"Fuck," i mumbled standing on the fire escape outside Isabelles bedroom window, stretching myself out slowly as I rolled my neck and felt all the tension in my body release.
I pushed my hair from my face glancing back at her over my shoulder. Watched her for a moment as she struggled to calm herself.
I couldn't help but smirk at the rise and fall of her chest. I couldn't help but enjoy the clarity of the power I had over her, obvious in the hue on her cheeks and the ragged nature of her breathing. She was quivering. She hadn't really wanted me to leave.
But I had to. Even if we hadn't been disturbed by her brother.
I was always going to have to walk away, let her down.
Because she was still so young. She was still naive, hopeful. Everything that was good and sweet in this world.
I was just another very bad man.
One day i would lose control, because we all lose control eventually. If i lost control over my feelings for her, if I let that desire take over me, thered be nothing either of us could do to protect her from the mess I was guaranteed to make.
The rusting metal beneath my feet shook a little in the wind, it was raining now and I was reminded of a night not so long ago when little Izzy would have been slipping and clinging to this same fire escape for her life.
My phone rang in my pocket, the wind blew and rattled the ladder beneath my feet as i trod rung to rung to the ground.
I answered already knowing who it was.
"You got my message then?" i said taking another step down, my hands cold and wet from the rusting railing.
"Aye yeah a did," they answered.
I nodded, chewed my cheek.
"Good," i said, "will you do it then?" i asked knowing that he would argue and then acquiesce because that was the way he always was.
"Well..." he started and I could hear the hesitance, the curiosity in his voice. He needed to know more. But i needed him naive for now.
"Fender listen to me," i said my voice low as I walked a little slower than I should have passed the Balcony windows where I could see Isabelle tucked under her brothers arm, still blushing, still shaken uo by me. I smirked. Stood and watched her for a moment, silent. Almost forgetting Sam at the end of the line.
"I'm listening Van..." he smirked, I would have smirked too if it wasn't for the gravity of what I was about to ask him.
"Sam I need you to do this for me, nobody else can..." i said knowing it sounded dramatic, knowing that that was why he chuckled and whistled down the line.
"No pressure then..." he smirked.
"Sam..." i gritted my teeth, of all the lads Bondy had ever introduced me to, Sam had been the most difficult to be serious with. Even now when I'd aksed something crazy of him, he was still grinning, still joking about it. A situation that could get someone killed.
"I just... Van what you're asking of me is totally mental!" he hissed, not an angry hiss, but a hiss through a smile, almost in awe, almost astounded.
"We need her out the way Sam, this is the only way... Theres a death toll riding on this Fender, I don't call on you often but..."
He cracked a grin.
"It is my area of expertise I suppose,"
"Will you do it or not?" i was running out of patience, still watching Isabelle through the window. She hadn't noticed me or my gaze rested on her through the rain on the glass and I was glad.
Because when she didn't think she was being watched she was her sweetest, most beautiful self. She stopped trying to be so grown up. She sulked and crossed her arms whilst her brother fussed over her and I liked her innocent side when it came out. She was the only one around here who still knew how to be childish, relaxed, careless.
"I was always goin to," chuckled Sam, finally allowing to relax. I licked my lips chewed my cheek, thought about the next move we had to make and simmered for a moment. Sam was still on the line. He was waiting for futher instruction but this was his job now. His move to make.
"What will you do?" i asked but I could picture him smirking and shaking his head.
"You know how I work Mccann, you can't know that..." he said. I watched through the window as Johnny pushed his hand to Izzys forehead, held her cheeks in his palms and worried about her 'temperature'. It was difficult not to chuckle out loud. Difficult not to enjoy the way she squirmed, awkward, trying to keep our secret secret and worrying that she'd already given it away.
"You bastard," i smirked, allowing myself to crack the smallest of fond smiles. I was glad I had Sam to put my trust in. There was no one else I ever would have.
