I rode into Strawberry, desperately in need of a drink. I had chosen the furthest away point from Saint Denis that I could, I really was not in the frame of mind to face anyone else.
"Ann! Is that you?" I heard a voice.
"Emil! Didn't think I'd see you again," I laughed, looking at the man I'd saved not a few days ago, "You're looking better."
"I can walk now, so I can't complain," he smiled, "How's life treating you?"
"Aw, about as well as life can," I said, "Any more problems with those Laramie boys?"
"They came a few nights ago, robbed us blind," he sighed, scratching the back of his head, "Not much we can do, 'cept get outta here as soon as we can. Come, let me buy you a drink. We never got much of a chance to speak last we met, I'd like to know you better."
"Well, I don't see why not," I shrugged, "Lead the way."
We sat in the bar for a few hours, just chatting. I told him about me, per his questions, and he told me about himself. I hadn't told him I was a gang member, just that I was something of a traveller myself, being with a big group and all. He and his group were made up of three different families, moving from Germany to America for a new life.
Emil was an interesting man, and he made me smile more than I had in recent times. His stories of their journey from New York down to West Elizabeth were quite something, and he was just a friendly guy altogether. He was one of the only members of his group who could speak English, making their interactions with the Laramie Gang that bit more difficult. The Laramie boys had robbed them multiple times already, but they weren't fighting back. They had no weapons and no training.
I met up with Emil a few times over the next few days, becoming good friends with him. I had booked a hotel room in Strawberry, feeling the need to distance myself from both of my families as much as possible. We shared drinks and laughter, learning more about one another as time passed. Life as a settler was certainly not a life I wanted myself, and I was amazed he was still as kind as he was despite his hardship.
We went riding and fishing, hunting and more drinking. I had decided I had earned a break from Dutch and his shenanigans, and I almost felt like a normal person doing things with Emil, rather than an outlaw on the run from a ridiculous price.
"I'll see if I can't get some of your stuff back for you," I said, standing up suddenly during one of our conversations, "I'll be in and out before they know it, I'll see you back at your camp."
"No, I can't let you do that!" he argued, "You could get killed, I won't let that happen for some stuff!"
"I won't get killed," I shrugged, "Believe me, I've done this before. If they do see me, well, I'll shoot my way out."
"No, it's not happening!" he argued.
"Come with me then, if its that big a deal," I sighed, "But I'm doing this."
So, he came with me. We rode to Hanging Dog Ranch where the Laramie Gang made their base.
"So, I'd wager... it'll be in that house, if they still have your stuff," I whispered to him, "You hang back, I'm gonna sneak in through the window. I'll be in and out before you know it."
"Be careful, Ann," he grabbed my arms, "They're just things, your life is more important."
"I promise," I grinned, "This ain't my first rodeo, Mr Ackermann."
"I don't doubt that, Miss Wright," he laughed, "You're certainly a lady of secrets, ones I figure I don't want to find out. Thank you, again."
"I'll see you soon," I said, crouching down and running towards the house.
Once again, my promise was kept. I found money, valuables, and even some canned foods for the settlers. It would more than make up for what had been taken.
"Here, they never even knew I was there," I grinned, showing him my bulging satchel, "Let's get outta here, I'll give you what you're due."
"Ann... I-I don't know what to say," he stammered.
"Say nothing, mount up! Let's get back to your camp, we'll sort out what the hell I've got there," I grinned, climbing on Roach and geeing him on.
My collection was pretty extensive. The money plus the valuables would definitely keep the settlers going until they reached California, it was much more than had been stolen from them. They were thanking me profusely as they stared at the riches laid out in front of them, an indication of how full their bellies would be in the coming months.
"You've saved us," Emil told me, "You've saved me again. I don't know how I can ever repay you."
"I'm just making up for the poor welcome you've received from my people so far," I shrugged, "But you'd best get outta here. Soon. The Laramie Gang will suspect you, and I don't want to think about what they might do."
"We will, we're making last preparations," he promised, "We'll be gone by tomorrow night, but... well, I'll miss you, Ann."
"I'll miss you too, Emil," I smiled, "Our chats. But life moves on, and I think my time in this area is coming to an end too. We can send letters to one another, I'm sure. Send any letters for me to Tacitus Kilgore, it'll find me."
"I don't want to know why its Tacitus Kilgore, not just Ann Wright," he laughed before pulling me into a hug, "Be safe. Try your best not to get hurt."
"I'll come see you tomorrow evening, before you go," I smiled, "You be safe, too. There's worse folk out there than the Laramie Gang."
"Thank you again, Ann, from all of us," he let go off me, "You're a good person."
