I was in complete shock. I didn't know what to say, I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had my husband on the phone and the person who I had grown to adore standing in front of me confused about what was happening. "Monroe? Are you going to answer me?"
I heard Chase's angry voice fill my ears, I looked to Tobias for answers as if he could solve all of my problems. I wanted to tell Chase that I was with someone who I'm interested in, someone who makes me feel alive, someone who makes me feel wanted in every single way. But I couldn't because I'm a coward. "Um Chase, I - I'm with -"
"Why are you stuttering Monroe? It's a simple question. Who. Are. You. With?"
My heart was pounding, my chest was tightening, I was on the brink of a panic attack. I didn't know what to say, I wasn't prepared for this, I was caught completely off-guard.
But what was scaring me the most way the expression on Tobias' face, I could see the disappointment in his eyes, I know he didn't want to be my dirty little secret and I didn't want that for him either. He is way too special to be hidden. I breathed a deep sigh before announcing "Chase, I've met someone who -"
Before I could finish my sentence, I saw Tobias' eyes grow wide and him mouth to me 'Let me speak to him.' I was hesitant to give him the phone, he put his hand out for the phone and again mouthed 'baby trust me.'
I closed my eyes before making the decision but I had to listen to my heart. So I handed him the phone "Mr. Bishop, this is Tobias' Wrexler. The photographer that did her shoot the other day - Yeah, she's with me - You're talking to me because your wife was unsure how you'd take this -"
I looked at him with fear in my eyes, he was to tell him before I was ready to. I knew my feelings for Tobias were strong but I also knew that I wanted my marriage broken down on my terms and that, I wasn't ready for.
I looked at Tobias and shook my head pleading with him. He looked directly into my eyes, I saw a smile reach his and instantly I knew he wasn't going to tell him just yet.
He put his hand in his pocket and looked down, hesitating before finally saying "Your wife has been interested in photography for a while, we got to talking and I decided that I want to mentor her. She came by my studio today and took a few shots and she's a natural. She wants to do something for herself and I can help her with that -" he looked back over to me with a small smile on his face.
I was shocked at the words coming out of Tobias' mouth, he listened he really listened. I couldn't help but feel butterflies in my stomach, I knew this was the worst timing but I knew at that moment my feelings for Tobias had grown tenfold watching him talk about my dreams as if they meant everything to him.
On the other hand, I was even more shocked that he had every opportunity to tear my marriage down piece by piece and have me all to himself but he chose to let me make that decision. And that was, by far the most selfless gesture I had ever seen.
I watched him talk to Chase with ease, I knew Tobias was executing this flawlessly and I knew Chase would believe every word.
I had stopped listening for a while as Tobias had me mesmorised yet again, I only came out of my trance when he looked back over to me before announcing. "As my apprentice and intern, she will be coming with me for 3 weeks of my 3 month business trip. I'm spending a month in each country and I want her there at least week in each place - Yeah. She's excited about it and so am I. She will call you tomorrow, we will be working through the night going through the pictures."
I was astonished at what he was saying, he wants to take me away with him, is this even real? I knew that this was all a ruse for Chase but I hoped that everything he was saying was true.
I felt my heart smile at the fact that he remembered the little I told him about my passion for photography, he took everything I said in his stride and made sure to place it in his memory bank and that, meant the world to me.
In all the years I was with Chase, he didn't even know about my interest in photography and even if he did, it was never important to him. But it was important to Tobias and even knowing that made my heart flutter.
My feelings were growing rapidly in this moment, not because he was lying for me but because he was as selfless as they come, he did this for me. I didn't know how I was going to repay him for such an act but I knew I had to try.
Pulling me out of my thoughts, I heard Tobias "He wants to talk to you, I'll give you some privacy." His face was painted in hurt and I couldn't bear to see it. I shook my head at him, took the phone, placed it to my ear and before he could walk away I grabbed hold of his hand.
This wasn't much but I needed him to hear what I had to say to Chase. "Chase before you say anything I'm going to keep this short. Our whole relationship I have lived for you but now I'm choosing to live for me. Photography is something I want to do so I'm going to do it, with Tobias' help. He recognises my dreams and I can't thank him enough for that -"
I looked to Tobias with tears pooling in my eyes, I wanted him to feel what I was saying and hear my unspoken words. Chase's angry tone become muffled as I looked into Tobias' eyes and caught his contagious smile.
