December 23, 2009
11:01 pm
“Why don’t you settle and get ready for dinner? Your uncles will come in a couple of hours, Diana,” Clara suggested closing the door behind us.
The house was flooded with a delicious smell of cooking. I fist bump Matthew and Skander, who were watching a movie in the living room. Carrying my backpack I went up the stairs behind Diana. We entered her room and she closed and locked the door. I left my backpack on the floor and took off my jacket.
“What about a shower?” Diana asked me thrusting her small hands under my shirt. Her warm skin against mine made me shiver.
He slipped his hands from my chest up to the waistband of my pants. I hugged her around the waist and I pressed my lips lightly against his.
“Okay,” I accepted. She smiled and took off my shirt.
An hour later, Diana and I were sitting in one of the armchairs in the living room while her uncles, who had just arrived, settle in the room. Diana was sitting next to me wearing an elegant black dress, with her perfectly straightened hair, black heels with red platform and the delicate necklace I had given her resting on her chest. I had opted for something simpler. Black jeans accompanied by sneakers and a long sleeve button up shirt.
She stood up to greet their family members, as I greeted them uncomfortably shaking their hands. Everyone looked at me from head to toe and I could almost hear their minds criticizing me when they noticed my tattoos below the white shirt. Diana held my hand, proud and they also scolded at her for doing that.
We all sat in the room, Skander and Matthew disappeared along with Diana’s younger cousins, and Clara informed us that dinner would be ready soon. Diana didn't let go my hand a single second.
I stood in silence while they all were part of the conversation. I had never cared what others would think of me, but being sitting there, surrounded by the family of my girlfriend while they looked at me, it made me want to know that was crossing by their minds. But there was a look that stood out above the others. A look that watched me covertly, but firmly. Felicity’s gaze, who wasn’t Diana’s cousin, but rather, the daughter of Clara's best friend. A blond girl with green eyes that reflected her firm, flirty character, and that she maybe was too self-confident.
She was wearing a red dress that fit her body. Eyes outlined with black and lips painted passion red. I tried not to look at it during those minutes, but her stare made me feel uncomfortable.
A few minutes later Clara told us that dinner was served.
We settled on the dining table where a light soup was expecting us as a starter of what was a great dinner. At the beginning all flowed normally, adults were engaged in their talk while Diana cousins were talking about I don’t know what concert. Diana and I were talking in a low voice.
“We should repeat that date,” she suggested.
“Oh, Yes. And we should invite your cousins,” I suggested in jest and she got it because she let out a giggle that drew the attention of all to us.
One of the uncles of Diana cleared throat and stared at me. He probably expected me to lower my eyes, embarrassed, but I did the opposite. I held his the gaze to the point of making him feel uncomfortable.
“Well, well. I think it's time to meet the new kid,” Clara’s best friend spoke. “Tell me how you met.”
Felicity smiled at me with malice and I gave a small sip to my cup full of water before speaking.
“Well we are going to the same school and have many lectures together. In addition, Audrey is my best friend and my neighbor. And, well, I think that things just happened,” I dedicated a small smile to my favorite girl and she returned the smile to me.
“Well, I think that the destiny has everything perfectly calculated,” said Felicity before taking a sip of the glass opposite to her.
“Tell us more about you, sweetheart. Did you already think you're going to study at Uni?” one of Diana’s aunts asked me, trying to include me in the conversation.
The truth is that I cannot complain, although the beginning of the dinner was a bit uncomfortable, at the end everything turned out better than I expected. I know that I could not delete all the prejudices that they had formed on me, but something is better than nothing.
Once the dinner ended Diana commented me in a low voice that she was tired so we retired to her room. I closed the door and she sat on the edge of the bed. She threw the heels into one of the corners and sighed.
“Those are the most uncomfortable heels that I have.”
“So, why do you wear them?” I removed my tie.
“They are cute... Would you mind helping me?”
She stood in front of me giving me her back. I smiled satisfied and pulled down the zipper of her black dress, stroking her back with the tips of my fingers in the process. I took her hair, putting it on her left shoulder and gave a soft Kiss at the base of her neck. She stripped the dress and pulled out one of my t-shirts in my backpack. She put on the first pajamas pants that she found in her closet.
