LEN
Adyen ignored me for the next few days after I dodged his question. At first, I thought things might be okay and that he would blow off some steam before we meet on Campus on Monday.
Monday came, and our morning classes had been quiet. He didn't bother me with questions like he usually did, but I attributed that to the fact that midterms were coming up.
I had gone to see him at practice in the evening, but he only showed me where to sit and nothing else. I had learned that he was fast. He took first place in whatever sprint his coach put him in, and I was starting to wonder why he was pursuing an architecture degree instead of a kinesiology or sports science one.
Heck, he could drop all the school things and attempt going pro.
When I watched him, I could see the similarities with his run and the running of werewolves in human form. That was probably where his talent came from.
I had tried to talk to him when his practice was over, but he pretended like he couldn't hear me and walked past me with his backpack hanging from the straps on his shoulder. That's how the week of ignoring me began. I wasn't sure what to do besides stare at him from the distance when he didn't pick my calls or answer my texts. My attention moved to other things, like my studies and due assignments.
I had made a quick call to the packhouse, begging Georgiou to tell everyone to shut up. If Adyen was looking for answers by himself, I didn't want someone else to explain things to him before the time came. Although there were other wolves in school, and downtown I doubted that he would have the courage to walk up to complete strangers for help considering his vulnerability.
Adyen didn't communicate with me until Saturday. He sent me a text, telling me that he was coming over for the pack meeting with me on Sunday. I had agreed, and he didn't talk to me again until we met at ten on Sunday morning at the bus stop.
We stood in silence, staring out into the empty road on campus. Most people were still asleep, catching up on their dreams before Monday rolled around and mid-term tests started. The trees were still bare of leaves, but the snow had melted, leaving behind icy cold puddles and soggy sand.
"Hey," I spoke up when the silence was getting uncomfortable for me. Adyen didn't say anything in reply. He didn't even look at me. I sighed, looking away and turning my attention to my shoes. I bit my lower lip, trying to see if there was a better way to engage him. "I'm sorry," I started, looking up. Adyen hadn't turned, but he was now hugging himself and has a confused look on his face.
"I know that I'm me hiding things from you makes it hard to trust me, but I'm doing it for your own good." Our own good really. I didn't want Adyen to freak out about the mating thing, and I didn't want him to distance himself from me when he was the most vulnerable concerning his identity. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I want you to trust me to tell you things when you're ready for that information."
My hands found their way into my pocket. "I won't lie to you again, but I get a bit panicky when I feel that you're not ready to know certain things if that makes sense."
"I asked Leigh, and she told me that you didn't want me to know yet," Adyen said, making me shoulders square as I froze still. He ignored everything I said, starting a completely different conversation.
He turned, his feet crunching on the sand as his eyes locked with mine. "I didn't have anyone to talk to, and I've been so angry at you yet...." he trailed, biting his lower as he tried to find the words to say. He wasn't going to let this go. I could see the determination in his eyes. "I haven't spoken to other wolves in school because I don't know if they're safe, or if they want me to talk to them but I did a bit of research in-between my studying."
I kept silent, still not saying anything. I needed to hear what he knew before I started sprouting out my apologies.
"Yeah, we've all watched dumb werewolf movies but is mating the same in them?" Adyen asked. "Like, are we mates? Soulmates or something like that?"
My eyes fluttered to the ground as my heart began to beat faster. What was I supposed to tell him? I had just said I wouldn't lie to him again. It was similar, very similar, but there were some key differences.
"Is that it?" Adyen asked when I didn't say anything in response. My lips parted, but I couldn't find the words in me to admit that he was right. "It is, isn't it?" he asked, tucking his hands into the pocket of his brown inter jacket. His curly hair stood up when the wind blew in our direction.
"Adyen, I—"
"What's so special about that, that you couldn't tell me?" I asked, making me stare at him. He had a frown on his face, and his lips were drawn tightly into a thin line. "You don't like me enough, is that it?" he asked, and I shook my head, trying to get him not to jump into conclusions.
"But it doesn't make sense. If you liked me, wouldn't you want to tell me about all this mating jazz to convince me to go out with you?" he asked, and I stayed quiet. "I mean, the only reason I can think of concerning why you wouldn't want to tell me is that you don't want us to be mates," he said. The sound of his voice breaking pushed me. I walked over to him until we were a hair apart. I stared into his eyes, navigating the hurt and anger playing behind them. I understood where he was coming from, and I had never thought about things like that.
"Is this why you were weirded out when he touched each other at that time? Is that why you're fidgety when we kiss?" he asked, and I knew what he was referring to immediately—he was talking about us making out a lot.
My face grew hot. I could feel the end of my ears heat up as my mind got washed with memories of us kissing.
"No," I said firmly, letting out a sigh. "I like you," I said, reaching out to hold on to his face. Adyen tore his eyes away from me. He didn't believe me. I didn't blame him. I had hidden things from him a lot. "I didn't want to tell you since I wasn't sure how you'd react. Getting rejected could kill a wolf, and I was scared..."
"You were planning to reject me?" he asked, cutting me off, and my eyes went wide as I shook my head.
"No, of course not," I said, sighing before closing my eyes and pressing my forehead against his. "I was afraid you would reject me."
There was silence after that. Adyen didn't say anything, but I listened to his breathing, allowing my wolf to find pleasure in the rhythm of his heartbeat. He seemed to be at a loss for words, and I couldn't blame him.
I opened my eyes, staring into his equally dark ones. "Another thing is, it's a bond it's not like we have to be mates..." I trailed. "I also felt it would be weird to just tell you that this is who a bunch of spirits suggested you should be with for the rest of your life."
Adyen chuckled, but he didn't say anything in response. We stood there in silence, listening to the sound of the occasional pedestrian walking by. We must have looked odd—two boys decked in winter gear staying close as if they were freezing and needed each other's body heat.
"So, what now?" His voice was quiet like he had meant to say that in his head instead of out loud. He leaned away from me, looking over at the bench at the bus stop.
"We—" I stared but paused, nibbling on my thumbnail as I tried to gather my thoughts. "We don't have to address it now if you want. It must be overwhelming to have so much dumped on you in so little time," I said, watching as Adyen walked over to the wooden bench before taking a seat.
"Did our bus get delayed?" he asked, changing the topic. I was a bit hurt by that, but I understood that it was a lot to process, so I didn't pry any further. I checked the bud schedule, nodding in reply to his question.
I stood at the side of the road for a while before building up the courage to walk over to Adyen. He raised his eyes to look at me, and I took a moment to look at his eyes through his long lashes before taking a seat beside him on the bench. We sat in silence for a while, staring out into the road together.
"Len."
"Hmm?"
"We haven't known each other for very long," Adyen said and I nodded, turning to look at him.
"Yeah."
"So, the bond is why I like you so much?" he asked, and I raised a brow, shrugging my shoulders.
"I don't know, I think so..." I trailed. Adyen didn't have a wolf so his feelings weren't supposed to be as intense, but what do I know? I guess they still felt a tug of some sort.
Adyen hummed, making a little pile of middle snow with the edge of his boot. "When I've figured most of this shit out, let's think about our relationship properly, okay?"
I nodded my head, reaching out to hold his free hand.
"Okay," I said, feeling my wolf dance at the proposal.
Things were a lot bigger than me and Ayden's bond now, so it was wise to wait and take things slow.