The following 13 days were a blur.
Lilah had continued to visit, bringing me a fresh batch of herbs every few days. At first, she only came while I slept but when my heat hit its peak her presence stayed. My heat had started to drive me mad. The herbs were effective but at my worst, they did little to help. The she-wolf had tended to me with cold water and words.
She spoke, I could barely remember what she had said but her voice had helped keep me sane. When things had calmed down she tended to the wounds on my stomach, checking their healing process and never asking what they were from.
She never asked questions.
She spoke with a guarded gentleness that I could respect. Neither of us trusted the other but the mutual understanding allowed me to feel at ease with her during my cycle.
I did my best to eat the offerings she brought but barely was I able to stomach most of the food.
Now, my heat was over and only the slightly addictive scent clung to my skin. I still felt the need to be mated, to bed with someone but the blinding urge was no longer there. I was in control. The urges were just aftermath, a passing feeling with no power over me.
Standing up, I stretched out my arms, muscles and joints popping, my body felt cramped and sore from all of the tension over the last two weeks. It had been hell and I was thankful for the help I was given. I didn't want or need it anymore. Leaving was now the priority for me and as I finished stretching I started for the entrance of the cave.
The Alpha, Aegis, he hadn't spoken to me since the first day. His scent covered the outside of the den and I knew he had sat the entrance many nights. I had called to him a few times, begged him, but he never answered. My pleads ignored.
I rubbed my bare chest as a pang of hurt hit me. Trying to ignore it I finally stepped out into the sun's bright rays.
"Omega!" The air was becoming colder as fall started to make its presence known. I looked over to where the voice had called out, Lilah was making her way towards me. A large basket occupying her hands.
"Good morning, I take it you are feeling better?" She sounded cheerful but there was a simple dull tone that wrapped around her words. Lilah wasn't a very bright and excited type of person. She was much more mellow, and I enjoyed the somberness.
I nodded at her words in answering.
"If you would, please follow me. I'll take you to a stream so you may wash up. I've brought clothes for you to wear when you have finished." I watched as she turned her back, expecting me to follow, and headed away from the den.
Hesitating, I watched her back, unsure if I should go. Although I was grateful for the care she had given me, I still refused to trust the she-wolf. I refused to trust this pack. Originally, when I had woken up I had decided to leave before she arrived. It would be easier escaping while no one was around. I didn't want her or her Alpha to force me to stay.
My hesitation didn't go unnoticed. Lilah stopped and looked back at me. A delicate brow raised. "Omega, I will not force you to bathe, but your scent is still heavy with heat and I'm sure you don't wish to attract unwanted attention when you depart." With those words, she turned and continued on her path.
Her blunt words rang with truth and a small part of me hoped I was truly free to leave. I looked away from her and out into the landscape. It was the unknown that looked welcoming but she was right. I didn't want to attract unnecessary attention when I left here. Taking a deep breath I took a timid step forward as if to test the waters with my wolf. If he felt differently about bathing I would dart the opposite way.
He gave me no reaction. He was tired and empty from the heat but didn't feel trapped being near Lilah. It was a good sign. I continued the path following the female.
We didn't walk far from the cave before we came across a slow-moving stream, the water looked refreshing and I went straight to the water's edge. More eager than I had thought I would be about washing my sticky body.
The cool liquid splashed at my feet and it was all the beckoning I needed before fully submerging myself. The small stream was barely waist deep but I still sunk my body as far into the water as I could without laying down. It was refreshing.
"When you have finished there is a wrap laid out for you." I jumped when the she-wolf started to speak, forgetting she was there. "We won't force you to stay but Aegis has asked me to provide you with this and to show you the herbs needed to aid you when your heat cycle comes." I tried to hide the flinch at the males' name but nodded at her words.
I felt rejected.
I knew I didn't want to stay but he didn't want me to stay either, and that hurt. That fact was clear.
I closed my eyes and leaned back into the water until my hair was engulfed by the liquid. My mind replaying the chase and what had happened.
He had called his pack to ensure he didn't taint them by mating a branded Omega. It hurt.
My disobedience would forever be engraved into my skin. My heat had caused hope to spur inside. It had caused my wolf to see a future that we weren't meant to have.
