I Hate You I Love You, by Gnash
Hermione hurried to find Draco but it was no use. He was already gone, and that Blaise boy had followed not long after. Fear crept into the back of her mind and Hermione shuddered. She couldn't help but be scared for Draco. If he acted rashly, that boy was likely to curse him. She knew more than well that Draco was capable of defending himself but if he was blinded by his rage, he would be vulnerable. His anger was his biggest flaw. It caused him not to think straight, and if this boy was skilled in the ways of the Dark Arts, which Hermione knew very well he was, then he could use one of the Unforgivable Curses. Hermione tried not to fear the worst but if the boy had been willing to use the Cruciatus Curse on her, there wasn't much else he wouldn't be able to do.
Biting the inside of her cheek Hermione willed herself to calm down. Her aching body relaxed slightly at her command and some tension was released. Hermione sighed in relief but allowed her mind to wander. There were many terrible things that boy could do. Draco could be in danger and Hermione couldn't help but fear the worst. She had come to learn that there were many merciless witches and wizards in the Wizarding World. There was a time when she had believed Draco to be so, now knew now his true nature. There were some times when he would let his anger get away from him, and it frightened her how much he resembled his father in those times. Hermione hated to think such things, but Draco had a terrible temper, similar to Lucius Malfoy's. As much as Draco claimed to hate his father, Hermione knew he loved and respected Lucius a great deal, and was proud of him for that. She only hoped he didn't become like his father.
Rounding a corner, Hermione sighed. The school year was almost over. They had two more months at Hogwarts then it would be summer break. As the days went by Hermione dreaded the day they had to go home. It wasn't that she didn't want to go home, she missed her parents terribly, but she wasn't certain how she and Draco were going to continue their relationship over the summer. Surely they wouldn't be able to see each other, or rather, wouldn't be allowed to see each other. Hermione cursed under her breath, feeling anger and hatred rise in her chest. They wouldn't be able to see each other because of Draco's parents, or rather, Draco's father. Lucius Malfoy would never allow them to continue seeing each other. He couldn't really control Draco's decisions at Hogwarts but once school was out Draco would be at his father's mercy.
That was another thing that bothered Hermione. If what that Blaise boy had said was true, Draco's summer was going to be a living hell. A real nightmare. Hermione felt a pang if guilt upon remembering the boy's words. Draco was going to receive beratings, lectures, and punishments even. Hermione bit her lip. She didn't want him to have to suffer because of her. She wasn't worth that. He shouldn't have to go through all that, Draco didn't deserve to be punished because of her. Hermione grit her teeth and closed her eyes, trying to push the thought from her mind. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't her fault but she couldn't continue to lie to herself. She couldn't believe the lie and she couldn't ask Draco to. Even though she knew he would without ever questioning it.
Hermione rounded the corner and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Draco coming her way from the other end of the hall. She smiled as he approached her. "Oh thank Merlin your okay." She hurried up to him and threw her arms around his neck. Hermione sighed, pulling him into a hug. Overwhelming relief washed over her, even though he hadn't been in any real danger. The whole situation had been nerve racking regardless. Hermione rested her chin on his shoulder and noticed that he was very stiff. When she pulled away, Hermione slid her hands down and placed them on his shoulders. He looked down at her uncomfortably and Hermione tilted her head. "I was worried about you." She said slowly. Draco blinked and nodded absently.
When he realized that she was staring at him expectantly he blinked and nodded again. Hesitantly and almost... cautiously, he placed his hands on her waist and stared at her blankly. Hermione frowned. Draco seemed on edge and acted as if every touch was extremely awkward and uncomfortable. Trying to lighten the mood, Hermione smiled and let out a nervous laugh. "I was afraid you were going to get yourself into trouble." She watched for a reaction but Draco didn't seem to be listening. It was almost as if he were staring into space. Hesitantly, Hermione slid her hands from his shoulders and dropped them at her sides. Something was wrong. Draco wasn't acting like his usual self.
After a moment Draco seemed to regain his composure and he shook his head. Hermione took a deep breath and tried to feel relieved when he smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Do you have so little faith in me?"
That snapped Hermione out of her thoughts and she blinked a couple times to focus on his face. "What?"
"You think my actions were careless. Do you think I'm so reckless?"
Hermione frowned and shook her head. "I never said that, Draco." He scoffed and Hermione stared at him in disbelief. "Why would you think that?" She asked in a slightly hurt voice due to his offensive attitude.
"You said you thought I'd get into trouble." Draco raised his eyebrows and chuckled but did not sound whole-hearted.
