For the next few days, that dream would not get out of my head. No matter how hard I tried, the drowning sensation always washed me in the most random of times. The scenes leading up to that push kept replaying, Shawn holding my hand, calling me babe. And then breaking my heart into a million pieces.
It just felt so real, as if I was actually there. I could feel his hand developed in mine, his sweet voice in my ears, his laughter drugging me. But it was all a dream. All a stupid dream.
I don't know why but I felt angry at myself like I did something wrong. Maybe it was because I let Shawn push me in or, I'm just being sensitive about the whole thing and overthinking about it.
It was a Friday night and during the week I had had one more class with Shawn on the Thursday and it was a science double period class. I tried to avoid eye contact during the whole class, I don't know why I did, I felt.... scared? I know, it sounds dumb but I just did. Even though the Shawn in the dream wasn't real I ignored that obvious fact for some reason. During that class, I didn't really pay attention (as usual) but the one thing I did hear was that we were going to get into pairs next week and do some type of experiment. So I'm not looking forward to that since I'm not what you would call a social butterfly... I'm just praying that I won't get paired up with Shawn. Even though a large part of me wants that fantasy to be true, another part thinks the exact opposite.
It was about 9:30 pm and I was on facetime with Lily, we were just talking about random shit when guess who she brought up. Shawn.
"So, hows the situation with Shaaaawn?".
"What do you mean, situation?".
"Ya know, the thing in P.E..." Wtf, h-how does she know about that?!
"How do you know about that?" I asked calmly when on the inside I was screaming.
"Oh, Sam told me" You've got to be kidding me
That little dick. I KNOW he's doing it on purpose.
"Can you tell him to mind his own business, since you're friends now?" I said aggravated.
"Woah Woah Woah. What's your problem y/n? why are you so angry?" I took a breath.
"I just don't like people invading my personal life.."
"Oh ok, ill tell him."
"Thanks." Then all was quiet on the other line.
"Uh, I've gtg y/n, ill talk to you tomorrow."
"oh ok, bye Lily."
"bye y/n." she ended the call and left me feeling lonely.
I put my phone down but as soon as I did it buzzed. So I picked it up and saw that an unknown number had texted me.
Unknown: hey
Me: hi, who is this?
Unknown: its Shawn :)
I smiled and continued to type.
Me: oh hey Shawn
(I'm just gonna say S and M.)
S: How was your day?
M: it was ok, I don't really like school, but at least it's Friday.
S: Yeah, so what are you doing on the weekend?
M: nothing really.. just chilling.
S: oh okk
M: did you want to say something?
WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT, F**K
S: oh um, I was just wondering maybe if you wanted to go to the movies?
OMG, HE DID NOT JUST ASK THAT!
M: yeah sure :)
S: ill see you tomorrow at 6 at the cinema.
M: ok bye Shawn
S: bye y/n ;)
And just like that I passed out and went to bed
jk jk i fell asleep peacefully.