I had no idea what Silas was making me for dinner. He told me to stay in my room and not to come out at all until 7:30. He kicked Jasmine and Aries out which left me wondering if Silas was going to break the news to me that I was pregnant. Obviously, not. I froze up suddenly. Or was he going to break things off with me?
I continued to look at myself in the mirror, trying to ignore the nearly paralyzing thought. I couldn't just ignore it because it was something that could genuinely happen. I didn't get the feeling from him at all-that he would end things-with the way we had been lately. If anything we had been closer, but anything could happen.
Why was I thinking this? And why couldn't I stop thinking about it? I gritted my teeth, placing my hands on my dress to smooth it out. I figured if he was making me dinner the least I could do was look a little cuter than I normally did. The dress was simple, a soft pink slip dress. I left my hair in its natural waves, near curls and put on lip gloss.
I heard a soft knock on the door. My eyes went over to the clock on my wall. It was 7:30 on the dot. He never missed a beat. I shook my head a little to myself, going over to pull my room door open. And when I did, I felt butterflies in my stomach as if I were seeing him for the first time.
I had grown accustomed to seeing Silas in dark colors. It was what he often wore, but he now wasn't wearing his usual dark color scheme. He was wearing a blue shirt which matched his eyes to nearly the same hue. I felt myself mesmerized in just how much it brought his eyes out. I always thought his eyes were beautiful, but now I couldn't stop staring.
His blonde hair was in its usual state, obviously freshly trimmed but nothing tremendously different. His face had been freshly shaved, I could smell it as well as see it. And he seemed as relaxed as he usually did, much calmer than I was feeling inside.
As much as I was checking him out, I didn't realize that he was indeed doing the same to me. His eyes moved down my frame, finding interest in the satin material of the dress as he reached out to touch it. His eyes raised back up to mine, going over my face. I tried to stop myself from blushing desperately. But I was nervous, so I grew hot much against my will.
He extended his hand for me to take. I glanced down, placing my smaller hand in his much larger one. He pulled me from my bedroom and whisked me to the dining room. I could smell the food the closer we had gotten and it smelled great. It wasn't that he never cooked-None of us had ever really cooked for the other. We ate out a lot-a lot. Or we were cooking for ourselves. So I couldn't help but feel the least bit giddy.
We both sat. I immediately looked down at the food that had prepared. It was a juicy steak on a bed of fresh vegetables. My mouth began to water instantly. Also on the table was a bottle of red wine, strawberries coated in chocolate and alongside some french macarons. Lastly, was a small candle which gave off an apple cinnamon fragrance. I moved my eyes from everything on the table to him.
He was already looking at me. I wanted to thank him. I wanted to tell him how thoughtful it was. But for some reason I felt at a loss for words. No one had done this for me ever. I was way less romantically experienced than most twenty three year olds, I had to admit. So this was big to me. This was something I knew I would never forget.
"I've never seen you so quiet," he said. I was glad he spoke up first because for some reason I had felt too nervous to. I felt like a schoolgirl again passing a 'Do you like me? Check yes or no' note. I had the same anxiety in my stomach even though this was him very much saying 'Yes, I like you very much.'
I bit my inner cheek. "This is...sweet. So sweet. Thank you." I sent him a small smile. He seemed so serious tonight, even more than usual. I found him even harder to read than normal. And that was destroying my nerves even more than usual. I was hoping that he would've smiled but he didn't.
"You look really beautiful," he said. "You're always beautiful. But..." He trailed off, breaking eye contact. "I think you look really cute in pink."
He was nervous. I almost felt myself gushing. He was so fucking nervous. My smile grew wider. He wouldn't look at me, busying himself with setting the napkin in his lap.
"I really like you in blue," I said. "It really brings out your eyes."
"Does it?" He asked. I nodded. "Do you want to taste what I made?"
"Of course," I giggled. "I'm really hungry."
"Oh," he mumbled. "I'm sorry. Let's eat."
I went to tell him that he didn't have to apologize, but he had already nervously stuffed a piece of the steak in his mouth. I shook my head softly, going to eat. Immediately as I bit into the food, the many delicious flavors jumped out at me. I moaned in delight. His eyes raised again.
"It's so good," I gushed. "All the flavors like...burst in my mouth." His lip twitched into a half smirk. I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, grow up."
"I'm sorry. It was hard," he mumbled, a small smile on his face. I immediately felt more relaxed when he smiled. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?" I asked, putting some of the food into my mouth. I nervously crossed my legs.
"Like..." He trailed off. He pursed his lips then shook his head. "Never mind."
"If you want to talk about feelings, you're doing a bad job about it," I pointed my fork at him. "You can't say never mind."