The Alpha had been a small flicker of light, one that quickly blew out at his one word.
Mistake.
The sting of emotion ran through me, an ugly feeling. I didn't want to feel anything towards a wolf I didn't know. I was stupid for placing any form of feelings into a stranger. His one act of kindness going to my head. I was running before I found my balance to even stand.
Images of Pierce started to play in my head and I immediately felt guilty. The emotions I held for him had been real and they still remained.
I still missed him.
Still craved him.
I wanted to see Pierce.
Wanted him in ways that I knew would only bring him shame.
I needed to forget him, but his presence was in my words. His face was in my eyes. His scent still clung to my nose. His touch still tingled my skin.
Yet my wolf cursed his words.
My wolf cursed his Cat for ignoring us.
I raged at his lies but understood him completely.
The warnings had been there.
He never once told me I was his.
Never once told me he was my home.
I was never pack.
He only showed me kindness, met the needs that I had, and taught me the words I could now speak.
I needed to remember him in the light that he deserved.
Forgiveness was harder then I thought when my heart continued to cry for him.
When my mind's only want was to be angry at him.
My wolf growled and pushed against my mind, telling me to move on. He was over the wallowing. He was determined now, more than ever to find a mate. He didn't care about the mark we wore. He wanted to find his future and staying put wouldn't do that.
Stupid wolf.
He would only be heartbroken in the end but I knew I owed him this much. I owed him a chance to explore whatever was out there.
Opening my eyes I sat up and ran my hands through my drenched hair. Sighing I looked down at my body. I'd lost weight again. The heat had prevented me from being able to eat as I should have but my stomach wasn't sunken in as it had been weeks ago. If I could provide for myself I would soon look healthier than I'd ever imagined. I just needed to find my strength.
My fingers trailed along the angry red scars. They were raised and the skin around them was stretched and itchy. There was still some pain but it was more of an ache, one that I doubted would ever go away: the scars more than likely wouldn't fade either.
It was a different type of brand.
My wolf whined lowly as I continued to trace them, losing myself in thoughts as I replayed that night in my head.
I was so consumed with the memories that I didn't notice the wolf that was suddenly in the water standing in front of me.
"Do they bring you pain?" I yelped at the voice falling back as I took notice of the Alpha.
He was naked and looking down at me with concerned eyes.
I felt my face heat as he took a tentative step forward. I tried to scramble into a standing position only to lose my balance on the slippery stones beneath my feet, but the Alpha caught me with gentle hands. Hands that gripped my upper arms and steadied me before releasing and finding their way to my face. I was dumbfounded as I stared into the icy eyes, shock seemed more of an understatement when his thumbs started to caress under my eyes.
His lips were curved downward, the frown causing slight wrinkles to form on his forehead.
I just blinked at him, too stunned to even know how to respond. I wasn't prepared for this. For him to be here, to be this close, to be looking at me.
Even my wolf was awestruck.
"Why are you crying?" His words jerked me out of my stumper and I yanked my head away from his warm hands and rubbed aggressively at my face. I hadn't even realized I had been crying.
I let a growl out when I notice one of his hands start to come up. I didn't want to be touched. Turning my back to him I made my way out of the stream. I'd washed enough and now all I wanted to do was get away from the Alpha.
Unconsciously I took a sniff of the male. His scent was still addicting even though my heat was over, and his handsome features and bare body didn't help my situation. I looked over my shoulder, the male was very well built and his lower parts had my eyes wondering for too long but just as quickly I turn away from him once more.
I didn't need to look at something I couldn't have.
I felt his wolf reach out but I stopped him before my wolf could respond. I didn't need my wolf getting his hopes up.
The swishing of water told me the male had followed me out but still was keeping himself at a distance. I moved toward the wrap Lilah had laid out for me.
"You should wash more, your heat still clings to your skin," I growled at his words as I yanked on the wrap. I didn't need his concern. It was misplaced and unwarranted. My wolf also growled, he didn't want to be ordered around by a wolf that wasn't ours.
I struggled with the wrap having no idea how to put it on. There were too many holes, and it was too long. I growled in frustration and could see Aegis watching me from the corner of my eye. Feeling my face grow hot with embarrassment, I threw the garment down.
