After I took a bath we ate and I left him to go to my room. I don't think it was rude, if it was I didn't really care.
My mom apparently told him where the guess room was so I didn't have to. Last night I stayed up thinking. Like what the fuck is wrong with me!? He's 20 something and I'm only 18, why do I like him so much??
It's not just his looks, yes he's the hottest person alive but he's got a interesting personality. It frustrates me people he won't do everything I say but it's weird because I dont hate it.
Its 1pm, I skipped breakfast and I just feel.. weird. I haven't gone out of my room just because I feel sad. Normally I'm not sad but I've just been thinking.. I've gone through a lot of shit and now I'm scared of everything.
I wasn't always like this..
And today 2 years ago was one of those things that broke me. I'm not broken now but I'm flawed. When I go out of my room I feel like that's when my day starts and I dont want to start it.
Taking off my shirt I think about everything. My life has gotten better so I'm happy is just I do live in fear.. I cant help it. While taking off my pants I almost fall. I'm clumsy...
Once I'm completely naked I look at myself in the mirror.. I have a scar on my side that's two inches long. On my thighs I have circular scars. Ten on each leg.
Just as I slide my briefs up my door swings open. "Oh shit," he says and turns around. "Sorry, get dressed you have a friend over." I quickly put my pants on and long sleeved shirt.
"I'm done," I say and he turns around. He looks around at my room.
"I have someone over? Who?" I ask crossing my arms. I dont have any friends that come over..
"He said his name was justin," he says and I smile. Justin has been my friend for a few years but he stopped coming over and talking to me.. I forgive him, he probably was really busy.
"Send him up and can you make food?" I ask instead of demanding it.
"Okay, and yeah" he says and leaves.
Justin left a shirt last time he came over. I should probably return it. I go into my walk in closet and start looking.
I hear my door open and close. "Your shirt is somewhere in here," I say and bend down. It might be this one on the floor.
Slap
Justin slapped my ass?
I shoot up gasping and turning around all at once. Justin is my friend and he would never touch me innapropaly. Especially since what happend with Danny-
My eyes meet Danny's..
"I'm you scream I'll fucking kill you," he says and I'm petrified. My stomach feels like it's in my throat and my heart is in my stomach.
My stomach tied in knots..
He roughly grabs me and pushes me into the wall. No... this cant be happening..
Tears start to flow and I tremble in fear. He puts a hand around my throat but doesn't squeeze. I think it's there incase I struggle.
"Danny. Dont. Go away please," I say as his other hand goes up my shirt.
"Get on your knees and beg," he says aggressively. Maybe if I do this he'll leave. I slowly get down on my knees, he didn't back up so I'm leave with his crotch.
"P-please dont hurt me," I say looking at the ground.
He grabs my hair and yanks it back I gasp and grab his hands trying to stop the pain.
"Look me in the fucking eyes and beg," he harshly yells. My house is so big I could scream and Oliver wouldn't be able to hear..
"Pl-ease, I'm begging. I'm on my knees. Please leave me alone," I whimper out. He drags me by my hair out of the closet and throws me on my bed.
He jumps on and straddles me and starts unbuttoning my shirt. I look over and on my night stand is my remote that will signal Oliver if he has it with him. When my shirt us unbuttoned all the way he starts to take of his shirt.
I grab the remote and press the red button and quickly drop it so Danny doesn't see it. He he kisses me but I fight it and try to push him off but he grabs my arm and force it under his knee and holding my other arm down with his hand. His free hand goes to unbuttoning my pants.
It's hard to breath through all the crying and sobbing I'm doing. My door opens and Danny looks at a pissed off Oliver.
"Hel-" I start but Danny back hands me in the face as hard as he can. Danny is ripped off of me and thrown on the ground.
I get off the bed quickly and run out the door. I run towards my hiding place, upstairs on the third floor. Nobody comes up here. I stumble on the stairs but make it up. Right or left? I go right and pass closed doors. The last door I go in and look at the bedroom.
It's just a guest bedroom, nothing special. I go into the closet and close myself in it. I get out my phone and call the police. I tell them what happened and told them everything they need to know.
5 minutes later I hear sirens but this house is pretty sound proof so I cant hear anything important. 30 minutes pass of me crying in the closet. I climb into the bed and hug the pillow and cry into it.