"I can't? Well, I did anyway."
I sent him a glare as he placed more food in his mouth.
"I know you said there isn't anything in particular that you want to talk about, but are you sure?"
"I want to talk about you and me," he said. "And our feelings."
"What type of feelings?" I asked.
He pursed his lips, not answering. I went back to my plate. A silence had fell over us that he never bothered to fill. I eventually ended up finishing the plate. The only thing that was heard was the forks hitting the plate on occasion. I couldn't even hear him breathing. It was unnerving.
"Silas," I mumbled, looking up. He wasn't looking at me. I let out a soft sigh. "Do you want to stop our relationship?"
His eyes snapped to mine almost immediately. But he didn't speak. I almost stood up and left. But we were supposed to be communicating. So I stayed. And I didn't look away, waiting for an answer even though I just wanted to lock myself in my room.
"Natalia..." He trailed off, his eyes hard on me. I continued to look back at him, trying to act as though I were stronger than I was.
"Silas?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.
"You want to end our relationship?" He asked, a deep frown falling on his face. He furrowed his eyebrows, almost seeming disconnected as he asked.
"I'm asking you."
"Of course not," he scoffed. "Why the fuck would I want to end our relationship?"
I was a little taken aback at his small burst in anger. I had always seen his anger way more passive than aggressive. Even when I knew he was mad, I never actually saw it. I leaned back a little in my chair.
"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I just felt...like you were doing all of this to let me down easy."
"Do I seem like I would do that to you?" He asked in confusion.
"I don't know, Silas. I can never really get a clear read on you," I frowned. "Like I know you're quiet, and that you're a good person, and you show more than you say but...I just don't know. I've only known you and Aries for a little less than a year now. I can't really predict your behavior and I'm sure you can't predict mine."
"But have I not given you my loyalty?" He asked. "Have I not shown you consistency?"
"Yes-"
"Then what is it? What is wrong that you don't trust me?"
"I do trust you. I trust you deeply."
"This is the first time, Natalia, that I'm having a hard time believing you."
I blinked. That didn't settle a good feeling in my chest. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. That felt like a slap to the face. "Wow," I couldn't help the scoff that left my mouth. I immediately felt defensive, standing up. "Thanks for the dinner."
I turned around to leave. Silas had never made me this upset. And we also had never argued. So this was a new, low sinking feeling.
"This is not communication," I heard him mutter from behind me. "Natalia, wait. Please."
I stopped. I was only halfway to my room. I turned around. He made his way toward me. God, it was so fucking hard to be mad at him when he looked like a confused upset puppy. I felt like I couldn't be mad at him.
"I don't want to argue with you. I don't like confrontation. It makes me...sad."
Sad. He was acknowledging a feeling he once said he couldn't recognize. So he was learning and growing, alongside with learning how to communicate. I nodded my head.
"I understand," I told him. "I don't want to argue with you either."
"I understand where you're coming from. I just felt defensive because I felt as though you were denying our connection and trying to make it seem like you don't know me or the other way around. And I was scared."
"Scared about what?"
He broke eye contact again. "I was scared that you didn't want me anymore."
A small gasp left my mouth. "That's not true at all. I..."
"You?"
I gulped. I was scared to say it first. But the whole reason for this dinner was communication. And if I was withholding things, how could I expect him to be honest?
I made eye contact with him. I felt myself trying to find the courage to express myself as I looked at him. There was no good reason for me to not express how deeply I cared about him. Affirmations were a good thing.
"What are you feeling now?" He asked, his eyes raking over my face and studying my features. "I've seen you look at me like that quite a few times. Aries too."
I let out a small sigh. Don't break eye contact, Natalia. Continue to look him in the eye and say what you have to say. Be a big girl, come on. "It's love."
As the sentence left my mouth, I looked away. I almost felt as though I couldn't face him. I could feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment. There was also a lump in my throat that I couldn't get rid of no matter how often I tried to swallow.
"Love?" He repeated. His voice suddenly got a lot quieter. "You love me?"
I nodded, looking back into his soft blue eyes. "I do. And I know you don't what love is-"
"You think I don't know that I love you?" He asked. "Love is when you want to be around someone all the time, right? And protect them? And you trust them?" He asked, causing me to nod my head. I knew love wasn't just one thing. Love was multifaceted. I was just scared he couldn't recognize the emotion and therefore reject me. "I love Aries. And Jasmine too. But there's something different."
"Well, I would hope so," I joked, which only resulted in another blank stare from him. "Nothing?"
You're hilarious," he remarked dryly.
"Jasmine is your sister, and Aries is your closest friend. So I don't think you would have the same feelings for them as you have for me," I told him. "Unless you want to fuck Aries."