Naked was better.
"Would you like—,"
"No!" I snarled at the male and whirled around on him with glaring eyes. I felt something rise within me, agitation? I was agitated with the male.
"Alpha Aegis, please leave." Lilah's voice sounded stern as she made her way back up the stream from where she had walked off to. She held a basket full of what looked to be different plants.
"I smelt his distress." He sounded crestfallen, but I ignored him. I was distressed for 2 weeks and he's only now showing concern?
My wolf growled.
"That's nice, but now you're upsetting him." Her words were monotone but seemed to be effective. I was thankful for the she-wolf. The Alpha gave a loud sigh before I heard the cracking of bones. I turned to him and watched as he shifted. He was fluid, and for a moment, I was mesmerized.
His wolf was beautiful. A dark brown with a white undercoat. His eyes were a deep Amber as he stared at me head-on. I didn't move as his wolf very slowly approached me. The agitation I had for him just seconds ago disappeared. It was hard to stay mad at the fur side.
For some reason; I felt safer and more secure with his wolf.
I could feel his fur side wanting to make a connection. A connection that my wolf would roll over for. I could feel the desire to shift as well but ignored it. My wolf didn't need to be led astray. If this male wanted a connection so badly he had missed his opportunity two weeks ago when I had willingly lifted my tail for the male. We were already rejected, there was no need to relive the moment.
"You could at least pat him on the head, you'll probably make his day." I looked up at Lilah who rolled her eyes in what was probably out of character for her, at Aegis. Turning my eyes back to the Alpha I tried to suppress a smile as his tail thumped on the ground. It was endearing watching him. He was a gentle male, every movement from him indicating he meant no harm. He walked on eggshells almost afraid to scare me off. My wolf appreciated the thoughtful gesture. It put us at ease, but I still felt on guard and his thoughtfulness didn't earn him my trust.
This could all easily be a trap.
A way for them to force me to stay and use me.
A picture of Avalon popped in my head and I tried to shake it away.
I continued to stare at the male, my wolf was so obviously smitten with him. He wagged his tail at Aegis and pushed me forward. Taking in a small sigh I stepped forward but before I could raise my hand a howl sounded.
My head whipped behind me.
I froze, listening to the sound.
I knew this howl.
I knew this wolf.
It wasn't a good howl.
This wasn't a good wolf.
Aegis's entire body froze as his ears perked up and focused on the sound. His body grew rigid.
More howls filled the sky and before I knew it terror struck me.
My heart started to beat at an almost frantic pace.
Air barely making it into my lungs as I looked in the direction the howls stemmed from.
My wolf growled as tremors started wrecking my entire being. The howl was all too familiar.
"You're mine."
All strength left me as I sank to the hard ground. I didn't want to go. I wasn't ready yet.
Did he know I killed it?
I felt my wolf pace in my head.
Would he try again?
A brush of fur and a tentative lick to my cheek barely pulled me away from my thoughts and my eyes moved to those of the Alpha. His wolf patiently and with gentle ease attempted to reach out but I snapped at him.
I was dirty.
I would stain him if he got too close.
I needed to run.
Running would help.
I tried to convince my body to stand but the tremors continued to force me down. My breathing coming in and out much faster than before. I felt him.
His howl still rang clearly in my ears. I covered my ears, I didn't want to hear him anymore.
I felt his breath on the back of my neck. Each puff that hit my nape as he thrust into me.
I shuddered, a claw hand moving from an ear to the back of my neck trying to seat away at the invisible man.
I felt his flesh against mine. I was trapped.
Every time our bodies met felt like knives slicing into my skin. His touch brought bile to my throat and the urge to vomit started to grow.
I could smell him.
His sweaty skin, his unique odor, the smell of his arousal. I could smell him through the wall. I was at the edge, stomach acid making its way up.
I had known he would find me, but I hadn't thought it would be so soon.
He came for revenge. I killed his spawn.
I took away what he helped create.
Punishment was due.
I would be punished, I deserved it. I couldn't run. I heaved whatever contents that were in my stomach onto the wrap in front of me. It wasn't much but the burn was welcomed.
