"And yeah... I met Yeosang when he started in my class. He seemed so terrified all the time, but back then I obviously didn't know why. But there was something about him, something that made me want to be his friend."
While Wooyoung goes into the part of the story when he and Yeosang's friendship began, Seonghwa is slowly starting to feel a little distant. He is sitting on the chair, frozen, with tears in his eyes and trembling lips. The pain he had had in his heart has turned into a different kind of pain, a pain for Yeosang.
"It took years before he told me what had happened," Wooyoung continues, "and our friendship has suffered from many rough times. Yeosang would often shut me out, get into fights with older boys. Whenever he achieved something good, he felt bad about it, like he didn't deserve it. So he would go out and provoke someone bigger than him, just to get beat up. That's what happened the other day, when Jongho saw him. He tried to stop Yeosang from acting foolish again, but it didn't work out... It's been years since the last time. We might be best friends, but we don't share the TMI stuff too often. But one night we went out drinking he did tell me some things which made me think he had changed getting beat up with one-night stands. He needs the comfort of another person close to him, but not too close. One-night stands were a perfect solution. Until he met you."
Seonghwa nods a couple of times, fighting to hold the tears locked in place. Everything is slowly coming together in his mind. How Yeosang has been so distant, and so scared of all kinds of feelings. And why he reacted so strongly to the foolish question Seonghwa had asked him. If only Seonghwa hadn't listened to Hyunjin.
And speaking of Hyunjin...
"Wooyoung," Seonghwa finally speaks up, "what can you tell me about Hwang Hyunjin?"
"Hyunjin?" Wooyoung's eyes widen up and his mouth briefly turns into a small circle, "w-why are you asking about him?"
"I met him a while back... Should I be afraid of him?"
The look on Wooyoung's face is hard to read. He runs his fingers through his blonde hair a few times, while biting his lower lip. Seonghwa watches him intensely, waiting for an answer.
"No," Wooyoung finally says, "Hyunjin is fucked up, but he is harmless to someone like you. If you just choose to ignore him."
Wooyoung proceeds to tell Seonghwa about Hyunjin, how he and Yeosang had met each other at the group therapy. Hyunjin had had his own issues, but Wooyoung doesn't know much about it. Somehow Hyunjin had felt a deeper connection with Yeosang and the two started hanging out, sharing their deepest, darkest thoughts with each other.
"I think, Hyunjin thinks he is in love with Yeosang. But it's not real love, it's an obsession. He feels no one has ever understood him like Yeosang did. But Hyunjin was bad influence, making Yeosang do all kinds of stupid things. Poor kid, Hyunjin, he is a troubled one but he only brought Yeosang even more down," Wooyoung says with a shadow hovering over his otherwise cheerful face. He nervously moves around, tugging the end of his shirt.
"Wooyoung, are you okay?" Seonghwa carefully asks, well aware that no one could ever be okay knowing that his best friend has lived through all of this.
"Yeah I... Anyway..." Wooyoung clears his throat and wipes a small tear away from his eye at the same time, "About three years ago, Yeosang was already doing so much better. He had quickly moved to the top of the class, he always used to tell me he wanted to succeed and make his father proud. But Hyunjin was stuck in the same old loop, hating how Yeosang was doing well."
And just as Seonghwa dared to think that the pain in his heart couldn't get any worse, it happened. Wooyoung's eyes tear up as well, when he shares the next part. Seonghwa has to close his eyes, hide his face with his hands as the words flow through his ears.
Hyunjin had somehow lured Yeosang back into their toxic friendship, pulled him in with the guilt of leaving his old friend behind. But things escalated when Hyunjin had confessed his love for Yeosang, saying they could be together forever, just the two of them – the only ones in the world who truly understood each other. Yeosang just had to do this one particular thing.
Overdose.
Yeosang has had his doubts, but Hyunjin's words had made sense in that moment. And he was so close to doing it, taking the drugs from the hand which was holding it out towards him; the end to his miserable life.
"Yeosang called me that night. He had come to his senses in the very last minute. At first, I couldn't even understand him through the phone. He was crying so much while running down the street..." Wooyoung takes a deep breath, gritting his teeth while his entire face turning so serious that even Seonghwa feels scared of him. "I feel bad for Hyunjin, I do, but I don't want to see him around Yeosang ever again. If you see him, let me know."