"Nah, that I'm certainly not," I laughed, mounting up, "Don't spend that all at once, you hear? I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodbye," he waved me off before turning back to his family.
"What's got you so downcast?" Arthur asked, sitting beside me by the fire that night. Nobody had commented on my few days of disappearance, giving me further indication that it was a well deserved holiday.
"I'm not downcast so much as..." I shrugged, "I don't know. I helped a guy, I've become good friends with him, but now he's gotta leave. I'm glad he's gonna get a better life, him and his family, but... well, I'll miss him."
"Understandable," he put his hand on my knee, squeezing it, "You've helped him on his way out, its bittersweet. But you did a good thing. Be proud of that."
"Yeah, I know," I smiled sadly, "I'm going to say goodbye to him tomorrow. He's gotta leave before the Laramie Gang rain down on him and his folk, I stole them some valuables they'd been robbed of to get them on their way. If anything happens, god I... I wouldn't forgive myself."
"It'll be fine," Hosea smiled at me, "I'm proud of you, my girl."
"I just saw a whole heap of Laramie boys riding out of Hanging Dog Ranch," Bill walked over to the campfire, a bottle in his hand, "They looked mighty angry, glad it weren't at us."
I froze, turning to Bill.
"Which direction where they headed? How long ago?" I demanded, standing up quickly.
"Uh... towards Mount Shann, I guess?" he said, "Maybe an hour ago, I was out hunting."
"Shit!" I yelled, running towards Roach without a second thought.
"Ann!" I heard yells as I mounted up and geed him on, but I ignored them. What had I done?
The whole camp was up in flames by the time I arrived, the screams shaking the entire mountain. The fires lit the side of the mountain and my heart dropped when I saw it. I was a damned fool, once again!
"Emil!" I yelled, riding in with my gun raised, taking down the Laramie members that I could see.
I dismounted Roach, coughing harshly as smoke entered my lungs, obscured my vision. My ears were just filled with the screams, the terror, as people around me faced death.
"Ann!" I heard a yell and turned, Emil was running towards me with his gun out, "What are you doing here?"
I grabbed him, looking him over for injuries. He didn't seem too bad, apart from being covered in soot and blood that I assumed wasn't his own.
"One of my friends came back to camp, said he'd seen Laramie boys riding in this direction," I coughed, "I knew immediately. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have stolen from them!"
"They'd have done this anyway, it's not your fault!" he yelled as we ran to cover, trying to avoid bullets and fire.
"There's too many of them, we can't stop this!" I told him, "We need to get out of here, and fast!"
"Not without Ida and Steffi," he said, his face set, "My sisters... We've got to find them!"
"Fine, but quickly!" I said, "They're gonna overrun us soon, we grab them and get up the mountain. I think I know a way they won't follow, then we'll get you on a train and the hell out of here!"
"Let's go!" he grabbed my arm, "Steffi! Ida!"
"Emil!" I heard a young girl's voice, "Hier! Emil!"
"Steffi, bist du verletzt?" Emil replied as the child ran to him, "Wo ist Ida?"
"Ich weiss nicht, sie war am Lagerfeuer!" Steffi replied, "Emil, was machen wir?"
"Ann, my sister was last by the campfire, we need to find her before they get her!" Emil turned and whispered something to his other sister.
She nodded before running off, heading in the direction of the mountain.
"We'll find Ida and join her, come on!" Emil yelled, readying his gun.
We ran towards the screams, I wasn't holding out much hope for Ida's survival. All I knew was, we needed to get the hell out of here before they started on us as well.
"Ida!" I yelled alongside Emil, listening for any sound that indicated she was alive.
"We need to go if we don't find her soon," I warned him and he turned to me, his eyes shining from the flames.
"I'm not leaving her, Ann," he argued, "Not a chance."
"Come on, then," I said, leading the way, "Ida!"
"Emil!" a tortured scream caused us both to turn around.
A girl, Ida, was wrestling with a man twice her size. He had a knife pointed at her chest, he was easily overpowering her and I knew she'd be dead if I didn't act. I was almost shocked to inaction, a fully grown man battling with a kid, trying to kill her?
I pulled the trigger, three shots straight into the head of the Laramie member, he dropped dead immediately. Emil ran forward and grabbed Ida, checking her over for injuries before running towards me.
"Go! I'll cover you, head for where Steffi is and I'll get you out!" I yelled, aiming shots over his shoulder.
We ran, doing our best to leave the mess of bodies and screaming behind us, but I was tackled to the ground before we quite got out. I wrestled with the gun of my attacker as he tried to knock me out with it, trying to force it to point it at his own head -
BANG
The man collapsed on top of me and I glanced to see Emil, standing above me with his gun raised.