It was the Moon. She told him, she guided him to me.
"No!" I didn't realize I had screamed the word until I felt the Alpha move in front of me, ignoring the mess I had just made. He growled lowly, it was a steady growl, one that I felt go through me, one that washed over me. It was meant to give comfort but all it succeeded in doing was filling my head with lies.
I rocked myself, trying to steady my heart. I needed to get ahold of myself.
Dark wouldn't be here for a while. The sun had just woken up, there was time. I could run, I could hide before her eyes found me once more. There was still time.
My wolf lashed out at me, feeling my frenzied mind, hearing my sporadic thoughts.
It was the head that landed on my shoulders that stopped my thoughts. Aegis had gently laid his head on my shoulder. His scent easing over me, and before I could reason with myself, my arms came up flinging themselves around the male. The Alphas scent blocked out his.
It was a false comfort he was offering me. I knew that, but I realized as my vision started to grow heavy with spots that I needed this comfort, real or not. If I didn't calm myself down I would blackout.
Tears fell freely as I buried my nose into the thick fur. I inhaled the males' scent. I could still hear the howls, still knew he was close but the comfort became bigger than the world around me. I focused on the Alpha in front of me. Focused on the steady growl that comforted my frantic heart, and matched each deep breath that Aegis took trying to steady my own.
"Omega, you'll have the protection of the pack if that's what you wish. Aegis will not force you to remain here if the wolves calling are who you want to be with." Lilah spoke the words the Alpha couldn't.
I was being given an option.
A choice.
I didn't have to go.
More tears fell as I sobbed harder into the fur.
The howls grew in volume. There was more than one as the pack chimed in on the threat. Aegis started to pull away. I knew he had to go but I clung to him, desperately.
"No!" My voice broke on a sob.
Would he leave me too?
Would I be abandoned?
My hands gripped his fur and I could see the conflicting emotions play across his face as he looked to where the howls were coming from and back to me.
"Omeg—," I could barely hear the she-wolf's' voice over my hammering heart. My eyes were locked onto Aegis.
Quickly, the hair that I was gripping started to recede and in seconds the naked male was looking at me with worried eyes.
"I cannot protect you if I stay here." His baritone voice was soft as his words flowed over me like a caress. A hand coming up to grasp my chin while the other pushed my hair out of my face. "Toby, do you want my protection?"
I didn't want to rely on him.
My wolf snarled at me and I felt myself unwillingly nod.
I didn't have a choice.
"Aegis! The pack needs you!" Lilah's voice held a small quake of panic and I watched the distress play out over the Alphas face.
He growled and released my chin before standing up. I tried to grab for him again but I had no strength. Fear paralyzed me.
"Toby!" A snarl from Aegis had me whipping my head to look at him.
"I will protect you and come back to you. Just wait at the den for me. You can make your decision after I deal with this." His words were filled with urgency as he once again shifted and sprinted off. His rage-filled howl lighting up the skies.
I wasn't sure what I was doing, but the moment his back was out of sight I shifted and sprinted to the den.
Obey.
I could be good.
I was a good Omega.
I would prove to him that I was obedient, that I was worth protecting.
My thoughts ran wild. I felt like I was back at the packhouse hiding from the Beta as he tore down the hallway looking for someone to take his anger out on.
I wanted Pierce.
I wanted Aegis.
I didn't want to be alone.
But I wanted to be free.
••••••••••••••••••
AN: Hey everyone! I hope you all had a safe and amazing new year!! I hope everyone was able to go into 2020 with a fresh mind and leave any negativity behind!!
I meant to post this last night but I couldn't decide if I should split the chapter into two.. and then I gave up and posted it.. so my struggle was pointless and this explanation is also pointless...🙃
For those curious, Absolute Loyalty is up(or should be up in like 20minutes). This is in Pierces POV and takes place around the time Clydes pack was raided by Kain. You might get some answers to questions you've all been having. Remember that both AL and AA don't have update schedules. I just write updates as I get bored or need a change of pace.
I still haven't decided on an update schedule for AO, so as of right now I'm just going to do my best and update as much as I can. Inspiration is definitely here so it's just finding the time.
Until next time!