E V A N N A
I reluctantly sat down on the comfortable and cozy couch, a small, soft blanket around me. My hair was in the messiest bun, random pieces of hair sticking out everywhere. I was wearing Ethan's plain, Nike black hoodie, and red and black pajama pants. My heart was racing really fast for some reason, and I was pretty nervous.
"Okay, is everybody here?" Dad asked, sitting on the other couch. Jayden sat down next to me, my head on his shoulder and his hand on my arm. Ethan was sitting on my other side, scrolling through his phone.
Daniel for some reason was sitting on the ground on the carpet, his AirPods in his ear. Andrew and Alex were both sitting on the bean bag chairs, and Brandon was sitting on the top part of the couch, his Bose headphones on.
"So, as you all know, our family has not had the... best relationship," Dad started.
I was going to say something but Ethan beat me to it. "Do you know who's fault that is? Oh, wait—"
"It's my fault!" Mom exclaimed, sighing. "I'm so tired of you guys blaming everyone, so just blame me. It's my fault that your dad and I divorced. It's my fault that I married other people. It's my fault, okay? I'm sorry."
Everybody went silent. All I wanted to do was go to my room, snuggle in some blankets and watch movies on my laptop. I wanted to read a book or start some summer homework instead of being stuck in a dumb family meeting.
Jayden squeezed my hand. I looked up at him and smiled.
"I can't... do anything about it," Mom continued. "I feel sorry because I created this entire problem and you guys keep blaming the wrong people and I'm tired of it. Work... has become extremely complicated and I have not had time to spend it with you guys... I'm sorry... I love you all so much, but I just don't have time..."
I turned towards Brandon and he was furiously clicking on his phone volume button, making the music louder and louder until even I could hear it playing.
But nobody continued to say something.
"I wish... I wish I could've been a better parent," Mom said. "I'm so sorry... I'll try to be a better mom..."
I wanted to start laughing. Not because anything was funny, but because it hurt me. "Dad, your turn."
Everybody's head snapped to me. I didn't mean to say that out loud but I guess it just came out. I was sick and tired of my dad doing shitty things to me and other people and never apologizing. He never tried to become a better person, instead, he just blamed it on everyone.
"Let's hear your apology and how you're so sorry for being a terrible father," I said bitterly and sarcastically. "Because you care about me so much don't you?"
Dad stared at me, speechless. He pursed his lips together and exhaled deeply through his nose. "Listen... Ev, maybe... maybe if you would try to understand—"
"I will. I'm literally willing to hear you out but I can't help it..." I told him. "Your excuses are pathetic."
I could feel Jayden stifle a laugh, holding my hand tighter. Jayden squeezed my hand again for reassurance and to tell me that he was there for me, no matter what will happen.
"I'm sorry," Dad told me, and I was shocked. I didn't expect him to actually apologize.
"I'm sorry you had to come here because your mother died," he finished.
Oh, fuck no.
Then before I could even say anything, everybody beat me to it.
"What the hell?" Ethan asked him. "Are you fucking serious?"
"Okay, you cannot be talking right now," Alex told him. "You're seriously saying that to her?"
"I hope you realize you're a shitty father," Andrew said.
"You can't even apologize to her? Instead, you're switching it to her mother? What a pussy," Brandon scoffed.
"Just tell her your sorry for being an ass, the fuck?" Daniel said.
"Why would you bring her up?" Jayden asked. "Why?"
"Dad I cannot believe you," I said, and everybody fell silent again. "The one time you're sorry, and you're sorry for the wrong thing."
"What do you want me to do then?" Dad asked me. "Apologize? For what? Say I'm sorry for being a bad father?"
"Yes!" I exclaimed, shaking from anger. "Yes, that's what I want you to do."
"Well, maybe you should've been a better daughter to start with," Dad said.
The next thing I knew, Ethan was off the couch and had Dad's collar of the shirt in his fists. "Are you fucking serious, right now?"
Mom screamed at Ethan to let go but he didn't, and she started trying to push Ethan off of him. Brandon was holding Ethan's arm, lightly nudging it to try and tell him to calm down.
Dad was staring dead into Ethan's eyes, not saying anything.
"You know what?" I said, feeling like I could burst into tears. "Maybe you're right, Dad. I should've realized you changing would be impossible. I should've been better."
"Jesus Christ, if you miss your mother so much then why don't you go be with her?" Dad told me, shoving Ethan off of him.
Ethan barely moved except for staggering slightly, and I could see how pissed he became.
"Oh, so you're telling me to just... die?" I told him.
"You said you wanted to be with your mother."
You're fucking kidding me.
I couldn't believe my dad could be that selfish and that rude. A million thoughts rushed into my head. Fine then, I'll kill myself. I'll run onto the road. I'll overdose on pills. I'll jump off of a building. I'll hang myself. I'll just die.
"Fine, then," I told him. "Since it sounds like you just wish your own daughter was dead, I'll do you a favor."
And I could feel the lump forming in my throat, a painful feeling in my heart. The feeling I would break down if I didn't run away.
