JENNIE
I have been stubborn.. And that would cause Ella's life.. What happened at the motel that night still hunts me.. The girl laying there, blood everywhere.. I never saw anything like that before.. And then I realized something that I should have earlier.. That place wasn't the right place to raise a child..
Thank God Jisoo was there for one more time.. I thought that she left me.. I thought that we were over. But we weren't. She was still here.. When she came and I saw her car I felt safer only by looking at her. She was becoming very fast my knight in shine armor..
The way back home I was holding Ella in my arms.. It was night and I don't think that she realized what happened.. I don't even remember how fast I packed our things and left that awful place.. A place I shouldn't have come back..
When we arrived home Jisoo took Ella in her arms and we put her immediately back to bed.. We stayed there till she would fall asleep.. I was cursing myself for what I did to my child.. Something like that could happen to us.. I am glad that I at least had someone like Jisoo..
I felt Jisoo's hand on mine guiding me back in the living room.. I wanted to hug her and cry on her shoulder.. I needed to tell her everything that I had inside me..
"I am sorry Jisoo.. For not listening to you.. You were right.. Oh God.. It could be us tonight.. It could be Ella Jisoo." I said while crying.. I needed to cry and let everything out.
"Ssshh.. thank God it wasn't you.. Now you are safe. Okay? You are going to stay here and I don't want to hear anything about it.. You heard me? Do you know that I lost the world from my feet? Do you know that I thought you were hurt?" I felt her voice breaking..
"Although you broke up with me?"
"What?"
"I saw the note. And you didn't pick up your phone."
"I left my phone here and I didn't break up with you. Why you say that?"
"I thought that you did.. I didn't know what to think.."
"Let's forget it.. Okay? What matters the most is that you and Ella are safe and far away from that sit hole.."
"Thank you.. For being here."
"I never left Jennie.."
It's true.. She never left.. I did..
We stayed there, with Jisoo holding me.. It's strange how close she made me feel every time she had her arms around me. When I was starting to feel my eyes close it was already 3am. She helped me to stand up, she gave me a kiss on my lips and she went inside her room.. I thought that she was mad at me but then I saw her coming out again with clean clothes..
"You need to relax.. Take a hot shower and come find me in our room." I couldn't help but smile.. She called my up until now room, ours.. I didn't know what I did to deserve a woman like her.. She was amazing and I was an idiot making assumptions of her and us.
I took my time inside the shower. I really needed that. Feeling the hot water on my skin it was a catharsis. I was letting my past behind and I was starting to live a present and hopefully a future with Jisoo.. Who knows?
When I finished I found her waiting for me on her side with the light turned on.. She looked at me and I felt my knees shaking.. I got under the covers and turned my face so I could look at her.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being here."
"I want to be here Jennie. Don't forget that. And don't you ever do something like that again. Okay? You scared the whole crap out of me." I know it wasn't the time to make jokes but the situation was already bad and we needed to let go.
"How scared exactly? You thought you lost me?" I said while kissing her collarbone.. That was how closed we were right now..
"Jeeennn.. it's not the time.."
"It's not the time about what? I am not doing anything." I said and I started to caress her back.. I wasn't doing anything.. I just wanted to feel her..
"Yes, you do.. Please close your eyes.. We have to get up early and you had an awful night. Give me a kiss and say goodnight."
"Goodnight Jisoo."
"Goodnight baby." She said and kissed me on my lips.. Something I think I will never get tired..
I woke up by her alarm.. When I checked what time it was it was already 6am.. Jisoo tried to get up but I didn't let her..
"Noooo.. Stay.. Cold."
"Jennie, I have to get up.. I have to go to work."
"Why?"
"Because we need the money and I want my girls to have everything." she said and kissed me.. She is a sweet talker.. But I didn't want to let her go..
"But I want you here.." she was already up wearing her robe and she was already on my side kissing my lips once again..
"You're acting like a child.. Get up baby.. We have to wake up Ella and get ready."
"But I don't have to go to work till tomorrow."
"But Ella and I have to go to our school and work baby.. So stop pouting."
It was a lost cause. When Jisoo was saying something it was final.. Even if I was all sexy with my short shorts and wife beater..
I found her at the kitchen making pancakes.. My favorite breakfast.. When I sat on the chair she handed me my coffee and a plate with two pancakes.. I loved that woman..
"Why I had to wake up early? Eh?"
"Because you have to say goodmorning to your daughter and you have to take her at her school also."
"Why can't you?"
"Because I have to be at work at 7.30."
"Why so early?"
"We have a new case and till we have all the facts we need to be there as much as possible.."
"That means you won't be home early tonight?"
"Probably not baby.."
"I am pouting right now."
"I know.. Please don't do that.. It's not fair to me. Okay?"
"I am not making any promises."
"Ok.. I am going to wake up Ella my pouty girl." ok.. It's final.. I am so in love with this girl..