"You say when Van," he said finally, "you say when," and then he was gone and I was stood alone outside listening to a dead line, chewing on my next move, knowing that I had to go back inside. Knowing that I had to be near her and convince her brother that it was as close as I'd ever come to her before.
He was still fussing when I wandered in, hands shoved in my pockets, grin on my lips as I listened to them argue. He wanted her to stay home, she wanted to go to school, an amusing turn of fate for Isabelle, who had never really wanted to go to school before in her life.
I cracked a smirk. I enjoyed how she squirmed and blushed under my touch and my teasing. Enjoyed how wide her eyes went when I pushed my own hand to her forehead and joined her brother. Sent her to bed.
And i enjoyed it most when I caught her gaze over her brothers shoulder, when I winked and she lost her breath and her tongue and could argue back no more.
"Bob!" i called just before I left the room and closed my office door, i nodded for him to join me, knew Johnny would join me too once little Izzy had fled up the stairs back to bed, "bring the whiskey," i said finally before closing my door.
When I turned to sit down my heart almost stopped, there was someone waiting for me. She was sitting in my chair, leaning back like a queen, her legs crossed over the arm of the chair, her smirk curved just for me.
"Mornin Van," said Camille, her voice smooth and low the way it always was. Even now amusing herself she wasn't stirred. Her voice showed no sign of her enjoyment. She was ice or sticky black treacle. She was ever so good at playing the bad guy, perhaps even better than me. "Theres something I think you might like to know,"
"Is there..." i smirked sitting down opposite her. She was the only one I'd ever let get away with the things she did. The only one I'd ever let sit in that chair and smirk at me like she owned me. Like this was her world and not mine. Because really it was.
Camille was so much more to the Bottlemen than we liked to let on.
"Megans been fucking one of them," she started but I didnt want to waste time.
"Ruben," i said.
"Did you know that or are you just guessing?" she raised her brow, wry smile on her lips.
"It was an educated guess," i nodded, "I saw him this mornin," i said.
"So you know he's not paying her?"
I nodded again.
"How do you know that?" i asked but she just shrugged.
"The houses have eyes Van," she said. I nodded, smirked.
"Youve been havin her watched," i said leaning back in my chair, lighting up a cigarette and offering one for her.
"She meets him twice a week, every week," she said leaning forward on th desk, chewing the tip of her little finger and rolling her eyes, "and he never pays for it..."
"Do you..." i started but she was already smirking and she already knew what I wanted to.
"Three months," she said with a soft smile, "you were right Van," she hummed, "you always are," and then she stood up about to leave, about to wander out to Bondy where he was probably still leaning up against the bar with a drink in his hand, waiting for me, but I caught her arm as she swept past.
I stood up, shadowing her as I trapped her between myself and the desk. She smirked again, arma folded across hee chest as she relaxed and leant against the edge of the desk, looking up at me.
"I need you to get between her and Isabelle, i need you to stop that for me..."
"Why Van?" she asked, voice like honey, teasing me, "shes teaching her things... I thought you'd be grateful," she winked, pushing a button I hadn't expected even Camille to be so bold as to push.
"Camille," i gritted my teeth but she just smirked.
"Van.." she mocked me, sullen eyes like Isabelles suddenly glowering up at me as the curve of her smile twitched in the corner of her mouth. Sort of cheeky, sort of standing her ground. "She's a teenage girl and you're not being very subtle..." she said before placing her hand to my chest and pushing me slowly asside before sweeping away.
In the doorway she paused only for a moment, to kiss Bondy who was standing in the doorway with Bob. For a fleeting second I worried about what they might have heard but Camilles lips seemed to have snapped him out of some kind of distant daydream. He'd been lost deep in thought, not vacant but definitely not listening to us.
"Camille," i called out. I couldn't let her have the last word. She stopped in the doorway, leaning up against the frame, sullen as she looked back at me over her shoulder. "I mean it."
And she smirked and nodded her head before she left and I wondered where she would go first and who she would talk to. Megan or Isabelle?