"I wouldn't be against it. But they're just carnal feelings," he told me. "And knowing you, you would be strongly in favor of it especially if you got to watch," he raised an eyebrow.
I smiled shyly. "Maybe..." I whispered.
"I'll learn how to express my feelings for you," he said. "In the way that you need."
"I'll be fine with whatever way you show me."
"Of course you'll say that, but it's not true," he said, making me scoff. "The whole reason for tonight is because I wanted to not only just show you that I love you but tell you. I read in that book that humans aren't mind readers. If you don't tell them, they'll often second guess and doubt the other person. I don't want you to ever doubt me loving you."
I smiled, trying to ignore the pinching behind my eye's. "I wanted to tell you for a long time. But I've never told anyone I love them first before. I was terrified."
He lifted his chin a little. "How did you think I was going to react?" He asked.
I pursed my lips. "Um..." I trailed off. "Love? I don't really know what that means but thanks."
He stared at me with an annoyed yet gentle look on his face. "I've learned a lot of emotions since I've met you, Natalia. Even if I couldn't put a name on it..." He trailed off. "I asked Rafael if what I was feeling was love. He said yes. I've known for a while...I just didn't know how to tell you. I knew you cared for me. I just didn't know if you loved me."
"Well," I took a step closer, "I'd be stupid not to love you." I placed a hand on his forearm. His eyes dropped to it before he wrapped his fingers around my arm, tugging me closer.
"Stupid? Not to love me?" He asked, holding my hand. "Maybe."
He leaned down, cupping my face and pressed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, leaning my body against his and kissing him. I felt the usual warm, fuzzy feeling when he kissed and held me. But this time it felt like I was melting in to him.
His arm wrapped around my waist tightly, holding my body against his. He pulled back, eyes moving down my flushed cheeks and swollen lips to my very hard nipples that was showing through the silky yet thin material of the dress. He tightened his grip on my hand.
"Why don't we go eat some of the dessert?" He asked, urging me to go back with him.
I tried to hold my tongue, but I couldn't. "I know something I want for dessert."
"What is it?" He asked.
I placed my hands firmly on his chest, urging him back. He walked backwards, allowing me to push him over and down onto the couch. I sat, straddling him. I could nearly felt my insides purring as he stroked my thigh softly, brushing his fingers gently back and forth.
And I could feel him right under me. And he was just as excited as I was. Maybe even more so. I bucked my hips against his, my desire to feel him closer with no clothes in between kicking in.
"Don't tease me," he mumbled, pinching my ass. I jumped a little in shock, but smiled coyly.
"I'm not teasing."
"You're not?" He cocked his head to the side. "I think you know you are." He looked into my eyes. "Are you going to undress?"
I bit my inner cheek, shaking my head. "No. But I'm going to make you beg."
I stood up off of his lap, going over to the table where the desserts where still laid out. He didn't move right away, even as I sat down in the dinning room which was still in his line of view. I felt the left strap of my dress beginning to slip down my shoulder and I just let it. I focused on the chocolate covered strawberries that he laid out earlier before I put one in my mouth and took a slow bite. I moaned, which wasn't a part of my plan necessarily. They were just that good. I took another bite, hearing his footsteps walk slowly over to me.
"Natalia," he groaned lowly. "You're killing me."
I looked up at him, taking another bite. "I'm just getting started."
He took a seat across from me, looking at me hard. He went blank faced on me as he observed me, studying me and my body language. Each of my movements were purposeful and painfully slow knowing that he wanted to fuck me badly. I pressed my thighs together, trying to control myself. I didn't want to give in so soon. But I was never good with containing myself for too long.
"Can we talk about what I want to do to you?" He asked. "That's part of communication, right? Me telling you how badly I want to fuck you over this table right now? That with every bite I feel my inner demon begging to come out and fuck you until everyone in this apartment complex is uncomfortable? That I want to mark every single inch of your body as mine?" He dragged his knuckles across the table slowly.
"I think that's fair communication," I said, tucking my legs under me. I was hoping that I hid how breathy I was feeling, but I know he heard right through me.
"I know you're going to break," he said.
"Oh, really?" I asked. "How do you know?"
"I can smell it," he answered, reaching for a strawberry. I watched as he raised it to his mouth, taking a slow bite. I felt my heart in my throat as I watched him.
"Are you sure that's not wishful thinking?" The other strap of my dress had fell down. The neckline of the dress was painfully low.
"Look," he said, placing the strawberry down. "I'm not going to deny myself you."
"Oh?"
"I'm going to fuck you after you finish that piece of chocolate in your mouth," he said, standing up. He casually got up and went to the refrigerator. He grabbed something. "When you're done, come to my room."
