The summer holidays came around quickly. I was looking forward to six whole weeks of lie ins, hanging out with my friends, and being able to chat freely with Alex without having to hide my phone under my desk. Mum and I had spent the week that followed watching TV in the front room, both on our phones talking to the guys we liked. I watched her as she smiled whilst typing. It took her like a million years to type any kind of message. I just hoped he was a patient man. It seemed strange watching her smile for a man that wasn't my dad. I tried to get over that feeling and focus on the fact that she had a smile on her face again.
She had never asked why I spent so much time on my phone. But I guess it wasn't unusual for me to be like that. I always spent hours on social media. I was still spending the same amount of time on my phone, but just talking to someone different. She had opened up to me last week by telling me about the man she liked. So I figured it was about time that I did the same thing.
'How are things going with Andrew?' I asked. I wasn't too sure I really wanted her to tell me, but it seemed a good way to start the conversation.
'Good,' she said. 'He's just said the funniest thing about...'
I zoned out for a few moments. It was all a bit much hearing her talk like this.
'That's great Mum,' I said. 'Actually, there's something I want to...'
'I think we're going to meet up next week.'
'What?'
'Is that a problem?'
'No. I just didn't realise you were there yet.'
She thought for a second. 'Maybe I'm not. But what if I never feel ready? I think if losing your dad has tought me one thing, it's that life is short. There's only so many chances at happiness out there, so if one comes along, you have to grab it with both hands.'
She was right. My mother was a wise woman.
I stood up. 'Where are you going?' she asked.
'I've got something I need to do. I won't be late.'
'But it's nine now. Don't forget you've got school tomorrow.'
'I'll only be at James'. And it's the last day of school tomorrow. We never do anything anyway.'
She didn't try to stop me. She trusted me to do the right thing. I grabbed my jacket, slipped on my trainers without undoing them, and was out the door a few seconds later.
I sent James a text on the way over to check he was still up. I knew he would be. He usually sat in his room watching movies till the early hours of the morning. I sent him a second text when I got there for him to let me in. I didn't want to knock on the door and disturb his parents.
'Everything okay?' he asked as he opened the door. My text had made it sound really urgent. And to me it was. I'd made a decision and I needed to talk to him about it. We got into his room before I told him.
'You know its last day of school tomorrow?'
'Of course,' he said. 'I've been waiting for this day for weeks.'
'I'm going to go to London to meet Alex.'
There was a silence between us whilst he took in what I'd just said.
'That's great,' he said, still shocked at what I'd just told him. 'Has he said he'll meet you?'
'Not yet,' I said. 'He doesn't even know I'm going.'
'Don't you think you'd be better asking him first?'
'I want to surprise him.'
'What if he's not there?'
'He would have told me if he had plans to go anywhere.'
'What if he's not ready to meet you yet?'
'Why wouldn't he be? I'm his boyfriend. He'll want to see me as much as I want to see him.'
'I'm not sure if it's a good idea?'
'Why not?'
I was starting to get really annoyed with James. Why couldn't he just be happy that I was going to see my boyfriend? Why did he have to look for problems that weren't there?
'I just think you should think things through before you go charging down there unannounced.'
'I'm not charging there,' I said, raising the sound of my voice. 'We really like each other. We want to be together. What could ever be wrong with me going to see him?'
'I just think you need to think things through first.'
'There's nothing to think about. I'm going.'
I stood up and walked towards his bedroom door.
'Wait ' he said. 'Let's talk about this.'
'That's what I came to do,' I said. 'I wanted to talk this through with my best friend. But you're taking all the excitement out of it for me.'
'I didn't mean to,' he said. 'I'm only saying it because I care about you.'
'Then just be happy for me.'
'I am. I just want you to be sensible about this.'
'Being sensible never got anybody anywhere. What if we only get so many chances at happiness?' I said, quoting my mum. 'There's a really great guy in London who really likes me. With all the shit I've had to deal with with my dad, I'm going to go get me some of that happiness.'
I opened the door to leave.
'Wait!' James shouted. 'There's something I need to tell you before you go.'
'There's nothing left to say,' I said, leaving through the door and slamming it behind me. It was the first time that James and I had ever fallen out. But I was so angry for his lack of support, that I couldn't even look at him right now. I was going to London regardless of what he thought. And I was going tomorrow.