CHAPTER 16
We did not truly leave, we merely relocated to another area of the world and stared, dumbfounded at each other.
Raphael sunk to the ground, eyes wide with astonishment, “How did he?”
“Why would he?” Gabriel hissed.
Uriel started to pace, “What Eve said troubles me.”
“Troubles?” Michael hissed. “That is not the word I would use to describe what just happened.”
“Are they truly so much more powerful than we?” Seraqual murmured.
“They are applying their strengths to things we never contemplated.” Raquel muttered as he joined Uriel in pacing.
I just stood there, silent. There were no words for me. I had tried to prevent this. That moment when I first felt an abyss opening below me, when Gabriel and I had spoken after Lillith first awakened. It seemed so distant while simultaneously feeling like it happened mere hours ago. Every moment, every word, every incident between then and now, I sifted through them, searching for an answer, a reason. Nothing came to me. No reason, no answer, no logic could be twisted and bent to fit what I had just witnessed.
“It is over brothers,” I said. I could not look at them as I spoke. I fixed my eyes on the horizon, searching for a reason out among the distant planets.
Uriel stopped pacing and lowered his head, “Is there nothing left Remiel? Nothing we can do?”
“We cannot kill Lucifer or Elohim and destroying Lillith, Adam or Eve will only enrage them further.” I stated. “We leave this planet to them, to their hate of each other. We must move on and do what we can elsewhere while protecting the rest of creation from them. Lucifer's statement that Elohim's hate of him will keep Elohim from spreading his madness seems accurate, for now. A few eons from now, we cannot know.” I shrugged and looked at Michael. “Your option is all that is left Michael.”
“Both of them disgust me at this point,” Michael replied. “The less I have to do with either of them the better. What about those winged abominations that Elohim created?”
“Leave them to me.” Lucifer's voice echoed in our minds. I saw him first. He had chosen to appear a fair distance away from us but well within my line of sight. “Farewell brothers,” he continued. “If you are ever forced to come in conflict with me in the future, I will bear you no ill will. My choices brought me here. If there are to be further consequences I accept them.” He did not flare his aura or make any grand displays. He merely looked at each of us in turn, nodded once and left.
We took one last look at this world that had held such great joy for us and one by one we left without any further words.
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If you have read this in full I realize it must shock you, confuse you and perhaps even enrage you. It is the truth, which is rarely of true comfort. I will share one more truth with you and it will be even less comforting than what has preceded it. It was not Lucifer that tainted Eve. It was Lillith and it happened completely by accident.
It took years before I was able to bring myself to contemplate speaking to Lucifer again. Perhaps you wonder how I could after everything that had transpired. He was my brother and had been since the first sun flared into existence, I could no more disavow him then I could sever a limb from myself. Several of the others were less forgiving than I, but I never pushed them either way. Aside from missing my brother, I found I felt a nagging curiosity to see what Lillith had accomplished. I missed her joy of life and excitement. My tasks held little joy or sense of accomplishment for me anymore. There were so many things I could not complete since we could not truly bring animals into existence, not without Elohim. That was why I found myself reaching out to find her or Lucifer one day and sending myself to them.
For whatever reason Lucifer was not concealing their presence. I chose to send a thought out to Lucifer before fully manifesting in front of them. He may not want to see me and I had no idea what had transpired between he and Elohim after we had left.
“Lucifer?” There was a considerable pause before he replied.
“Remiel? Why are you speaking to me? Has something happened?” He was not angry with me but he was wary.
I felt uncomfortable speaking to him. As if I was intruding somewhere I was not wanted. “No. I...”
“Yes?”
“I...wish to see you and Lillith.” Once I got the words out it seemed utterly foolish to have said them. What came back to me wasn't words, it was a sense of relief, of sadness and an invitation. “If that will be acceptable to both of you of course.”
“Yes. Lillith would love to see you...and...” he paused.
My foolishness left me and was replaced by a hint of joy. “Thank you.” I sent myself to them and before I even finished solidifying my form Lillith had thrown her arms around me.
“Remiel!” That joy of life that I had remembered was still there. I returned her embrace and stepped back to look at them, and was rendered instantly speechless when I did so. Lillith's stomach was much larger than I remembered, she had a flower tucked into her hair and had fashioned a rough skirt and shirt from grasses and plants. Lucifer had changed as well, he had taken a truly human form, complete with what was needed to mate with Lillith. He was still one of us, still had his power but it seemed somehow muted within him.
