seen him in a while. But then again, she hadn't seen him much lately. He was on call all the time, and he spent a lot of his nights away from her. She'd really hoped last night and today would be different, that they would finally get their relationship back on track.
Instead, he was ready to leave and not see her for yet another day. He walked to her and grabbed his coffee mug. It was a weird thing in itself that he was drinking coffee now. She felt like she didn't know him anymore.
He stayed next to her, so close that his scent intoxicated her. She looked up just to find him studying her. He didn't look upset, didn't look thoughtful.
Kay swallowed heavily, the heat of him getting to her so fast and so effective. If she only raised on the tip of her toes, she could kiss him. But the truth was, she wanted him to kiss her, to show her he wanted and needed her.
Come on, you can do it. So she gazed back at him with curious eyes, parting her lips ever so slightly in an obvious invitation. He didn't bite, not yet, just leaned a tiny bit closer. She was reminded of the time he'd first told her that he loved her, how he'd kept her waiting, touching her just the smallest bit and driving her insane with anticipation.
Her hands, still holding her own mug, moved a little and touched the back of his. Then she nibbled on her lower lip and closed her eyes. She could feel him getting closer.
"What exactly are you expecting?" he whispered in her ear.
Her eyes snapped open. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I want you to tell me why the subtle touching, the lip biting."
Shame ignited the pit of her stomach and she pulled away. "Isn't it obvious?"
"It's obvious that you were waiting for me to kiss you. I'm not exactly sure why you expected me to, though."
Her cheeks also caught fire and she hated how small and stupid he made her feel. It would be so easy for him to fix everything. All he had to do was take her in his arms and kiss her. They could take it from there.
He leaned over her, their foreheads almost touching, grinning. "Cat got your tongue?"
"You're insufferable," she said between her teeth.
"No, I'm not." He put his mug on the counter and stepped back. "I'm just calling you out because someone should. If you want to kiss me, just kiss me, don't stand back and expect me to do everything."
"Everything? You haven't done anything but sulk and be completely dissatisfied with everything for months!"
"And you've done what exactly to try and fix that?"
"Why should I fix it? It's you who's got a problem!"
He frowned and the temperature in the room seemed to drop a few degrees. "Of course I have a problem. You bring another guy home and then sexually manipulate me."
"That again?" She rolled her eyes for good measure.
"Yes, that again. Because it won't go away. Our relationship will not just go back to normal, not if you don't put some work into it."
How dare he? "I put everything into it!"
"Expecting me to take the burnt and just let it go is not putting anything into it. For as long as we've been together, it's always been the same. Something goes wrong, Kyle fixes it. You mess up, say you're sorry, then I have to fix it and we're all good. If I mess up, you're all over my ass. I don't expect you to be perfect Kay, but I'm fed up with you being a bystander."
Tears filled her eyes and she dropped her own mug to clench her fists. This wasn't fair. He made their relationship feel like a complete mess he only tolerated.
"I'm not a bystander. I gave you everything."
He shook his head. "No, you didn't. You just got comfortable and now you feel like I owe it to you to keep the relationship going. Well, guess what? I'm tired. When we met, I tried so hard to teach you independence, but I fell in love with you and failed to notice I was letting you latch on to me the way you'd latched on to Danny before."
His words hurt because she could see some truth in them. But it had always been so comfortable, so easy to let him lead, only stepping in when she didn't agree.
"You didn't seem to mind getting your way constantly," she said, her voice low and filled with annoyance. "You liked the way things were going."
He sighed, and the finality of it froze her blood. "Yes, but I don't anymore. I want a relationship in which we're equal partners, not one in which I drag you along after me."
"That's so not true!"
"Isn't it?" he asked, sounding annoyed. "You're so afraid of rejection, you won't take a tiny chance to kiss me when you want to. How am I supposed to expect you to handle bigger issues? You won't even apologize for a major fuck up and keep deflecting and trying to make me the bad guy. I'm done." He held out his arms. "No more rabbits in my hat to make it right."
