Context: Crossover between the post-canon ineffable husbands & my Buzzfeed Unsolved fanfiction "Among Us". Feel free to check it out if you want more information on Xelven's relation to Shane and Ryan or more of the ghoul boys, since this piece is mostly about the supernatural entities.
The art above inspired this and was made by linipik on Tumblr.
Note: Italics alone are used for inner monologues, bold is for emphasis. Bold and italics are used for Xelven's dialogue because of his origin. I headcanon that not having a body/physical vocal cords makes your voice less "real' sounding. Emphasis for him will he underlined.
Word Count: 6,500
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Aziraphale's POV:
The sun had just set over Soho, leading into a fairly brisk night. Inside a familiar bookshop, an angel and a demon were having one of their usual chats. Though, it must be said, with a lot less alcohol than before. Ever since they started spending all their time together, they'd leave the wine for more special occasions. And there was a distinct possibility that there would be another one of those fairly soon.
"Enlighten me, my dear, why the suden interest in taking me to the opera?" Asked the principality as he straightened a small pile of books atop his desk.
Crowley, who was still sat in a nearby chair, gave him a shrug. "Just trying to keep things interesting."
It's been 6,000 years and I'm still interested, well done.
"Darling, you needn't try so hard to keep my attention. You do that with very little effort, after all." Said the angel, giving the demon a soft pat on the head as he walked passed him. To his surprise, Crowley didn't smack away his hand or say something along the lines of 'I'm not a bloody dog, stop petting me'.
The redhead stood and followed the blond. "Of course, angel, I'm irresistible." He said, nonchalantly.
That you are...
"I just, y'know, figured you must be getting tired dinner dates being our only dates."
Aziraphale smiled at his favorite demon and leaned over the counter. "Are you sure you'll be entertained? It won't be very fun if you fall asleep midway through."
"I'll be fine. I can entertain myself just by staring at you, haven't you noticed?" Crowley joined him there, elbows resting on the wooden surface, head tilted to the side with his smirk.
Who hasn't?
Aziraphale let out a chuckle. "I'd be quite blind not to, dear. Your body-language has always been a tell." He said as his eyes quickly scanned the lanky being's figure. You absolutely gorgeous creature...
Crowley pretended to be offended by that line as he scoffed. "Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. 'I-Smile-Every-Time-My-Supposed-Hereditary-Enemy-Gets-Mentioned'. It really is a good thing that our superiors were too dense to catch on to the blatant pining going on between us."
"Indeed. Imagine if we were still like that." He shuddered with a roll of the eyes.
"Nah, don't want to. 'Cause now I can actually do this and not get in trouble for it." He said as he leaned over the counter some more and met the angel's lips.
Aziraphale sighed into the kiss but wasn't able to fully indulge before he heard the front door. They parted with a groan and faced the entrance.
Should've locked that bloody door...
Two men had walked in. One of them was white, tall, lanky, with medium length brown hair, green plaid shirt with grey pants and shoes. The other was short by comparison but most likely average height. Brown skin, short dark hair, he seemed to have more muscles than the taller one. He wore a white t-shirt with a cartoon bag of popcorn on it, with black pants and sneakers. Since they had been too preoccupied with looking at the structure of the place, neither had noticed the two supernatural entities having their intimate moment ruined.
A chill suddenly crawled up Aziraphale's spine, and he made eye-contact with Crowley. He had felt it too. A quick miracle from him shut the front door, covered the windows, and a snap from Crowley froze the two men in place.
The redhead grabbed Aziraphale's arm just as he was about to walk over to the two petrified men. "Angel, go to the back. Come back out when I tell you to."
Here he goes...
"And why would I do that?" Asked the blond, eyebrows raised.
He could tell Crowley was glaring at him from behind his dark shades. "Because one of them is a demon and I'm not letting you get hurt!"
Captain obvious strikes again.
"You forget I was a soldier before we met in the garden. I can handle myself, you know." Said the principality as he freed himself from his lover's grip.
"Don't care, I'm not risking it." He stepped in between him and the two humans.
