I head up the stairs to the second floor. I managed to find myself in Dominic's basement. I ended up playing pool with a group of strangers. It was actually really fun, I was starting to see why people go to these things.
Now that I've left I realise that I'll probably never see those people again. Maybe in a couple of classes, or passing them in school. But it's not like I got to know them, and I don't think I'll talk to them again. I'd much prefer to hang out with my friends. Or Guy.
After an hour in the basement I searched the first floor for him. Now I'm on the second, I look into the first room. No Guy. I check the second room. He's here. I'd like to say that I'm surprised by who else I see, but I think we were all expecting Amelia to come running back to Mason eventually.
"What about Ava?" asks Guy, frustration present in his voice.
Before Amelia can answer, Mason butts in, "I'm gonna go."
He makes sure to bump into my shoulder as he passes me. I stumble into the doorway. Jerk.
Amelia and Guy hear and turn to look at me. I can tell they aren't happy I'm here to hear this, but they don't tell me to leave.
"Close the door, James," says Amelia.
I do as I'm told before leaning up against the wall.
Guy asks the same question again, "What about Ava?"
"What about her? What happened between us wasn't serious."
"Maybe not but she cared a lot about you and you led her on."
Amelia snaps, "I'm straight! What happened between Ava and I was just a bit of fun."
Again, I'm not surprised. Guy and I could see it. I'm sure even Ava did, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. I get that. I feel so bad for her, this isn't the first time she's gotten hurt like this.
Guy, Ava and I were in the drama room. We didn't have a reason for it this time, we were just hanging out. We weren't meant to, but their teacher never seemed to catch us. They were right, I'd started breaking the rules a lot more. It was kind of liberating.
Guy and I had been hanging out with Ava a lot. He's right, she's a really cool person. We're lucky to be her friends.
To be honest she seemed to be spending more time with us than Amelia, which we found concerning, not that we minded at all. The signs that something was off were there for a while, I wish Amelia wasn't so thoughtless.
We were all eating and drinking, another thing that we shouldn't do. Ava took a swig of her lemonade and looked over at Guy, "Truth or dare?"
We'd been playing this game for a while now, it hadn't gotten interesting. Yet.
He looked her dead in the eyes, "Truth."
I was shocked, Guy rarely chooses truth, Ava and I had him doing handstands and cartwheels and sending random text messages all lunch.
Ava grins, "How many ex's do you have?"
I already knew the answer to this, but I waited for Guy to count.
"Eleven."
Ava looked surprised, "Wow."
"What? Things were so different back then."
Guy seemed kind of uncomfortable, he doesn't really like talking about his past, so Ava doesn't press him any further.
"Good point."
"Truth or dare?"
Ava hesitated for a second, "Truth"
"How many ex's do you have?"
"Zero"
"For real?"
"Yep. I've flirted with a few girls in the past but it never went anywhere. The most experience I've had is with Amelia. You know, it was a while ago that I accepted that I'm a lesbian, yet I still can't get a girlfriend."
"You'll find someone," I said.
"I hope you're right."
"That would be okay if you told her that. She asked you what it meant to you and you always dodged the question. I'm sure she wouldn't have minded if you had been honest."
"Yeah, I fucked up, is that what you wanted to hear?"
"This isn't about me."
"Really? Then why did you insert yourself in this?"
"I'm looking out for Ava."
"How about I look out for James then?"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Come on, don't act like you don't know what's going to happen when you leave."
"I don't even know if I'm leaving yet."
"But if you are? You're going to leave James like your dad left your mum."
"It's nothing like that."
"You sure? It seems pretty similar to me."
With that Amelia storms past me and exits the room.
I close the door behind her and make my way over to Guy.
"Don't listen to her. You know she didn't mean it, she's just upset."
I can see his lip quiver and I pull him into a hug.
"She's right though. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, James."
"I know that. It's not your fault. And like you said, we don't know what's going to happen. Let's just take it one day at a time, okay?"
"Okay."
I stand there and hold him for minutes after that. I don't let him go until he practically pries me off of him.
"Sorry," I say, "I got a bit carried away."
"Don't apologise, I was just having trouble breathing."
I let out a chuckle and he kisses me. Suddenly Guy's phone buzzes.
He takes a look, "How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
He shows me the notification, it says it's from me.
I'm confused, "I left my phone at home."
Guy opens the message and reads it aloud, "Tell James to meet me outside."
"It's my mum."
"How does she know where you are?"
My heart begins to beat faster, "She must have seen our messages... can I see that?"
Guy hands me his phone and I search the word 'party.'
I find a message from Guy sending me this address. I considered driving myself here before he offered to take me. This must be why my mum knows where I am, but that's not what I'm concerned about.
I scroll down from that message and see exactly what I was scared of:
Guy: I have 2 go b4 Spencer kills me haha, goodnight <3
Me: Goodnight <3
The hearts.
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.
"What is it?"
I show him the message.
He doesn't seem to understand, so I spell it out for him, "My mum doesn't know that I'm gay. Well she didn't, I think she does now."
Guy takes his phone back from me, "You searched a word, she might have too. Chances are she didn't see those messages."
"How would she know what to search? I think she saw it."
I look down to see that my hands are shaking, I'm so terrified. I didn't want my mum to find out like this. I can't help but feel it won't go as well as it did with my dad.
Guy takes my hands in his, "I'll go with you. I'm sure you'll be fine."
"And if I'm not?"
I finally look into his eyes to see the same fear in them as I have in mine.
"We'll figure it out."
I take a large gulp and we head out of the room.
When we get to the car park my mum is waiting there, and she looks furious.
"James!" she exclaims, "What has gotten into you?"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here."
"It's not just that. I saw the messages."
Shit.
She continues, "James, this isn't natural."
Suddenly I'm as furious as she is, "You don't know what you are talking about."
"I think I do. Don't worry, I'm sure this is just a phase you are going through."
I feel like I've been stabbed by her words and I can't help but fight back.
"A phase? You mean like your marriage?"
I can't believe I said that. I usually don't talk back to anyone, especially not my parents. I can't help but feel like it was justified though, and for some reason it felt good.
My mother looks shocked, "That's it, I'm taking you home."
She opens the car door before adding, "Say goodbye to your boyfriend, you won't be seeing him again."
I turn to Guy to see that like me, is holding back tears.
"Don't listen to her James, we'll work this out, okay?"
"Okay," I reply, not quite sure if I believe it.
I've never seen my mum react this way to anything before. I can tell she is dead serious.
"Goodbye," says Guy, a tear spilling down his cheek.
"Goodbye," I repeat, feeling a tear run down my face as well.
I get in the car and we drive off. I look back to see Guy still watching us.
I want to believe that everything will be okay. But right now I don't know what to believe.