Present
The sun shines through the curtain-less window, making me groan and cover my eyes with my forearm. Stirring in the bed allows the faint smell of his scent to fill my nose, instantly making me sit up.
I run my hands through my hair as I pull the black sheets further up to cover myself. I bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep myself from gagging as I look over at his cream tone body sleeping contently beside me.
I close my eyes, trying to relax myself before searching the floor for my clothes. Glancing over at him, I drop the sheets and hastily stumble to my scattered clothes.
I snap my head towards the bed as he stirs again, silently praying that he doesn't wake before I'm gone. With slow movements, I slip the dress on while holding my underwear and shoes in my left hand.
I tip toe towards the door, cringing ever so slightly as the wooden floor beneath me creaks. I don't hear anything, too scared to turn around, so I open the door as quietly as I can. "Stop," his groggily voice croaks from the bed, causing my breath to hitch as I stand frozen in the doorway. "Come here."
I breath in heavily before turning on my heel, slowly pacing myself towards him. His hair is tussled as he sits up in the bed, removing the sheets from his lap. Now standing beside the bed, he happily shows off his naked frame as I keep my eyes locked on the wall behind him.
"Where are my. . . ah," He mutters to himself while bending down to grab his boxers. Somewhat clothed, he stretches his hand out, taking mine in his, before gently pulling closer. "Where are you going?"
I gulp and push the bile rising in my throat down. "I-I have somewhere to be this morning." I slightly stutter as his lips graze my earlobe.
"Mhmm," he murmurs while sucking on the thin skin of my neck. I squirm and gently push back, causing him to pause and slowly retract his lips. He eyes me incredulously, a single brow raised in agitation. "Is there a problem?"
"No, Aiden, I really just have to go. It's an appointment." I explain as my body internally shakes with nervous flutters.
I know he won't hit me or anything like that, but I need something from him, and I can't afford to piss him off before he hands it to me. Aiden looks me up and down, his lips pressed in a hard line, before rolling his eyes and stalking towards the dresser. He pulls out a couple of bills, eyeing me as he stuffs the money in my palm.
He holds my gaze for a minute, his hand still in mine, before he walks towards the bathroom. "I want you back here tonight."
My brows furrow, my hand squeezing the money tightly as I turn in his direction. "Tonight?"
"Yes, Cameron. Is that a problem?" He asks with piercing his eyes, his arms folded over his chest as he leans against the door frame. I shake my head, silently complying to his request, before he licks his lips and walks into the bathroom.
After hearing the door click shut, I sigh and hurriedly walk into the living room, simultaneously stepping into my black panties. Clutching my heels to my chest, I exit his lavish apartment. The soft carpet of the hallway cushion my feet as I make my way over to the elevator, the silver rims contrasting with the sleek gray color of the doors. Stepping in, I try and clear my mind of the life I've been handed, utterly failing as waves of guilt and regret wash over me.
The bell chimes as the doors slide open, the lobby presumably clear except for the desk clerk. At least I won't have to face anyone while looking like this.
"Good morning, Thomas." I greet wearily while walking towards the revolving doors of the lavish apartment complex.
"Good morning, Miss Cameron."
I've been here a lot, and to say Thomas doesn't know what I'm hear for all those nights would probably be a complete lie. However, he's never looked or had any ill intent towards me. If anything, he seems chipper to see me, despite the shame I feel every time I leave.
I wave his way before a groan escapes me, my fingers pinching the bridge of my nose as I realizing my things are still upstairs. I tilt my head back with closed eyes as I walk back towards the elevator.
"Everything alright?" He asks.
"Yes, thank you. I just forgot my purse."
Thomas nods, giving me a sympathetic smile as I push the button and wait. Stepping back out onto the third floor, I quickly make my way towards his apartment. My mouth gapes slightly as I eye my small purse and phone sprawled outside his door.
"Gee, thanks." I mumble sarcastically to myself as I pick up my belongings, my eyes narrowing at his door.
~*~
"Good morning." I say as Maria opens the door to her office, which I've come quite fond off in the past twenty four hours.
Although it could just be that fact I've had a shitty morning.
I shift uncomfortably as she eyes my dress and shoe less feet. She steps to the side, granting me space to walk in as she sips at her mug. "Good morning. How was your night?"
How was my night? Pretty agonizing, how was yours?
"It was, um, fine. But h-here's the money," I quickly say while passing the crinkly dollars into her small, manicured palms. Unfolding the bills, a wave of shook and concern flashed over her face. "Is it okay?"
She nods her head while walking over to the sleek mahogany in the back of her office. "No, no, you're good sweetie. . . its just this covers sessions for the entire month, and then some." She explains while placing it on her desk.
"Oh, well I just thought why not pay it all upfront," I lie while twiddling my thumbs in my lap.
I wasn't sure how much Aiden gave me, too busy to just get out of there. Most of it is going towards paying for these sessions anyways. I position myself in the same spot on the couch as yesterday, discreetly pulling the thin fabric of the dress as far down as possible.
"Five hundred dollars up front? Cameron, you seem rather young, I know you could be doing something better with some of this money."
The room falls silent as hang my head low and continue playing with my fingers. Maria sighs lightly before walking over and taking a seat in front of me.
"I'm sorry," she began, placing the palm of her hand on my knee. "I didn't mean to overstep my boundaries."
"It's fine," I mumble while lifting my head back up. She gives a small nod before removing her hand and opening her notepad. "What time is it?"
"Nine thirty-six," she replies as she taps the small screen of the watch clinging around her wrist. She walks back over towards her desk to turn the recording on before taking a seat again. "Okay, so yesterday we got to. . ."