"No."
His eyes narrowed at me. "If you're not in my room in three minutes..." He trailed off, walking off.
"What?" I asked.
He stopped in the hallway. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" I parroted.
He walked off to his room. I sat there for another minute or two. I wasn't too sure what would happen if I didn't go, but I wanted to know. So I stayed there for five painful minutes before I went off to his room. And when I got there, he wasn't there. His room was empty.
I furrowed my eyebrows. I figured he went into my room, but I was certain I heard him in his room. I spun around, freezing. Silas was in the doorway, eyes on me. He said nothing, but began to approach me. I felt myself backing up. I expected him to say something, anything. I thought he would taunt me for backing up but he didn't. I felt the bed on the back of my knees before I fell backwards and onto it.
I felt him grab my forearm, tugging me upward. He bound my hands together and tied them easily against the headboard. I gasped. Silas was tying me up? As much times as we had sex, he had never tied me up before.
And I couldn't move. As much as I tried to, I couldn't. I struggled in the ties, looking back at him. All I saw was him by the lights before he shut them off, submerging us and the entire apartment in total darkness. I felt my heart pounding in my chest.
"Silas?" I whispered out nervously.
I didn't hear anything, not a single peep. I couldn't even hear him breathing. Everything felt as though it were happening in slow motion. I felt on high alert unsure of his next move.
"Stop fucking around with me," I called out into the dark. "I can hear you." I tried lying. But I got nothing. I let out a sigh in frustration before I felt my dress being dragged down my body slow. A small breath left my mouth as it was quickly discarded. The thong that I was wearing was dragged down with the dress.
And then there was more silence.
"I know that you can't see," I heard his voice. I looked around, unsure of what direction it was coming from. "But I can."
"How can you see?" I asked.
"Night vision," he answered.
My back arched suddenly, a moan rushing out of my mouth as I felt his soft lips and tongue at work between my legs. His mouth was ice cold as though he had been sucking on ice. The chilly sensation from the oral pleasure was something I had never experienced before. But I was a huge fan as I felt his cold tongue against my clit. His fingers dig into my skin tightly as he held me down by my hips.
"Silas," I moaned, trying to move my hips closer to his face.
"Stay still, Natalia."
"Fuck no," I growled.
He chuckled, sucking on my clit. I felt my eyes roll back just as he slid two fingers inside of me. More sounds of pleasure left my mouth.
"I love how you eat my pussy," I cried. "Fuck, just like that, Silas, Please."
"You're adorable," he murmured. "Please, what?"
"Please make me cum," I whined. He pushed me back further into the bed, bending my legs until I had my knees nearly pressed against my chest. "Oh, God," I screamed. "Fuck."
I felt his tongue moving in circular motions against my wet cunt. I ground my hips against his face, near tears. It felt so fucking good. And right as I was at my peak, I felt a cold sensation against my nipples. Ice.
I curled my toes, clenching down on his fingers as I came. I sunk back into the bed, tossing my head back into the pillow. I tried to regulate my breathing as the room fell silent again.
My eyes widened as I felt a new, vibrating sensation between my legs. "When did you get this?" I gasped, tossing my head back into the pillow.
"I bought it for you," he said. I felt the bed dip down and the cold sensation of the ice against my hardened nipples. "Aries and I bought a whole drawer full of sex toys."
I gasped, biting down on my bottom lip. "When did you go?"
"The first week you moved in."
"You bitch!" I gasped.
"It was Aries' idea," he mumbled. "Or maybe it was mine...Whichever makes you less mad at me."
His fingers dug into my waist before he thrusted into me. I wanted to hold him against me, but I couldn't because my hands were tied above my head. I whimpered as he moaned deeply in my ear, leaving a soft kiss on the side of my forehead.
"Don't be affectionate if I can't hold you," I whined softly. He chuckled. "It's not funny."
"You want to hold me?" He parroted. I nodded, biting down on my inner cheek. "You are so cute. But I'm not untying you."
I groaned in frustration yet pleasure. He rested his forehead on mine, enveloping his lips against mine. I smiled a little into the kiss and I felt him mirroring mine. My heart warmed.
After we came, my body sunk back into the bed. His body conformed into mine, wrapping me firmly in his arms. He cuddled me like a teddy bear, loosening the ties on my arms slowly. He laid against my chest, his face nuzzled against my boobs.
I welcomed the opportunity happily. I wrapped my arms around him, stroking his hair. He let out a soft and pleasurable sigh as I got my wish, to hold him.
"I love you," he whispered.
I glanced down at him, continuing to run my fingers through his hair comfortingly. "I love you too, Silas."