Aziraphale sighed and placed a hand on the demon's left shoulder. "I'm defending my home, Crowley, same as you."
"Exactly, you ineffable pain in my arse, you are my home! So, I kindly ask that you go hide while I make sure these two aren't a threat!" Argued the scrawny being.
Oh darling, you truly are adorable.
The blond smiled, the hand on the shoulder went up to cup his husband's face. "Aren't you sweet?" That earned him an eye-roll.
"Don't start-"
The angel walked away and started observing the frozen figures in the middle of his shop's entryway. "You were aware that line wasn't going to do anything, yes?"
Crowley shrugged with a nod. "Figured, but I gave it a shot. Usually the sappy things work on ya." He said before joining him. Aziraphale giggled lightly at his response.
Usually but not today, love.
The demon stared at the two men, focusing on the taller one. Crowley's nose wrinkled after he sniffed near his neck. "Whatever or whoever it is, it's demonic, no doubt about that. But it's a possession, they don't have a body of their own."
"That explains why we didn't feel them sooner... What do you want to do?"
"Well, it's been a while, but I'm fairly sure I can reach into this poor bastard and rip out whoever's possessing him. Go get a bible, or a cross. Bless some water if you want."
"Are you quite sure about that?"
"Oi, the agreement was that they'd leave us alone, and this isn't leaving us alone!"
The angel glared at Crowley. "My dear, we agreed: no more killing unless it's absolutely necessary."
Crowley glared back and they stared at each other for quite a while. As always, he was the one who relented. He never could best Aziraphale when those shiny, blue eyes were involved.
"Fine! Fine..." Grumbled the demon as he walked away from his husband.
Once he reached the door again, he began digging his heel into the hardwood floors. This started leaving scuff-marks which started to singe.
Aziraphale noticed the distinct smell of hellfire and quickly ran towards Crowley.
Oh, for Heaven's sake!-
"What the Hell are you doing to my floor, you fiend?!" He asked, staring at the redhead as he continued to ruin the wooden surface.
Crowley waved him off as he dropped to his knees to add more details to whatever it was he was doing. "Calm down, I'll clean it up later. Since you want to talk first, and possibly destroy later, we need to ensure they can't do anything during the talking bit."
The blond looked at the marks and realized Crowley had been drawing a summoning circle of sorts. Though, the symbols weren't the typical ones used to summon anything.
Clever old serpent!
"A holding cell, excellent thinking, Crowley! Have I ever told you how brilliant you are?"
"Not recently, you're welcome to do it more often, though." He said as he looked up, that devilish grin of his plastered on his face.
Once he finished, Crowley stood and walked over to the two humans. He took a deep breath, placed a hand on the tall man's chest and it turned transparent. It then went through the man's chest, and when he pulled it back out, there was a shadowy black mass wriggling in his grasp. The redhead practically leapt to the symbol he had carved. When he threw the dark entity into the circle, it lit up in a bright red glow and the light reached the ceiling of the shop, trapping the bodiless demon inside. It looked like a black blob trying to morph into a shape of some kind.
Aziraphale made sure both humans were still frozen in place before approaching the column-like cell. He placed a gentle hand on Crowley, who had exerted a fairly big amount of energy to do this, and steadied him.
"Are you alright, dear?" Asked the concerned angel.
Crowley gave him a quick nod. "Yeah, just gotta shake it off. I'll be fine in a bit. Go on, start your little interrogation."
"Oh no..." Said the black blob in a very distorted voice from within the circle. Both Aziraphale and Crowley looked towards the voice and saw it had finally taken a shape.
Though see-through, it was easy to see features like a malnourished "torso" with long limbs, razor sharp claws, their skull was similar to that of a horse's but with jagged, needle-teeth and thin, black horns protruding from the top. Large, pitch-black, void-like eyes stared back at the angel and demon. This was their true essence, their true self. The one their demonic soul took when they had no body.
The demon was looking at the couple with a frightened look in their eyes as they floated in this cell. "You're Crowley, aren't you? The Serpent Of Eden?" They asked after sensing the blond next to him was an angel.