Hermione smiled slightly, but it was a half-hearted smile. Draco wasn't acting like his usual self. She'd seen him not an hour ago and noticed he had been acting a bit strange, but his behavior towards her was the same as always. Now he was acting as if he were uncomfortable even being near her. Hermione blinked and stared at him nervously as he shook his head and laid an arm over her shoulders. Draco's hand wrapped around her arm and he began walking, pulling her along with him. Hermione shrugged slightly, trying to shake the odd feeling that settled over her at his touch. Somehow it didn't feel like it usually did.
Shaking her head, Hermione continued to walk by his side. They walked in silence for a long few minutes and she began to wonder where he was leading her. They were not heading towards the library, nor in the direction of the school grounds. They didn't have any upcoming classes so the question still stood, where was he taking her? Maybe he had something planned. Perhaps that was why he was acting to nervously. Hermione looked up at Draco and when he noticed her gaze he raised an eyebrow.
"What?" He questioned demandingly and almost accusingly.
"Oh, n... nothing." She said with a slight stutter and Draco smirked and scoffed. Hermione raised her eyebrows in slight shock by how insensitive he was being. "Is something the matter?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm just sick of it."
"Sick of what?" Hermione asked, slightly afraid and not really wabting to hear his answer.
"The constant stress."
"Oh Draco. You know you can always come to me if you need help. Whether you need someone to talk to or if it's an issue with school. I can always help you study or help you with your homework if you wanted..."
"See, there it is!" Draco burst out in a rough voice, taking Hermione by surprise.
"There what is?" Hermione asked, a bit shocked and shrugged his arm away from her shoulders.
"You, acting like you are smarter than me! It's preposterous and completely outrageous! And it's annoying honestly."
"I never said I was smarter than you!" Hermione said angrily and defensively.
"Oh no, you didn't have to. It's obvious you think your better than me! Why is that so? Huh? Is it because your a Gryffindor, or maybe the fact that your best friends with the famous Harry Potter. Well it's absurd! Your a muggleborn, your blood could never be as pure as mine! You will never be as magically inclined as I am, or any other pureblood wizard or witch for that matter."
Hermione stared at Draco in disbelief. How could he say such things? She'd never claimed to be smarter or better than him. He knew that she was insecure about her magical abilities because of her blood status, so why would he be so harsh? Hermione blinked rapidly to keep her emotions in check then looked up to Draco. He looked upset. Hermione cleared her throat to talk to him again. She would give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it was just the stress talking. "What's stressing you?"
"Oh Hermione..." He said her name rather slowly and odd. "Don't you see? This relationship is stressing me. The constant ridicule, being turned away by all of my fellow Slytherins and colleagues, just always being under your name."
"What do you mean by that?!"
He scowled. "I mean that whenever my name comes up it will always be shadowed and even tainted by your name. I can never again be known as just Draco Malfoy, it will always be Draco Malfoy, the boy who dated the mudblood Granger."
Hermione gasped and hit his chest with her fist. It was quite childish but her blood boiled. "How dare you?! What's all this about?!"
"I think I've made it clear. I'm done. I'm done being tarnished and targeted because of this relationship. My parents are furious, my father wants to disown me, it's just not worth it! Your not worth it! Your a mudblood, you're not worth loosing everything I've ever known for. "
Hermione gasped and tears began to form in her eyes. She stepped closer to him and smacked Draco across the face. Immediatly her hand began to sting and her slap had caused him to yelp in pain. Hermione watched as Draco reached up and pressed a hand to his jaw then smiled. Then, wrapping a hand around her waist, he pulled her into an awkward kiss. Though, aside from awkwardness of it, it wasn't like their usual kisses. No, this kiss was harsh and almost... Well, it was definitely forced, because when she did not return it Draco did not stop.
In fact, he'd never kissed her this aggressively. Hermione struggled to pull away but every time she tried, he'd press harder. She attempted to push him away but his grip around her waist was firm. When she tried to shriek Draco missed her harder, his lips muffling the sound. Running out of options, Hermione frantically pounded her fists against his chest but he didn't budge. When it came to the point she felt his teeth against her lips Hermione jerked away and with both hands, she pushed him away from her.
When they were separated, Hermione staggered, taking several steps backward. She pressed her fingers to her lips and struggled to catch her breath. Every gasp was like ice cold water, hitting first her throat then her lungs. Draco was breathing heavily same as her but smirked at her and wrinkled his nose. "Hm, I expected better." Hermione's eyes widened and she gasped not only for breath but in shock. Hermione backed away from him and reached into her pocket for her wand. She had to get away from him. This wasn't the Draco she knew. There was something very wrong. Someone had cursed him, or... or... Hermione shook her head, trembling and backed away from him as quickly as she could.
