"Lost & Found" (Revised), Ch. 12 (PG-13, S, D): Love's Joys and Complications, November 15, 2014 Gratiana Lovelace
(An original fiction copyrighted by Gratiana Lovelace; all rights reserved)
[(1) top right, story logo]
[I will illustrate my story using my dream cast of --Richard Armitage for Matthew Drake, Kate Beckinsale for Jocelyn Burrows, Brenda Blethyn for Aunt Madge, Michael Crawford for Michael Ferguson, Gina McKee for Marcia Glass, James Frain for Vicar Nelson Marshall, and others.]
Author's Mature Content Note: "Lost & Found" is love story with mature themes (D for drama and S for sensuality) of love and relationships. Most chapters will be PG or PG-13. However, if you are unable or unwilling to attend a movie with the ratings I provide, then please do not read that chapter. This is my disclaimer.
Recap from the previous installment: Matthew and Jocelyn's Tuesday evening in her hotel mini-suite evolves from their slumbering to their making love with each other. Jocie tries to delay their inevitably giving into their loving hearts due to Matthew's recovering health. But Matthew loves her and he seeks her love. And Jocelyn joyfully follows her heart.
Matthew and Jocelyn have shared their love with each other this night. And there is no going back--only moving forward. But what is a turning point for Jocelyn's and Matthew's loving relationship, will prove to have unforeseen consequences that neither of them will want to face.
"Lost and Found", Chapter 12 (PG-13, S, D): Love's Joys and Complications
Matthew and Jocelyn sleep blissfully in each others' loving arms for not quite two hours. Then around 6:30pm later Tuesday, but still early evening, they awaken and gaze at each other lovingly. Their small smiles betraying their new awareness of each other as tender lovers. And they feel so right together as a couple--and as lovers.
But then, Jocelyn thinks about Matthew's health and she feels uncertain about their deepening their relationship by their making love a little while ago. So she caringly asks him with her hand caressing his face.
Jocelyn: "Matthew, are you alright?" Jocelyn gazes hopefully into Matthew's eyes as she lightly caresses his muscular bare shoulders.
Matthew: "Very." Matthew smiles. Then his hand now caresses her face and then he kisses her lips again. "You are very beautiful, Jocelyn--and you are a beautiful person as well. I love you very much." Matthew's intense loving gaze bearing testimony to his feelings [(2) right].
Jocelyn: "Thank you Matthew, you're quite handsome yourself. And you possess an inner strength and calm that I am drawn to." Then caressing his face again she answers his loving tenderness to her. "And I love you so."
Matthew and Jocelyn kiss for several moments. Then each of them visits the bathroom to freshen up--with Jocelyn [(3) right], shyly slipping on her long comfy blouse over her upper body for some modesty. And they return to bed almost naked--this time sliding into bed between the sheets.
Matthew feels truly alive for the first time in a long while. Jocelyn's tender caring ways, her encouragement and support, and their love making has helped him banish his own self doubts. Though very sober, Matthew feels almost an intoxicating rush of hopefulness and joy. Wanting to make love with Jocelyn again, Matthew pulls her closer to him and he kisses her lips and says mischievously
Matthew: "It's not quite 7:00pm. What shall we do with ourselves all evening?" A wicked smile begins to curl up at the corners of his mouth.
Jocelyn: "Matthew, that almost sounds like you're teasing." She replies in bashful amusement.
Matthew: "Well, the question was really rhetorical, Jocelyn." Matthew smiles warmly at Jocelyn.
Jocelyn notices that not only have Matthew's emotions returned to his words—love and tenderness, and now humor—but his language use and word choice has also become much more complex. And, of course, Matthew's actions and behaviors are loving and caring--like the full grown, mature man that he is. To Jocelyn, Matthew seems like he is well and recovered—as she knew he could be.
Then Matthew passionately kisses Jocelyn again, and again, and again, and again. Their bodies intertwine with each other again this night when they kiss and caress each other as their lovers needs heighten. Matthew remains lying in repose as he lifts Jocelyn above him. They gaze deeply into each others' eyes--their love and desire fusing them together, hearts, and minds, and bodies, and souls.