A while passes and I'm no longer sobbing, just tears and sniffles. I hear doors open and close and I know the person is about to find me.
Hopefully its Oliver and not a police or Danny. The door opens and I look to see Oliver. I hide my face in the pillow and continue to lay on my stomach. My shirts still unbuttoned because I'm to shakey to fix it.
I hear him walk over to the bed, "love can you talk to me?" He asks and I look at him. He's kneeling down next to the bed with his elbows on the bed.
"T-that was my ex" I say and more tears spill out of my eyes. Oliver sits on the edge of my bed and I see his lip is split. Danny punched him in the face...
I sit up and close my shirt so he cant see my skin. "Do you want me to help?" He asks looking at my shirt.
I let go of my shirt and turn my head giving him permission. He buttons up my shirt and wipes tears away from my cheeks.
"That's probably going to bruise, do you want ice?" I touch my cheekbone to feel it stings when I touch it. Danny's always hit hard..
I nod and he then looks a bit curious. He's about to ask a question. People always ask questions when they get that look he's making. Is it bad I trust Oliver enough to see me weak?
"Why was he here? Does he bother you a lot?" He asks.
I think I can trust Oliver enough to talk about this.. "exactly a year ago we broke up.. it was our 2 year anniversary.. but things go out of hand so I broke up with him and ended up in the hospital," I say looking down.
"If it cheers you up any, I did beat the shit out of him. He's probably at the hospital now," Oliver says and I look at his knuckles. His knuckles are bruised and bloody.
After being sexually assaulted you think I would want to be alone but I don't. I want to be taken cared of. Hugged and talked to...
"I had this one ex that told everyone that I pissed on her, for everything she put me through I should have" he says and I feel a bit disappointed. He's straight.
"I need to take a bath.. I still feel.. violated" I whisper remembering how his hands touched me.
"I'll go run you water, bubbles?" He says getting up.
"Carry me?" I ask quietly, he's straight.. why did he carry me around? Isn't that like, weird for a straight guy to do to another guy?
"Of course, come here," he says and I get up and he bends slightly and grabs the backs of my thighs. I grab his shoulders for support and he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist.
"How old are you?" I ask as he starts to carry me down one stair case and into my bathroom. My second bathroom that's not in my room, its next to my room the size of a regular room. The walls are light pink. First glance you might think its white but its definitely pink. So are the rugs and shower curtain.
"I'm 25, how old are you?" He answers.
"Im 18.." he puts me on the countertop and looks at me for a second before speaking up.
"About that, you seem a little old to have a babysitter. Why do you need one?" He asks looking confused.
"I'm uh.. I'm scared of a lot of things and if I was alone I'd probably be constantly scared.." I mumble feeling embarrassed.
"Interesting," he says and goes to the big bathtub. I've almost drowned in this bath a few times.. he puts the plug in and turns on the water.
I know your only supposed to put a cap full of bubble soap in but I have 5 unopened bottles of this stuff so I grab it and pour half the bottle in and watch as million and billions of baby bubbles build up.
"I'm going to let you enjoy your super bubbly bath, oh and love. Now that your not scared of me. Answer me this one question I've been dying to know.. what the fuck is your name? All I know is your last name is Bostwick," he says and I frown.
"My name is Kellin Quinn. Bostwick isnt my last name," I say feeling upset.
"Oh. well Kelly, have a good bath" he says and leaves.
Kelly? Whatever. I turn around and watch my bathtub being filled up. I love bubbles.. I take off my shirt and go to talk off my pants but the door opens.
Quickly I turn around and see Oliver with a towel, I step back but hit my foot into the bath and full backwards into it. Water eats my whole body except knees and down. I immediately jump out and water gets everywhere.
He looks sad.. he saw.. he sees..
"C-can.. can I see?" He asks nervously. I've never seen him nervous.
"I don't- I don't know why?" I try to calm myself. My pants are stuck to me and its uncomfortable.
He looks upset. Not mad just upset... "I'm sorry that's rude of me to ask.. um, I got you a towel and I was going to ask if you wanted me to get you some clothes. I don't think you would have your shirt off already, I'm sorry" he apologizes.
"You can look if you agree to stay in here and make sure I dont drown and not be perverted," I say not wanting to be alone. He puts the towel down on the counter and goes up to me slowly.