I forced myself to remain civil, “Lillith. It is lovely to see you again. What is this you have on?”
“It helps keep the biting things off of me,” she replied. “And the sun when it is hot. Neither of those things seem to bother Lucifer though.” A shade of guilt crossed her face but she continued explaining why she was clothed, “I wanted to be more colorful as well, like the birds,” She smiled, “They have always been my favorite thing you created. How long are you staying? We have both missed you.” One of her arms casually wrapped around Lucifer's waist and he briefly leaned into her.
“I am not sure. It appears there are many things that have happened while I have been away.”
Lucifer caught my meaning as did Lillith who placed her other hand on her stomach. She looked up at him, then back at me. “Do not be angry Remiel, please,” she pleaded.
Lucifer removed her arm from his waist and stepped away, “Perhaps Remiel and I should speak first. We will be back soon.” He walked past me a few steps and waited. “Remiel, I know you do not owe me or us a hearing.” he said softly, “Once all of you left I accepted that I would never see any of you again.”
I took a few moments to try to understand what that would be like for him. He and Lillith were bonded so completely and with Adam's new mate taking Lillith's place at his side it should not have shocked me that this had occurred. I tried to set aside what I was feeling as I joined him. He looked at me and I gestured that he should lead the way, gold eyes captured mine as a small, nervous grin brought a slight curve to his mouth.
“How has Elohim not hurt you in this form?”
“This? This is merely a shell. I am still as I was. He has tried, failed and returned to that forest to accept Adam and Eve's adulation. At least he did until he cast them out.”
I was not entirely sure coming back had been the best idea. I was certainly not up to these many shocks all at once, “What? Why? What did you do?”
He laughed, it was a rather bitter sounding one, “I had little to do with it. It appears Eve likes to explore the world around her and had somehow evaded the guardians who were supposed to keep her from tainting. She saw Lillith weaving those garments she wears. Lillith spotted Eve hiding in the bushes, shaking in fear while wanting to learn and invited her closer.”
“You never informed Lillith to avoid Eve?”
“Why would I do that?” he asked, “After I corrupted his winged thing Elohim took them all deep into those woods. He made more of the winged ones, which I entertained myself by turning against him for some time,” he paused and looked around. Then bent over and plucked a plant from the ground. “She likes to eat the root from these. For some time I kept quite a distance away from Lillith. I felt that it was best in case he ever created something that was an actual threat to me. I did not want her to get caught in the midst of a battle. After several years it appeared that all he truly cared about was having things worship him, praise him and endlessly thank him for creating them.
Adam and Eve as well as those winged things were wholly under his control and he seemed content with that. I grew tired of watching it so chose to spend more time with Lillith. In all the years I had watched them Eve had never strayed far from Adam or Elohim and I would never put limits on what Lillith could and could not do. It seems that Eve grew tired of the endless worship of Elohim and went looking for adventure. That's when she found Lillith. It was as I told him from the beginning, you cannot force love. It must be given and earned. Lillith taught Eve, who returned with her new skills to Adam. I knew the moment Elohim had spotted Eve wearing her garments. A rather large amount of trees shattered in the deepest part of the woods.” His nervous grin from earlier was replaced by something much more sinister and cold. “He shouted my name and came for me. See those mountains in the distance?” He pointed off to the east. “They used to be much taller. I destroyed several of his guardians and our battle lasted several days.”
“You two fought and we did not sense it? How?” The two of them battling for days should have ripped the world apart.
“Elohim knows that if all of you were to get involved it would not go well for him. We hid ourselves from you as we battled and both of us chose to not do anything too destructive. He threatened Lillith several times during those days, then something happened.” He stopped walking and turned to face me with a guarded expression. “She hid herself from him, somehow she discovered a way to manipulate the energy around her. Perhaps she has seen me do it so many times while I transported her from place to place that she learned how. When she did that he flew into an even greater rage, which is when those mountains were almost destroyed. Then he returned to where Adam and Eve were, cast them out and charged his winged guardians to keep them out. Lillith feels as if she is to blame for their misfortune. She tried to help them after wards but Adam chased her away, blaming her and Eve for destroying what had been perfect. Since then she has avoided them. They are off to the west somewhere.”