Matthew hands lightly finger the hem of Jocelyn's loose blouse and he smiles up at her with a raised eyebrow. Bashful at first, Jocelyn slightly nods her head and she lifts her blouse up and over her head--even as Matthew uses his arms to push himself into almost sitting upright as he adoringly kisses her lips, her neck and her loveliness revealed to him. And then Matthew lies back down, gazing up at Jocelyn adoringly--caressing her hips, urging her to give in to the loving impulse of the moment. Their lovemaking is beautiful, loving, sensuous, tender, and adoring. When their bodies tremble with their perfect shared blissful ecstasy, they sigh with joy and lay kissing and cuddling together for some time after, delighting in the simple joy of loving and being loved by each other.
Finally, around 7:15pm, Matthew and Jocelyn decide to order room service from her hotel, but they choose light meals since it is getting late. Then they put their clothes back on to receive their food at 8:00pm.
***
Around 8:30pm, when they are done with their room service dinners, Matthew and Jocelyn sit on her mini suite's couch cuddling with each other and chatting--their hands and fingers tenderly clasping and unclasping with each other. However, Matthew thinks that Jocelyn seems even more shy now--even after making love with him twice.
Matthew: "A penny?" Matthew nudges Jocelyn's temple with his nose, then he kisses her forehead. "You seem miles away."
Jocelyn: "Oh! Sorry Matthew." Jocelyn bites her lower lip. Matthew smiles, waiting for her to continue--patience being one of his virtues. "Matthew, I want you to know something ... about me."
Matthew: "Very well." Matthew gazes at Jocelyn calmly, letting her speak.
Jocelyn: "We ... I mean ... us ..." She flusters--and her face pinkens as she gestures back and forth between them.
Matthew: "Making love?" Matthew asks helpfully in a bemusedly deep voice--a smile curling at the corners of his lips at Jocelyn's sweet shyness.
Jocelyn: "Yes!" She sighs nervously and squeezes his hand. "I mean ... I don't sleep around." Jocelyn winces looking up at Matthew.
Matthew: "I did not think that you did, My Love." Matthew tells her assuringly. Then he lifts her hand to his lips and he tenderly kisses the soft skin of her delicate fingers to show his proper respect for her. Jocelyn smiles radiantly as she gazes at Matthew for his gallantry. "Nor do I--sleep around, that is--since we are sharing our sexual histories now." Matthew smiles at her wryly.
Jocelyn: "That's nice, Matthew." She nods, liking his disclosure. "And I mean ... well ... you're only the second man whom I have ever even ... kissed." Jocelyn barely whispers out the last word to Matthew as she waits for his response.
Matthew's eyebrow raises, indicating a deeper understanding about his Jocelyn--him realizing that kissed is her metaphor for all romantic intimacies.
Matthew: "Ahhh!" Matthew's face is serene, but with a small smile as he nods in acknowledgement of Jocelyn's revelation. "My love life is very similar to yours, Jocelyn." Then Matthew smiles sheepishly. "Well, that is, if one doesn't count my over eager teenage fumblings with my high school girlfriend on graduation night. She ended up marrying someone else. Ha ha ha!" He rolls his eyes bemusedly, remembering his awkward inexperience then.
Jocelyn: "Hmmm." Jocelyn smiles warmly to hear Matthew's shyness about his romantic past.
Matthew tucks a loose lock of Jocelyn's hair behind her right ear and then he cups her face in his hands and he gazes at her soulfully.
Matthew: "I have only loved deeply once before."
Matthew pauses as the memories of his late wife and son come flooding back to him. He had known her since college and they married soon thereafter--but it took them ten years to conceive their son. His face saddens at remembering her loss, and the loss of their precious son two years ago in the tragic car accident that forever changed his life. He will always love and miss them. No amount of time--nor other loves, like his sweet Jocelyn now--will erase his first family from his memories. His wife and son--and all of their many wonderful memories shared together--are a part of him, and they always will be. And Matthew feels that when he remembers his wife and son--even his grief over their deaths--they live again for him. And Matthew will carry their love with him into the future--he is their legacy in the world.