Crowley raised a brow and turned his head to show off his snake-mark. "What do you think?"
"Shit!... Of all the places to be thanks to these two, of course I end up in the shop of the only holy-water-proof demon in existence!" They sounded and looked terrified. The fear seemed to aggravate the voice more, making it waver.
Alright, they're like the rest of Hell and Heaven: oblivious to the truth. That's good.
"Who are you? Why were you possessing this young man?" Aziraphale stepped forward, which made the demon step back as much as possible. When they touched the force-field, it lit up brighter and they grunted in response.
They glared at the blond. "...My name's Xelven. I've been possessing him since he was a boy." The voice sounded more like a male's and much less distorted this time.
Perhaps he's calmed down a bit?
"Why?" The principality got even closer, enjoying this a bit too much. Very reminiscent to the holy water bath.
"I needed a body for energy." Admitted the floating entity.
Crowley crossed his arms as he eyed him up and down. "Since you don't have a body of your own, I'll assume Hell has no idea you're up here. The Possession Department doesn't have a lot of members that look like you..." The redhead distinctly remembered most of the workers in that area being shapeshifting imps, and this demon was no imp.
The lesser demon nodded.
"Why'd you leave?" Asked the snake.
Xelven scoffed at him. "You won't believe me..."
"Newsflash kid, I believe everything you're saying. Not because I like to give others the benefit of the doubt, that's more his thing." He said, pointing Aziraphale. "It's because some of those symbols down there force you to tell the truth. You can't lie, even if you wanted to." Informed Crowley.
Aziraphale beamed at him, not that the redhead noticed. I could kiss you right now if we weren't dealing with a possibly dangerous situation.
"You're serious?" Asked Xelven, doubting the black-clad demon.
"Try it out." He dared him.
Judging by the different type of glowing coming from the circle beneath him, and the pained grunt which emanated from the trapped being, the 'truth symbols' were working properly.
"Point taken."
"Uh-huh. Why did you leave?" Crowley hissed out the question this time, clearly losing his patience.
Xelven sighed, crossing his own arms now. "Short or long version?" His own sass coming out to play as well.
Evidently, Crowley was tired of not being the only demon in the shop and thought a threat should do the trick. "Do you want me to get the holy water? Because the sooner I get rid of you, the better!"
Really darling, was that necessary?
While Aziraphale hadn't thought much of the threat (he knew better), Xelven clearly did. He fell to his knees and he probably would've been bowing down if his cell had enough space for it. "No! No, no, no, please don't kill me! I'm like you two, I like humans!"
Crowley and Aziraphale were a bit stunned by this revelation. No other being, occult or ethereal, had ever admitted to liking humans. Not to their knowledge, anyway. The angel looked at his other half.
"Well love, we know he's not lying." Said Aziraphale.
The redheaded demon wrinkled his nose, unsure. "Could still be trouble..."
"No, no trouble! I've never wanted to hurt anyone, I swear! Check him, the tall one! I just inhabit him, I'm not harming him in any way!"
Even though they knew the demon spoke the truth, Aziraphale decided to have a look for himself. He walked over to the taller human, his hand hovering over his chest. The angel's fingertips seemed to glow for a moment before turning back to the demons.
"Why him? Did anything specific draw you to him?"
Xelven shrugged. "At the time? Convenience. Didn't think I'd have this much fun from hanging around this smartass." He admitted fondly.
"Fun? How so?" Asked the blond.
The demon pointed at the two men. "He and the short one have an online show where they go ghost hunting. The little one, Ryan, he believes in ghosts. Shane doesn't. That's the fun part."
"Oh, for fuck's sake." They heard Crowley groan from where the two men stood. When they turned toward him, they noticed he was on his phone. "I knew I recognized these buggers from somewhere! They're the Unsolved bastards!" He had googled their names together and the results quickly came back with the information about the show.
Xelven nodded. "Yup, that's them."
"Who?"
"Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara from Buzzfeed Unsolved. Remember last time we visited Adam? When he was playing around in the backyard with his friends, one of them said 'Hey there demons, it's me, ya boy' and we nearly had a heart attack because we thought Hell came back for revenge? This is who they got it from!" Exclaimed the serpent as he scrolled through several screenshots of the series.
Hmm... Perhaps Adam would like for us to send him a picture of them? I mean, if he is a fan. Well, actually, first thing's first...
"They wouldn't happen to be in my bookshop because they believed something supernatural was going on, would they?" The angel observed the demon carefully for a response.
The bodiless demon chuckled. "Well, while something supernatural is going on here, it's not what you think. We're in London to film a special for the channel, but the filming was postponed due to bad weather on-location. They figured they'd go to interesting or unusual places while they wait for filming to resume. Not to film episodes for the show, but to entertain themselves. Your bookshop was one of the unusual places on the list, obviously."
Aziraphale glared at Xelven, eyebrow raised in an offended manner. "Obviously?"
"A centuries-old bookshop with an owner who seemingly doesn't age and refuses to actually sell books? Sounds pretty unusual to me." Xelven was grinning widely now, it was fairly unsettling even if he didn't mean for it to be.
"He's got a point, angel. You should've turned this place into a literature museum if you didn't want people touching or buying your things." Added Crowley nonchalantly, not daring to look up from his phone's screen.
Xelven raised his hands up in innocence. "Had I known you were 'A. Z. Fell', I would've persuaded Shane against coming here."
"What else can you do to him?" Asked the redhead.
He shrugged. "Control his body, his mind. I can temporarily change his appearance, his mood. Though, most of the time, I'm just occupying a small space in his mind. He doesn't even know I'm there, and he never will."
The principality asked a question this time, curiosity overcoming him again. "What made you like humans?"
"There's just something about them when they aren't being tortured down in Hell. They're happy, creative, interesting beyond belief... I just didn't belong down there..."
"Did you Fall?" Asked Crowley, looking up from his phone and making eye contact for this topic. He had even stepped closer.
Xelven shook his head. "Torments Department. Low-level grunt, created a few centuries ago. Got tired of torturing souls and snuck out first chance I got."
"You know about us being inmune to holy water and hellfire. How did you hear about our trials?" Crowley was practically looming over the brightly lit prison at this point.
"Plenty of chatter in purgatory."
"That's 'purgatory' as in our waiting area Downstairs, or the ones who're sent back to roam Earth as their punishment?" Why they had two areas identified with the same name, Crowley didn't know, and always wondered what the logic was behind it.
"The latter. Run into a lot of lost souls thanks to these guys. Those souls heard it from demons who saw it happen. How you splashed the window with holy water and got an archangel to give you a towel. Scariest thing they'd ever seen, apparently. Hence why I don't want to get on your bad side."
Well, I suppose that is a bit comforting to hear...
The angel grabbed Crowley and dragged him to the back room to devise a plan of sorts. A few moments later, the two settled on doing a speed-round of questions for the rogue demon. Once that was done, and they felt safe enough, they freed Xelven from his prison and he entered Shane's body again. Slowly, the man's body began to change. Soft, milky-white skin turned rough and grey. Black claws grew quickly and horns popped out from his head. His canines got sharper than normal, like fangs, and his eyes were like obsidian now.
"Man, I needed this! Didn't think that damn cell of yours could actually drain my energy. A bit much wouldn't you say?" The voice sounded distorted, like it was mixing with his own and the human's.
Crowley scoffed loudly at that. "Nah mate, last thing we needed was you reading our minds when we had no clue whose side you were on."
This caught Aziraphale off-guard. "Read minds?"
Xelven grinned smugly. "Torments Department, remember? I was literally created to hear your innermost thoughts and fears to use them against you."
Is that so?
Oh yeah, real blessing and a curse. Don't need it for the job anymore, but it can come in handy every once in a while...
Judging by Aziraphale's visible discomfort, Crowley knew the lesser demon was in the angel's head. "Alright, enough of that." He started, gesturing to Xelven. "I'm going to snap these two out of their trance, this visit will continue as normal as possible, then you leave and never come back, understand?"