Unluckily for her, he recovered from the kiss faster than she had and was already making long strides towards her. Hermione backed up and she hit the wall behind her. She swallowed and breathed deeply, the harsh cold air scraping her throat. She knew that if she didn't do something, and quick, he was going to do something terrible. She didn't know if she should try to escape or fight back. But she ran out of time to decide as Draco cornered her. He grabbed her shoulders harshly then grinned maliciously. "What shall we do with you now, mudblood?" Hermione's eyes widened and she gasped, struggling for breath. Mudblood. He promised he'd never call her that again. Draco's smile never wavered and she felt his grip tighten around her arms.
Tears formed in her eyes and Hermione shook uncontrollably. Oh Merlin, not again! Not again! And this time at the hands of Draco? Hermione let out a sob, trying not to collapse right then and there. She closed her eyes and released several ragged breaths. This wasn't Draco, it couldn't be. She tried to convince herself. This wasn't him! She wouldn't believe it! Hermione knew he would never do something like this. The Draco she knew... the Draco she loved, would never hurt her.
Reaching into her robe pocket, Hermione grabbed her wand and pointed it at his chest. "Let me go." She said, looking him directly in the eye and facing him with as much determination as she could muster. Draco laughed and raised an eyebrow and Hermione aimed her wand directly at him. "Flipendo!" She screamed and he went flying backwards. Draco groaned as he slammed into the stone wall and he fell to the ground, almost immobile from the stun of being thrown against a brick wall. His hand automatically flew to his head and Hermione felt a wave of nausea. Pain stabbed through her heart at the thought of this actually being Draco.
As the stepped closer, Hermione saw a gash across the back of his head. Blood soaked his blonde hair and stood out scarlet. Pulling his fingers away from the mark, Draco saw the blood and began muttering curses under his breath. Hermione heard the uses of "bloody maniac" and "that filthy mudblood will pay". The line went on and on. Never before had she heard Draco use such a strong line of vulgar words, even when they had been enemies.
With a deep breath, Hermione approached him. She met his glare and studied his face. He certainly looked like Draco, but this was an imposter. Whoever this was had to have used some kind of magic. Her highest suspicion was Polyjuice Potion. It was also her worst fear. Well, she had worse fears as to what he might have done with Draco but there were two options. Either he managed to get some of Draco's hair by finding it, or he had taken it by force. If that were the case, who knows where he was keeping Draco. Though if this person were smart he wouldn't have just "found" some random hair and assumed, or rather hoped that it would be Draco's. She was determined to find out who this was and what he had done with Draco. What he had done with her Draco.
"Who are you?" She asked in a loud, clear voice.
He scowled. "Who do you think I am?"
Hermione hesitated. "I don't know, but you are not Draco."
"Are you daft?!"
"Revelio!" Hermione shouted and pointed her wand at him. He groaned when the spell hit him and Hermione watched with wide eyes. It had hit him directly where she'd aimed, square in the chest and if he was using a spell or under a spell then he countercurse should take affect any second. Hermione waited for something, anything to happen. Part of her assumed the disguise would wear off and reveal the boy who had attacked her earlier, but second passed and nothing happened.
Hermione's eyes widened. The revealing spell was supposed to... well reveal any trace of magic. Hermione looked at the ground in disappointment. Her suspicions had been incorrect. So then, what else could there be? She took a slow step forward as Draco rubbed his forehead. Hermione approached him and bent over, meeting his eye. She waited patiently for him to regain full consciousness. Hermione hesitated, praying that her last suspicion would be right. "Draco?" She asked quietly, her voice, less than a whisper. She stared at his face, his eyes, searching his expression for any sign of recognition.
Though there wasn't much way to tell, if he had been under the Imperius Curse he shouldn't remember anything that had happened since before he was cursed. The Imperius Curse was practically untraceable but if done improperly, and she was certain a third year couldn't preform such a curse properly, there should be noticeable traces of the curse.
When Draco looked up and met her glare, he scowled. "Of course it's me! What did you expect to happen, Granger?!" Hermione grimaced and Draco growled. "You rotten mudblood! You've made me bleed. Just wait until my father hears about this." He winced but smiled maliciously. "You'll be expelled for this." Hermione clasped a hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp and backed away from Draco. She wouldn't believe it, she refused to believe it! This couldn't be Draco, he would never call her such horrible things or do such horrible things. He would never hurt her in any way. She couldn't believe that he would have ever kissed her in such a way or spoke to her so harshly. But just as she thought of it, the memories began to flood her mind. Every hateful word he'd ever said replayed in her head as his voice filled her ears.
"Nobody asked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood!" The first time he'd ever called her that. "Why would I want to be friends with a filthy little mudblood?" When he saved her from the boggart. "How dare you talk to me, filthy mudblood!" When he'd been jealous of Ron. But then louder than any of the other voices Hermione heard Draco whisper in her ear. "Your mine, mudblood."
