Chapter 39
I woke up to the sound of even breathing, and the feel of the rise and fall of a hard chest. My first instinct was to bolt, then to snuggle. Don't ask me why, because I wasn't quite sure either (I blame the sleepy head me). I mean, you have to admit, you'd do the same if it was warm and super comfortable. Then, I realised it was morning again, and that Charlie proposed that we go do something.
I hope you're happy, his words ring in my ears like a broken record. I didn't even know what he meant by it. Was he asking it in general, or was he asking about a certain part of my life? I always knew he was cryptic, but I think it just got worse over time.
Peeking open one eye, I glanced at Charlie's face. It was resting on one side, the one facing me. His warm breath was fanning my forehead, and somehow, I didn't feel the urge to move away. The little slithers of light highlighted the highest points of his face, which I found odd. On a scale of one to ten, when do you ever get a perfect highlight from natural light without manouvring your body? If it was me, I was sure the sun would just hit my eyes. Sighing, I stopped myself from pulling back my arm that was draped across his abdomen. The pillow barrier was kind of squished between his side and my stomach. In truth, Charlie looked angelic. But only when he's asleep. Like now and only now.
At this point, both my blue eyes were open and I was staring at his face subconsciously as I argued with my brain. Then slowly, a smirk made its way to his lips. With his eyes closed, he arrogantly muttered, "You like my face." It wasn't even a question, just a cocky statement.
I slapped his chest hard, annoyed. "You don't get a say in that, you moron," I grumbled, turning away. "You have to leave now, too," I added without looking back at him.
"Why?"
Seconds later, I couldn't feel the pillow barrier anymore, and Charlie hugged me from behind, with his arms snaked around my waist as if they belonged there.
"Don't you want me here?" he asked, his chin resting on my shoulder.
I was shell-shocked and frozen in place, to put it mildly. He was acting like we were something...more. Charlie and I, we'd never been this close and personal. Stuff like that wasn't our thing and something tells me I should run away this instant. And yet, I didn't.
"I, uh, you--my parents are home," I stuttered and he chuckled. I could feel the vibration of his chest and the quick beat of his heart. It felt comforting.
"So you'd let me stay if it weren't for your parents?" I could practically see his cheeky smile without even looking.
"No, Charlie. I'm saying that because of--" I paused, contemplating if I should continue or not. But then I thought, why not? "Because of Penny. And Drew. I know you have feelings for her and you know how I feel about...you know, Drew."
I spun around, backing away from him. Except, Charlie didn't let go, he simply loosened his hold on me. He just stared at me; like really stared at me. It felt as if he was seeing me for the very first time. It scared me, the way he was searching my face. It almost seemed like he was trying to memorise it. I could tell he couldn't pinpoint what he was looking for. You know, the only difference of this time from any other instant, is that I wasn't gonna assume anything. I wanted to be done with that for good.
"Okay," he replied quietly.
"Okay?" I repeated, slightly confused.
Charlie nodded, gradually releasing me. "If that's what you want," he shrugged.
I glanced away from his bright amber lenses; they made me feel bad. This moment, it felt more than just what we were saying. There was something deeper about this conversation. Somehow, I knew, this was gonna change everything...again.
"Go," I whispered, "you have better things to do."
He sluggishly got up, a hollow expression on his face. He walked to the balcony with a stiff posture. And then, just before he left the room, it was like he flipped some sort of internal switch. Suddenly, he was back to being upbeat and looking happy-go-lucky. His face didn't look sad anymore and he had his grin back on. And--
I couldn't be more curious in my life.
I guess I just knew Charlie long enough to know that he looked more robotic than he ever had before. His smile didn't reach his eyes; there wasn't a single a twinkle in them. It made my heart crack, just watching him put on this act.
He didn't trust me enough to tell me why he was acting this way, I thought to myself.
In the back of my mind, part of me knew it could be my fault, but I didn't believe it. What was I? I was just the girl of his dreams' sister, nothing more than a friend that he almost treats like a guy.
That he sometimes lays with, my brain added quietly.
"Goodbye," he sighed, but he left before I could say anything back.
~
Breakfast went by in a quick blur. My brain was still processing what happened this morning, whilst my parents chatted about the struggles of choosing the right cereal for people their age. Penny was painting her nails, touching only the crackers that Dad always buys. A talk show was playing in the background and the neighbor's chihuahua was barking like crazy.
"You've bearly touched your waffles, Elouise," Mom pointed out, studying me. "Do you need more maple syrup?"
I shook my head with a half-hearted smile. "No, I'm good," I told her.
She frowned at me, looking over at Dad as if asking him if he knew what was up. He too shook his head. She turned to Penny, but she only shrugged. Finally, her gaze locks onto mine.
"You can talk to me when you're ready," she murmured softly.
I now officially owe two people explanations.