Jocelyn sits quietly embracing the now sorrowful Matthew as tears fall upon his cheeks as he remembers his grief anew. She also tears up for Matthew's tragic loss. Jocelyn knows that there is nothing that she can say to him to make Matthew feel better. So she doesn't try to babble words of comfort as well meaning people so often do--to fill the silence. But silence and giving in to one's feelings are sometimes what is needed in order to eventually get through grief. So Jocelyn acknowledges and respects Matthew's sorrow by sitting with him and caringly holding him for as long a time as he needs.
***
About forty minutes later--around 9:15pm--Jocelyn's cellphone vibrates on the coffee table. She had set its alarm earlier, to let them know that they should start thinking about meeting with Aunt Madge and Michael in the lobby at 10:00pm--in case they had fallen asleep again. Jocelyn picks up her cell phone and turns off the alarm as she sheepishly shrugs her shoulders at Matthew. He acknowledges their impending time constraint with a slight nod.
They both know that Aunt Madge will be picking Matthew up at 10:00pm. Though neither Matthew nor Jocelyn wishes to part from each other tonight, Matthew is the first to give voice to that assertion.
Matthew: "Jocelyn, I would like to stay the night with you." Matthew kisses her forehead as he intertwines his fingers with hers. "Why don't we call Aunt Madge and let her know that?" He asks hopefully, ignoring the realities of his present life--with his aunt as his guardian during his illness.
Jocelyn: Jocelyn's face displays her uncertainty. "Uh, I would like you to stay the night with me, too, Matthew." She says hesitantly, but truthfully. "But your Aunt expects you to go home with her tonight."
Matthew: "Yes, but Jocelyn, that was when I was still ..." He searches for the right word. "... lost—trapped within my injury and by my grief. I feel much better now." He smiles at her--perhaps a bit more eagerly than he feels--in the hope of convincing her.
Jocelyn: Jocelyn smiles at Matthew. "Well Matthew, we can call her. But realize, that she might still want you to go home with her—or at least see you to discuss it."
Matthew nods his head in understanding--but he really doesn't focus on his Aunt Madge having the right to dictate his actions. Matthew's body and mind have now been more than 24 hours without his bedtime calming medicine and he is alert and feeling assertive. So Jocelyn calls Aunt Madge on her cell phone and she hands the phone to Matthew. Then Jocelyn puts her hands on her cheeks and leans her elbows on her bent knees as she worriedly watches Matthew talk to his aunt.
Matthew on phone: In a more animated tone than Aunt Madge has heard him use in a long time, Matthew says cordially and cheerfully. "Hello, Aunt Madge? This is Matthew."
Aunt Madge on phone: "Hello Matthew Dear. Is anything wrong? I'm coming to pick you up in about a half hour at 10:00pm."
Matthew on phone: "No, nothing is wrong." Matthew smiles conspiratorially at Jocelyn. "Actually, our planned meeting is why I'm calling. Jocelyn and I just had a late supper so we're still enjoying our evening together. I want to stay the night with her."
Though Matthew does not expect his aunt to deny his request, the form of his statement--I want, rather than I plan--still subconsciously acknowledges his aunt's dominion over him. There is a long pause on Aunt Madge's end of the conversation. Then she replies haltingly.
Aunt Madge on phone: "Umm. Matthew Dear, I don't know if that is ... wise." Aunt Madge worries that Matthew is thinking that it will be like a child's sleepover party. But, of course, a childlike overnight is the furthest thing from Matthew's mind. "Could you please put Jocelyn on the phone for me?"
Matthew on phone: "She wants to talk to you." Matthew rolls his eyes cheekily while handing Jocelyn her cell phone.
Jocelyn on phone: "Hello Aunt Madge." Jocelyn speaks hesitantly.
Aunt Madge on phone: "Jocelyn Dear, is Matthew alright? He sounds ... different." Of course, Matthew's Aunt has gotten used to thinking of Matthew as childlike and needing her supervision. And, it is hard for her to let go.
Jocelyn on phone: "Matthew is fine, great actually!" Jocelyn tries to sound positive and Aunt Madge notices her eagerness.
Aunt Madge on phone: "Oh?"