It sounded so final. "So this is it? You're breaking up with me? On Christmas Day?"
His smile was bitter. "Look at you. Making me the bad guy again. No. I'll leave the pleasure of deciding the fate of this relationship and owning up to it to you." And just like that, he walked away from her, grabbed his jacket, and was out the door.
For what felt like hours, Kay just stared into empty space, tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't believe he'd left her like that, left such a responsibility on her shoulder. How was she supposed to know if he wanted to break up or not? She had no idea what she wanted. Her impulsiveness screamed that she should pack her things and just leave. Cut him off and let it be over. But she was aware that would just be meant to teach him a lesson. She couldn't imagine her life without him.
This is stupid. I shouldn't even be considering this. She needed people.
So she picked up her phone and called Angie. For what felt like forever, she didn't answer, then she picked up.
"Hi, Kay," she said. "Merry Christmas! I don't want you to come over. I'm fine. Tom's here."
"What?" Kay asked, before she could help herself.
"Yes. And given how you haven't gotten over it, I don't think it would be a good idea for you to also be here. Plus, you should stay with Kyle. Tell him we say hi. Bye." And Angie hung up, just like that.
Kay stared at her phone. What the hell? Angie hadn't even let her get a word in. And she was with Tom? Out of all people? On Christmas? What the hell was she thinking?
But the message was clear. She would find no solace in Angie, not when she was being an idiot and hooked on Tom. And why couldn't he get the sense to leave her alone?
Angry, Kay texted him. Why can't you just leave her alone?
His answer was almost instant. She's lonely Kay, get off her back. We're just hanging out as friends.
She wished she could be angrier, but as much as she was furious at Tom right now, she also still trusted him. He'd never gone back on his word.
Feeling the need to throw something, she started pacing around the kitchen. Jessie would've been so useful right then, though she would probably take Kyle's side. So no. Gah, didn't she have any friends she could talk to? Her first thought was Eric, but complaining about Kyle to him sounded like a bad idea.
So, even if she didn't want to ruin her Christmas, Kay picked up her phone again and called Kelly. They had been friends before she knew Kyle, so there was a chance for some sympathy and advice.
She picked up after three rings, her voice filled with wild excitement. "Kay! I was just about to call you! Merry Christmas! Oh, wait until you hear this!"
"Hi, Kelly," Kay mumbled. "I sort of need to--"
"Joey proposed!" Kelly practically yelled into the phone. "Last night, on Christmas Eve! It was so romantic and I had no idea it was coming. Well, not that I wasn't expecting it after Sonia and Dustin's wedding, but I thought he'd do it on Valentine's or something. But anyway! We're getting married!"
Kay's throat clogged up and her every heartbeat was filled with pain, as if her heart had been surrounded by barbed wire and every movement dug it deeper into her flesh. This couldn't be happening, not now.
"Of course I want you to be my maid of honor," Kelly prattled on.
"Of course," Kay whispered. She couldn't ruin this for Kelly, couldn't tell her that she and Kyle were on the verge of breaking up and it was all up to her.
"Are you okay?" Kelly suddenly asked.
"Yes, sure, I'm just a little shocked."
"Long time coming." Kelly giggled. "We've really come a long way, haven't we? I'm sure you and Kyle are right around the corner."
"Yeah..." If the corner led down a cliff and into nothingness.
Kay managed to keep up small talk for another minute, and after Kelly hung up, she just threw her phone on the couch, dropped on a chair and leaned her head on the kitchen table. She just wanted to die.
♠️♠️♠️
I missed updating this for a while and it's not longer Christmas, but there you go! I kinda had fun with this because writing tipsy people and heartache is my thing. Part 2 is so close to being over (just one chapter and a half left) and then we can move on towards our adventure.
Question. Do you want Tom and Angie getting back together? They're obviously still able to get along.
And should Kay call it quits? Will she?
Stay tuned and find out! (also Jelly wedding, yay!).
Thanks for reading and don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed this chapter.