She hung from my neck, smiling at me while tip-toeing to reach me.
“I love you.”
“I love you more, Doll,” I gave her a kiss on the forehead while tucking her under the sheets, making sure she was comfortable.
We were both lying, nestled under the blankets for protection against the cold December. We talked quietly about things that certainly seem stupid or meaningless to many people, but which are important for us.
Diana fell asleep in my arms; I simply looked at the moon through the large window occupying the entire wall opposite the bed. The house was in complete silence. The only thing that could be heard was the soft breathing of the girl next to me. My girl.
A couple of minutes later I went down stairs to the kitchen to take a little bit of water. I took a glass and filled it with tap water. I relied on the countertop while I felt how water down my throat, cooling me.
The kitchen door opened and Felicity came into the kitchen using a short white silk nightgown. She smiles when she saw me and I just served me another glass of water.
“Would you mind?” she asked holding out a glass. I served her water and she smiled at me.
She sat in one of the seats of the kitchen island, crossing the left leg over the right. And to be honest, if that had happened a couple of months before I surely would have been I who made the first move. But that phase of my life was already over and I do not want to ruin things with Diana. So I left my glass in the sink and went up to the room without mentioning a word.
Hanna comes crying to her grandfather's room, closing the door behind her.
“Hanna! But what has happened?” James opens his arms for her and Hanna sits crying.
“Grandfather... I can't stand it. It is killing me, it is killing me!”
“Okay, calm down. Don't get hysterical; that you're not going to solve anything. What happened?”
“Grandfather, you know that you're like my best friend and that is why I have you so much confidence. But I'm so embarrassed.”
“Hanna, we have spoken very shameful things before. Your parents would kill me if they knew the content of the journal in your hands. And after all that, are you going to tell me that you feel ashamed with me?”
Hanna breathes deeply, trying to calm down.
“It is that I've done everything wrong. Everyone warned me and I still did it...”
“What are you talking about?”
“Josh! I am in the relationship more toxic and self-defeating that has existed. God, I'm so repentant about everything,” she dries the tears with the sleeve of her jacket. “I was so stupid. God, Grandpa. Josh cheated on me and the worst is that it wasn't just once. He was looking at my idiot face all this time. How I could be so stupid! And the other times that I discovered him I forgave him and now I come to find that from the beginning he has been laughing behind my back.”
James hugs her strongly and stroking the blonde hair of his granddaughter.
“And why don’t you leave him? No one deserves your tears.”
“I-I can’t d-do that,” she sobs.
“Explain.”
“Well, you know I did many things with him, if you know what I mean. And the truth is that I don't want to break up with Josh because I fear that others think I'm a damn whore as the other girls in the school.”
“Do you know that you're being irrational and silly? I think that's the worst reason to stay with someone. Others do not give you anything; you do not have to account to them. You and the people who love you to know what happens and you should only care what they think. I don't want you to finish lost in your life for something that you can boot from root. More than a friend I am your grandfather and I worry for you. Why don't you call Josh and agree a time to talk? You have to face your problems with your head held high so they see what actually happens.”
Hanna left the diary in the bedside table and dried her tears. She sighs and pulls out the mobile of her bag. Wait a few seconds until he answers the call.
“Josh? We need to talk...”
James sees Hanna, leaving the room and smiles nostalgically.
December 24, 2009
5:38 p.m.
It seems that today, rather yesterday, was a never ending day. Christmas is more exhausting than I thought it would be. First thing in the morning Diana made me call my father to wish him a happy day. We had a discussion about this before I gave up calling my father.
Then during the breakfast everyone seemed anxious because midnight came and I was there sitting at the table playing with my breakfast because I hadn’t celebrated Christmas since ten years ago and I do not understand anything they said or their emotion. Diana tried to encourage me and I smiled to not make her feel bad. I don't need more problems than I already have.
I had a telephone session with psychologist and the truth is I don't even understand a shit what he does for me because I have not seen any difference. I think that from now on I am not going to go. Why waste my time?