Fifteen minutes later Ella was awake, somehow, because the Kim girls love their sleep way too much..
"Jisoo.. you made pancakes?"
"Yes, baby girl.. I made you your favorite.. Chocolate pancakes for you."
"Mommy?"
"Yes, princess?"
"I don't want us to go back there. I want to stay here with Jisoo please." when she said that my heart broke.. I realized how she was feeling and I cursed my self once again for what I put her through..
"No, princess. We will not go back there.. It will be Jisoo, me and you. Okay?"
"Okay."
It felt right and for once I put aside my stubbornness.. For once I let someone to help me because I didn't have to think only myself but my daughter too.. And she was my everything..
Jisoo kissed both of us.. Me of course with a very tenderly kiss on my lips and Ella on her cheek. She gave me money for the taxi and when I was ready to complain she silenced me with a kiss.. Well.. If it was for her to kiss me every time I would complain every day.. We said our goodmornings and begun our day..
I wouldn't go to work till tomorrow.. I was used to smell the coffee every day and now I would be back again.. The difference though was that now I had someone to come back.. I had a home.. And not only a safe home.. Home to me was the people inside.. Not only the walls that surrounded it.. For me, Jisoo and Ella was my home..
When I left Ella and got back home I had nothing to do actually.. So I was all alone doing absolutely nothing.. I decided to turn on the tv and see what was on at 10am in the morning.. I changed channels after channels till I stopped to something that held my attention..
'A girl was found dead at Harrison's Motel.. Sources say that the girl was fighting with a man during morning times.. Up until now we don't have the girl's name.. She was founded dead with a bullet on her head.. They still search for the man who killed her..'
The guy is still out there.. He killed someone and he is still out there.. Thank God that we are here and not there. I changed the channel right away..
Jisoo's house was near to a park.. I couldn't stay inside the house.. I needed to clear my mind.. I walked till I found a bench to sit.. It was beautiful.. Although it was a cold day the weather was clear. People were running, mothers were playing with their kids.. It felt nice.. I felt my phone buzzing and it was Jisoo.. I smiled immediately..
"Hey gorgeous."
"Jennie, where the fuck are you?" Why she was swearing and why she was angry?
"I am at the park. What's wrong?"
"I called and called at the house and you didn't pick it up. Do you know how scared I was?"
"But why baby?"
"I saw the news and they said about what happened yesterday.. I thought.. I thought that something happened."
"Baby, I am okay. He don't know me.. I saw the news too and I just wanted to come here.. Sorry for scaring you.."
"It's fine.. I am sorry for swearing."
"Understandable."
"So how are you?"
"I am okay. How is work?"
"Awful.. I am just taking a break."
"What time are you going to be home?"
"Don't know. I guess I am going to be late."
"I am going to wait for you."
"Don't stay up waiting for me."
"I would wait forever for you." she didn't say anything but I could still feel her breathing on the line.. "Soo.. see you tonight baby." I wanted to say I love you but I didn't know if it was too soon..
"Yes, see you tonight Jennie.."
I sat there for a couple more minutes till it was time for me to go and pick up Ella for school.. Today I would cook for us.. It would be new but it wasn't that I didn't know how to cook.. I just didn't have the right place to do that..
At 3pm I got a taxi again and went to Ella's school.. I missed when me and Jisoo were going together to pick her up.. And I remember Ella's smile every time that we were together.. We were a family.. And I liked it..
"Hey mommy."
"Hey baby girl. How was your day?"
"It was good. Eddy is having a party on Saturday and I am invited."
"Hmm.. I see.. Your boyfriend invited you."
"Mommy.. he is not my boyfriend." she said while whispering. I think that she didn't want for the taxi driver to hear us although I could see him smiling from the mirror
"Whatever you say little lady"
"So.. Can I go?"
"I guess.. Do you have the invitation?"
"Here."
"I am going to ask Jisoo if she wants to come."
"She will say yes, of course.. She can't say no to you."
"And why you are saying that?"
"Because of the way she looks at you. Mommy you are silly if you don't know that already."
"I guess I know."
"It's the same with how you look at her too."
"You think?"
"I am sure."
It was final. My kid was very smart for her own good..
Back home and Ella was in the bathroom washing her hands while I was preparing our lunch.. I just wish Jisoo was here too so we could all eat together.. I was cooking fried chicken with vegetables and rice.. Not difficult to prepare..
Ella was watching tv in the living room when I heard the buzzer on our apartment. It wasn't Jisoo of course because she had keys..
"Hello?" no answer.. instead I heard the buzzer again.. "Hello?"
"Jisoo open the door" it was a woman's voice and she seemed to know who Jisoo was..
"Jisoo it's not here right now. She is at work."
"Open the door please."
"I am sorry Mrs."
"Kim. Nara Kim."