JISOO
I never wanted to kiss someone that bad.. I never wanted to feel someone's touches on my body as much as I wanted Jennie's..
With the other two men I had in my life it was nothing. I never felt anything and Suho wasn't the best lover either. With the first guy I've been I lost my virginity and after that I didn't even want to be with him.. I told him I wanted to break up after three weeks.. I stayed with Suho because according to my mom I was in the right age to start a family. But now.. Now it was so different.. I wanted to kiss Jennie for so long but I didn't know if she felt the same.. And she did..
When we laid in bed and she said that phrase my heart skipped a couple of times.. I wanted to answer her back 'I like girls too..' or even better 'I like you'. It was dark inside the room so she couldn't see me as I couldn't see her. But I knew that while I was doing my happy dance inside she was scared of my reaction.. When she said that she liked girls I just smiled..
She was so cute.. She even called herself names that was uncalled for.. She was who she was and I was who I was. There was need for labels.. Gay, straight, bi, dyke, a muffin musher.. And when she said that I realized why I was ordering muffins all the time and why it was the first think I wanted to order when I saw her.. I was a muffin musher myself.. Or an Jennie muffin musher because she was the one that made my head turn, she was the one that was making me happy only by being next to me.. I think I was starting to fall in love with Jennie and it was scary because it was so soon..
Our morning was perfect.. There was no awkwardness and there was no need to.. The moment she asked me to help her dress I didn't know what to do.. At night she told me she liked girls, I liked Jennie and I was going to see her half naked again.. I wasn't prepared thought for having Jennie only with panties.. She wasn't wearing a bra underneath her top.. She wanted me to help her.. And when I did, when I felt her body, I just wanted to push her back on the bed and kiss her till we both couldn't breathe.. But today was important to her and we needed to put this behind as soon as possible. And I needed to put the asshole in jail.
Ella is a very cute, intelligent kid for her age.. But it's like she has an alarm or something because every time I am about to have a moment with Jennie she is there.. Yes, we had a moment inside the bathroom.. I don't know how Jennie feels for me and I don't want to be so full of myself and say that she likes me, but when we were inside my bathroom she looked at me and it was like she wanted to kiss me.. And she was very flirty at the kitchen.. So she might like me as well.. I hope so..
When we left Ella at her school and we got at the police station I could feel her uneasiness.. But the detective we were going to talk was a friend and a good one. It's good to have friends to this places.. And I knew I could trust her..
When Detective started asking questions and I stayed back listening to what Jennie was saying with details my heart broke. That ass, that jackhole, that.. I don't even have the words to describe what he was.. And I was with a guy like him.. I was having sex with him.. I felt so dirty that I let him touch me.. At least it is a good thing that we were having sex once in a blue moon..
"You know it's not going to be easy but we have all the proofs we need. Ms. Kim, there is a big chance for you to go to court."
There was a big chance that he would decline the charges and ask for a hearing at the court. I was prepared for that.. And knowing Suho he wouldn't let that so easy.. He wouldn't let me go so easy..
"I know detective. I am going to fight him." at that moment I touched her hand.. She wasn't alone.. I wouldn't let her side for anything.. We were here together..
"We are going to fight him Jennie. We as like you and me." And she tighten my hand even more.. The moment she looked at me I just wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her.. But that would be inappropriate since we were at the police station..
All the way back home we didn't say anything.. Every now and then I would look at her.. She was looking outside the window.. I wish I could hear what she was thinking.. I touched her hand one more time and that's when I saw her beautiful smile that I missed after we left the police station.. I held her hand till we were outside my building..
When we got inside the apartment she sat right away on the couch. Minutes later I was sitting right next to her.. I wanted to feel the warmth she radiated.. I wanted to feel the closeness I had with her.. I knew that she didn't want to talk but I couldn't take my mind off what she said to the detective. Up until now I didn't know what he did to her.. I read the hospital papers but it was another thing to listen to what someone was doing.. And especially when that someone was your boyfriend..