I turn around for him and he looks at my back.. I have three scars that are horizontal on my lower back. The longest one is the lowest one, the middle one is smaller and its level with my bellybutton. The smallest is the one two inches above the middle one.
"How did you get these?" He says and touches one softly.
"I dont know," its obviously a lie but he doesn't push. He turns off the water and then gets in front of me. His eyes on my side.
"What about this one?" He asks gently touching the scar on my side. All the scars I have are white and over 4 years old. The ones on my back are 6 years old.
"Nope.." I say and he takes my arm and looks at my cut up wrist... all old no new ones.
"What about these? You cant explain these?" He asks thinking he knows what they are from.
"Not really.." I mumble and he looks sad..
"Kellin these are obvious, why not just admit it?" He says and I feel tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
"Oh really? Theres obvious? How about you tell me how they got there," I say and tears spill.
"You cut.. but I'm proud of you because they all are old-"
"Nope, your wrong. Now turn around so I can get into the bath," I say and he obeys with a confused look.
"You've never cut yourself?" He asks as I take off my wet pants and underwear.
"Well I'm not saying I've never done it but those scars aren't from my hands" I say and get into the bath. Once my lower body is under the water and the bubbles protect all the way to my chest, I say "okay you can look."
He sits on the edge of my bath with his back the a wall and he's looking at me. We are about 4 or 3 feet away. Like I said, my bath is really big.
"Your ex?" He asks.
"I have a few scars from him but no," I say. I would show him but it's 3 inches below my bellybutton and to the right. Its really hard to see because the cut wasnt deep at all.
"You're parents didn't seem like the abusive type.. was it one of them?" He asks.
"No those people are really nice. Why do you want to know so much?" I ask. I actually think I could tell him now that I've calmed down but I don't see why he cares.
"I just dont see how someone could hurt someone as precious and innocent as you and would like to know why and who.. I know its personal but I want you to trust me," he says looking at me in the eyes.
I look away, "I lost my innocence a long time ago and I've never been 'precious'" I say putting air quotes around precious.
"You are innocent, I'm not saying your a virgin but you're innocent," he says and I blush. I lost my virginity when I was 16, that's around the age most boys lose it..
"The people that hurt me aren't around anymore so you don't have to think about it. I'm fine," I say and go under the water for a few moments and then come back up and wipe my face and shake my head and water gets on Oliver making him laugh.
"Dont make me wet," he says wiping water off his cheek.
"I'm sorry me being naked makes you wet," I say and he rolls his eyes.
I shampoo and condition my hair with my vanilla scented hair soaps. Everything I use is vanilla scented.
I wash my body, Oliver was only looking at me when I talked but now he's watching me. He looks down at the bath water where my feet are. What is he doing? He reaches into the water and grabs my ankle.
"Wha-?"
He lifts my foot and leg out of the water. He looks at my calf and then strokes it with his other hand. My whole face is red and I'm bewildered.
He put my ankle down and acts like he's confused on why I'm looking at him the way I am.
"Oh, I was curious if you shaved. You're armpits aren't hairy so I had to confirm it" he says and I blush more.
"Yeah I shave, now stop being curious about my body because I need to get out and I'm trusting you to close your eyes and keep them close until I say you can look," I say and he closes his eyes.
"Whatever you say Queen Quinn. But you body is beautiful it's a shame you wont watch you and all your glory change," he says and I glare at him but his eyes are closed.
I get up and grab my towel and watch him his eyes are closed. I tie it around my waist. "Okay," I say and he looks at me. He gets up and unplug the bathwater.
When I walk to my room he follows and I go into my closet, Oliver makes me forget about Danny.. I look in my closet and I hear him open a draw. Stopping with my task to see what he's going I see him looking in my dresser!
"Oh my god, put this on," he says and I watch as he pulls out a black flowy black skirt. Yes those are mine, I like girl clothes.. but I've never worn them in front of anyone except my parents and Danielle.
He pulls out white panties that say 'spank me' on them and a white crop top. I blush and he smiles goofily holding the outfit.
"Um.." I mumble feeling embarrassed.
He hands me them and turns around so I can change. I put it all on but frown. My skirt goes to my mid thigh, the cigarette burns are visible. Those are from the first time I was caught wearing a skirt..
They made sure to but ugly scars on my body so I'd always where jeans and long sleeves. I'm ugly..