She furrowed her brows, looking between the two of us with venom spewing from her eyes. If looks could kill, we'd burst into flames and burn alive right there. She sliced her hand through ours, separating our hand-holding.
"Hope!" I hissed, as she pulled me to her. She cupped my cheeks, eyeing my face. Inspecting every inch of my cheeks, eyes, and neck.
"You better not have hurt her." She growled in a calm tone, eyeing Cam like he was a criminal. He shook his head, running a hand along his creased forehead.
"Don't be an idiot," I grumbled, swatting her hands away from me. "He wouldn't hurt me." She turned her attention back to him in a flash. Stepping in front of me like a protective mama bear saving her cub from danger.
"If you hurt her, I swear!" She pointed a finger at him and I swatted her again.
"This isn't the time, Hope, I swear to God," Cam said nothing, and I didn't blame him.
"Then please tell me you didn't hook up in the closet. You know how bad that would look for him?" It was his turn to roll his eyes and gave a pained groan.
"We just talked," he said in a stern tone.
"Talked?" she hissed, taking a step forward. Her eyes narrowed in on him, looking like a snake about to coil and strike. "I'm out here because I heard you!" She said pointing a finger hard into his chest, poking the shit out of his pecs. "I would have burst through that door if you wouldn't have locked it! I swear to..."
"Christ on a cracker, Hope, I'm fine. You knew it upset him with me being here. He yelled. I explained and I'm in one piece." I stepped between them, removing her finger from his chest.
For a woman who stood at a mere 5′3 and 120 pounds soaking wet. She sure had balls of steel. My sister was more intimidating than a man with a gun. Or hell even Jason with a machete. Or the chainsaw guy at the end of a haunted house who chased you until your heart exploded. I mean, you get the idea. She's tiny and scary. No one intimidated her, and she took shit from no one. But thanks to our upbringing, we had to grow up tough and grow up fast. No thin skin for the Meyer's girls.
She licked her lips. Taking a step back from us and threw her arms in the air. I could tell she was biting her tongue and swallowing the harsh words she wanted to say. Short and sweet speeches were never her specialty.
"Fine! If that's how it's gonna be!" She threw her arms into the air giving up again. "I wanted to tell you I am heading down to my courtroom. Ugh. This.... this sucks. Mom found me and cornered me and...." She put her face in her hands only looking back at me when she had collected herself. "Just be careful," she whispered and then looked up at Cam.
"Please take care of my little sister. And don't hold hands, don't bring attention to this relationship. The other side will eat you alive for bringing a woman who is not your family to your late family's murder trial. OK?" He simply nodded and tried giving her a small smile.
"Of course," he whispered. "I would never hurt your sister, just so you know."
"Yeah, well—you better not because news flash, there's two of me and my other sister is a lot more mouthy and can pack a punch." She widened her eyes and gestured with her hands threatening him with her evil glare. Or what she tried to make look evil, more like an intimidating hamster. He took a step back, nodding at her protective stance.
"OK well---Love you, byeeeee!" She gave a wave and took off in a rush towards the elevator.
"I'm sorry for my sister, she's......"
"Protective?" He questioned, raising a brow. He seemed more calm and collective than before. Almost settling back into his old self with me.
"Overly! More motherly than I need sometimes." I took a deep breath as we began to walk. He distanced himself behind me until we made it to the entrance of the courtroom.
Soft mummers came from inside the courtroom. But one defining wail made me throw myself against the opposite wall to hide. Swallow me now world, please! Let me melt into this wall and become invisible. Hearing her cries for pity or hearing her voice period is enough to send my mind into a panic. What if she sees me? Will she kill me too? My life has been in too many life-threatening situations lately. I put my hand over my hammering heart, holding back the bile rising in my throat. I closed my eyes. Big breaths. Concentrate on real things. 1. 2. 3. 4.
"So, that's your mother?" Cam questioned, drawing me out of my panic. He stood tall in the open doorway. He peeked an eye sideways to glance at me and then back at her.
"Yeah, just how you want to meet my fucked up family, huh?" I rubbed my eyes, smudging my makeup, but I didn't care. My mother was in there. And I would have to walk past her to sit beside CeCe. Adrenaline burst through my veins forcing my fight or flight to take over. Flee, idiot! Fleeeeee!!!
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to take away from you," I choked out, my lungs weighed down by an elephant sitting on my chest. Damn this elephant, I wish it'd leave me alone!