Jocelyn on phone: "Well, you could say Matthew had a breakthrough today." Jocelyn does not want to say that they had made love—twice—but that is what she is thinking. And though Jocelyn is loathe to talk about Matthew to his Aunt Madge with him sitting right next to her listening, she has no choice. "I had called his therapist Marcia Glass last Saturday morning to ask her about Matthew giving me a hug and kisses Friday night as we parted. And she asked me what my response would be to Matthew if he did not have his health issues—since he is a very handsome fellow." Matthew smiles.
Aunt Madge on phone: "And what did you say to her, Jocelyn Dear?" Aunt Madge frowns a bit--which only Michael can see.
Jocelyn on phone: "Well, I told Marcia that she had given me a lot to think about. I mean, Matthew and I have been getting to know each other. And we get on so well with each other. I think Matthew is ... very sweet and gentlemanly." Matthew smiles and lifts Jocelyn's freehand to his lips. "Maybe ...." But Jocelyn does not finish her thought because Aunt Madge interrupts her.
Aunt Madge on phone: "Jocelyn Dear, Matthew's health issues make him vulnerable to suggestion. I think that you should take what he says with a bit of reserved judgment." Then Aunt Madge continues delicately. "And, I'm sure that you have the best of intentions, Jocelyn Dear. But you have to realize that what you think Matthew says—or even feels—might not be really real to him."
Jocelyn looks curiously at Matthew, and he looks back at her quizzically--since he can't hear what his aunt is saying to her. Thinking that she really cannot reveal to Aunt Madge that she and Matthew made love, twice, Jocelyn begins to see the wisdom of what Aunt Madge is saying.
Jocelyn on phone: "Well, maybe you're right. Maybe I am reading too much into it."
Matthew can hear what Jocelyn says. And Jocelyn sees the hurt look on Matthew's face and she instantly regrets saying that to his Aunt. Having listened to Jocelyn's end of the conversation with his Aunt, Matthew has a good idea what they are talking about.
Matthew on phone: "Jocelyn, let me speak to my aunt again, please." He says commandingly and forcefully--reaching for Jocelyn's cell phone.
Jocelyn hesitantly hands Matthew her cell phone. Because now with Aunt Madge's reminders about Matthew's health, Jocelyn feels that maybe she was naively swept away with the romantic moment to make love with Matthew—twice—however lovely and loving their romantic interludes were.
Matthew on phone: "Aunt Madge, it's Matthew again." Matthew's voice brims with annoyance and his tone is sharper than when he usually speaks to his aunt. "What is your concern about Jocelyn and I being together?" He does not say as lovers, but he is thinking it. "We are both adults."
Aunt Madge on phone: "Well, Matthew dear, it's just that your health has made you shy about others. And, it seems unusual and unlikely that you meet someone new—like Jocelyn—and you have a spontaneous recovery. You're still healing." She tries to appeal to him logically.
Matthew on phone: But love is above logic. "Yes, Aunt Madge, but part of that healing process for me is forming relationships with other people. And I have formed a relationship with Jocelyn—just like you have a relationship with Michael."
Aunt Madge on phone: "Ohh! But Matthew dear, Michael and I have known each other for many years and we love each other. But that love developed over time. You have only known Jocelyn for not quite five days."
Matthew on phone: "Jocelyn and I have spent a great deal of time together the last five days. I love Jocelyn. Don't you believe in love at first sight, Aunt Madge?"
Aunt Madge on phone: Aunt Madge is trying to find the right words to make Matthew understand. "Yes, Matthew Dear, Jocelyn is a lovely girl—warm and sweet and kind. But, you've only just met her. Loving someone means you know everything about them, and they know everything about you—the good and the bad, and you still love each other. Can you say that about Jocelyn at this point?"
Matthew on phone: "Aunt Madge, I do love Jocelyn—or I'm beginning to." Then Matthew voices a disturbing thought. "Don't you want me to be happy again?" Matthew's brows have furrowed into a permanent frown now.
Aunt Madge on phone: "Of course I do, Matthew Dear." She huffs. "I just don't want you to get hurt. You need to give yourself time. And if your love for Jocelyn is right—and if she loves you—then time won't harm it."
His Aunt Madge makes a fair point, but Matthew cannot see that.
Matthew on phone: "I appreciate your concern Aunt Madge. But, I would just hope that you would be happy for me--that I've found love again ... after my sadness."
