Pacifier

\\ Isabelle //

"Don't play this game with me," he said and though I knew I had to hold his gaze, had to challenge him somehow, dare him to come a little closer, to push the boundaries a little more, I couldn't.
He was fierce, determined. I felt a shiver run through me and shied away.

I could feel his eyes lingering on me, feel, his hand still gripping my thigh. His touch warm, firm. He was waiting for me to look back up at him, he was waiting for me to try and challenge him again.

So i bit my lip, tilted my chin slowly. Eyes locking with his.

So i placed my hand on top of his, squeezed ever so slighty and slid his hand a little futher up my thigh, the cotton of my school tights tickling his palm. The palm of his hand sending a heat washing over me as his fingers slid under the hem of my skirt.

He was tense but he was stunned. Only for a moment but a moment was long enough.

When he stood his stool scraped the floor and startled the rest of the bar, heads shooting up. All eyes on us.

On Van and his clenched fist. Van and his jaw set and straight and sharp.

Van and his eyes glaring into mine with a new ferocity, a new fire. Something i had ignited in him.

"Isabellecome with me." He said it and i knew it was a demand. He said it and I knew refusal was a deathwish.

So i stood slowly, hesitantly. Too slowly.

He grabbed my hand, his fingers gripping mine too tightly as he pulled me away, forced me to keep up with him and his storming from the Balcony to the backdoor and up the stairs to his bedroom, out of sight. Out of earshot when he pushed me down into his armchair and stepped back. Watching me. His hands in his pockets where he stood before me, gaze unwavering as he studied me, startled and shivering in his chair.

"What was that?" he asked looking down at me expectantly. His eyes dark and clouded with a haze I didn't recognise.

"I don't know what..." i started, arms folded, legs slightly spread, looking up at him sullen, eyes sparkling with a nervous mischief but he cut me off.

"Yes you do..."

I shook my head, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling in the hopes that if I did he wouldn't see the self concious flush in my cheeks.
In the hopes that if I managed to avoid his gaze and stay silent he would stop questioning me.

Instead he startled me. Got down on his knees. Settled at the side of the chair with his head tilted, resting against my knee.

I felt the twist in my tummy, a good twist in my tummy, almost butterflies, almost something else when I realised exactly what he could see.

"perhaps you need me to jog your memory darlin..." he said, his voice low, his breath tickling my skin when he spoke. His eye still fixed on the shadow cast by my skirt and my open legs.

My breath hitched in my throat, i swallowed down, so suddenly out of my depth. A cocktail of fear and adrenaline, only almost scared.

"Do you want to?" i asked blinking back at him, hoping that my eyes were the sort of dark and dewy that Megan had tried to teach me.

I didn't realise that that was a dangerous question. That i was balancing on a very delicate wire.

He placed his hand on my thigh, his eyes following it as he dragged his palm over my skin, as he pushed his palm up my thigh, only stopping when his fingertips slid under the hem of my skirt.

I struggled to hold his gaze when his eyes met mine.

"Did Megan teach you that?" he asked almost sullen himself.