"I will... Wooyoung, thanks for telling me all this."
"Sure. I... I know how much you mean to Yeosang. You're the only one who has ever made him feel truly happy."
"I..." Seonghwa feels how the lump that has gradually been growing in his throat is almost choking him by now, "I... I can't believe I messed it all up."
"You can fix this. I know you can!" Wooyoung assures him, placing a comforting hand on Seonghwa's shaking shoulder. "He loves you so much, Seonghwa."
"Can you... Help me? I-I need to talk to him. Right now."
Wooyoung nods as he gets up to grab the keys from his dresser, his blonde hair swaying in front of his eyes as he tries to hide the tears that are rolling down his cheeks.
"Let's go then."
~
"I have one last question," Seonghwa says as he and Wooyoung are walking down the hallway.
"Sure?"
"Did Yeosang and Hyunjin ever... You know..."
"Oh... No. Definitely no! Why are you asking?" Wooyoung looks at Seonghwa with an almost scared look on his face, even making a X with his hands in front of him.
"We met Hyunjin one day. And when I asked who he was, Yeosang told me he was a one-night stand he had had."
"Ah, I see... I guess... It was just easier to lie than have to tell the truth, no?"
Seonghwa nods, he completely understands. And knowing what he knows now, he could never be upset that Yeosang had lied to him that day.
When they reach Yeosang's door, Seonghwa can't feel anything at all. Everything around him disappears and he feels like he is caught in a very, very bad dream. Wooyoung knocks on the door twice but there is no response. He then calls out for Yeosang before announcing he is going to unlock the door himself.
The room is pretty dark and Seonghwa struggles to make his eyes find focus. When it finally happens, he sees Yeosang still lying in his bed, hiding under the covers just as the last time they were there. Wooyoung gives a quick pat on Seonghwa's back before quietly leaving the room again.
"Yeosang," Seonghwa whispers into the darkness.
"What do you want? I told you to stay away from me," the cold response hits Seonghwa like a bullet, but he is not going to give up. Not this time.
"I'm sorry I hurt you." Seonghwa says softly as he sits down on the bed. "But don't shut me out, please."
Carefully he reaches his hand out towards Yeosang, hesitant on what to do Seonghwa ends up placing his hand on the younger's shoulder. His next words are hard to say out loud, but he knows he has to do it.
"I-I know what happened. With your mother, with Hyunjin... Everything. You didn't deserve any of that. And it wasn't your fault, none of it was!"
Yeosang finally reacts. At first he pulls his shoulder away from Seonghwa's hand, causing a killing silence to spread across the room as Seonghwa fears he has fucked up yet again.
"W-what did you just say?" Yeosang turns to look at Seonghwa before slowly sitting up, leaning his back against the wall and with his legs pulled up in front of him.
"I asked Wooyoung. I'm sorry. Don't be mad at him, please! I begged him to tell me."
"Why did you do that?" Yeosang quietly mumbles. His hair is messy from probably staying in bed since yesterday, and even in the dimness of his room it's clear to see on his face that he has been crying a lot.
"Because I love you."
"Even... Even after the mean things I said to you? Even... Knowing what you know now?" Yeosang looks down, trying to hide his face behind his knees.
"Yes."
Yeosang bites his lower lip before finally turning his head to look Seonghwa in the eyes, and even with the bruises on his face Yeosang still is the most beautiful person Seonghwa has ever seen.
"I love you," Seonghwa repeats, completely and utterly captivated by the softness in Yeosang's eyes, "I promise, I will never leave you."
A brief smile shows on Yeosang's lips before he tries to hide his face behind his long hair, and Seonghwa can't hold himself back anymore. He moves in to sit right next to the younger, pulling him right into his arms. Yeosang responds right away, throwing his arms around Seonghwa's back, and Seonghwa feels like he is falling in love all over again.
With his face buried against Seonghwa's chest, Yeosang's own body starts to tremble. As soon as it happens, Seonghwa pulls him in even closer, giving him multiple kisses in his soft hair.
"It's okay, baby," Seonghwa whispers, "I'm here. I'll always be here."
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A/N: I'm sorry, I know the last chapter was a rough one. Can we get some happy tears instead? <3