"We need to go, now!" he yelled, dragging me to my feet as gunshots rained down around us.
We ran as fast as we could, covering the two girls as we made our way up the mountain pass. Some of the Laramie members were following us, more than we could deal with ourselves, so we had to run and hope for the best.
"This way!" I yelled, taking them down a narrower path, one I hoped would prove too much for the burly Laramie boys, "We'll get out of this, come on!"
I let Ida and Steffi go ahead of me, Emil forced me to be in front of him. We moved as quickly as we could on the narrow cliffside path, one wrong step would send us plummeting to the ground fifty feet below. The shots behind us had died down significantly, they'd either given up or were more focused on making it across alive and dealing with us after.
"Just a bit further, then we'll be clear!" I said, shuffling along the cliffside.
"Thank you, Ann," Emil breathed beside me, "Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet, we ain't free," I warned him, "This path gets narrower here, take your time."
No sooner had I said it than I heard rocks slide behind me. I turned without hesitation, grabbing Emil's hand and falling to my stomach as he slipped down the side. I grunted with the effort as the impact winded me, but my grip only tightened, clinging onto Emil with every ounce of my being.
"Emil!" I heard cries behind me as I struggled to lift him up, beads of sweat forming on my forehead.
"I've got you!" I yelled, my voice strained as my arms started to ache, "Come on, you can do it!"
I pulled and pulled, but he wasn't moving. I felt my own body slipping down with him, I used one hand to grip tightly onto a rock, the sharp sides cutting into my hand. Tears pricked at my cheeks as I stared down at Emil but he only smiled sadly at me.
"Make sure they get out, Ann, please," he said softly, "My sisters are the most important things to me. Get them out."
"I'm getting you all out, don't give up! I'm gonna get you out, Emil," I forced out, my hands growing sweatier, the grip harder to hold.
"No, Ann," he said, "You've saved me enough already. It's time to let go."
"No!" I screamed, but it was too late.
Emil had let go of my hand, my grip faltered and he fell from my grasp. It happened in slow motion, the man I had seen as a friend falling down to the ground below us, an almost peaceful smile on his face despite his impending demise. I was frozen there, shock and grief written on my features when a shot beside me took me out of my distraught state. I pulled my gun without hesitation, firing shots at the man who was coming along the path towards us, before turning to the two girls in front of me.
"Go!" I yelled, pushing them on, "Quick!"
They seemed just as shaken as me, but did as I said. We kept a quick pace, I had one eye behind us, still unable to believe that Emil was gone... just like that.
I whistled loudly for Roach as soon as we got to flatter ground, he appeared without fail. I could always count on that damn horse.
I lifted the two kids onto him, they were only about twelve or thirteen. I just needed to get them to the nearest station, Roach would last until then. They wouldn't be any heavier than if I put Arthur on Roach with me, it would be fine.
I needed to do what Emil asked and get them to safety.
I climbed up in front of them, geeing Roach on. After everything, I just had to get these two girls out, even if I died trying!
"Hold on!" I yelled, leading us to Wallace Station.
We seemed to be in the clear, but I wouldn't be happy until I knew the girls were on a train to safety. I rode in silence, I could hear the kids weeping behind me. I had to stay strong until they were gone, it wouldn't be fair to break down when it was my own goddamned fault.
We got there and I immediately bought two tickets to Saint Denis, ushering them onto the train and giving them their tickets.
"Go to Saint Denis," I said, handing them a wad of cash, "Find somewhere to stay. Get in contact with family. This is all I can do for you. I'm so sorry."
"Thank... thank you," Steffi said to me before turning to her sister and leaving me. I had no idea what else to do for them, I felt god awful sending them to a city by themselves but they were better there than with us Van der Lindes.
Emil. It was my own goddamn fault, I should have stayed out of things! Why did I always have to get involved? Why was I such a fool?
I mounted Roach, heading back to camp with my head down. What the hell had I done to those people?
"You're sure she was headed here?" I could have sworn it was Dutch.
"I told her they were leaving Hanging Dog Ranch and she ran off," and that sounded like Bill.
"Annie!" I heard a cry and looked up as hoofbeats charged towards me.
Dutch, Javier, Arthur, Bill, Charles, and John were all riding towards me, their faces filled with concern.
"Are you alright, my girl?" Dutch asked as they stopped in front of me, and I couldn't stop my lip from wobbling.
"Come here," Arthur dismounted and walked towards me, lifting me off of Roach and holding me tightly, "It's alright, Annie."
