Who's pov do you enjoy the most?
Inside, kellin is sitting at the kitchen table.
His body is slouched and his face is against the wood. He fell asleep sitting here. Kellin's hair Is wet and he's now wearing a green tank top.
The position he's in can't be to comfortable. I go over to him and scoop him up into my arms. "Want to go to bed?" I ask him as he looks at me confused.
"No, I'm not tired," he says and puts his head on my shoulder. Almost falling asleep. Justin is just watching us with a smile. Kellin hasn't noticed justin yet.
"Do you want to sit oh the couch?" I ask the sleepy boy. He clings to me tightly.
"No shut up and carry me," he says and I smile. I could carry him all day but I have to cook and I need both hands for that.
"Love how about I set you down on the couch, you can take a nap and when I'm done cooking I'll wake you up and carry you all you want," I ask trying to make him a good deal.
"Noo, how about you forget about food and go fuck me on my bed?" He says and I blush.
"Um yeah, no. Dont forget about food," justin says and kellin looks surprised but still sleepy. Kellin straightens his legs and I set him down.
"Fine, I'll be in the living room if you need me," he says and they leave the dinning room.
-
Its 8pm now and kellin's cleaning the kitchen. I tried to make him let me clean it but he said he had too because I cleaned it after breakfast and lunch.
Justin gestures for me to follow him, Stopping me from watching kellin. Once we are in the living room he smiles. "He said he likes you! I've never heard him talk to good about someone before until he talked about you. If you break his heart I'll have to break your face but you won't be doing that right?" Justin says happily and excitedly.
Kellin likes me, that makes my skin feel warm. I feel myself smile and I cant help it. This news makes me feel so good and happy.
"I wont break his heart. Thank you for telling me," I say and we hug. It's a guy hug, not like how we are kellin hug.
Kellin walks in and gives us a disgusted look. "Gross, that's so gay," he says with a fake disgusted look but laughs and little.
We've already stopped hugging so I go over to kellin. I'm surprised it hasn't thundered at all today but I'm glad because that just means kellin doesn't have to be scared.
"I'm going to go back, I'm probably going to be in so much trouble," justin announces.
"Oli can you give him a ride? He's to stubborn to ask and it's too far to walk," kellin asks me and justin starts refusing.
"Yeah, you're going be safe here alome?" I ask.
"Yeah I'm going to sleep I'm tired," he says and hugs us both short and says bye. We tell him goodbye and leave.
-
Kellin's pov
In my room I stretch out my body and go over all my stretches. When I'm done I get on my phone to put work out music, I see Bring Me The Horizon.
I turn it on and let it play through my earbuds. The first song that comes on is 'Happy Song'. I grab my journal and rip a page out and write 'in the gym' and set it on my be. Just in case he wants to say something before going to sleep.
I make my way to the gym room in my house and get on a treadmill and start running. Its 10 so I'll run for a hour and then do my abs and butt workouts. I should be done before 1am. I didn't work out yesterday or so I have to make it up tonight.
After my run my legs feel like noodles when I get of the treadmill but I ignore it. I get down on my work or mat and do 50 pushups, 50 situps, 50 jumping jacks, and 50 squats and then I repeat it 3 more time. When I start my second set of pushups I see glance over to see Oli has been standing in the doorway watching me.
I dont know how long he's been there but I try to ignore him, I can't hear him- well actually, I can. I'm listening to a song of his called 'oh no' I have it on repeat because it's easy to work out too. It has a good rythm I work my body to.
After my 50th (100th if you count all) pushup I flip over so I'm on my back and slowly in my head count to 30 and for a rest and then I start doing sit ups. I look over and see Oli still watching me.
I never have people watch me exercise. Do I look silly? I try to ignore him and it's kinda easy because working out takes construction. Well at least for me it does. My stomach burns but I push through the pain.
I dont care about pain, I've endured way more mental or physical pain this this. This is nothing. After situps are jumping jacks. I feel kinda silly doing these knowing oli is watching so I turn so I dont have to look at him.
Squats are my favorite, they hurt the least and I could probably do way more if I wanted but I like to keep everything the same number and I cant do more than 50 sit ups at a time.
After my squats I stop and take out my earbuds. I have 100 of each left, halfway done. But I'll give myself a 5 minute stretch break because I feel tight and that's never good. I dont want to accidentally pull a muscle.