"I can't believe the bastard. I can't believe what he did to you."
"It's in the past. I am happy he didn't touch you."
"But he hurt you because of me. How that makes me feel? He was my boyfriend and it wasn't your fault. You just were in the middle. I.."
"Stop.. I know what you are doing and it's not your fault. It's Suho's fault and now with your help we are going to put him in jail. Okay?"
I was crying.. All this situation got me.. Although she was saying that it wasn't my fault I felt that it was.. If she didn't meet me, if I didn't take her with me that Christmas night, he would never touch her.. She wouldn't be like that.. And that's when I felt her lips on my skin.. She was kissing my tears away and I just closed my eyes.. When I opened them she was looking at me and I couldn't help but look at those brown eyes.. Our lips were inches apart and I felt her.. I felt her lips on mine.. Jennie was kissing me and I was letting her.. It was the most beautiful kiss I ever had in my life.. It lasted for seconds because she stopped to look at me.. I guess in her mind she was expecting me to react but it was time to tell her something about me..
"This is why I don't have a problem with you being gay."
"I don't understand." She said confused.
"Jennie, there are some things you don't know about me."
"Are you..? You know.. Maybe.. I don't know.. Why did you let me kiss you?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know. Maybe you wanted the closeness?"
"I did. But why do you think I let you? If you don't know then I can't.."
"You like me?"
"Yes, I do Jennie."
"So.. Are you gay? Maybe you are bi.. I was.. But then I liked girls more." she was nervous.. She was starting talking fast and I understood why.. It was the time to tell her some things about me.. Maybe then I could feel her lips on mine again..
"Jennie, when I was in high school I had a crush on a girl.. I went to an all catholic private school for girls.. So no boys there.. At the beginning I thought it was nothing.. All girls are looking at each other but I wasn't just looking.. I wanted to kiss that girl.. I wanted to be with her.. But I couldn't.. In my mind there was always the word sin and my mother threaten me or even disowning me.. And if I acted to my wants and needs then all the girls would look at me differently.. So I let it go.. I pushed it deep behind and I thought I forgot it.. Till I met you.. Till the moment I laid my eyes on you.. That morning at the bakery.. All the feelings were coming back and I just didn't know how to act.. I didn't know what to do.. In my life I learned to be the Jisoo my parents wanted, the Jisoo my professors wanted, the Jisoo that was lonely, scared, and a bitch. But I met you and I just wanted to be the Jisoo I wanted to be.. And someone up there brought us together that Christmas Eve and then I was able to smile again.. You and Ella brought this Jisoo on the surface and.."
I was crying.. I couldn't help but cry.. I was telling her about my life.. About who I was.. No one knew about who I was.. No one saw me like that before.. Only Jennie.. And then I felt her hands cupping my face..
"Look at me." and my sight was blurry with all the tears.. I felt her thump whipping them away.. "You are an extraordinary woman Jisoo Kim. You are an amazing person and I thank whoever brought you to me.. I think I was never happier before that someone hit me with their car.. Do you know how many times I wished you could talk to me at the bakery? Do you know how many times I was wondering why you weren't smiling? Do you know that the moment you were inside the shop my eyes were on you? So.. I am going to say something you told me earlier.. We, as in you and me Jisoo.. I am here.. Okay? I know it might be new to you but I am going to help you.. I just want to tell you that I really really like you.. I liked you for months now."
"Same here Jennie." She smiled when she heard me say it.
"So can I kiss you again? Because I don't think that our first kiss should last for three seconds."
"You don't even have to ask." I pulled her closer to me.