Aunt Madge on phone: "Matthew Dear. I'm glad that you've found a friend in Jocelyn. But, I think that you need to leave it at that for now." Aunt Madge says condescendingly--as one accustomed to controlling her nephew's activities.
Matthew on phone: "But, Aunt Madge, we are more than friends. We are already lovers. We made love tonight." Matthew shares this very private information almost pridefully--to convey to his aunt that he has someone who loves him, and someone whom he loves.
Jocelyn's eyes widen at Matthew's admission of their being lovers to his Aunt. And, she knows intuitively that his Aunt won't like that Matthew has jumped into a romantic relationship with her. And Jocelyn is right.
Matthew and his Aunt have been speaking with each other on the phone for a long time now. Each of them forcefully advocating for their perspectives. But Aunt Madge has a trump card.
Aunt Madge on phone: Aunt Madge bristles with fury. "Matthew! I must insist that you meet me in the lobby as we originally planned. And you come home with me tonight! Because of your health issues, I am your legal guardian. And, as such, I can legally prevent Jocelyn from having any contact with you if you force me to do that."
Aunt Madge has become quite strident and has lost her patience with Matthew—and with Jocelyn. And Aunt Madge is speaking so loudly into the phone that Jocelyn can hear her.
Matthew on phone: "But why would you want to do that, Aunt Madge? Don't take Jocelyn away from me. Jocelyn makes me happy. Don't you want me to be happy?"
Aunt Madge on phone: "Of course I want you to be happy, Matthew. But you're not well yet. Do you think it's fair to Jocelyn to have the burden of caring for you as I have done?" Though his aunt does not consciously want Matthew to feel guilty, she is doing so quite successfully. "Matthew, please put Jocelyn on the phone again."
Matthew on phone: Defeatedly, Matthew slowly hands Jocelyn her cell phone. "She wants to speak to you again."
Jocelyn on phone: Jocelyn nods and gingerly takes her cell phone and puts it up to her ear. Then Jocelyn hesitantly says. "Hello?"
Aunt Madge feels blindsided by the unexpected turn of events with Matthew's and Jocelyn's relationship. And she is also disconcerted by this new assertiveness by Matthew.
Aunt Madge on phone: "Jocelyn, I'm not sure if Matthew is speaking literally or figuratively, so I will just ask you outright. Did you make love with my nephew Matthew tonight?" Aunt Madge emphasizes the word nephew--even though Matthew is 40 years old to her 50 years old.
Jocelyn feels chastised and believes now that it was wrong for her to make love with Matthew. Matthew sees the worry and distress on Jocelyn's face. Jocelyn has lost her confidence and she admits to Aunt Madge.
Jocelyn on phone: "Matthew and I feel very tender and loving toward each other." Aunt Madge says nothing in reply, fearing the worst. Then Jocelyn confirms what Matthew had already told Aunt Madge. "... Yes, Matthew and I made love with each other."
Aunt Madge on phone: "Jocelyn, how could you!?! I can't believe that you preyed on Matthew's vulnerability. We trusted you and you betrayed our trust." Aunt Madge viciously strikes out at Jocelyn.
Jocelyn on phone: Fearful, but still trying to grasp at a hopeful outcome, Jocelyn pleads. "I wasn't trying to betray you or harm Matthew. I'm falling in love with Matthew. I do love him!"
Aunt Madge on phone: "Well if you love him, then let him come back to me tonight. Bring him down to the lobby at 10:00pm for me to pick him up. You have to put his health before your own wishes."
Aunt Madge feels that she is fiercely defending her nephew. Or, is she defending her own status with him?
Jocelyn thinks about what Aunt Madge just said—putting Matthew's health and recovery before Jocelyn's own wishes, and wants—and she understands the wisdom in that. Then she says
Jocelyn on phone: "Alright. We'll be down there in ten minutes."
Matthew: "Hhhhhh!" Matthew sighs in frustration and anger, shakes his head, and balls his hands into fists on his bent knees.
Jocelyn: Jocelyn hangs up her cell phone and turns to Matthew saying. "Matthew, we have to meet your Aunt in the lobby so that you can go home with her tonight."
Matthew: "But ...?"
