7:30 a.m., eddy's alarm went off. brett stirred from his deep sleep and smacked it until it turned off, frowning at the unmoving boy next to him in the bed.
"eddy," he mumbled, pushing his shoulder. the taller boy groaned and slid his arms around brett's waist, pulling him close and kissing the back of his neck.
"i don't want to leave you," he whined, sliding his hands under brett's shirt to touch his chest. he sighed and leaned his head back to rest it on eddy's shoulder.
"you have to."
"can i have a kiss first?" eddy mumbled, almost afraid to ask. brett rolled over to face him and cupped his cheeks, softly kissing his slightly chapped lips.
"mm, don't stop yet," the taller boy grunted when he pulled away after only a few seconds. brett sighed quietly.
"you have to go, baby."
eddy's cheeks reddened at the nickname and he smiled, kissing brett's lips once more before climbing out of bed. his smile faded when he reminded himself of what the day could hold. leaving brett alone when he'd been so sad lately was absolutely terrifying. he got dressed and went to sit back on the bed. brett had covered himself with the blankets again and appeared to be trying to go back to sleep, but eddy grabbed his hand.
"brett?"
"mmph."
"will you look at me?" his voice was soft and pleading as he stroked the back of brett's fingers. the smaller boy looked almost childlike as he popped his head out of the blankets and opened his slightly reddened eyes. eddy took a deep breath.
"promise me you're going to stay safe today," he whispered. brett grunted and pulled his hand away, ducking his head back under the covers.
"please?" eddy begged.
"mm."
"i want you to be here when i come home."
"mmmm."
"brett," eddy said, exasperated.
"go to work," brett's muffled voice came from under the covers. "i'll be fine."
eddy was not convinced, but there was nothing he could do. he pulled the covers off of brett's head and kissed his forehead lightly.
"i'll come see you at lunch, okay? i love you," he sighed.
"i love you, too," brett mumbled.
as soon as he left the house, a pit formed in eddy's stomach. every bone in his body was aching to go back home and crawl into bed with brett. all he wanted to was hold him and kiss him until he felt better, but it just wasn't going to work that way. his hands shook as he tried to focus on the road and actually getting to work.
rehearsal did not go well for eddy. he was so distracted by worrying about brett that his hands shook constantly and the concertmaster had to snap at him to get his attention twice. time seemed to inch by slowly and eddy wasn't entirely sure that his watch wasn't broken when 10:59 a.m. seemed to last 20 minutes. but, lunchtime finally came and his fingers were on his phone before he'd even walked out of the room. the line rang twice before brett answered.
"hey, love," his voice came clearly through the phone, providing more relief than eddy could have ever imagined.
"hey," he breathed. "i'm on the way there."
"okay. i'm sorry about this morning. i just woke up in a bad mood... well, i've been in a bad mood. you know," brett went on. eddy raised an eyebrow at how decent he sounded.
"are you okay?"
"i'm alright. better right now than i have been, since i'm hearing your voice. i miss you already," brett said softly. a smile spread across eddy's face.
"i miss you more. the concertmaster got onto me twice today. i've been distracted as fuck. and it sounds so empty without you next to me," the taller boy chuckled, shaking his head.
"i'm sorry, darling. i just... i can't leave the house," he laughed bitterly. eddy waved his hand dismissively even though he knew brett couldn't see it.
"oh, don't worry about it. you need time to grieve and that's okay," he assured the other boy. brett sighed.
"are you almost here? i need a hug," he said, his voice tinged with sadness again. eddy nodded.
"yeah, love. i'll be there in about two minutes, okay?"
"okay. i'm going to hang up because i don't trust you to drive and talk to me at the same time. i love you," brett teased, but it didn't bother the taller boy. he was just happy to hear that he was in a better mood. he hoped it would stay that way after lunch.
"i love you, too, gorgeous."
"bye, eddy."
"bye."
eddy arrived at brett's house two minutes later, as promised. he was itching to see the smaller boy as he walked quickly up to the door and pulled it open.
brett was laying on the couch, wrapped in more blankets than eddy could count. as soon as he noticed eddy, he pushed them off of himself and patted the space next to him on the couch. the younger boy sat down and brett's arms were around him immediately, his eyes closed and his head buried in his boyfriend's shoulder.
"hey," eddy said quietly. "you alright?"
a shrug was brett's only response. it wasn't unusual for his moods to change so quickly, but that didn't make eddy any happier about the fact that he wasn't doing well. it only made leaving him more terrifying.
"have you eaten anything?" asked the taller boy. brett shook his head.
"wanted to wait and have lunch with you," he muttered. the previous happiness was gone from his voice. eddy nodded in response.
"well," he smiled slightly, "i'm here now. what do you want to eat?"
"cereal," brett answered simply. eddy scoffed playfully and ran his hand through his boyfriend's soft hair.
"actually?" he asked. brett nodded.
"alright then."
the two of them ate on the couch in comfortable silence, brett's head resting on eddy's shoulder. the taller boy could tell that brett was feeling down again and wished there was something he could do to help. he finished eating and put his arms around the other boy's shoulders, planting soft kisses on his warm cheeks. brett leaned into the gentle touch and closed his eyes. it was nice to have something else to focus on other than his own sadness and the strange silence in the room that the lack of eddy's presence resulted in.
he wouldn't admit it, but brett had not been okay during his phone call with eddy or at any point in time throughout that day. his mood had been up and down drastically but he really did not want eddy to know how bad he was actually doing because he knew the taller boy was bound to refuse to leave and cost himself a half a day's pay. the bathroom had been taunting brett for hours and he hadn't even taken his daily medication because he feared he would not return from that room if he went in. however, he probably should've taken that risk. without his medicine, he was more likely to hurt himself anyways. it was a viciously paradoxical situation and he'd been struggling with it for the entirety of his day alone.
asking eddy to get his medicine out of the bathroom for him was not something brett wanted to do. the thought hung in the back of his mind and he shook it away, embarrassed. he told himself he was fine.
the hour eddy was allowed for lunch break passed painfully quick. neither of them wanted to separate from each other and they didn't want to acknowledge that brett was in serious danger when left alone. it wasn't that he wanted to do anything to himself, but his brain worked in weird ways that he had yet to figure out and learn to manage. he was scared of being by himself because the last thing he wanted was to do something that would make eddy sad. he'd already hurt him enough.
"eddy?" brett said, glancing at the time. the taller boy had ten minutes before he was supposed to be back at rehearsal and he was currently laid on the couch with his boyfriend entirely on top of him.
"i know. just give me, like, two more minutes with you."
"you're going to be late," brett warned. eddy shook his head.
"i really don't care. i just want to keep you safe a little longer."
the smaller boy hugged eddy tightly and gently kissed his lips. being so loved was not something brett had ever experienced and it brought tears to his eyes as he ran his hands through his boyfriend's hair.
"you have to go."
"okay."
eddy stood up and took brett with him, holding him by the waist. the two embraced for what was probably too long before pulling away and saying their goodbyes. the taller boy promised to be home as soon as he could and brett promised that he would be safe when he got there.
one of those promises was going to be broken.