As I stretch my legs I look at Oliver who is now sitting on a bench just watching me. "Like the view?" I ask as I'm bending down touching the floor with my legs straight so I can stretch my calfs and legs.
"Very, are you done working out?" He asks watching me stretch everything out.
"Nope, I just needed to stretch a bit before I end up hurting myself," I say and feel like I need to stretch my stomach. I hope he doesn't think I'm showing off. I do a back bend and feel my stomach and thighs being stretch.
"Do you normally work out this much?" He asks.
I stand back up and get on my hands and knees, I'm about to get back to pushups. "I usually run for a hour in the morning and then do this routine at night not both at the same time but I didn't run in the morning so I just added it in," I say and get my earbuds ready to be put back in.
"You dont mind if I watch right?" He asks and I put one in.
"I dont care, just dont judge me," I say and put the other earbud in and start doing my 50 pushups. I close my eyes as I do them and pay attention to how Oliver sounds singing 'true friends'.
I really love these songs he sings. He puts deep lyrics in every song and I love that. It's like I'm getting to know him even more. Sweat is dripping down my arms onto my mat making me have to wipe my hands on my sweatpants every once in a while.
-
Once I'm done working out and stretching one last time I take out my earbuds and put them in my pocket. Everything feels like noodles.
I'm going to fall asleep taking a bath, I'm so tired. But I have to take a bath, I'm hot and sweaty. I'm so worked up I want to make out with Oli but I know I'll get too into it and I'm too exhausted to do some bedroom exercises.
Plus I'm sweaty, he probably thinks I'm gross. He's wearing sweatpants and a tank top, he's so hot. I go up to him and he bites his lip. He stands up and surprises me by pressing his lips to my own.
I kiss back and grab onto his hips. His hands go to my ass and squeezes. I his him harder and he pins me to a wall and the kiss is far from sweet and innocent. He shifts and I can feel that he's hard.
I am too, this is to hot not to be. His hands roam my body. I pull away needing air and he kisses my neck, I'm so sweaty why isnt he bother by this?
"I-I need to take a bath, I'm exhausted," I tell him and get surprised by him picking me up and connecting our lips. I kiss back and a few moments later he pulls away and takes up to my pink bathroom.
"Can I take a bath with you?" He asks and I know it's not going to be innocent. With a smile I nod and kiss him aggressively. He doesn't miss a beat and kisses me more dominantly.
"Wait," I pull away and start the bath and pour bubble bath in and then go back to him. He takes of my shirt and connects our lips. I love how his lips move against mine.
I help him out of his shirt and he shoves my pants down. I kick them off and help him out of his. We hungrily make out for a while until he gets into the bath and pulls me with him.
He sits down and I straddle his hips and kiss him. I'm so tired already but I dont care. "Let me ride you," I say and look at him for permission.
"Please do," he mumbles against my skin and kisses my neck. I scoot farther down on him. I should be stretched and take it slow but I don't care. Pain can make sex feel better.
His tip presses against my entrance and I bit my lip. This is going to hurt, its been at least a year since I've bad sex. I let myself sink down on to him letting out a whimper and shut my eyes tight as I feel him fill be up.
He's much bigger than I've ever had. I open my eyes to see Oli is looking at me with lust in his eyes. I move slowly up and down trying to get the pain to calm. He doesn't take control he just watches my face. I'm making so sexual faces on accident.
After a few moments the pain starts to turn to pleasure and I go a bit faster. Oliver smirks and grabs me by the hips and helps me bounce on top of him. A girlish moan escapes my lips and soon he's hitting that one bundled of nerves in me making me sound like a porn star.
He's mostly quiet but his face and body movements let me know he's enjoying this. Waters splashing around us with ever thrust. Water starts splashing out so I turn off the water and he thrusts in me as he holds my hips tightly. I'm sure I'll have marks on my hips tomorrow.
"O-oli, oh, god you feel so goo-d" I moan out as he hits my prostate.
"I like how vocal you are love," he says in a smooth deep voice. I moan as I feel like I'm on cloud 9.
"O-oh! Fu~ck," I curse feeling my stomach tighten. All of this pleasure is bringing me to my peak.
"I'm g-going to cum," I moan out and he moans and bites his bottom lip. He starts thrusting harder and sloppily into me. He grabs my dick and starts jerking me off as I bounce on his cock. Moans echo through the room and I put my hands on his shoulders.