He stopped speaking, “And the rest?” I asked, too numb from everything he had said so far to really form any actual thoughts.
“Yes, the rest,” he took a deep breath before he continued. “When she hid herself from Elohim, I had to acknowledge that what I gifted her with had made her something much beyond what she had been intended to be. You are already aware of how I feel towards her. Once the battle with Elohim was over and he had cast out Adam and Eve she came to me and asked if we were truly all that different. She had seen the winged things Elohim created, felt my pain when we battled and hid herself from both Elohim and his guardians.” He looked away from me, back towards the direction we had come from, back to her. “She pointed out that her teaching Eve had resulted in a similar outcome as my teaching of her did. Neither of us meant harm, but intentions and outcomes are rarely linked together it seems. I told her that I fully intended to corrupt anything Elohim would make and she stated that she believed as I did, that no living thing should be controlled by another. It was at that moment that I created this shell.” He gestured towards his much more human self.
I was barely able to form words, “Her offspring Lucifer, your offspring. Have you given no thought to them? Do you even know what they will be? What they will be capable of?”
“How would I know such things Remiel?” His eyes returned to mine, there was no shame, no regret in them. Just resolve. “Elohim no longer brings creations to life. Our original calling is truly meaningless without that. You feel it. I can see it in your face, feel it within you. Yet life still goes on, does it not? The universe still functions, still grows, still breathes. In this form, with this shell, she and I can create something still. Something unique and beautiful. Do you understand?”
I wanted to feel anger and hatred towards him. He had broken every boundary there was, even more than Elohim had, but I could not, because he was right. I felt adrift, meaningless and lost without being able to truly create something. Yes, I could still shape worlds but life, to create something and then watch it stir, take it's first breath and grow. That I could no longer do, none of us could. Yet Lucifer had found a way and who was I to condemn him for it.
“Yes, I do,” I eventually replied, “Although I know I shouldn't.”
His form slowly changed back into his original walking about form and a hint of his aura rippled around him, “Will you tell the others?” he asked. His tone was not threatening but the fact that he was abandoning the more human shell was.
I was so weary of fighting, “I am tired of battles Lucifer. Tired of questions that have no safe answers, tired of losing things I have cared for. I will say nothing. If they return here and find out it is between you and them. Do not thank me. I do not do this for you.”
He nodded, “Of course Remiel, I understand.” He shifted back to the more human shell and we returned to Lillith. I spent the rest of the day and well into the night with them. Lillith attempted to bring up the incident with Eve once or twice in an effort to ask my forgiveness for some obscure reason. I simply told her that what happened between all of them was something I chose not to get involved with anymore. Once they both realized that I was not there to judge their moods shifted into something much more relaxed. Lucifer frequently smiled at things she said or did and she returned his affections quite enthusiastically.
After she fell asleep I sent one last thought to Lucifer, “It has been good to see you smile again brother, no matter the reason why. I must leave now.” I really had no pressing thing to do but the sight of them, their happiness and joy was raising even more confusion in my mind, more unanswerable questions that began to weigh heavily upon me.
He stood, crossed the few steps that were between us and engulfed me in a tight embrace, not just with his arms but with his entire being. “You requested that I not thank you,” he whispered to me, “and I shan't. It was good to see you again. Farewell.”
He stepped back and before anything else could unsettle me further I left.
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Was Lucifer truly wrong in what he did? Perhaps, perhaps not. The stories of their offspring have been changed, just as his. Those humans who can trace their lineage back to Lillith and Lucifer, they are the ones who have hints of power that no science can explain. They know things, feel a greater connection to something they cannot describe. I have seen it bring them great joy and great pain.
Elohim has told his side of the story, how he views the events that happened. Is there truth in it? Of course, there is some truth in all stories. My truth is perhaps more subtle, my story more hidden. I chose a different path, a more neutral path. I was given the name Seeker, Teacher, Hermit by humans. I found my own form of joy. Perhaps one day I will share it with you, but for now I have someone awaiting me and have perchance shared more truth than was wise.
I leave you with this final thought, “As a matter of honor, one man owes it to another to manifest the truth.”~ Thomas Aquinas
-Remiel