Serenity Nicole Newton
"Why would you call him!" I shouted pacing the room pulling my jacket down.
Cortez looked at me and shook his head, "Because I can't help."
"Baby sis, lemme see your wrist." Sire said softly making me shake my head.
"No Sire, you gotta go back. You g-gotta big time internship that can change you-"
"Let me see your fucking wrist!" He snapped through gritted teeth catching me off guard.
"Sire, you have to go back! You don't have time to deal with me!" I said sternly but he grabbed my arm and pulled up my jacket sleeve before i could do anything.
I sighed as he started trailing the cuts with his fingers, "Damn..."
"Stop. Sire you g-"
"Shut the fuck up Serenity. I'm not going no damn where till I figure out what the fuck is going on with you! This happened when you were 11 and we brushed it off. I'll be damned if you go down this path again." Sire exclaimed making me shut up and look down.
"J-" Sire cut Cortez off.
"Aye bruh, lemme have some time with her."
He nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Ight." He mumbled walking out the family room.
"If you need to fucking talk fucking call me. You act like me moving to another state means, I'm not longer in your fucking life. I'm here baby sis, do you understand. Sire and Serenity forever!! Whenever you need to vent you know damn sure you can call me. So stop acting like that." He snapped looking me in my eyes. When I tried to look away he would follow my gaze.
"I j-just don't wanna put my problem on you. I need you focus on this internship so you can become this great business man okay."
"I will do that, but my family, my baby sister comes first. I don't need you cutting yourself, popping pills, I don't need you to do that shit." He expressed starting to shake me.
"Si-" He cut me off.
"Serenity, if you tell me to leave one more time imma get shitty." He said causing me to sigh and look down.
I walked away from him and sat down on the couch, "Did he really have to fucking call h-"
"Talk, he did the right thing, so when I leave you're not gonna cuss his ass out for running to his last option."
I hated when Sire talked to me like this. I felt like a little kid, but I knew it came from his heart. He rarely talks to me like this, so when he does, I know he means business.
"TALK!!" he shouted causing me jump.
"Snapping on me and yelling at me is not gonna get me to fucking talk remember that shit!! It makes me hold some shit in, so stop yelling." I expressed throwing my hands up. "Please."
"Just talk man. I swear you keep this hard demeanor on but deep down instead we know you're hurting okay, just talk." He said more softer but still demanding me.
"I don't know." He scoffed and leaned back in his seat.
"So you cant tell me shit now Serenity?" He asked softly making me shake my head and wipe my falling tears away. "Look at me."
I ignored him and just continued to play with my nails, "look at me Serenity damn." I slowly looked at him and shook my head.
"I know Sire. I just wanna be by myself."
"Well you're not gonna get that are you?" He asked making me sigh.
"I'm not because you two dumb asses won't leave me the fuck alone."
"Because you're doing suicidal shit. What's next you gone get deeper and actually slit your fucking wrist?" He snapped with tears in his eyes. "if you can't talk to me, Cortez, or Valencia about the shit...who the fuck can you talk to?"
"With you moving, with my mom situation it's a lot okay." I whispered shaking my head. I don't know why I was being so stubborn like I didn't want him here.
"Si-"
"I know this internship is a big deal for you so I don't wanna call. You're living such a great life, I don't wanna mess that up because you'll constantly worry about me. I need you to focus on this internship and not so much me. I'll be fine, you know I will."
"I'm not taking that." He said chuckling. "I'm not fucking taking that. Girl you better let it all out."
"Serenity Nicole Newton." I heard my mom say as my front door was open. I clinched my jaw and shook my head.
"Yea it's time for me to go." I said through gritted teeth tired of all these pop ups. I stood up grabbed my phone and started heading towards my room.
"Se-" She said snatching my arm but I snatched it back and pushed her back.
"Don't fucking touch me." I snapped looking her up and down. "So what you invited her too?" I asked looking at Cortez with a hard mug.
"N-"
"You don't know how to stay the fuck outta my business do you!" I snapped shaking my head.
He furrowed his eyebrows and chuckled, "You make this shit my bu-"
"How the fuck do i make it your business? huh?"
"Se-"
"Aye Nicole you need to shut the fuck up calling my goddamn name before I light fire in yo ass." I snapped causing her to chuckle and let her purse fall down.
"I can't do this shit no more man I swear." My heart dropped as I heard him say that. So, what he's gonna leave me too? Like everyone else?
I turned and saw how he was holding the bridge of his nose, "Fucking leave then." I shouted throwing my keys at him. "Fucking leave like everyone else!!"