And if she went to either of them what would she say?
Bondy closed the door behind him and Bob as they took their cue to walk in. I didn't sit back down, instead i paced a little before settling on the window at the front of the room. It was a small window, and when i leant up against the glass I blocked all the light from outside and forced it to try and filter in around me.
"What is it Van?" asked Bob, every now and then his eyes flickered to the door a little nervously. He didn't like to leave the bar for too long, even in the mornings.
"I need to ask you both somet, somet important and John you're not gonna like it but I'm gonna need you to be reasonable with me..." i chewed my cheek. I didn't often get nervous but I was nervous to ask this question.
I saw Bondy bristle then, his eyes fixed on me with an intensity that was unforgiving and full of trouble. I wondered what he thought he knew.
"This morning I went to meet Reid..."i started, expecting at least one of them to object or call me stupid or get annoyed that I went alone, in secret, without help, i smirked, nodded slowly, "okay, alright," i hummed and started again, "this morning I went to meet Billy Reid and he sent his nephew and his nephews friend in his place and he sent them with every intension of having me killed and thrown in the cut," i waited until they were both nodding along before i carried on, "so I sent his friend runnin back home and me and Ruben got chatting you know... And he told me somet that i thinks quite concernin," I said.
"what did he say Van?" Bondy met me with a glare, impatient. He knew who this was about but I needed to know what he thought this was about.
"He told me that our Isabelle, is already theirs..."
"Well then hes shitting you," snapped Bondy, "is that seriously what youre..."
I held my hand up, cut him off, carried on.
"He told me that they own her, she belongs to them, because we had a deal..."
"Bullshit Van!" Bondy was all clenched fists and pulsing veins in his neck. He was furious. But that was good to me. He was going to need that kind of fury if he was going to kill them all the way he kept threatening to. And one day i was going to need him to do just that.
"Van," Bob spoke up, "what do you mean deal?"
"Thats what I was hoping one of you could tell me," i said glaring at John and not at Bob. Certain that if one of them knew something it would be Bondy, not Bob. Because Johnny was old enough to remember his parents, his father, who had never been particularly loving, who had never shown that much care for any of his children.
Bob swallowed, nodded his head slowly.
"We have records dont we... Have you checked those?" he asked ever level headed, ever calm. Unlike Bondy who had heard enough.
"You dont need to check the fucking records because shes my little sister and I fuckin know her," he snapped, "This is bullshit Van what the fuck are you playing at! What exactly are you trying to insinuate?" he growled, up in my face, standing tall, shadowing me but i pushed him away and back down, hand to his chest.
"Sit down lad," i shot back, "I told you i need you to be reasonable here!"
"I am being fuckin reasonable! You be reasonable!" he snapped, "what the fuck are you trying to say Van? You think my fuckin family sold their unborn baby off to the enemy?! Is that what you're saying?"
He was burning with it, the rage he felt at such a suggestion, his breathing ragged, he seemed to shake as he spoke. I just stood there, perched at the edge of the desk, arms folded, calm, collected, though i didnt feel it. Starring him down. Holding his gaze so he knew not to cross me again, still he would. We were talking about Isabelle.
"Lets just say I would hardly put it past your father John..." i said waiting for him to snap, waiting for him to leap up out of his chair and grab me by the collar, slit my throat or something. I wouldn't have been shocked.
But he didn't.
He held my gaze, his eyes enflamed and threatening me, refusing to back down. His chest shaking and heavy with every breath. He was bristling. Caught on a precipice between killing me or walking away, but in the end he chose to walk away.
His chair scraped the floor, he shoved past me, winding me with his shoulder to my chest, though I hid it well. Stood tall despite him. Didn't wince. Remained the same. Plain.
And when the door slammed i looked back to Bob to find him chewing his cheek, eyes on his shoes. Waiting for me to break the silence our friend had left.
"Bob mate," i said, "do you know anythin?" I asked and when he nodded I nodded too and sighed. It was my turn to chew my cheek.