All morning was quiet, until Felicity fucked it all.
After talking to the psychologist I was upset and went out into the garden to not annoy anyone with my bad mood. I spent a long time looking at the grey sky and the snow covered trees. Watching my breath vapor mixing with hot air. I heard snow rustling behind me and smiled feeling Diana arms encircle my waist with her small arms. I looked down and gasped to see red painted fingernails.
I moved away suddenly, and I turned to see Felicity smiling at me and with a dangerous look in her green eyes.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Oh, please. You don't pretend to be innocent, that you were more than happy a few minutes ago,” she snapped annoyed, crossing her arms.
“I was happy because I thought it was my girlfriend who was embracing me. Could you stop acting like that so close to me, it is irritating?”
“Can’t you resist the temptation?”
“Don't worry, I'm not interested in sluts,” I commented looking her in the eyes.
“Yes, that already I realized,” she smiled; shifting her weight to her right leg.
“What do you mean?”
“We all here know the real reason why Diana and Nick broke. We all know that Diana didn’t supplied Nick’s needs... “
“Stop! First, none of this is true and second I remember you that it is my girlfriend who you're talking about.”
She answered nothing. I was furious, definitely don’t like when they speak thus of Diana. Just when I was about to turn around and leave to search my girlfriend, Felicity took me by the face and tried to kiss me.
I pushed her and she fell directly into the snow, her head making a dry noise when it hit the ground. She looked at me angry and I took a menacing step towards her.
“You are crazy.”
“Hey! What's going on?” Diana took me by the shoulders when I stormed in. She drew back the hair from my forehead and stroked my cheek.
“Nothing. It's just that... Never mind.”
Diana frowned but said nothing.
“Would you like to come with us to the park? We are going to take all the children because they are somewhat agitated.”
“Of course.”
I got my jacket and with her cousins we went out to the cold afternoon. We walked down the street, with houses full of lights. Her smaller cousins and siblings were in front of us while one of her cousins told a bad joke.
“Look who we have here.”
Before us there was a group of guys occupying one of the games. I narrowed my eyes when I recognized several, one of them was Nick. The first thing I did was taking Diana by the waist and pretending that we hadn’t heard them.
“Ladies,” one of them greeted Diana’s cousins while another prevented us the passage.
“Diana, long time no see. Are you still being just as stupid?”
“Careful with what you say,” Diana’s cousin warned.
“I'm not saying anything we don't know.”
“I remember that it’s my girlfriend who you are talking about. What your mother didn’t teach you how to treat women? Oh, true, she was too busy banging with her bodyguard.”
“Don't you dare.”
“Don't mess in the issues that are not yours. Hey, Nick! Are you going to let your friends intrude?”
Nick said nothing. He looked at Diana for a few seconds and then returned the gaze to the floor.
“Yes, that was what I thought,” holding Diana tightly by the waist I opened my passage between the guys, letting her cousins to walk before us.
About half an hour ago Diana and I went up to his room. After everything that happened, we both were tired. We arranged the gifts on her desk and Diana was quick to put on the pajamas and getting to bed. I bit my lower lip without knowing what to do. I had her gift in my backpack.
“What’s the matter?” She asked me when she noticed that I still hadn’t gotten to bed with her.
“I... I you bought a gift.”
She looked at me surprised for a second.
“I also have something for you,” she leaned and took out a book. I took the small box of my backpack. I sat on the edge of the bed and she smiled at me.
She handed me the book, and I put the box in her hands.
“Is a photo album of all that we have done together,” she explained to me as I passed pages filled with photos, small notes and decorated with little things like movie tickets and stuff like that.
“The last pages are empty.”
“Yes, I know. They are so that we can continue to add photos.”
We stayed a few minutes in silence. Diana looked at the box in his hands and smiling opened it.
“Oh, Niall...”
“I know is not expensive as the one that your uncles gave you...”
“Shut up, Niall. It is beautiful.”
Diana pulled the bracelet of the box and immediately put it.
“Merry Christmas,” she hugged me.
“Merry Christmas.” I sighed and kissed her forehead.
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