So that's exactly what I did and ran upstairs into my room, slammed the door, locked it, and told myself I wouldn't cry. But, it was too late. Hot tears rolled down my cheek. It hurt too much. I hated him. I hated him so much.
I could hear yelling downstairs. Mostly Ethan and Brandon yelling at dad, defending me, and Mom screaming at them to stop.
I paced around my room, shaking. I burst into more tears as I kept telling myself it would be okay.
Then my door whipped open as if somebody just picked my locked and opened the door—oh wait, that's exactly what they did. Somebody's really got to change that lock.
Almost immediately, Jayden ran in, grabbed both of my upper arms, his eyes full of concern and panic. He saw me crying and he was breathing heavily, trembling.
"E-Evvy, a-are you okay?" He stammered. His eyes started glancing everywhere, looking at my wrists, then the bathroom, then back at my eyes, then back to my wrists. And I knew why.
"I-I thought... I thought you were a-actually going to do something," he said, squeezing my left wrist. "I thought you would a-actually try and k-kill yourself, oh my god, Evvy, please don't s-scare me like that."
He pulled me into a hug and held me there as I cried into his chest, gripping onto his shirt. After a minute I pulled away, wiping my tears, telling myself to stop.
"I was so scared," he said. "I-I can't lose y-you, Evvy."
I gave him a small smile through my tears. "I'm sorry... but... I won't hurt myself just because my dad said something stupid.... okay?"
He hugged me tighter, his chest rising heavily, his arms slightly shaking too. "You scared me so much I...I... are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I told him reassuringly, trying to get him to calm down too.
He held onto me like if he didn't he was going to lose me. "I'm so sorry..."
"Why are you sorry?" I asked, putting my head on his shoulders.
"Because... I want to help you... but I can't—can't do anything for you..."
"You just being by my side is enough, Jayden," I said. "You're all I need, okay?"
"Lovely sibling moment," Alex's voice came from the door. "But, we have a problem."
"What problem?" I asked, pulling away from Jayden.
"Uh," Alex muttered, leaning against the door frame. "Maybe you should... come downstairs and look."
Jayden and I followed Alex downstairs and my jaw dropped. The entire living room was a mess. The table was knocked over, pieces of shattered glass lay on the floor, chairs were everywhere and broken, and the couch pillows were all on the ground.
When I turned to Ethan, he had a deep cut with blood gushing out of it right below his eyes and running across his cheek. There were tissues full of blood on the ground. He was holding a piece of napkin to his cut, wincing in pain.
Brandon had a huge cut running across his forearms, blood dripping off everywhere. He was clenching his jaw in pain, looking pissed off.
Andrew ran to them with a first aid kit while Daniel was telling them to go to the hospital.
"W-What happened?" I stammered, running over to both of them.
Brandon chuckled. "Nothing happened, don't worry about it."
"T-that does not look like nothing," I said. "What happened?"
I was so caught up in my feelings I realized I couldn't even hear all of this happen.
Ethan smiled, slightly wincing. "Listen, Ev. We're fine, don't worry."
"No, what happened?" I asked. "Why won't you tell me? This... you guys are hurt! And I... I just want to know what happened..."
"Bro, go to the hospital," Daniel urged. "Come on, please. You guys are injured."
They ignored both of us.
Brandon and Ethan glanced at each other and exchanged looks. They were talking with their eyes and I wanted to know what happened, but they wouldn't tell me.
"Guys, we're okay," Ethan said.
"Don't ask me one more time or I'm going to smack one of you," Brandon said, rolling his eyes.
"What he means is that he's fine too," Ethan said, sighing.
"Go to the hospital," Daniel said. "Please."
Ethan and Brandon looked at each other.
"Maybe you're okay, but I'm not," Daniel said. "Please. For me. Get help..."
Ethan got up, more blood gushing out of his cut. "Fine, someone get me more—"
"On it," Andrew said, running to the other side of the living room to the storage room.
"Woah, Woah," Brandon said. "Whose car are we riding? Because I know for a fact I'm not getting any blood on my beautiful baby."
"Shut up," Daniel said. "You're fucking bleeding your car doesn't matter."
Daniel seemed to be in a lot of distress seeing them like this. It made me sad seeing how it looked like Daniel was about to start breaking down.
Brandon stared at his little brother than sighed. "Fine, Ethan, we're riding your car."
"Bro, I don't think I can drive," Ethan said. "Because well, I'm fucking bleeding too."
"Just call an ambulance!" Jayden yelled, taking out his phone and dialing 911.
"Ethan, please," I begged. "Just tell me—"
"Ev," Ethan cut me off. "It's okay. You don't need to know. We're getting help, don't worry."
"W-what? I can't go?" I asked.
"It'll just be Andrew, Daniel, Brandon and I, okay?" Ethan said. "You, Alex, and Jayden stay here."
"B-but—"
He gave me a please-don't-push-it look and I took a deep breath, not wanting to argue. "Okay... but... please be careful."
Ethan gave me a smile. "We'll be back."
No. Somethings going to happen. Nobody actually comes back. I thought of everyone that kept telling me that they'll be back. And all of sudden, panic flooded in me. Why was I getting so nervous? Why was I shaking so badly?