"I know," I replied, pushing my chair back and handing her my plate. "I have somewhere to be."
"Go ahead."
And I did.
After a shower, I got dressed in jeans and a three-quarter sleeved shirt. I tied my hair in a fishtail, pulling pieces out to make it seem messy. I even put a wine-coloured beanie on my head. I shoved my feet in my black Doc Martens, grabbed my bag, and went.
I wasn't sure of where to go; I just wanted to get out of the house. So, I just stood there, in front of my house, like a complete idiot. I was sure that Cindy's wasn't an option, at least not at the moment. (There was a chance that Charlie was there, so I crossed it off the list. We needed some space, or at least, I needed it.) I could go to the movies, but I'd feel too alone. I could even visit Zeke, but he might have his latest conquest in his bed. I didn't exactly want to see him like that; it was the side of Zeke that I tried to avoid. Drew's...I didn't think we were at that stage yet.
A smile formed on my lips as I remembered who I could hangout with--even just for a little while. Pulling out my phone from my pocket, I searched my contacts, then pressed call.
"Hey, it's Eli," I said nervously. "You remember that offer, movies and ice cream? Yeah, can I still take you up on that?"
~
A couple hours, a small tub of cookies n' cream ice cream, and parts 1, 2, and 3 of Pirates of the Caribbean later, and I was back to my old self again. It was a much needed break from everything; from all things overwhelming. For once, I didn't worry about what was gonna happen next or what exactly was my next move. I was just a seventeen-year-old junior in high school, who worried about failing Chemistry and petty, first world problems. Right now, I didn't have any responsibilities, like managing a planned date and participating in a pageant that I didn't volunteer for.
I huffed in my seat, annoyed that I lost to Henry. We were playing Mario Cart on their Wii, and I failed miserably in that rainbow track. I tugged my sleeves up to my elbows. "Can we do Coconut Mall now? I suck at every circuit we've done so far," I whined, desperately trying to get the censor to, well, censor me.
The twins laughed, then Henry grabbed the other controller. Hector plopped down on the floor and patted my head mockingly. "Oh, Eli," he said, "is there anything you can do?"
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Hector, that comment was unnecessary," I told him as the last warning bell for the race went off. "Now be quiet, otherwise I'll lose my focus," I added.
"Doesn't change the fact that you're still gonna lose," he muttered under his breath. "To this guy." Hector pointed at Henry with a look of distaste.
Henry nudged his brother harshly, his hazel eyes glued to the screen. "Leave us, foul sir," Henry commanded dramatically, as if he was part of a Shakespearean play.
"Thou must deliver us delicacies, for frozen ice creamery brings happiness to thy heart," I quipped without thinking.
Henry nodded. "Thy suggestion is greatly applaud, my darling," he mumbled, barely containing his laughter. When he saw Hector still standing by the couch, he turned to him. "Be gone."
Hector sighed and stomping his way to the kitchen in search of something edible--hopefully, it's ice cream. Damn, him! Hector was such a cutie, especially when he sulked and pouted like a little five-year-old, that I actually felt guilty for our lame attempt of mockery. Shortly after a few minutes (post-final Mario Cart lap, of course), the Ashtons walked me back to my house. I hugged them both for a long time. For some reason, this seemed to comfort me. And then, I realised something I didn't think I ever would. Not for a very long time. Not until I was old, wrinkly, and dying.
I liked hugs; long, loving, warm hugs.
"Thanks," I told them, blushing at my extended hugging time. I stared at the ground, fidgeting.
"Whatever's bothering you, don't worry about it," said Henry, all carefree and happy.
"If it's about some drama stirring up at school, I'm sure they're just being bitches," Hector added with a reassuring smile.
"If it's a guy thing, just ask him what's on his mind. No point in beating around the bush," Henry continued.
"Besides, who wouldn't want you? You're a total Betty." Hector winked suggestively.
I grinned, relieved to have these cheeky bastards as friends. As they walked back to their house, I yelled out to them. "I can't believe you just said Betty, you grandpa!"
"Says the girl who took on badly improvised Shakespearean language."
I quickly got changed and prepared myself for what Charlie has planned for us. I wasn't sure about the time, but I'm assuming its around now. The state of our home has gone quiet too. I think Dad went on his run around his usual route, and Mom left to buy the groceries. I don't know about Penelope, though. She could be anywhere between a shopping spree downtown or watching season after season of a TV show, which actually does happen--if she was real desperate for something to do. I suppose, since I'm her twin, I wasn't surprised by both. Like seriously, who wouldn't want to be cooped up and wrapped up in warm, comfy blankets? With Pretty Little Liars nonetheless?