"Yes, sir." Said Xelven with an exaggerated salute.
The resident angel and demon had agreed to let Shane and Ryan explore the shop for a bit before kicking them out. Crowley also had a plan to ensure they'd never come back.
So now Aziraphale was aware that this, apparently, was going to be a very long night.
~~~~~
Xelven changed Shane's appearance again and positioned him right next to Ryan to better simulate that no time had passed. Obviously it had, but they didn't need to know that. In fact, by the time Crowley would 'unpause' the two of them, neither of them would notice the difference in time from when they had reached the outside of the bookshop and when they'd start their little tour. A helpful demonic miracle, for sure.
Aziraphale made sure everything looked as it did before, no covered windows or locked doors. Crowley knelt down to the sigil he had drawn on the floorboards, he made a few gestures and blew it away. Much like the paintball stain on the angel's coat that day in St. Beryl's courtyard, any and all traces of the unwanted marks disappeared into the atmosphere.
He got up and straightened himself before facing the two paranormal investigators to snap his fingers. Just like that, they resumed looking up at the architectural details at the bookshop's entrance.
The taller man let out an impressed whistle. "This is pretty neat, not gonna lie."
The shorter man, Ryan, nodded. "Yeah, really is. And even though you can see how old it is, it's well taken care of."
"We should hope so, how old did you say this place was?" Asked Shane, not at all sounding like the demon who inhabits his mind.
"The shop was opened by A. Z. Fell in 1800. My great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather. Give or take a few 'greats', at this, age I forget how many there are off the top of my head." Started the angel, getting their attention.
"How old the building was at the time is unclear. Some paperwork says construction began in 1777, others say 1787. Whatever the case may be, the shop is currently in tip-top condition." Explained the blond from behind his counter.
The sudden voice had startled the two humans but upon seeing Aziraphale's friendly smile and demeanor, they visibly relaxed. And of course, Crowley was nowhere to be found.
"A. Z. Fell VIII, at your service. Not the most creative with names, my family, I know. But the sign didn't have to be changed, so I suppose that's a positive. Now, how may I help you gentlemen?"
The brown skinned man returned the smile before introducing himself. "Pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm Ryan Bergara, he's Shane Madej, we work for Buzzfeed.com. Our viewers and readers suggested we visit your shop and do an article on it, maybe film some of it. Would that be something you'd be comfortable with?"
"Oh, of course, no trouble at all. Just be careful while roaming around. I'm not the most organized man in the world, so tripping over a few scattered tomes is always a very likely possibility." Explained the angel in his best host voice.
Obviously, Ryan and Shane were surprised by his cooperation, recalling the posts that brought them here in the first place. But Bergara recovered quickly, shaking off the shock of the blond man's reply and continuing to do his job. "We'll keep that in mind, thank you Mr. Fell. Also, would you be alright with us asking you some questions for the article and recording it?"
Then, the angel went from confident to nervous. All for show, of course, part of the plan. "Oh, well, um. You see, I have no problem with answering whatever inquiries you may have about my shop, but I would very much like to remain off camera."
As if on cue, (because it actually was) Crowley sauntered into the bookshop, hips rocking like mad. His left hand had a small white box, no doubt from a bakery, while his right one held a small bouquet of red tulips. He had even changed his hair! It looked just like his early 2000's hairstyle. And of course, he couldn't just stay quiet, he had to make a spectacle out of it.
"Angel, I'm back!" He announced loudly, pretending he hadn't seen the two men standing there.
You're having much more fun with this than I expected, dear. Surprised you didn't walk in here with a mesh crop-top to make it more obvious. Though, I suppose that's a good thing, no need to be a full-blown stereotype.
Aziraphale let out an embarrassed chuckle of sorts, to keep the charade going. "Yes darling, I-I'm aware. W-What's all this? I thought you were just getting some fresh air."
"I was, but I felt the sudden urge to spoil you with a little something." Said the redhead, his voice had gone up a bit in pitch.