"Don't worry about me," he said, staring straight forward, eyeing my mother's crazy antics."I haven't seen her face to face in three years, I'll be good in a minute." He shook his head, side-eyeing my tiny freak out.
"Stay to my right, I'll walk you to CeCe and I'll hide you the best I can." God, I should marry him ASAP. We were in a courthouse after all. Future Mrs. Cole coming through. I laughed at myself, I had to. How else am I supposed to take this tension away? Cam held his hand out for me and I took it. Despite my sister's warnings and clung to him tight.
I did what he said and stayed to his right, as he guided us up the aisle. And without incident, I sat down next to CeCe. And took a deep breath of relief.
"Ahh--just his editor!" She greeted me playfully with a large grin.
"Hi," I said in a small voice avoiding turning my head where my mother was still making a scene.
"It was nice of you to come out and support him." She patted my hand, as Cam sat down next to me. He bit into his fingernails and discreetly grabbed my free hand in his. He squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back for reassurance. I wasn't leaving. I would not abandon him now, even if my mother was glaring daggers into the back of my brain. I could feel her, burning smalls holes through my skull. I knew I'd have to face her devil's wrath later on. For now, though, I was here for Cam. Not for her. Not for Justin. The only person who mattered to me now was Cam.
I probably squeezed the shit out of Cam's hand throughout the day. I knew the moment the day was over with, my mom would have some words for me. In her eyes, I've betrayed her and sat with the man who accused her precious, perfect step-son of murder. But... how could she not know the accusations were real? Cam had pointed him out.
And Justin?
Well, he was getting ready to take the stand in his own defense.
"My name is Justin Ford," he said, keeping his eyes down. His brown beard filled his jawline. Giving the illusion he was homeless, minus the dirt and holey clothes. When he looked around his beady black eyes scanned the room. And they went straight back to his feet, never keeping a gaze on anyone for too long.
Was he sorry? He sure looked sorry up there. Shaking like a child in trouble for flushing his mother's keys down the toilet, but it was much more than that. He had hurt people, snuffed their souls from their bodies. He could be sorry, but I knew a good con man when I saw one. And he was it.
"Mr. Ford, can you please tell the jury your story?" His lawyer paraded around in front of him like a circus ring leader.
"Yes," Justin breathed, his body physically shook, as he settled into the chair. "It was me and Ray. We was given orders to collect a debt."
"And who were you to see?"
"Mr. Cole," Justin mumbled. He lifted his watery remorseful eyes to look at Cam, letting small tears run down his wrinkled face. When his eyes finally found mine, he didn't blink. He seemed inhuman, coached on what to say and how to act. Like a robot pretending to wear human skin.
"And what were your instructions?" His lawyer inquired, still prancing around in his cheap suit.
"Get in, scare 'em, take the money, and leave." He said hastily, running his words together.
"But then what happened?" His lawyer finally stopped pacing and stopped right in front of Justin. Justin wiped a handcuffed hand down his face, visibly crying.
"I swear," he said staring directly at Cam, "I swear we didn't mean to hurt no one. It just.... happened." Cam tensed up, crushing the bones in my hand. His jaw muscles clenched tight, grinding his teeth together. I squeezed his hand back, trying to cool him off. But who am I kidding? He didn't have to cool off! He stared at his family's killer in the eyes. Forced to listen to what should have happened. But it did happen.
"Under whose orders?" His lawyer asked in a sharp tone, slamming a hand onto the wood railing in front of him.
"Ray! It was Ray! He made me do it. He threatened me—my sisters, he threatened my dad!" He cried out desperately pleading with the court. My heartbeat so loud in my ears I could barely hear my mother's wails behind me.
"We—we pulled up to the house. Ray pulled a baseball bat and handed it to me. He took a gas can, but I swear I didn't know what he had planned. It wasn't supposed to be that way." He sobbed, still staring at Cam with such intensity, I didn't know how Cam stayed in his seat. I didn't know how he could sit there and listen to this without wanting to choke the life out of Justin. Because I know I sure did.
"And then?" His lawyer rattled on, trying to pull Justin back into the story.
"It was 10 PM, we broke a window in the back and came through the back door. He was there at his computer, Ray told me to hit him and then we'd get the money. So I did twice. It knocked him to the ground. He wasn't awake, so Ray told me to drag him to the basement and we'd find the money ourselves. I drug him there, tied his hands, and went back upstairs. Ray was lookin' through everything. But we couldn't find no money." He dropped his head again, watching his twitching fingers.