"Monroe, you can't be serious. I need you -" those final words brought me back to the conversation at hand. My smile immediately evaporated "- no Chase, you don't need me. You never needed me, Luxe is enough for you -" I blinked away the tears.
"I won't be coming back to your house for a while, I need some time to think about what I really want. I need to start putting myself first and Tobias is helping me do that." Tobias let out a deep breath before using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away my tears.
I leant into his soft hands as I closed my eyes and finally let out a sigh of relief. "Goodbye Chase." I hung up the phone before I could hear the rest of his speech, I turned my phone off and dropped it out of my hand without a second thought.
The only thing on my mind was Tobias and how I wanted to be in his embrace. Like a moth to a flame, I closed the gap between us, I looked over all of his beautiful features before focusing my gaze on his soft lips.
He licked his lips and hungrily snaked his hand around the nape of neck before fisting my hair, I mirrored his movements, latched my hand into his wavy locks and finally pulling his lips onto mine.
The harmonious movements of our lips were as if they were choreographed. I had never felt so in sync with another person before. Tobias pours every emotion into our kisses, they were beautiful, hypnotising and undeniably romantic.
His grip in my hair tightened as the kiss depended, he was spelling out everything he felt for me with his greedy kiss. But all too soon the kiss slowed, lip by lip he detached from me as we both struggled to catch our breaths before opening our eyes.
Looking into his darkening eyes took my breath away, I had so much to say but I struggled to know where to start, my breathlessness was a struggle to move past and I needed him to give me my breath back. "Breathe Monroe, it's okay. It's over now -"
"Tobias, you - you had every opportunity to break up my marriage and have me all to yourself. Why did you do that? I have to know." I questioned him with as much sorrow as I could because I was sorry, I was so sorry for not being able to be for him and only him on paper. I could be with him every other way but under the eyes of god I was someone else's and I couldn't help but feel the guilt for Tobias. "I'm sorry Tobias, I am so so sorry."
I shuddered, holding back the tears. His grip completely loosened on my hair and smoothly moved to my cheek, I felt the soft pad of his thumb stroke my skin giving me goosebumps all over.
"Monroe, I only just met you and already I'd do anything for you. I want you in every way you know that but it would it be selfish of me to force something on you that you aren't ready for. You have nothing to be sorry about."
"No, Tobias I do." I pulled out of his grip, not being able to look into his eyes without tearing up. I looked away from him and wrapped my arms around myself. "I'm sorry for not being able to completely shed my marriage yet. I'm sorry that I still have some love for Chase. I'm sorry that I can't scream to the world that I'm yours." I felt my voice crack with those final words.
I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist, he gently kissed my neck as I leaned my head back onto his chest.
"And I want to thank you but I don't know how. I have so many things to thank you for; for understanding my situation, for fighting for me, for not pushing me into things I'm not ready, and for showing me that there is better out there."
With those words I swivelled in his arms now facing him, I cupped his face in my hands. "And thank you for believing in my dreams." He smiled with so much unspoken words on his lips.
"You have nothing to be sorry about and you don't need to thank me. And I meant everything that I said to Chase, I want to mentor you not just to whisk you away with me -" He smirked at me before placing a light peck on my lips.
"- but because I saw the way you look at my prize possession. I can see that you want this and I want to help you get there. I believe in you, I believe in us and from what you said to Chase I know you do too." I looked down bashfully feeling the butterflies painfully fluttering in my stomach.
"I do, I really do. It's just not going to be easy, Chase isn't done with me but I want to be done with him, for you and for me."
My sudden revelation that I had finally said out loud was now real and as much as it terrified me I was excited. I was so many steps forward and even though it took Tobias coming into my life to be able to take those steps, I couldn't be happier. He was opening up my eyes to the things I never wanted to see with Chase but needed to.
He pulled back with a large smirk on his face as his eyes shone but I wasn't done talking, I had so much more to say. "I can't promise that I'll divorce him today, tomorrow or even next week but I now see that this marriage was not meant for him and I. You won't be my dirty little secret, I don't want that for you but I just need some time, okay?"