Quick as anything, Crowley dropped the box and flowers onto the counter and proceeded to wrap his arms around Aziraphale in a possessive manner. It was then, his chin propped up the angel's right shoulder, that he acknowledged the other two's existence.
"And you are...?"
Before Ryan or Shane could answer, Aziraphale turned to face Crowley. "They're, um, here to film the bookshop for an article, darling."
Crowley proceeded to pull his best 'shocked Blitz Aziraphale' face, then turned toward the humans. "You're going to get this one on camera?! How'd you manage that?! Do you know how hard it is for me to get a damn selfie with this stubborn old thing?!"
Aziraphale made his face look as red as a tomato and he hid it away momentarily behind his palms.
Now the two men were trying their hardest to not show or say 'oh, ok, we get it now'. Shane, professional as ever and trying to save Aziraphale some embarrassment, pipped up. "Actually, Mr. Fell was just telling us how he didn't want to be filmed. Which is not a problem at all! Your shop, your rules. Plus, you're doing us a favor, we don't want to be rude or disrespectful."
The blond looked up from his hands, gave them another smile, a light nod and then returned to his desk, with Crowley still attached to his back. "Feel free to explore the shop, I'll be here cataloging a bit of data. Trying to, anyway. Do let me know if you need anything." He said over the shoulder which wasn't occupied by a demon.
"Will do." Replied Ryan as he and Shane disappeared into the bookshop.
Aziraphale looked at Crowley, grinning. "And the Oscar goes to Anthony J. Crowley-Fell." He teased, earning a hearty laugh from the redhead.
"I'd like to thank my husband and everybody who lost."
"The academy will also be introducing a new category for 'Most Egotistical Performer', you're a shoe-in for that award."
"No, you think?" He replied smugly. "I think it worked out well. Did you see their faces?" Asked the snake, quite proud of himself.
Aziraphale gave him a nod. "Indeed. Shall we move onto the next phase?"
"By all means, angel."
"Great, off you go then!" He whispered, with a little wiggle for good measure. With that, Crowley made himself scarce.
~~~~~
They were getting as many shots as possible, filming every nook and cranny the shop had to offer.
"Well, at least we know why he doesn't want to be on camera now." Said Shane.
"So much for an immortal being running an antique bookshop in London. It's just a sweet old man who's not used to being accepted by society yet. You saw how worried he was when his other half strolled in. Seems like he's still-"
Suddenly Crowley's voice rang from behind them, causing them to jump and turn around to face him. "Halfway in the closet? Yeah."
The demon leaned against the nearby bookshelf, arms crossed, right foot hooked on the bottom shelf. "A bunch of bad experiences and fear will do that to ya. If that back there had happened a few years ago, he would've pushed me off and insisted we didn't know each other..."
He pushed himself off the bookshelf, back straight as he addressed the two of them. "Which is why I'm asking you to cut out whatever footage you got of him. I know those cameras strapped to your chests have been on from the moment you showed up." It sounded more like a demand than a request.
Because it was demand, but it wasn't for Shane or Ryan, it was for Xelven. The lesser demon understood the message perfectly: ruin their video. That would be no trouble at all, he had plenty of experience in that department.
Shane raised his hands in innocence, trying to keep Crowley calm. "Mr...?"
"Fell." He said flatly, lifting his left hand to put emphasis on the silver wedding band.
Shane nodded. "Mr. Fell, I promise you that we'd never do anything intentionally hurtful to anyone. Your husband asked to not be shown and he won't be."
"We could just use the phone's voice recorder for the interview if you think he would be more comfortable that way." Suggested Ryan.
"It would, thank you. Also, he doesn't need to know about this conversation. Understood?"
Both men nodded silently.
"Good, glad we're clear. Enjoy the rest of your visit, boys..." Said Crowley before disappearing up the staircase which lead to the upstairs flat.
Shane and Ryan looked eyes and exhaled almost at the exact same time. "Well, that was a thing."