I sat restlessly on the couch, watching the ticking of the clock. My mind was somewhere between unconsciousness and dread--maybe insecurity too. I was wearing dark-washed, ripped jeans and a loose fitting sweater that neither left me shivering, nor kept me too warm. It was perfect for today's weather: unpredictable. My Converse clad feet were cold, though. I contemplated changing. I stood up, ready to do as I wished, but, twelve and a half minutes in, and Charlie finally rings the doorbell. I sighed.
I could endure it, for now, I guess.
Charlie was clamoured in a baby blue polo shirt; his legs covered in denim; his feet protected by his favourite pair of sneakers. They were worn and old, but he loved those shoes.
I raised a brow at him, wondering why he didn't wear a jacket. He was one of those people who treated life like a scouting activity. Charlie was a Boy Scout, in a way. He regarded me cautiously, his amber eyes blank. My eyebrows knitted together.
"What?" I snapped a little too harshly than intended.
Head tilted to the side, he stated, "Your hair's...down." He shook his head in bewilderment. "You don't like it down. Not even when you sleep--no, you wear it in a bun when you sleep. It just comes undone."
I shrugged, trying for nonchalant. i touched my hair for confirmation. "I guess I've been leaving it out more often," I uttered, remembering the time when I was eavesdropping and got caught. I used my curls to cover my face, which was pretty nifty.
He wrapped a brown ringlet around his index finger and smiles. "I like it."
Charlie drove us in Cindy's black Camaro. When it's engine roared to life, I recalled how much I loved its soft hum and rhythm. Thankfully, Charlie was a smooth driver, and the relatively brief journey was relaxing. The sun was ready to set, but not quite so. I stared out the window, watching the rippling waves of the beach, She Looks So Perfect softly playing in the background.
~
"God, it feels like an eternity since we last did this," I affirm, glancing at the familiar arcade as we pass it by.
Charlie smirks, amused. "I know, it feels so long ago. I actually feel old."
I laugh, nodding in agreement. "Why'd we stop anyway? Was it because of Eric, the blond-headed, dark knight?"
Charlie shakes his head. "More like monster," he scoffs. "But no, Eli, it wasn't because of that. I sort of just figured you were doing fine on your own."
"Then why are we doing this?"
Charlie is silent for a few seconds, but then he says, "Honestly? I just missed spending time with you this way," and quickly walks ahead.
I let him. I let him walk further. I don't ask him to stop and wait for me. This is good; this is almost like my closure.
Closure to what?
The answer dances and prances around in my head, mocking me, but I don't say it. I don't think it. I don't even acknowledge it. Instead, I picked up my pace and replied, "Let's go to the food court."
Now, it was when Charlie's in the middle of telling a joke that I received a call. It's when everything seemed to reverse back to their respective spots and I'm no longer treading dangerous territories that I unknowingly picked it up. Surely, I don't have to know the caller ID, right? Yeah, well, I really should have looked at it.
With a mouthful of oven-baked, potato wedges, I answered, "You've reached Eli."
"Elouise?"
It was Andrew, and he sounded worried. Really worried.
"It's Agatha," he murmured and I inhaled sharply. "I--we haven't seen her since this morning. I--I've looked everywhere."
He was breathing hard, and I could just imagine how scared he was.
"I thought maybe... Please, you need to help us find her."
"Where do you need me?" I asked, the guilt of seeing a clueless Charlie already creeping up my spine.
"I'll text you the address." He sounded relieved.
Staring at Charlie, who was busy chomping down on a double bacon and cheese burger mercilessly. I remembered the time when I was having two conversations at once; one with Drew and one with him. They were asking me on non-dates; both of which I misinterpreted.
Final closure, I told myself, you need this.
With the biggest breath I'd ever inhaled, I turned my cheek on the more-than-a-tiny-bit-simple decision looming over me. Then, I hesitated and I looked up at Charlie's alluring gold lenses. They were burning bright with curiosity as his dimples wink in and out of existence. In a split second, I lose the fight in me--all the fight in me.
This was it, I thought, a sad smile passing my lips.
Say it, my conscience demands.
And, you know what? This time, I obeyed.
"Sure, Drew. I'll be there."
* * *
We've hit the 50K mark! *blushes profusely*
So maybe it's not as big a number as some stories out there, but hey, when you think about it, 50,000 is a pretty hefty amount. We're all about positivity here! ;)
Dedicated to myself (I know it's weird), for actually not deleting this story; not even when I thought there was absolutely no hope for it. Dear Future Me Who'll Be Rereading This, you did a good job--now keep going.
Now, I know it's a late update--I mean that in its literal sense too (it's practically 2 in the morning right now!)--but I wrote a lengthy one. I hope you liked it.
Multimedia Weekly:
- Style by Taylor Swift (1989 is such a great album! PS: no hate)
- photo of Eli's pretty eyes (that Drew and Charlie seem to like looking at...a lot)
Please don't forget to help this story grow. Leave a comment, vote, and/or share! It's up to you!
Thank you so much. You are amazing. Good morning/night!
J~