"The first day of school." I reply, the distant memory feeling very recent as I recall the events of my past.
"Right. Well, just start whenever you feel."
I nod my head while grabbing my phone. "Can I make a quick call?"
She nods before adverting her attention back to the notepad, using the spare time to also look for something on her desk.
I press my fingers to the side buttons of my phone, waiting for it to power on. I sigh heavily as the screen continues to stay black. I toss it beside me and rub my palms against my thighs, thoughts of what Adeline must be thinking of my where-a-bouts making me anxious.
"Maria?" I quietly ask, my voice barely filling the air of the spacious room. She turns towards me immediately while taking her reading glasses off. "Could I use your phone? Mine died."
"Sure," she says while motioning towards the small black machine at the opposite end of her desk. "Take your time."
I make my way barefoot across the room, the morning sun shining through the tall glass windows warming my exposed lower half.
The phone is cold against my ear as I turn the box around to better punch the numbers. The line clicks after the second ring, my hair falling over my shoulders as if it was giving me a form of privacy.
"Hello?" Adeline sighs into the phone, her breathing uneven as if she's been quickly moving around.
"Hey, its me."
Everything's silent other than the sound of Maria shuffling papers behind me. I pull the phone back to make sure she's still on the line while anxiously winding my finger around the connecting cord.
"Cameron? What the hell! When did you leave? You had me going crazy around here." She whispers into the phone as I hear a door shut on her end.
I gnaw on my knuckle while looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I decided to go for a walk this morning and my phone must've not charged last night. Then I just decided to walk the rest of the way to my appointment."
Liar.
Please don't ask any follow up questions.
"Okay, just. . . I don't know leave a note or something." She says with a sigh as I hear the door open again. "-Okay, Lily, just give me a minute. . . go find grandma, okay? I'll be right there baby."
"Go, Lily needs you. I just wanted to update you. I'll see you later." I say while looking over my shoulder at Maria, who was patiently sitting back down in her chair.
"Do you want me to pick you up?" She asks, making me look down at my attire. I frantically shake my head as if she can see me while running a hand through my hair.
"No, no, I'll be fine. I'll see you soon, bye."
I set the phone back in place before she replies, swiftly making my way back over to couch. Maria smiles up at me as if she didn't hear any of my conversation.
That or she simply doesn't care.
"Sorry about that," I murmur while wrapping my arms around the throw pillow. Looking into her eyes, I can tell she wants to say something, but she keeps quiet while opening the notepad.
"Boyfriend?" She sweetly inquires while tucking a strand of fallen hair behind her ear, the deep black color contrasting nicely with her lightly tan skin.
"Oh, no, no," I say with a faint laugh, making her mouth 'sorry'. I shake my head back and forth while pulling the dress down. "Yeah, I don't have one."
She eyes the dress before locking on my eyes, subtly clearing her throat. "Well, I don't see why not. You're a lovely girl, Cameron."
"Thank you." I shyly mumble out while looking at my shoeless feet. Out my peripheral, I see Maria lift her arm and look over the gold watch clasped around her wrist once more.
"Already ten," she says more to herself, clearly in shock. "Okay," she begins with a small laugh, "We're actually going to get started."
I simply nod as she clicks her pen and scribbles something down. "Can you tell me a little bit about each person? Just to get a feel for who they were?"
"Hmm?" I question while finally making eye contact with her. "You mean, like, describe them or something?"
"Yes, exactly. Just so as you progress I'll have a better sense of who they were, and ultimately who you were. We've already been through the twins, a little of Adeline, and Grayson, but. . . is that okay?" She pauses at the end, undoubtedly noticing my hesitation and sudden uneasiness.
"Yes," I say while frantically nodding my head up and down. "Sorry, I don't mean to look so-"
"Hey, it's perfectly normal. There's no rush here, so let me know how you feel about any and everything." She reassures while tapping the pen lightly against her thigh.
"Okay."
"Okay," she smiles. "How about we start with Da-"
"No." I say rather loudly, but thankfully, not yelling. She looks at me with heartfelt eyes as I push back the tears trying to surface in my eyes. I'm just not ready to talk about him yet. "Sorry. How um. . . how about Tyler?"
"Sure. Tell me anything about him."
"Tyler was easily the funniest friend. He wasn't adamant on school or college until senior year and he played sports, like, all the time."
I dab under my eye while trying to remember the important things from four years ago. I wait for her to click the pen to write something, but she never does. Her emerald eyes are locked on mine intently, no sign of her interrupting anytime soon.
"He had amazing skin, like, truly amazing, because he never had a breakout. He had beautiful chocolate skin and rich black hair that he kept faded on the sides with waves." I let out a small laugh as I think more about him. "He and Hayden had the best friendship I've ever seen in my entire life. They were honestly inseparable. . ."
I trail off as the tears trail down my cheek. Hayden was extremely close with Damon, too, but I can't bring myself to say that.
They were inseparable. I just had to break everyone apart.
More tears stream out as I let my subconscious guilt me from the inside. I cover my face with both palms, "I'm sorry."
I feel the couch cushion shift beside me, a hand soon rubbing circle on my shoulders. The silence engulfs us, dismissing the sound of my cries. I drop my hands and rub them down my thighs, my eyes undoubtedly red and puffy.
"It's okay, Cameron, nothing is your fault." Maria tries to sooth while handing me a tissue. Her words are eerie, considering I didn't blame myself out loud. At least I don't think so.
Regardless, everything is my fault.
"I'm sorry. . . I-I'm ready now."
"Are you sure? We can wait a little longer if need be."
I shake my head while balling the tissue in my hands. "I'm okay. This is what therapy's about right?" I say with a fake laugh, "Crying your emotions out."