Sooji: You said that you were going to the bathroom!
Mari: We thought you died!
Everytime I think I’m going to get a peaceful mid-day dream, my roommates prove me violently wrong by storming in my room (uninvited) and make loud conversation while blowing their puff bar in my face. And it’s not even a good flavor.
What am I getting scolded for this time? Well, you probably can already guess.
Am I the only one who doesn’t really think it’s a big deal? I mean, I a big girl. I’m 19 not 12. Do I really need to text these guys about my whereabouts every hour? They’re not my parents.
Zo: Correction, these two dramatic bitches thought you died.
Peach: *smoking* I had to logical excuse that you just went to catch a dick.
Me: Well, I’m obviously not dead, and no dick has been caught.
Peach: *smoking* Mhm, then what’s on your neck there Nari?
Me: Mind your business.
Zo: *in my closet* Holy shit!
Me: What? Why are you snooping?
Zo, not listening, pulled out the new jacket Versace bomber jacket that was still on it's hanger. I put I in the back in hopes that no one would find it.
Zo: When the hell did you get this?
Sooji: I knew you didn’t have it before you made me think I was crazy.
Peach: *smoking* You are crazy. Nari has had that thing for years.
Get yourself a friend to have your back like Peach.
Me: Yeah, so put it back.
Sooji: That was not here when she moved in. Peach can you quit blowing your mechanical smoke in my face?
Me: Sooji can you relax? It’s not your jacket so why does it matter?
Sooji: I don’t give a rats ass about the jacket. You’re the one acting weird and I know I’m not the only one who has been noticing.
Me: Due tell Sooji.
Sooji: You get new shit right out of the blue. Like a new phone, new airpods, new shoes, a new fucking versace jacket.
Me: I thought we just established that it’s not new.
Sooji: Don’t insult me.
Mari: Sooji isn’t wrong. Look at your room. You didn’t have those decorative pillows before. Or the lights on the wall. Or those curtains.
Me: It’s a crime for me to decorate my room and shop is that what I’m hearing?
Sooji: That’s the thing, you don’t even do those things. You didn’t before.
Me: And what’s wrong with me doing it now?
Sooji: because literally three months ago you couldn’t even get half past eight at sonic and now you have a nac for home decor?
Me: Ok, Sooji, I love you, I really do, but take a hint. You’re not my mother. So hop off.
Sooji: Right because she’s dead. And so is your dad. But somehow you’re still enrolled here, paid off the semester, and have the luxury of playing house wife inside of ikea.
Me: Thank you so much for the reminder that I don’t have a father anymore. I just love hearing that so much. And for the record my mom isn’t dead.
Sooji: Then where the hell is she then? Is she the one giving you all this stuff?
Zo: Sooji, relax.
Sooji: Don’t tell me to fucking relax. Nari literally disappears from everything we do, runs off, and comes back home with a toy. After cheer? Vanish. During the party? Vanish.
Me: Again, why do you have a problem with that?
Sooji: I don’t care what you do. I care that you’re lying straight to my face.
Me: I didn’t lie about anything.
Sooji: See? That right there is a lie. Tell us, where are the bruises on your waist from.
Peach: Bruises?
Sooji: *lifting my shirt* Right here.
Me: *pushing Sooji away* Dude! Stop!
Sooji: If you’re not lying then show us.
Me: Can you back off!
Sooji: No, where are you going every Friday night?
Me: Why doesn’t it matter?
Sooji: STOP FUCKING DEFLECTING!
Peach: Bruh, Sooji, calm down. If she doesn’t want to talk about it then just let her be.
Mari: Ok, but we’re roommates.
Peach: It doesn’t matter. Nari doesn’t owe y’all anything.
Sooji: Fine. Then that little bitch needs to start putting in rent around here to, since I’m doing it all myself.
Me: You don’t ask Mari for rent.
Sooji: Mari doesn’t act like a bitch.
Me: The only here that does is you.
Sooji: Keep trying me and I’ll kick you out. With all that new money you can get yourself a place can’t you?
Me: Ok what is the real issue here? Are you mad about me having “secrets”? Are you mad that I'm “ditching” you guys? Are you mad that I’m getting new stuff? Or are you mad that you’re no longer the person in the group that can flex their bills? You surprised to find out daddy isn’t the only person with money in Korea?
Sooji: At least he’s still breathing.
Peach: Bro…
Zo: Sooji-
Me: Get out.
Sooji: Are you fucking kiddin-
Me: Sooji, get the hell out or I swear to god I’m going to throw you and your nose job out that freaking window. NOW! GET OUT! ALL OF YOU.
Sooji: *mumbling; walking out* Dramatic ass bitch.