Pain gripped her like an icy hand clutching and squeezing her heart. What had happened? Had Ron been right, was Draco acting all along? Was this his cruel idea of a trick or a prank, or worse. Hermione shook her head. He couldn't have been acting the whole time. No one could be that good of an actor. Hermione was certain that at least some parts of their relationship had been real. The moments she shared with him had been too genuine to have been faked. But that was the worst part of all this. If his feelings had been true, then it was her fault he didn't feel that way anymore. It must have been soemthing she'd done, or maybe... Hermione gasped. That boy. Blaise. He'd been telling the truth. Draco had grown tired of her, and he was showing it in the cruelest way possible.
Tears began to form in her eyes. Hermione hadn't thought him possible of being this cruel. All this time he had been leading her on, making her belive that he cared when the truth was, he didn't. He'd been tricking her all along. Memories of him flooded through her mind and Hermione clutched her head, gripping her hair in fistfuls and clenching her fists so hard that her nails dig into her palms. No! It couldn't be! How could he have fooled her? How could he have pretended to care? How, after all this time, could he just turn on her and try to steal her innocence?! Hermione squeezed her eyes closed and pursed her lips then let out a scream. She couldn't take it.
Hermione's eyes snapped open and she looked back to Draco who was watching her with intense interest. He smiled horribly, seeming to find amusement in Hermione's pain. She raised her wand and held it out in front of her and aimed it at him. Her hand was shaking uncontrollably and tears streamed down her cheeks. Draco raised his eyebrows mockingly. "What are you going to do, Granger? Hex me?" Hermione choked on her breath and reached up to wipe away the tears that now covered her cheeks. She trembled and her wand shook, making him smile wider.
"No. I'm not like you." She said defiantly and pocketed her wand. Hermione's breaths were shallow and rigid. She swallowed hard, trying to catch her breath. Draco scowled, pressing his hand to his bleeding head once more. He winced and cursed again as he touched the wound, trying to access the damage. A slight ping of guilt nudged at Hermione's heart but she quickly pushed it aside. He deserved what he got and nothing could convince her otherwise. Draco's hand was shaking slightly when he pulled it away from the wound and he shakily tried to stand.
Hermione stood there, staring blankly and trying to process what had happened when he looked back up. As he did so, Hermione muffled a sob with her hand and ran from the scene. Up until this point, she had still been trying to convince herself that this was not Draco and that there must have been something wrong with her revealing spell. Maybe she hadn't said it with enough confidence, maybe he'd been using defensive shield Charms. She hoped, she prayed that there was some reason... some kind of an explanation as to why he'd done those things. What she really hoped was that it hadn't been him all along. That it was an imposter, trying to break them and take Draco away from her.
But deep down Hermione knew the bitter truth that she had been avoiding and refusing to accept. It was Draco. It had been Draco all along and he didn't want her anymore. He didn't care about her the way he once did. If he ever did. Deep down, Hermione knew she could never blame him for turning her away. It wasn't his fault that nobody accepted them, but for the aweful things he'd said and fro the things he had done, she could never forgive him. The way he had treated her and disrespected her would never leave her memory.
Once Hermione was far enough away, she leaned against the wall and buried her face in her hands. The tears came like rain now, streaming down her cheeks and dripping into her hands. She couldn't comprehend everything that had just taken place. She didn't understand it. Why had it happened? Why did he stop caring about her? Why did he want to leave? Why was this happenening to her? Hermione brushes her hands against her cheeks and pushed the hair from her eyes. She furiously ran her fingers through it and yanked at it grabbing handfuls in her fists. This stupid, bloody, bushy hair!
Hermione wanted to scream, she wanted to scream until her lungs burned. She wanted to cry, she wanted to curl up in a ball and die. But she knew non of it would help. Nothing would help now. Draco didn't love her anymore and he had shown her in the most painful way possible. And she hated him for it. She loved hm, but she hated him. She hated that she loved him. Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth. How could she have been so foolish?! Draco Malfoy was nothing but a slimy git and that was all he would ever be. He could come back crawling to apologize but she would never take him back! Hermione moaned into a sob. She would never accept him back, but she knew that her heart would always belong to him.
Author's Note:
Okay. There it is. The big game changer! Please don't kill me! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter even though I'm pretty sure it may have killed some of you, haha I'm joking. Anyways, I do hope you enjoyed it. We are almost done with this book! There are only a few chapters left in this book before we move on to year four. (I know I keep saying that but I've literally got like five more. I'm aiming for about thirty. So yeah, about five more.) Please leave lots of feedback and let me know what you think!