"I didn't know there were people upstairs. I never heard a sound, only when Ray came back down with a butcher knife and bl---blood all over 'im." He couldn't look at Cam anymore and I couldn't stop staring at Justin. My mouth wide open catching flies, clutching onto the man beside me.
"He—he told me we needed to leave, he got what he came for. And smoke came from the upstairs. I knew what Ray did. We fled and left with nothing."
Nothing. My heart seized and fell into my gut.
They left with nothing. My whole body went numb at his admission. Tingling erupted under my skin like pins and needles attacking my nerves. He did it. He did it for a debt that needed to be paid, but left a burning building with three people inside, without a dime in hand. Hell---they hadn't stolen a goddamn thing except for two innocent souls. And it wasn't just that. They stole a part of Cam's too. They stole an innocent part of him he'd never get back.
They stole his trust. They stole his ability to write. They stole his baby...his wife. They stole his sanctuary. They stole everything from Cam and left him half-empty. All for fucking nothing. Not a dime.
It felt like a lifetime. I sat there. My hand still secretly in his. Clammy as all get out, but I didn't dare pull away from him. I didn't want to. Finally, 5:00 pm came and the judge excused us all from the courtroom until the next day. Cam helped me avoid my mother again, by blocking her view of me. Thank God for his enormous stature or my mother would've caught me red-handed. But of course, she was too busy sobbing and reaching for Justin to notice my escape.
We met up with CeCe in the hallway and she gave me a hug. "You've done well with him. Thank you for keeping your eyes on him and helping him through this." She whispered in my ear, holding onto me tight against her.
"Of course," I whispered. If she only knew why I was really here. She hugged Cam in an even bigger embrace, burying her nose into his chest.
"I'll see you at my house?" She questioned, patting his cheek. He nodded in agreement and eyed me.
"I won't be too long," he whispered. She patted his cheek again and looked back at me. Her eyes zoning in on my worried expression.
"I'll see you later," she said solemnly and walked toward the front entrance.
"You're staying with your sister?" I noticed the visible lump in his throat.
"It's for the best right now. I--" I put up my hand and stopped him.
"She's good for you. She's a good sister. Enjoy her company." He seemed worried about offending me.
"It's nothing against you," he took a brave step forward, putting a hidden hand on my waist.
"Cam, I told you before. I'm here if you need me, otherwise, I'm working."
"You've been good to me," he whispered, emotions spilling onto his face.
"We've made a good team and now..."
"Say you'll come tomorrow?" He interjected. "Between you and CeCe...... I'm barely above water."
"I'll come, I'll be---"
"Mercy Meyers!" My body jolted upright at the sound of her shrill voice. I shook as if I stepped into a blistery winter wind about to knock me over. Winter wasn't coming, Hell was. Her heels pounded into the marble floor. Her beady brown eyes zoned in on me like a shark circling in the water. I knew she'd come for blood this time.
"Oh God," I fell as white as a ghost looking up at Cam, who took his hand from me. "Leave, you don't want to see this," I whispered in horror. He simply nodded, concern filling his eyes and hesitated a bit. Like he wanted to stay and help me fight this impossible battle. But eventually took a few steps from me and went out the exit without a fight.
Before she could utter a word, her palm met my cheek. Heating a hand-print into the side of my face, shocking my jaw open.
"I ask you to come and support your brother and you're canoodling with his accuser?!?!" She huffed, stomping her foot.
"Mom, I can---" her other palm found the other side of my face making me cry out from the stinging pain. I slumped over, trying to pull air back into my lungs.
"You're a disgrace, Mercy Katherine, I swear!" She hissed in a low voice, as I slowly stood up to stare her into her burning eyes.
I am tired of being pushed around by her. So tired of being her scapegoat or her little doll rag doll to position and fuck over.
"I am not a disgrace!" I said standing up straight, releasing my burning cheeks from my hands. "I have done nothing wrong." I rounded my shoulders and her face fell at my defiance. Her similar brown eyes widened in displeasure. And damn did it feel good to see her losing her grip on me.
"You ungrateful, little bi--"
"Excuse me, ma'am, is there a problem here?" My sweet, sweet savior came to my side in the form of a uniformed officer. He looked between us, eyeing my mom suspiciously.
I seriously contemplated what to do. On the one hand, she's my mother, but on the other, she assaulted me. She hurt me. She tormented me on multiple occasions twisting me to do her bidding and I'm done with her.