Why was I so scared of letting them go? I didn't know what was happening to me. I never had a problem with this. Maybe the trauma of my mom disappearing actually hit me once again after a while. Now I was terrified something was going to happen to them.
"Evanna," Alex said, shaking me lightly. "Hey, hey, what's wrong? You're crying... are you okay?"
I snapped out of my thoughts, wiping my tears. "Y-yeah."
But I actually wasn't. Watching my brothers go out of the house and leave all of a sudden gave me a strange, scary feeling.
Every painful second, my breaths became more and more shallow. My chest rose heavily and I knew I was starting to hyperventilate. I gripped onto Alex's forearm extremely tightly, feeling like I was going to faint any second.
Then I started feeling bad which started fueling my anxiety attack more. I hated having anxiety attacks in front of other people because I didn't want them to be worried. I didn't want the attention.
Jayden's eyes met mine and he was staring at me in panic. "U-uh, okay, Evvy, it's okay, just... b-breathe, deeply, um... you'll be a-alright just f-focus on b-breathing uh—"
"Listen to my voice, okay?" Alex told me firmly as I tried to calm down. "Take deep breaths, okay? Slowly... deeply..."
The walls felt like they were caving in and I got claustrophobic, feeling like I was trapped and not able to move.
But slowly and painfully, I was able to control my breathing. I shut closed my eyes, wanting this to be over quick. I sat down on the stairs, gripping the railing tightly.
It'll be okay, I told myself.
Nothing will happen.
It'll be fine.
my brothers
- e t h a n -
Everyone watched, stunned and silent as Evanna ran up to her room, slamming the door shut. Jayden immediately ran after her. Anger boiled in my veins. It took all of my power into not turning and punching her dad right in the jaw and break it.
"Are you fucking stupid?" Brandon yelled, shoving Evanna's dad. "What the fuck is your problem?"
I tried holding him back by his arm, but he pushed me away and grabbed Evanna's dad's collar. "She's your fucking daughter!"
Mike shoved Brandon's hands off of him. "Hey! How dare you curse at me! You—"
"You just told your daughter to go kill herself, you fucking bastard!" Brandon yelled, shoving him again.
"How is that your problem?" Mike yelled back. "You don't have any business—"
"She's my fucking sister!" Brandon shouted. "You just told a 13-year old girl to kill herself, are you fucking dumb?"
"Brandon! Stop it!" Mom screamed, pulling Brandon away.
"No! Mom, you are so fucking clueless," Brandon told her. "Can't you see what this bastard is doing?"
"Brandon! Stop!" She yelled again, pulling on his arm, begging him.
"What kind of sons did you raise?" Mikes shouted. Then all of a sudden, he reached for the book that was laying on the table and hurled it at Brandon.
The book hit Brandon's head, and everyone seemed to freeze. For that split second, you could see the rage firing in his eyes. Everybody then started yelling at each other.
Andrew and Alex had to hold Brandon back by grabbing each of his arms. They were using all of their strength to hold him back from killing Mike. I, on the other hand, got even more pissed.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I shouted at Mike. "That's my fucking brother, dick head!"
"Tell your brother to calm down!" Mike yelled.
"You threw a fucking book at him!" I yelled back. "What's your fucking problem?"
And then the worst thing happened. I should've seen it coming, but surprisingly I didn't.
Mike grabbed a glass plate from the ground and threw it at my head. Before I could react, Brandon swung his arm and hit the plate, the glass shattering everywhere. A huge piece of glass flew right under my eye, hitting my cheek. A sharp, intense pain exploded in my face, and blood started dripping down.
"Mike!" Mom yelled, pulling him away. "Come on, you need some air."
And they went outside together.
I stared at Brandon and his chest was rising heavily and slowly, his fists balled up and knuckles turning white.
Alex ran upstairs to get Evanna and Jayden as the rest of us went quiet. I stared at the mess in the living room. The shattered glass lay everywhere.
My eyes immediately shot up to Brandon's arm. "Shit, Brandon, your arm..."
The cut ran from his wrist to the middle of his forearm. "Bro, you shouldn't be talking, your face..."
And then everyone came back downstairs.
That's what happened when Evanna was upstairs.
Now, I was in the emergency room with Brandon, Andrew, and Daniel. We lied that we were at a party and it got out of hand. They believed it and didn't question us anymore.
It was really frustrating how my mom didn't realize how abusive Mike can get. But then Brandon pointed something out to me.
"I think she knows, but she chooses to ignore it," Brandon said. "She knows. She sees it. She saw it today. But you know what she texted me? Apparently I'm grounded for a month and we all have to apologize for getting mad."
"Fucking swear to god," Daniel muttered. "How does Evanna deal with this shit?"
"We just... have to hope that something happens. Maybe a miracle. Maybe Ethan can get custody of us," Andrew said, chuckling softly. "That'd be... nice."
"I want to..." I said. "But... I don't know. I have a feeling though. Andrew's right. A miracle. Something. Just... let's wait a little bit."
***
Merry Late Christmas! I hope everybody had a wonderful holiday week! My Christmas was great and I also updated :)
Next chapter will skip 3 months and to where school starts, so I hope you guys are ready for school!
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