My chest heaved as I cried into his chest, finally giving in to my emotions. My friend, Emil, dead because of me. What the hell did I think I was doing? I could have pulled him up, I just let him go!
"John, lead Roach," Arthur was saying, "I'll take her on Hestia. We should head back."
I let him help me up, my mind foggy as he rode hard back to camp. I still hadn't spoken by the time he lifted me off of Hestia and helped me to the campfire, a mug of coffee placed in my hands.
"What happened, my dear?" Hosea asked, breaking the silence.
"I...." I choked out, "I got involved... people died..."
"The people you were talking about before? Your friend?" he pressed and I nodded.
"The camp... it was up in flames," I said quietly, "I rode in, found Emil and his sisters and got them out but... he slipped, I was holding onto him but... I let go and he fell. And now the only survivors from that massacre are two kids who can barely speak English, currently on a train to Saint Denis!"
"You helped them as best you could," Charles said, "I know of that gang. If you hadn't helped, there wouldn't even be two survivors. You did nothing wrong."
"But he's dead! I got involved and he's dead!" I yelled, my voice cracking, "Just like usual, I got involved and everything went to shit!"
"Hey, you're okay," Arthur pulled me gently into him, "Annie, its alright. You're allowed to be angry, you lost a friend. But don't blame yourself, please. Take a deep breath, you'll get through it."
"I miss him," I breathed as he kissed the top of my head.
"I know," he sighed, "You've had a long day. We should get you to bed now."
I nodded silently, allowing him to stand me up and lead me to my tent. I collapsed down in my bed, my knees pulled up to my chin, tears flowing from my eyes as I sat silently.
"It's okay to be upset," Arthur said, "Nobody is gonna think less of you. You lost a friend. But don't let it consume you, because you'll end up tearing yourself apart."
"I know..." I sighed slightly, "I'm sorry, I just..."
"I know," he gave me a small smile, "Get some rest. We'll talk in the morning."
The next morning, I awoke to Dutch and Arthur talking outside my tent.
"She's devastated, Dutch," Arthur was saying, "She lost her friend, from what I understand, he fell as she was trying to pull him to safety. She blames herself."
"I managed to find the two girls she mentioned," Dutch replied, "I went to Saint Denis, arrived just before that train and saw the two girls. German, they were. Believe it or not, Trelawny is currently in Saint Denis. He's sorting them out, they won't be left to their own devices. She saved them and they will have a much better life because of it."
"A life without their brother or any other family," I stepped out, causing them to turn around in shock, "Thank you, Dutch. It means a lot to me."
"How are you feeling, my girl?" he asked gently.
"Better, I guess," I sighed, "Not really. I still feel like... like he's dead because of me. They all are."
"They're not," Dutch sighed, "The Laramie Gang, they've been doing this for years. Settlers always end up this way, but there's never normally survivors. You made a difference to those girls, trust me. Their lives will be so much better now, just because you intervened."
"I..." I sighed, "I miss him."
"And do you think he'd want you allowing his death to tear you apart?" Dutch asked sternly but I didn't reply, "I'll take that as a no. Please, just... don't let it consume you."
"I saw my parents too, just a few days ago," I sighed, "Before everything went to hell."
"What did you find?" Dutch led me inside and settled down on the edge of my bed, giving us some privacy. Arthur followed us in.
I clenched my jaw and looked up at him, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.
"They never gave me up," I finally forced out, "My grandmother didn't like my mother, so by proxy didn't like me. She got rid of me without their knowledge. They have a memorial to me in their backyard, today is my birthday and they were out there mourning me."
"Did you speak to them?" Dutch looked shocked.
"No," I gave a small laugh, "It wouldn't have been fair. To speak to them and fill them with hope, then leave again. I expected to hate them, but if I'd spoken to them, I think I would have struggled to go."
"You made the right choice, darling," Dutch clapped me on the shoulder.
"I left them my blanket," I continued, "They don't know what I look like, but they at least know I lived. So they no longer have to live their lives in mourning."
"I'm proud of you, my girl," Dutch smiled, "And I'm glad you found closure."
"Closure, or more questions?" I forced a laugh, "I'm gonna get breakfast, then deal with those Gray's. I need to clear my head a bit, after all... all this."
"Good plan," Dutch said, standing, "Don't let it consume you, this thing with that boy. You couldn't have helped anymore than you did. Try get your mind off it."
"He's right," Arthur squeezed my shoulder, "And believe me, these two families are exactly the right way to do it."
I forced a small smile as they both left me. I just had to pull it together, this was ridiculous. They were right, Emil had let himself go to save his sisters. It was his choice, not mine. I had to be strong, what sort of outlaw was I if I broke down every time someone died?
A very human one, apparently.