"Yes," I finally spit out, coming out of my internal conflict. Another officer approached us and took my mom by the arm leading her away from me.
"Do you want to press charges?" He asked raising my chin to examine the redness on my cheeks. Another internal conflict went through me. What the hell do I do? Do I press charges against my own mother? Even after all the hell and torment she put me through, did she deserve to go to jail?
"No, she's my mother.... I"
He sighed heavily, "she may be your mother, but she assaulted you. It doesn't give her the right to touch you. If you don't want to press charges, we can at least file a report for future reference."
"And it would be on record?" He nodded to confirm, and I confirmed I wanted it. If it was on record and she ever touched me again, she'd be in trouble. He led me over to my mother who was being detained on a bench with pitiful tears in her eyes. Putting on a good show for the people around her.
"I didn't press any charges." Her eyes filled with relief and she stood up.
"As you sh---"
"I'm not done!" I said raising my voice and she shrunk back down. "I'm not here to support your criminal of a son. I'm not here to support you or that idiot you married. I'm here to support my friend whose family was murdered. I'm cutting contact with you again. Lose my number. I'm tired of being this puppet for you. You need help. You and him! You're a narcissist and until you seek help for your manipulative ways, I will not be present in your life. And neither will my future children or husband or whatever I do with my life!" I shouted, my voice echoing through the whole first floor of the building. Surely catching the attention of anyone walking by. Her mouth flopped like a fish begging for air and then she stormed off. Leaving her idiot husband in the dust. I could tell he wanted to say his peace, but I wouldn't allow it. And neither would the officers who were still around me.
"Thank you both for your help," they nodded their heads and walked away. And I headed to my car in the parking lot.
All I wanted to do was go home, drink a glass of wine, crawl into the bathtub, and drown myself in my tears. Here's the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. That song could probably be my mantra for the next few weeks. It was all too much for me. The work. The trial. My stupid mother. Cam. My world was closing in on me slowly like a torture device strangling the air from my lungs. Leaving me no room to scream or run and I didn't know how much more I could take. A gust of wind could knock me down at this point and I didn't know if I'd make back to my feet.
As I approached my beat-up Nissan, I saw a familiar-looking shadow leaning against it."You didn't have to wait," I said trying to clear the frog in my throat.
"We weren't done yet and I....." he stopped mid-sentence and lifted my face for a better view.
"She hit you?" His voice raised an octave, looking over the minor damage. I bit into my lip, as his fingers traced the heat on my cheeks. Probably bruised in the shape of hand-prints by now.
"It's not the first time she has smacked me, but it's the last time," I whispered, reveling in his warm touch wishing I could cuddle into him.
"Are you OK?" He asked.
"Yes and no," I said, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "I'm serious. I'm going to be fine. My mom's an idiot and I've cut contact with her again. I'll change my number and she won't ever try it again. You don't have to worry about me, OK?"
He let his hands fall to his side and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow then? Same time?" I nodded.
"I'll be here for as long as you need me." I moved toward my car and he grabbed my arm. His eyes darted around the empty parking lot and he leaned in. He gave me the simplest and quickest peck on the lips, but it meant the world to me. He slowly pulled back and stared at me. A need pulsating in his eyes.
"I finished the book," he whispered, making the depths of my despair sink lower.
"That's amazing!" I whispered. "You can drop it by or..."
"I'll email it," he replied.
"Of course," I said, leaning into his hand a little. "And I will finish the edits and your book can get off the ground."
"It already is," he said, "and it's all thanks to you." I nodded, and he kissed me one last time before pulling away completely. Leaving me empty on the outside as much as I felt on the inside. An empty mess of a woman who knew what would come.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Cam," I gave one last heart-wrenching wave before driving home. Lost in my thoughts, lost within myself, wishing he'd meet me there. But I knew, in the state he's in, I'd be alone.
Miserably. Alone.
I pulled into my assigned parking spot and hugged my steering wheel like I wished I could hug Cam. And cried my eyes out at the loss of him. At the loss of everything, I knew in the past few months. I knew it, deep down. It's over.
I knew in my heart, he's gone.
His book.
Him.
And us? Well.....
●●●●●●●●
"God, you look like shit! Are you sleeping?" Hope touched my face with concern until I slapped her away.
"In short---no," I grumbled outside the courtroom.
It was the end of week two. The whole trial was ending. Each side presented their closing arguments. Justin's side had admitted he had done the crime, but now was their time to convince them he had no choice. That Ray, his accomplice, was the mastermind behind it all. And forced Justin into hitting Cam. Justin was looking at first-degree murder. Among other charges, with no possibility of parole.