"I certainly didn't expect to be threatened today. We can't say this hasn't been interesting."
"Yeah, you make a good point."
They continued filming the shop until Aziraphale called them over for tea and biscuits. They took this time to conduct the interview, via recorder just as promised, and relax a little after the scare from Crowley. Little did they know, he had another planned for later.
~~~~~
"How old do you think some of these are? I mean, look at all that dust on the top ones." Asked Ryan as he shone a flashlight to the very last shelf. They were absolutely caked in dust, and touching or moving them could easily lead to an uncontrollable sneezing fit.
Shane shrugged, trying to think of an educated guess. "Good question. I'd say the ones on top are probably the oldest, so maybe 100 years old?"
"Why would the oldest ones be up there? Wouldn't they be down here?" Questioned the shorter man.
Madej rolled his eyes, giving him an answer of some kind. "Maybe he wants the more delicate ones out of reach, so they don't get damaged by anyone passing by."
"Eh, I don't know if that makes a lot of sense- woah." Ryan froze in place, staring at their surroundings.
"What?" Shane asked, not seeing an issue.
Ryan finally moved from the spot. "I felt a chill, you didn't feel it?"
"Not really. Thought I heard something, though."
"Yeah, like what?" Asked the darker lad, visibly concerned.
Another shrug from Shane. "I had assumed it was you breathing but I guess it was wrong."
"Dude, I almost stopped breathing when I felt that. What did you hear?"
"Huh. Thought you were trying to get your breathing under control. It kinda sounded like an exhale, or air escaping from something, or-"
"Like a snake hiss?" Asked Ryan with the flashlight pointed to the top of the other nearby bookshelf. His grip was so tight that the light was shaking.
Shane gave him a nod after thinking it over for a few seconds. "Yeah, you could say that."
"Shane?" Bergara's voice wavered.
"What?"
"You might want to move!"
The taller man followed the trail of light all the way up to the top of the wooden structure, unsure why Ryan was so concerned. "Wha- holy shit!" He reacted quickly, moving away from that bookshelf and staring at the creature.
Crowley had turned serpent, come back downstairs at some point, hidden among some of the books and waited for the two investigators to find him. His large, black body took up a fair amount of space atop the shelf in an imposing manner. Those big, yellow eyes stared at the two humans as if they were dinner. Not wanting to take that chance, the two of them ran towards the front of the shop.
They found the angel at his desk. "Mr. Fell! There's a huge snake back there!" Said Ryan frantically.
"Oh, good lord!" Exclaimed Aziraphale, seemingly upset with himself and not scared at all. "That's Aleister. I sometimes let him roam about the shop as a bit of exercise. I completely forgot I let him loose today, I am so sorry!"
The principality made his way over to the back room where he found Crowley lounging about, a mess of coils on the couch. He picked him up and Crowley wrapped himself around the angel, visibly squeezing him. As he walked back to Shane and Ryan, the looks on their faces were priceless.
"It's your pet?!" Asked Shane, both surprised and impressed.
"Oh yes, he's quite tame, I assure you. I could go put him upstairs so you feel more comfortable, if you like." He said, petting the snake's head like anyone would a cat's.
Ryan, who seemed like he needed a break from all this, spoke up first. "Actually, I think we have enough footage already. Plus, it's getting kinda late, we should get out of your hair." He said, shooting an elbow into Shane's gut.
The taller man understood that his co-host did not want to chance anything else, and so, he followed suit. "Yeah, this is plenty for the article. We can call it a night."
"Only if you're sure-"
The two of them were at the door already. "We are. Thank you for letting us do this Mr. Fell. It was a pleasure." Said Ryan with a smile, not daring to step closer to Aziraphale to shake his hand out of fear that 'Aleister' would do something to him.
Shane wasn't as freaked out and managed to shake the angel's hand. "We really appreciate you letting us do this. We hope you have a nice evening." He said sincerely before they walked out.
Aziraphale smiled sweetly, which hit very differently when holding a large black and red serpent. "You're welcome, dear boys. Mind how you go!" He yelled with a wave.