He nodded his head as he took in my words. "There's only so long that I can handle being your dirty little secret before I start believing that you're embarrassed of me." He chuckled at his joke, I couldn't help but smile as I placed my hands on his firm chest. "I could never be embarrassed of you Tobias."
He slid his hands down to my hips, carressing every curve as he passed them. "Glad to hear that. So, when do I get to take you out on a real date? I mean, I think that would be the gentlemanly thing to do before I take you to Paris, Rome and Marrakech for our 'business trip' next month'"
I felt my nerves take hold of me as I gulped re-hearing what he had just said. "Tobias, of course I'd love to go on a date with you -" he rolled his eyes before asking "but what Monroe?" He took his hands off of me in frustration and began walking away as he spoke "You know, you're really great at making excuses to not do things you really want to. I just want to take you out on a date babe, please just let me."
My heart crumbled as I felt his frustration "Tobias -" I sighed "this is all so new to me, I haven't dated in a long time and it scares me a lot." I walked over to him and stood in his view.
"There is no if, ands or buts. I want to go on this date with you okay?" His face softened with concern as he studied me, he waited for me to continue. "I'm just nervous about going away together after a month of possibly dating. I want to do this right, so can we just put a pin in it for now and see how things go. This is not a no."
"But it's not a yes." He put his head down as he took in my words "And you said possibly dating? You already have doubts that we will even last a month?" I violently shook my head as I saw the way he took what I said. "No. no, I don't have any doubts about you. I have doubts about me, I have doubts that I'll ever be worthy of you Tobias. I'm still learning about this self-love stuff and it's going to take a while but I'll get there."
His face softened as he understood what I meant. "You will get there and it's me, who isn't worthy of you. One day you're going to realise that -" he whispered that last part and I was going to question what he meant but he stopped me with his lips latching onto mine. I instantly melted into him as his body pressed against mine. His kiss slowed but was still so passionate.
"So when -" Kiss.
"- can I -" Kiss.
" - take you -" Kiss.
" - on a date?" He gently tugged my lip between his teeth causing me to smile brightly. "Well, as I don't have a job I am pretty much accessible to you at any time." I smirked as he groaned "But unfortunately, that will mean I need clothes so I'll have to go to Chase's tomorrow while he is at work and pack up my stuff."
His mood dimmed hearing that I had to go back "Don't argue with me on this but if you're going to get your stuff, then I am going to take you. I don't like the idea of him possibly being there after your conversation today, he is definitely still angry." There it was again, that delicious dominating tone of his. I mean, how could I argue with that? Especially when all he wanted to do was protect me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed a slow kiss on his neck "Fine Mr.Wrexler but after that -" I say emphasising the T "- you can take me out for our first date." He growled discreetly but just loud enough for me to hear and causing a pool of heat rise in my stomach. "Mmm. Well looks like we will be having a night together. You're staying with me tonight and hopefully tomorrow night after our date."
I dramatically faked a gasp "That is very presumptuous. I have a house of my own that I may have wanted to stay in." He nodded his head slowly before seductively biting his lip. "Well tonight you're staying here with me because I will not be letting you go but tomorrow... I was just being hopeful and I know you won't be staying here tomorrow night."
He shrugged and my mood quickly changed. "You don't want me here tomorrow after our date?" I pulled a loose strand of hair behind my ear as I got anxious. He playfully smirked at me "No. I don't want you here after our date." He said with finality and instantly my heart dropped in disappointment but before I could say anything, his hands grabbed a firm hold of my ass causing me to gasp.
"I told you, this is my home away from home. But I want you with me in the one place that is everything to me." His voice was layered with seduction but I wasn't listening to his tone, I listened to his words and my heart pounded wildly at the thought of him bringing me somewhere so special. "Now let's get you out of these clothes and into something more comfortable."
It was as if I felt my pupils dilate at his words, images of me being underneath his perfectly sculpted body flashed through my mind. He gave me a devious smirk as he watched my body shift in arousal.
"At least buy me a drink first." He sent me a playful wink. "I just meant I wanted you in one of my shirts with preferably nothing underneath but I guess we can settle with a thong."
I licked my lips, feeling the pool of dampness in my thong, every time he made me aroused confidence surged through my body. I began walking away before seductively turning around, flipping my hair over my shoulders before announcing. "I prefer to sleep naked."