Jocelyn: Shaking her head, Jocelyn pleads with him. "It's the only way. Please, please."
Jocelyn and Matthew embrace and kiss each other in a frenzied desire to recapture what they had experienced this night--total acceptance from each other, and loving tenderness.
***
But Jocelyn and Matthew must head downstairs quickly to meet Aunt Madge and Michael. So Jocelyn pulls Matthew along the hotel corridor. At first, Matthew walks calmly with Jocelyn down the hall and into the elevator to meet his aunt.
But as they step out of the elevator and into the lobby, he realizes that his Aunt wants to control him. And Matthew wants to control his own life again. As Matthew and Jocelyn approach Aunt Madge and Michael in the lobby, it is a much different—and a much more tense—situation than what played out Friday night.
Aunt Madge: "Finally! Matthew, we're going home!"
Aunt Madge spits out her orders emphatically--so that Matthew does not argue with her. And Aunt Madge barely glances witheringly at Jocelyn. Jocelyn feels the animosity emanating from Matthew's Aunt and she trembles from its ferocity. Jocelyn believes that she is a nice girl--and she is a nice girl. But Jocelyn wonders why Aunt Madge can't see that she also only wants what is best for Matthew?
Matthew: "But, Aunt Madge, why are you so angry tonight? Why can't you be happy for Jocelyn and I? You have Michael to love now, don't you? Why can't you be happy for me?"
Aunt Madge: "You're still too unwell to know your own mind, Matthew. Chances are, you'll wake up tomorrow and not even remember Jocelyn. It happened before and it could happen again." Aunt Madge is bluffing, to undermine Jocelyn's hold on Matthew.
Jocelyn hears this, but she does not realize that Aunt Madge is bluffing. And Jocelyn also wonders if Matthew will remember her tomorrow.
Matthew: "No, I will remember Jocelyn. We love each other." Matthew says forcefully and places his arm around Jocelyn's shoulder, giving it a little squeeze.
Silent up til now--as Jocelyn has been--Aunt Madge's man friend Michael Ferguson tries to calm tempers in a moderated even tone of voice.
Michael: "Matthew, I'm glad that you and Jocelyn found each otherrr and that ye arrre forrrming a loving rrrrelationship. But, ye must take things one day at a time, Laddie. Get a good night's rrrest and sleep on it. Then we can discuss it in the morrrning, afterrr ye rrreturn from worrrk."
Matthew: "No, Michael! I want to stay with Jocelyn tonight!" Matthew yells loudly and forcefully such that the hotel desk clerk gives them a warning look. Matthew moderates his voice to a lower volume, but still speaks with great intensity. "Aunt Madge just doesn't want me to be happy since she isn't happy in her life." Though Matthew has been living with his Aunt for a year as a disaffected patient, he has obviously paid attention.
Aunt Madge: "Oh Matthew, how could you say such a thing to me? After all that I've done for you and what I've been to you."
Aunt Madge starts crying with the stress of caring for Matthew the last two years all on her shoulders. Michael comforts her and looks despairingly at Matthew and at Jocelyn.
Now finding her voice--because Jocelyn thinks that hers is the only voice that Matthew might listen to at the moment--Jocelyn appeals to Matthew.
Jocelyn: "Matthew, your aunt just wants what is best for you. And, she's known you a lot longer than I have. So, maybe you should give in to her this one time."
Matthew: "Jocelyn, don't you want to be with me?" Matthew asks in disappointment while tenderly holding Jocelyn in his arms and caressing her face. He feels that his hard won emergence into life again is being rejected by his Aunt Madge--and now by Jocelyn--that he is being rejected.
Trying not to cry, because it would not help the situation, Jocelyn replies caringly to Matthew as she rests in his arms and caresses his cheek.
Jocelyn: "Yes I do, very much want to be with you. But, not at the risk of you fighting with your Aunt Madge. She is your family." Matthew shakes his head. "Matthew, Matthew, we must do as she asks." Jocelyn holds Matthew's face in her hands. "Please, for me?"
Matthew: Crestfallen, Matthew grudgingly complies. "Alright, but at least kiss me goodnight, until I can see you tomorrow."
Aunt Madge: "No!" Aunt Madge starts to protest, but Michael admonishes her to back off.