Ryan was basically speed-walking away, trying to calm himself down. "Y'know, with a husband and guard-snake like that, I don't think anyone's gonna mess with Mr. Fell." He said with a shaky laugh.
"You got that right." Said Shane before freezing on the sidewalk for a second. He then proceeded to check his pockets. "Shit. I think I left one of my air-pods at the shop."
That was a blatant lie, though, Shane himself didn't know that. And by the time he'd finish with this task, he wouldn't remember saying or doing anything about it.
Dread took over Ryan's expression. "Dude, no-"
Shane held up his hand. "Relax, I'll go get it myself. Meet you back at that pub on the corner, I need a drink after this."
Bergara visibly relaxed after hearing he didn't have to go back into the bookshop. "That makes two of us. Alright, make sure you don't end up being snake-chow."
"Will do!" As Shane walked away from Ryan, his eyes went from their normal color to a glossy black.
~~~~~
Once the door's shut, both entities sighed, relaxing and even laughing a bit. Then they picked up where they left off. The angel placed a hand on the small of Crowley's back. "Now then, where were we, darling?" Asked the blond, feigning innocence.
"I have a fairly good idea..." Replied the demon, a wicked smirk tugging at his lips.
Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale's waist and kissed him hungrily as he pushed him against the counter. Finally alone, the serpent had a few things in mind for the world's fussiest principality.
Suddenly, there was a moment of dejavú. The front door opened again, but this time, a bit of frustration surged through the demon's body.
"Oi, we're closed!" He yelled after pulling away from Aziraphale, turning around and flinging the furthest book he could grab off the countertop. The paperback crashed against the door and onto the floor because the culprit had shut it as soon as he saw Crowley reaching for a projectile.
You little!-
The shorter quickly smacked him on the shoulder. "Crowley!" He scolded.
"Oh relax, angel. It wasn't one of your books, it was that 'Fifty Shades' thing someone left a few weeks ago." With a snap of his fingers, the aforementioned book was in his hands.
Ah, that. I've been meaning to take that to the shop next door but I keep forgetting. Oh well, it won't be tonight...
Aziraphale quickly placed a hand over the area he had hit, soothing it over. "So sorry, dear."
There was a knock on the window by Aziraphale's desk. It was Shane but his eyes were as black as the bottomless pit. He was waving and the grin on his face was a pleased one for sure.
Well, I suppose we know who it was at the door...
Yup! We're good, right?
Yes, just make sure the footage isn't usable. The recording is fine, it'd be far too suspicious if that got erased as well.
Alright, got it!
"Xelven, fuck off before I come out there and baptize you!" Shouted Crowley before pulling down the window blinds. They heard a laugh from the demon before Shane's silhouette walked away from the shop.
"Another nice demon, who would've thought?" Sighed Aziraphale, amused.
Crowley turned around and was met with those bright, blue eyes he adored so much. "Guess I'm not as special as I thought I was, eh?"
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. You're still the only one to fall in love with an angel."
The demon grinned as he draped his arms around the principality's neck. The fat paperback was still in his hand. Apparently, he was so distracted that he had completely forgotten about it. "True. Utterly whipped, me."
"Not yet, you're aren't." Whispered the blond, unable to resist himself.
Crowley's jaw dropped. "Angel!"
Yes, I definitely need to get rid of that book...
With a snap of his own, the grey novel disappeared from Crowley's hands, all the window blinds came down and the door locked with a loud click. The redheaded demon was then swiftly picked up and carried to the upstairs flat.
"You've gotta warn me before saying things like that, my brain short-circuited back there." Said Crowley as they trudged upstairs and the bookshop lights faded into darkness behind them.
The angel pouted. "Come now dear, where's the fun in that?"
"Bastard." Muttered the demon, unable to hide his smirk.
Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "You love it."
And just like that, Crowley turned to mush in his arms. "I do..." He whispered before planting a chaste kiss on the angel's neck, which Aziraphale giggled in response to.
Apparently, the night would be even longer than Aziraphale had previously estimated...