"Serenity. Stop throwing shit at me!" He snapped throwing my keys back at me before he snatched me up.
"Aye nigga chill the fuck out." I heard Sire yell as he ran into our room.
"No leave! Fucking leave like everyone else does! GO!!" I shouted in his face as tears ran down my face.
He chuckled and released me, "Lemme make one thing clear you're fucking making me." He said before snatching his stuff off the dresser.
"You fucking bonkers man I swear!!" Cortez yelled as he slammed the door. I stood there froze as I shook my head.
"That's what you wanted?" Sire asked making me shake my head and slide down to the floor.
"What's wrong with me?" I asked shaking my head.
"You got all this bottle up em-" My mom started but I cut her off.
"Didn't I say shut the fuck up talking to me." I said as I looked up at her slowly.
"Sire." My mom said looking at him laughing. "Girl you better stop disrespecting me like that."
"If I don't? What the fuck you gone do? Try to be a fucking mother?" I spat looking her up and down.
"So all of this is my fault Serenity, is that what you're trying to tell me."
"Yes because how the fuck could you leave! How could you leave!!" I shouted standing up wanting to choke her. "HOW COULD YOU FUCKING LEAVE!!"
"S-"
"And you claim you fucking trying right? How the fuck are you trying when you invite dumb ass bitches to our mom and daughter date! How the fuck are you trying by not answering none of my calls or texts? How the fuck are you trying by leaving while we're on bad terms?! How are you fucking trying!!" I shouted getting in her face pointing in her face. "I swear if I have a daughter one day I hope I never do her like you do me."
She sighed and looked down shaking her head, "Listen, after your father left, there's nothing here for me. You're grown out of my house, your brother grown out of my house. Daniel...is just there. I wanted Daniel to fill that hole in my life without your father but he can't. So I work okay."
I scoffed and stumbled back, "S-so...you mean-"
"I can no longer be a mother to you Serenity." She said softly. "I'm here, always will love you, but I can longer be that mother you want me to be..."
"So when my dad died...I lost both of my parents?" I asked looking down playing with my finger nails.
"Serenity, you don't need me. Look you practically rais-"
"And you're proud of that?" Sire asked butting in. "She needs her fucking mother. She needs us."
"So you gone disrespect me too?" She asked looking at him shaking her head. "So I lost my son to-"
"You didn't lose me. I want my mother. I want our relationship back, but you just gave up." I said starting to pace the room back and forth. "You're really leaving my life."
She stood up and walked over to kiss my forehead, "I'm sorry baby girl. I love you dearly, I wish you the best." She walked out the room so I followed her realizing she was picking her purse up.
"Wait...you're leaving? Like you're so serious." I asked shocked shaking my head. "You're really fucking leaving!"
"Serenity, pl-"
"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I said looking at her with disgust. "How could you abandon your daughter like that? I fucking hate you. I really fucking hate you! Why am I even depressed over a disgusting ass ain't shit bitch ass mother like you! Run from all your fucking problems. I hate you man, I fucking hate you!"
"Serenity, chill." Sire said trying to cover my mouth but I smacked his hand away.
"Wait are you waiting for!" She was frozen by the door with her head low. "Leave! Fucking leave like you always do!"
I shook my head and ran into my room grabbing the pictures she gave me of us, "Here take this dumb ass pictures back too. Take your dumb ass birthday present back to. I fucking hate you dawg." I snapped throwing everything at her. "Get the fuck out my shit."
She turned around and I realized she was crying. She bent down and grabbed everything, "Goodbye Serenity." She opened the door and left.
"You leave too. Fucking leave bro, I wanna be my fucking self." I said shaking my head walking in my room slamming and locking the door.
"Serenity, is there anything in there that could hurt you." I ignored him as I looked at the pill bottle on my bed.
"Serenity." Sire said knocking on the door. "Baby sis please."
I sat on the bed and held the pill bottle in my hand. I looked at the water on my dresser and grabbed a note pad. I opened my nightstand drawl and started writing a goodbye letter. I couldn't do this anymore, none of this. Life wasn't for me.
I need my dad...I need him to hold me like he used to when I cried. I pushed Valencia and Cortez away from me. My mother doesn't want me.
So at this point? What the fuck is the point.
"SERENITY!" Sire shouted banging and knocking on the door. "Yo I swear man. Baby sis please whatever you're doing please stop. I need you okay. I need you in my li-"
"No you don't." I shouted back putting all the pills in my mouth before I started swallowing them with water.
"Nobody does." I whispered as I started feeling really dizzy. I fell back and let my eyes start to close right when the door bust open.
"FUCK!" I heard Sire yell as I started to foam at the mouth.