WILL
It's 4 am on Friday and I jolt up with lots of thoughts in my mind.
Is it possible that I'm gay? I mean...I know what it is...and I know that people get a lot of hate because of it...but...I never thought I would be. That could explain why I can't stop thinking about Mike, and why I am jealous of him and El...
I-I think I'm g-gay...
I need to tell someone. Jonathan! He would understand...I-I mean...he likes Nancy...but...he wouldn't be harsh about it...
I get out of bed and walk over to Jonathan's room.
*Knock, knock* I knock on his door.
"Jonathan?" I ask.
"Come in..." Jonathan said. I opened his door and walked in.
"Why are you awake at 4 am on a school day?" Jonathan asked.
"Are you okay Will? Is something wrong?" Jonathan asked as I sat down on his bed. Jonathan turned around from facing his desk.
"I-I don't know...I just feel...a little nervous..." I say, trying not to break down.
"What? Why are you nervous?" Jonathan asked.
"I-I think I'm gay..." I say without thinking.
"What makes you think that? Do you like a boy?" Jonathan asks.
"I have a crush on a certain boy...but he's with someone else..." I say with a tear falling down my cheek.
"Is it Mike? It's Mike isn't it?" Jonathan said.
"H-How did you k-know?" I ask worriedly.
"I'm not blind Will. I saw how he followed you into the bathroom at the Snowball. I noticed how you left the bathroom blushing. I saw you staring at him for the rest of the night. Besides...you sometimes speak your mind when you're alone." Jonathan said. I'm so embarrassed.
"O-Oh..." I said.
"What's wrong? Did you think I would hate you for it? Cause I don't. I'm happy if you're happy. And If your happy being gay...then I accept that." Jonathan said smiling. He hugged me.
"Thanks for understanding..." I said smiling.
"Have you told mom? Or am I the first person you confided in?" Jonathan asked.
"I-I...I was planning to tell her after I told you..." I said.
"How about I do it with you? That way if she goes berserk...which I don't think she will, I can make sure she doesn't try and kill you..." Jonathan asked.
"That would be very helpful. Thanks..." I said.
We both got up and went to the kitchen.
"Mom? Will wants to tell you something..." Jonathan said getting mom's attention.
"What are you boys doing up at 4:10 am on a school day?" My mom asked.
"Neither of us could sleep," I said.
"Anyway...yes?" My mom looked directly at me.
I gave Jonathan a nervous look. He smiled, reassuring me that it would be ok.
"I-I'm g-gay," I said, nervous about how she was gonna react.
"I know." my mom said with a reassuring look.
"W-What? How did you-" I was cut off.
"-How did I know? These walls aren't soundproof. I heard you and Jonathan talking about it. I also know that you have a little crush on Mike. Don't worry. I'm not going to go all berserk on you. I'm not that mean." My mom said smiling.
"I-I just--whenever I see him...I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart starts racing and I get all flustered...but seeing him with El...it makes me jealous. I just wish...that I was in El's position. He loves her so much...and he will probably never know that I love him. I haven't stopped thinking about him since...since the snowball. He hugged me and I felt safe in his arms. I always think about him. He's the only thing I think about. It just makes me so upset that I can't be with him. He probably isn't even gay." I said letting all my feelings out.
"Will...I understand your feelings, but what if Mike is gay and he does like you back? You not telling him only means you're denying that likes you." My mom said hugging me.
"Mike would never like me. I'm his best friend and nothing more. And that's never gonna change..." I said, getting up and walking back into my room and going back to bed.
MIKE
I woke up at 4:10 am for some reason and I wanted to talk to Will since I haven't had the chance to since we talked after the snowball.
I turned on my supercom and changed the channel.
"Wil--" I said before I heard Will's voice and another person's voice.
"I-I'm g-gay," I heard Will say.
"I know," Joyce said.
"W-What? How did you-" I heard Will keep talking.
"-How did I know? These walls aren't soundproof. I heard you and Jonathan talking about it. I also know that you have a little crush on Mike. Don't worry. I'm not going to go all berserk on you. I'm not that mean." Joyce said.
"I-I just--whenever I see him...I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart starts racing and I get all flustered...but seeing him with El...it makes me jealous. I just wish...that I was in El's position. He loves her so much...and he will probably never know that I love him. I haven't stopped thinking about him since...since the snowball. He hugged me and I felt safe in his arms. I always think about him. He's the only thing I think about. It just makes me so upset that I can't be with him. He probably isn't even gay."
Will is gay? and he likes me? I was a bit surprised, but I kept listening.
"Will...I understand your feelings, but what if Mike is gay and he does like you back? You not telling him only means you're denying that likes you." Joyce said.
He must have told Jonathan and Joyce...
"Mike would never like me. I'm his best friend and nothing more. And that's never gonna change..." I heard Will say before the channel went silent.
I noticed that Will kept staring at me, but I never thought he liked me. Although that could explain why he stopped crying as soon as I hugged him.
I turned off my supercom and put it down.
Will is right...I don't like him...I think and I'm not gay...I think? I can't...can I? Stop it Mike...your being ridiculous...
I went back to bed, but I kept thinking about what Will said.