Michael: "Shush! Madge, let the boy say his good bye properly." Aunt Madge curtly nods her head.
Leaning down to Jocelyn, Matthew takes her face in his hands and he kisses her sweetly, tenderly, lovingly and adoringly for several minutes. And Jocelyn responses to his kisses, sweetly, tenderly, lovingly and adoringly.
Matthew: "Jocelyn, I want to see you tomorrow. I want to be with you tomorrow."
Aunt Madge: "No! We're ... " Then Michael cuts Madge off and says to her under his breath
Michael: "Leave it to tomorrow Madge. Let's just get him home now." Madge nods.
Jocelyn closes her eyes in despair. Sensing that she might not be allowed to see Matthew tomorrow—or maybe ever again. Jocelyn [(4) right] opens her eyes brimming with tears, and she takes Matthew's face in her hands as she looks up at him
Jocelyn: "Matthew, whatever happens, know that I love you—and that you are worthy of love."
Matthew: "No! Don't leave me, Joceyn!" Matthew wails and shakes his head, fearful that her good bye tonight is a farewell.
Jocelyn: "Matthew, don't shut yourself off from people as you did before we met. You will only get better—and maybe regain control over your own life—if you continue to interact with others in hopeful and friendly ways. Will you do that for me?" Jocelyn still caresses Matthew's face as tears fall down her cheeks--she is no longer able to stop herself from crying.
Matthew: "Yes Jocelyn." He sighs, nodding his head. "I will do that. For you, I will do that." Then Matthew gazes soulfully into Jocelyn's eyes for what he does not know now might be the last time. "I love you, Jocelyn." Matthew enfolds Jocelyn in his arms in a tender embrace and he kisses her lovingly.
Jocelyn: "And I love you, Matthew."
Jocelyn kisses Matthew back lovingly and she caresses his face. Then Jocelyn abruptly turns away from Madge and Michael and Matthew and she walks briskly to the elevators to take her to her hotel room, weeping as she walks away from her Matthew. Matthew watches Jocelyn walk away until the elevator doors close in front of her trembling form.
Aunt Madge: "Matthew Dear, let's go home." Aunt Madge tries to say less argumentatively--but she still sounds authoritative.
Aunt Madge tugs on Matthew's arm and he looks at his Aunt with sadness. Matthew realizes that his Aunt Madge does not want him to get well—though she would say otherwise. And Matthew bows his head in defeat as he slowly retreats [(5) right] back into his safe insular world of not feeling—because feelings hurt too much. Then Madge and Matthew and Michael walk home to the apartment above the flower shop.
Matthew goes to sleep that night dreaming of Jocelyn and hoping for a life with her—not knowing then that his Aunt will not let that happen. Jocelyn's dreams are of Matthew--and their future that she fears now never will be.
To be continued with Chapter 13
Lost & Found" (Revised), Ch. 12 References for Wattpad, Nov. 15, 2014 Gratiana Lovelace
1) "Lost & Found" title graphic representing Matthew is an artistic blurring of a portrait of the Spooks character Lucas North (as portrayed by British actor Richard Armitage) found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Spooks/Spooks9/album/episode2/album/slides/2_199.html
2) Image representing Matthew is a picture of Richard Armitage portraying John Porter in 2010 StrikeBack 1, epi1, hd pix 86 found at http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/StrikeBack/album/series1/Episode1HD/ep1hd_086.jpg
3) Jocie image is Kate Beckinsale found at http://cdn03.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/beckinsale-yigal/kate-beckinsale-yigal-azrouel-02.jpg
4) Image representing Jocelyn is a portrait of the British actress Kate Beckinsale http://www.customity.com/storage/public/image/wallpaper/201007/485-kate-beckinsale-wallpaper-1920x1440-customity.jpg
5) Image representing Matthew is a picture of Lucas North (as portrayed by Richard Armitage) from Spooks series 8 episode 5 (pix 134) http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Spooks/spooks8/album/Episode5/slides/ep5_134.html
"Lost & Found" (Revised), Ch. 12 Images for Wattpad, Nov. 15, 2014 Gratiana Lovelace
http://gratianads90.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/blostfoundch12wattpadimages_nov1514gratianalovelace.jpg