And like that her lips were on mine again.. And this time it felt.. One word.. Fireworks.. She was so sweet, so tender.. I could taste her cherry lip gloss.. She traced my bottom lip with her tongue and I could feel she was asking for entrance.. I was more than willing to grant it.. And that I did.. We kissed and we separated only to breathe.. And then we kissed again.. She wasn't enough.. I wanted more and more and she seemed to feel the same.. My hands were behind her back caressing her and our bodies were coming closer and closer.. In my dictionary that was a very heated make out session.. As I was coming closer to her I heard her and it wasn't a moan..
"Ouch."
"Oh, I am sorry Jennie, I am so so sorry. Did I hurt you? Let me see."
"It's okay Jisoo. Don't worry.. It's just my arm.. It will pass.. Don't worry."
"Are you sure? Do you want to go at the hospital?"
"I just want you to stay here with me and let me kiss you till it's time for us to go and pick up Ella from school."
"I think I can do that."
I felt like a teenager falling in love for the first time.. And I did.. This was my first time falling in love.. And Jennie was that person.. And as she told me to we stayed in each others arms, kissing, till it was time for us to go and pick up Ella..
"Did I tell you how beautiful you are?"
"Hmmm.. I think you didn't for the last couple of minutes." I smiled.
"You are beautiful Jisoo. You are the most beautiful woman I ever seen."
"That's how you had the girls falling on your feet?"
"If I didn't have two of my body parts in a cast I would show you." And I felt her hand on my thigh.. While driving.. I knew that she wouldn't do anything but was I bad for wanted to?
"Jennie.. I am driving.."
"I am not doing anything.."
"You do.. And if you don't want us to have an accident please stop.."
"But I can't help it.. I wanted to touch you for so long and now that you are mine.."
"I am yours eh?"
"Well I'd like to consider you mine Jisoo.." I couldn't help but smile. Is this what butterfly in the stomach feels like?
"O-okay Jennie.. We are here.. Behave infront of Ella."
"Ella knows that I like girls and that I like you." She chuckled.
"You told a four year old that you like me?"
"Yes, I did. Ella knows a lot of things.. She knows I am not her real mom but since I was the one she grew up with she can't stop calling me her mommy. And she knows that her mommy like girls."
"And how did she take it? You know.. That you like me."
"She figured out by herself."
"Are you sure she is three and a half?"
"Yes, she is.." and while she was ready to kiss me again Ella got in the car.. Always at the right moment..
"Hey mommy, hey Jisoo."
"Hey princess. How was your day?"
"Okay.. Nothing much."
"And how is Eddy?" Jennie said with a smirk..
"How are you Jisoo?"
"Changing subject again young lady?"
"Jennie, she is just a child.. Stop teasing her." I said with a very soft and girlfriendly tone while I was touching her hand.. That didn't go unnoticed from our Hercule Poirot because I guess I managed to sash Jennie for the first time..
"Jisoo, you made mommy stop and she didn't say anything back.. Hmm.. Interesting.. So mommy did you tell Jisoo that you love her?" Love me? Jennie loved me? Maybe Ella meant something else.. Like, like me for an example..
"Ellaaaa.. yes I did tell Jisoo that I like her.." Jennie said emphasising the word like and not love..
"So, Jisoo.. Do you like my mommy back?"
"Yes, I do.."
"So.. mommy and Jisoo sitting under the tree.. k-i-s-s.."
"Don't even continue with that because then I will start and the song will go like Ella and Eddy sitting under the tree k-i-s-s.."
"I think I have to deal with two childs here and considering that Ella is a child and you honey are not please stop.."
"But she started baaaby." and like that she made me blush.. She called me baby infront of Ella and we didn't even established what we were.. I knew what I wanted.. I wanted to be her girlfriend so much.. When she did call me baby though she looked at me waiting for a confirmation.. That it wasn't a mistake.. So I did the only thing I could to make her realise that she and I were not a mistake.. I just kissed her..
"Mommy and Jisoo sitting under the tree.."
"Elllaaaa." Jennie and I said unison.. For the first time I felt like I belonged to a family.. Ella and Jennie were becoming my family..