Pleasure rushes through my entire body and he sends me over the edge and I climax into his hand but the water washes it away. He thrusts into me a few more times and I feel him reach his peak inside of me. His eyes flutter closed and he moans deeply.
God he's so fucking hot. When he's done thrusting into me I lift myself off of him weakly and lay on him. I'm so fucking exhausted but I dont regret it.
He run his fingers up and down my back and then trailed then across my scars. He sits up and makes me switch spots with him. He makes me lay in the water and he gets my hair wet but careful not to get water on my face.
Then he gets my shampoo and squirts it in his hands, just how I did not long ago. I blush and he sits me up starts washing my hair. He's so sweet. He washes me completely and then up plugs the bath. But I'm still soapy?
He makes me get up and he picks me up and goes into the walk I'm showing with a sliding glass door. Oh. He doesn't put me down as soon as he turns on the water. He stands there and let's the water rise us off. I rinse my hair and wipe soap off of us helping the shower.
"Can you stand?" He asks.
No, my whole body is sore and my ass hurts like hell. I shake my head no and he smirks at me. I pout and after a few minutes he turns off the water.
He sets me down and I hold on to him for support. He grabs a towel and drys me off a little before wrapping me In it. He does the same for himself but wraps his around his waist.
He picks me up and walks me to my bed. He sets me down on the edge of the bed and goes to my dresser.
Oliver comes back with panties, thigh highs, and a oversized tshirt. He dresses me in them and then leaves the room and comes back in a different pair of sweatpants. He helps me get in bed and he looks a bit confused.
"Sleep with me?" I ask and his confusion goes away and he smiles. Tomorrow night my parents will be back.. this is the last night I get to sleep in his arms.
Will Danielle be mad if I permanently replaced her for Oliver?
I fall asleep instantly when he's holding me. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow..
When I wake up in Oliver's arms in the morning I feel warm. I'm completely content with this moment. I don't feel scared, paranoia seems to leave me alone when I'm with Oli.
Mainly I'm scared of someone hurting me, that's my deepest fear. Oliver has been giving me the impression that he doesn't want to hurt me and that he actually wants to protect me.
Everything fear I have is because I don't want to go through what I've already gone through. The dark? I'm scared someone will attack me in the dark and I'll be 100% defenseless. Needles? I'm scared the doctor is poisoning me.
In the public I think someone is going to attack me.. I have good reasons for being scared.
I cant take someone hurting me again.. have I fucked up by letting Oli in my trust? Wont he be like everyone else? He's going to hurt me one day.. everyone does. Why would he be different?
Everything is sore like I expected. I've been getting less sore after each workout but having sex made it 100 times worse. Maybe I need to add that to my workout.
I've never really had a lot of sex in my life. Only with Danny and it was always him that started it. In high school I gave lots of blowjobs for people to get them on my side or do my work. I even gave teachers blowjobs so I could pass or avoid getting written up.
So what me and Oliver did is really special.. I know he doesn't see it as special but I do. I'm sure he thinks I've had a lot of sex with lots of people but that's not the case. I'm too scared of people seeing my body to have sex.
My parents always called me a slut, whore, bitch, and even word that could hurt me. I believed them. I still do believe them a little but I know nobody should be treated like that.
I know I deserve better than how they treated me. That's why I'm getting better. I'm trying to move forward in life. Well, no not forward. I feel like I'm going sideways in life. I'm getting worse and better at the same time.
I'm getting away from my past but I'm locking myself in a house and forgetting about the bad evil world. I know it's not good to not have friends but I'm satisfied with my parents and Danielle. Now I have Oliver so I'm not lonely anymore.
Yeah I miss people like justin, jack, tony, and gabe but they don't care about me. Well justin kinda does, he's my best friend. But, I believe I'm strong enough to survive without them.
Maybe I need to stop surviving and start living.. okay I need a set of goals.
1. Stop being so scared
2. Be okay with trusting people
3. Get outside more
4. Feel okay to talk people I trust about my past
5. Know it's my past not future
6. Get sleeping with sirens back together
That's my list of goals right now. I'll work on it slowly but gradually. Get outside more seems the easiest but it's still really hard. Well Friday I'll be going out on a picnic so that's a start. Then a week from then I'm going to see my sister.
If those don't go horribly wrong I'll let Oliver take me out more, but I know I can't go alone.
Too scary.