"You can't let this whole situation get to you. Is—is it him? Or is it what you said to Mom because Jesus we all need your guts. You're our savior that woman hasn't said a word to us in two weeks! It's a Halloween miracle!" She whispered, pulling me to a more private location.
I licked my lips. I had come into this whole situation with high hopes that I could help, but it was only dragging me down. Down into the deepest, darkest realm of depression. Where no light could shine through to bring me back above water. I only saw Cam during the actual trial now, he stopped coming over. He stopped texting me. And calling me. I missed him, everything about him. Terribly. I wanted to hold him in my arms. But I was so conflicted. He couldn't love me, not with this all going on. But goddamn I had such strong feelings for him.
"It's not mom. I don't regret that. It's----I love him," I whispered, averting my eyes down in shame.
"Now—don't make me be the bad sis---"
"Shut up! She doesn't need your negativity right now. She needs hugs and assurance." I grimaced when Faith wrapped her arms around me and snuggled me close like a toddler who was crying.
"Too much hugging," I choked out, and she pulled back cupping my face as a sensible sister would.
"You love him?" She asked in a soft soothing voice as if I were her baby. I had a love/hate relationship with this side of her. She could coo me like a baby and I'd still want to slap her silly. Ahhh---sisters.
"Yeah---but I think it's over between us." She placed a weird kiss on my forehead and then thumped it hard rattling my brain. "Owww! You brat!!!" I hissed, holding my forehead tight.
"Fine tough love," Faith said backing away, folding her arms across her chest.
"You really think after this whole emotional roller coaster he's going through he's just going to fall to his knees and profess his love to you?" Hope asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"I'm not an idiot!" I stomped my foot into the ground for dramatic effect. "I know what he's going through. I've watched him spiral these past few months. I guess---I guess I just miss him. Does that make me selfish?"
They both shrugged their shoulders identically. "It's not selfish to miss him. I mean he obviously cares a lot about you. No other guy would share what he's shared with you if he didn't trust you." Faith said.
"Yeah—I mean, maybe you need to give him some space? Let him deal with this on his own? Maybe he doesn't want you to see him this bad?" Hope said.
"Yeah," I breathed out.
Cam wasn't doing well and even that sounded like an understatement.
The more the trial went on, the more I could tell he'd been drinking. Not just a beer here and there, more like a 30 pack every night kind of drunk. Since his testimony was out of the way and he knew he wouldn't take the stand again. He came hungover. Or drunk over. Your choice. I saw how tired he was in the eyes. How worn down his bright soul had become. Almost squashing the bright light of life inside of him completely. And it broke my heart, shattered it into a million pieces because I felt useless. I couldn't make him feel better. I couldn't do a damn thing to lift his spirits or take the pain from him.
"You, uh, coming?" I felt his presence before he spoke beside me and I nodded.
"Nice to see you, girls, again," he politely gestured to my sisters.
"See you guys in there," I said giving a small wave.
And with that, I sat with Cam again. Me on one side and his sister on another. He took both our hands this time, squeezing the life out of them as each side laid out their closing statements. The trial was ending.
But this meant the end of many things in a way. The trial. Cam finished his book, and I was on the last few pages of editing. If the trial and everything else was any sign of how this would end.
It was all over.
At 5:00 pm Justin's fate was sealed. The jury of 12, composed of his peers, found him guilty on all the charges brought against him. The whole courtroom exploded in cheers as they led him away. All but my mother and her stupid husband, who cried. Cam hugged me hard, crushing me against him in pure joy and I hugged him back. Knowing that this was it.
After saying our goodbyes, I went back to my empty apartment. And it was just that—empty. No noises erupted from the couch where he usually sat typing away. No noises came from the bedroom in the form of groans and moans. I mean—at least my neighbors were looking me in the eyes again. But god damn, I'm lonely. I missed him. I missed his laugh. I missed his stupid smile. I was in over my head with feelings, drowning in a steady filling pool of hurt. But my sisters were right. I could miss him and want him back, but he was drowning too. In a painful pool of shit, I'd never understood.
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So...I looked and there are only 4 more chapters left in this story.....Kinda sad it's ending. But i might have something else up my sleeve. 🤷♀️
Anyways! Any predictions on how this will end? I'm curious!
And as always, thank you for reading, commenting, and favoriting each chapter. It means the world. ❤❤
Xoxo
Aly